Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

A Dom with only 20 years old?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> A Dom with only 20 years old? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 9:17:54 AM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		Would you concider a Dom that only have had 20 years old subs?
That NEVER have had elder? and if hes just as old to be their father?
Does it imply that he has trouble with women his age or to be mature?
That says he cant find a girl his age?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 9:24:49 AM   
honeygirl


Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline 		I think it all depends -- you'd have to look at all the other factors. I mean, has he mentioned what about you attracts him?


(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 9:26:34 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		how old is he?

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to honeygirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 9:30:28 AM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		Himself is 38, and yes hes attracted to me in all ways,we also happen to have similar interests and our personalities goes along really well. But Im questioning his maturity and ability to engage in the same levels also thinking bdsm,when hes only had 20 years old subs. Im thinking,what is wrong with him-or is it or is it not? and how do I find out?

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 9:35:20 AM   
honeygirl


Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline 		Are you questioning his maturity because of actions he's taken or things he's said (I'm excluding the 20 year olds)?

*Something* must have triggered your hesitation about this guy. I'm assuming he didn't tell you it was an act of largesse to date you since you're so much older than the women he's dated in the past, lol?!?

(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 9:41:03 AM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		It would make me wonder about a few issues he might have.  One being if he cant' sustain a relationship with someone who has considerable more life experiences than a 20 year old might and also i'd probably question his D/s skills.  No offense to a few of the 20 yr olds out there, but for the most part at that age and beginning in the lifestyle they are likely to be more impressed by the "on your knees bitch" kinda doms.  Sometimes those kind of men are attracted more to the kink of the lifestyle(nothing wrong with this as long as your honest)than a desire to nurture a healthy relationship.  We've all heard stories or witnessed those doms we think of as predators...hitting on newbies deep in sub frenzy, then moving on to their next "victim" Or maybe he's merely lazy...getting the max return by exerting little effort?

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 9:47:10 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I do not think it is fair to question an inherant part of him (dominant) simply because he, like so many, prefer really young women.  If you are attracted to him and are submissive, I would then venture a guess that at some point, something of his dominance has or had you enthralled. 

You may not like his choices or preference, that has more to do with the man as a whole and not the legitmacy of his nature (necessarily)... and of course YOU.  Look, at twenty, I had already lived a life, and honestly was not that much different at my core than I am now at...gulps...nearing forty in a few years.  In fact having cared for a terminally ill parent and raising my younger brother (not terribly well) I might have been a great deal more weighted down with 'maturity' and responsibility than I am now.  So youth does not necessarily = bimbo.

If your real problem is that he likes fucking things deliciosuly younger, firmer and more dexterous than yourself... well I can can understand that too... but...he has every right to like what he likes, and so do you.  You are also entitled to the opinion of how shallow and superficial that may or may not make him, in your book...

But I would not say it would merit calling something as intensely personal and (potentially) natural as an essense of being like one's dominance or submission, into question.  It is just as awful as people saying you are not really a submissive because... (insert pat stereotype here)

I think you are asking yourself, and by extension all these lurverly pervers her on the forum, the wrong question here.

Maybe you should ask.... do I think this guy is an asshole because he ONLY seems to want young women?

But that's just my take!

< Message edited by puella -- 9/20/2009 9:53:09 AM >

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 10:05:06 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		One of our closest friends is a Dom male, late 30s that tends to date 20 year olds. Why? Because he travels 3 weeks per month and has a brutal work schedule. He's fairly well off, owns 2 houses in CA, 2 in TX and the brand new BMW.

He likes dating 20 year olds because they tend to be happier just letting the relationship go the way it goes. He's dealt with too many women who pressure him to get married, about their biological clock, about how much he works, and see him as a meal ticket.

I don't necessarily agree with his philosophy, but it's a logical view point.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to silkncarol)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 10:38:12 AM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		I think I have made very well clear,that I dont judge someones choices,or ppl in other ages,since I also wrote that I have met wonderful ppl in 20,as well as opposite. It is no, that. And by the way,even my age I happen to look 25-27,so no,puella,its not the looks either. Read what I said instead. He tries to pursue me,right. I think very much like Silkncarol here. Can he,or can he not, engage in also a relationship with ppl elder than 20 and all that comes with it,or can he not? Is he mature or is he not? To be logical, it could be the case he cant. as well opposite. well, I dont know how much skills of D/s a person in 20 can have, but you shall surely start early on at least.. I have not had any play session with this guy, since I want to get to know first. But it makes me think how much skill he really have, or if those hes been with how much they had. Its hard to tell. It doesnt have to,but it ALSO could be that he really cant sustain relationships with ppl over 20. He told me they all been 20. its fine, if he has no trouble else,sure. But I could also risk the other. So how do I tell?
Are there any signs? or do I really have to play with him? I dont want to play,if he is a nutcase I would regret even that. So how to solve it?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 10:40:25 AM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		No offense,puella, but there are ALSO men that ONLY seek ppl age 20 and under,because they cant sustain a relationship with elder girls! it is. I dont say all are,but there are some. And that you should also take not of,because it is not fun for ppl your age,either.

