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RE: New Submissive Question - 9/21/2009 8:10:48 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

My answer to this is pretty simple after dealing with the same issues for so long.

Is whatever I feel like being rude,snippy or a bitch about really THAT important?

99.9% of the time....it's not worth the effort to be a bitch.

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Post #: 21

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/21/2009 9:36:06 PM

Arjuna02

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/27/2009
Status: offline

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Post #: 22

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/21/2009 9:45:33 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arjuna02

Quite impressed by your first post there honey.

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Post #: 23

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/22/2009 4:52:32 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arjuna02

Quite impressed by your first post there honey.

/snicker

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Post #: 24

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/22/2009 5:19:36 AM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HopeServes
I'm sarcastic, snippy, stubborn, and a bitch. I hate taking orders and yet I want more than anything to be a better submissive for him.

i appreciate any help or advice.

~hope

Hello HopeServes. In my household my wife can be obedient, submissive and pleasing anytime she likes. When she ''feels'' like being a sarcastic snippy stubborn bitch it's ok as long as she asks permission. Would you be mature enough to ask permission before unleashing your brattiness on your dom, what would he answer you? There is not much self discipline used in pleasing when it is gratifying to one's ego, but it takes a lot of self control to refrain from being unpleasant. My wife knows my answer and that is why she tells me when she is not ''feeling'' well. That is the mature way to get attention and emotional support. RL.

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Post #: 25

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/23/2009 5:43:07 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

wsb, just a year? Wow, I am impressed. We were ldr for a couple of years and I didn't really start making headway on letting down those barriers until after living together for two. The easy stuff, what he likes and doesn't like in his surroundings came a lot faster than not protecting myself from him.

And yeah, I was sarcastic and bitchy. He would just remind me I didn't have to be, that I was safe. And usually he did this by first dragging me into his arms, his lap.

Remember folks, it is when we act most unlovable that we are most in need of love. If we don't get it when we need it, we don't change. It's like only being allowed water when you've just had some and not when you're thirsty. So if his response to you being metaphorically thirsty is to deny you a drink until you already aren't thirsty, you aren't going to change.

Part of the responsibility of a good dominant is to see this and to lead with it. Something I've learned from him doing it, fulfilling needs I had given up ever expecting to be filled, and more. Which is why I'm so devoted to him

It was probably closer to 2 years (I did say well over a year

) That doesn't mean that I didn't/don't still have issues to work through. It just means that I don't have all those protective barriers in the way any longer. I know he will never intentionally hurt the little child inside of me I protected for 42 years.

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Post #: 26

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/23/2009 6:05:19 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

K, which should say to all those so called masters of 2 months that their expectations are way out of line. That this is not a weekend project but one of years long work. And if they don't have the patience to keep working at it, don't start because to be picked up and then kicked back out after a little bit is like adopting a puppy at the holidays and sending it back to the shelter when it hasn't immediately learned not to pee in the house or chew your shoes. Just causes more distrust in the one who gets abandoned.

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Post #: 27

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/24/2009 5:30:19 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

Exactly Celeste, I couldn't agree with you more.

I have to say that MasterK has the patience of a saint, and the past 4 years since we met have been amazing. I no longer worry about having to deal with a lot of my past demons.

There have been no instant results on my part, I had (have?) a lot of issues to deal with, and he has taken them all in stride. Especially when I would be waiting for angry outbursts, because that is what I had been used to during my marriage, and he has always responded calmly to any mis-steps.

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Post #: 28

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/24/2009 7:23:53 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HopeServes

I'm sarcastic, snippy, stubborn, and a bitch. I hate taking orders

hahaha. Well, I don't know what to say to all that. I happen to be a little bit sassy and I can, at times, be stubborn but Sir still loves me and chose me to belong to Him, even with my sassy stubbornness. Maybe your D-type chose you because of your above-mentioned personality traits because He likes a challenge?

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

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Post #: 29

RE: New Submissive Question - 9/25/2009 10:32:13 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra

quote:

ORIGINAL: HopeServes
I'm sarcastic, snippy, stubborn, and a bitch. I hate taking orders and yet I want more than anything to be a better submissive for him.

i appreciate any help or advice.

~hope

Hello HopeServes. In my household my wife can be obedient, submissive and pleasing anytime she likes. When she ''feels'' like being a sarcastic snippy stubborn bitch it's ok as long as she asks permission. Would you be mature enough to ask permission before unleashing your brattiness on your dom, what would he answer you? There is not much self discipline used in pleasing when it is gratifying to one's ego, but it takes a lot of self control to refrain from being unpleasant. My wife knows my answer and that is why she tells me when she is not ''feeling'' well. That is the mature way to get attention and emotional support. RL.