(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 10:41:50 AM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		Osidegirl.. thats cool for him,if thats what he wants. Me, I dont want kids and I certainly dont want to get married lol so.. no.. Im not one of them,at least.

(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 10:43:58 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		lol people my age?  Good heaven's I am not a contemporary of Mozart for heavens sake!  hehe

Look you took umbrage at what I wrote, for what ever reason... I still stand by what I said and have very little idea what else to tell you besides what it is you want to hear, and I rarely say things for that reason.  :)  Good luck!

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 11:04:46 AM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		In your age i would also react defensive as soon as I heard someone say something about my age that time and elder,even if it was negative or positive. all I could hear was age-roar! I have made perfectly clear, that 1. playing with 20 years old or so is fine 2. I dont judge ages. that was not the topic, but why he ONLY did that. And what lies behind. but you go into defensive mode. so you must apparently have some prob with age.

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 11:07:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I would have trouble with anyone who chose to say to me, "You're much older than my usual subs. I've never dated anyone older than 20 before".

One, I would wonder why he felt it necessary to tell me this.
Two, I need more explanation. Does he kick them out on their 21st birthday no ifs, ands or buts?
Three, how long have any of those previous ones lasted?

See if at 28 he dated a 20 year old and they had an intense relationship for ten years, I might understand why he sought to repeat that experience by dating only other 20 year olds although I do think it's pretty dumb.

But if he's only had short term relationships with younger women to prevent the possibility of having a long term one, that says something different about him.

More importantly Mona, is what do you want in this relationship. Fun and games being each other's booty call? Love and marriage? Figure out what you want and then see if he's compatible.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 11:12:13 AM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		*pops her gum, yacks loudly on her cell phone, and order's a beer*  I'm glad I'm 23, least I can go to the bar legally.

_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 11:25:37 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		That is very much something you will need to ask him, not us. WE can not tell you HIS motivations only he can.
quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave
Can he,or can he not, engage in also a relationship with ppl elder than 20 and all that comes with it,or can he not? Is he mature or is he not? To be logical, it could be the case he cant. as well opposite. well, I dont know how much skills of D/s a person in 20 can have, but you shall surely start early on at least.. I have not had any play session with this guy, since I want to get to know first. But it makes me think how much skill he really have, or if those hes been with how much they had. Its hard to tell. It doesnt have to,but it ALSO could be that he really cant sustain relationships with ppl over 20. He told me they all been 20. its fine, if he has no trouble else,sure. But I could also risk the other. So how do I tell?
Are there any signs? or do I really have to play with him? I dont want to play,if he is a nutcase I would regret even that. So how to solve it?

(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 12:17:44 PM   
BeIgnited


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline 		There are no "signs" or secret codes--the only way to tell if his dating 20 year olds exclusively has been happenstance or a fear of commitment (or whatever else might pose a problem) is to get to know him and figure it out for yourself. There's no harm in taking your time to do this.

In your posts, you seem more fixated on the fact that he's dated 20 year olds than what you like about him. I have to wonder then--do you like him? Will it bother you that he's dated primarily 20 year-olds before, regardless of the reason? No matter what you 'decide' about his motivations, is this always going to be sitting at the back of your head? If so, why does it matter? Skip the drama and move on.

< Message edited by BeIgnited -- 9/20/2009 12:19:00 PM >

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 2:25:54 PM   
sublace


Posts: 201
Status: offline 		Maybe he dates 20 year olds because most of the good 30 and 40 year olds are already taken?

(in reply to BeIgnited)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 2:40:46 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		What do I think?
Well...tolerance is a wonderful thing, and personal choices should be respected. May/ December romances are nothing new. Older men chasing younger women is not new.

What do I think? Honestly, the majority of the ones I have observed are just what you would think, men using their income and status to purchase a trophy. A minority are truly wonderful loving couples.

What do I think?
We all make our choices, and live with them. Personally I prefer women who are closer to my age than not.

(in reply to sublace)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A Dom with only 20 years old? - 9/20/2009 5:34:00 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I think you are going to have to spend time with this man to figure out his motives. After all, isn't getting to know someone part of what we do?   When we date someone, we take the time to get to know them. There are no guarantees as to their maturity, personality or anything else, and there are no guarantees in the bdsm realm.

"Date" him and then you can tell us why he has 20-year-old subs.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> A Dom with only 20 years old? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094