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RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/21/2009 7:55:06 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubbyheart

can a submissive or a slave truely not have any possessiveness over anything in any way shape or form?

I ask this due to knowing that myself, claims "my Master" which in itself is claiming a possessiveness over Him. also, if a slave is allowed certain items to sleep on (blankets, furs, a little mat), regarless of knowing that they can be taken away is she/he is bad, they would come to claim those things as "their bed", which is also a possessive saying.


While you may lay claim to your Master when you gift him with your submission, you will never possess him. I am afraid one who considers such things as possessiveness may also have thoughts that may be jealous in nature; neither is desired by the dominant.

< Message edited by Acer49 -- 9/21/2009 7:57:42 PM >

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(in reply to sweetsubbyheart)
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RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/21/2009 8:05:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It's very possible. Sometimes I wish I could say I didn't have possessions. They're more a nuisance to me than anything but being a single mom with a decent career going and a mortgage, possessions are par for the course.

To deny otherwise would be a lie. It's part of the world we live in. In my mind I would love if Master said I no longer had any possessions, they all belonged to him but in reality I know that's just an impossibility with the type of life I have. Besides he wouldn't want my possessions. I'd start wondering what kind of idiot would want to take on a second mortgage, more bills than what he already has, college tuition for the kid, etc...

As for me possessing Master. I don't see it that way at all. I don't possess him. I don't own him. I do love and care for him very much though but for me that's part of just being with someone.

Would kinda negate the whole being of why I'm his slave anyway. I don't tell him what to do. He tells me what to do. I don't make demands of him, he makes demands of me. I wouldn't have it any other way.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 9/21/2009 8:08:08 PM >

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RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/21/2009 8:07:24 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

why do people have to over analyze things when someone asks a yes or no question... sigh



Ok... my answer is that I don't think this question is best answered with a simple yes or no. In fact, I think it would be doing a great disservice to the topic and the answers you got above this were pretty fucking awesome.

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(in reply to sweetsubbyheart)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/21/2009 10:27:54 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I talk about "my Grandmother," but I certainly don't own/possess her! It's just that's who she is with respect to me. America is "my" country, I can give "my" zipcode, have "my" seat in a class, and so forth. "My" boyfriend/Master indicates that we are linked/involved with each other. He happens not to be really big on high protocol, third-person "Bob Dole" speak, or typing W/with w/Weird cApItAlIzAtIoN. He has not asked or ordered me to sign over any property to him, he's more focused on other elements of service, emotional connection, control, and kink.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 12:55:32 AM   
SassyBird


Posts: 48
Joined: 8/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubbyheart

I just love how when anyone places a post, everyone else seems to think that it is a personalized question.

This is only hypethetical people.

More like a psycholigical possibility that while the general Ds 'protocol' states that a submissive or a slave cannot possess anything that is not given to them by their owner, we do automatically by human nature, so therefore it questions the whole statement.

why do people have to over analyze things when someone asks a yes or no question... sigh


quote:

can a submissive or a slave truely not have any possessiveness over anything in any way shape or form?


I love how you use sarcasm because, your initial question was posed in the way that you were baffled at something you had been told by someone with conviction.(You might be surprised at how many "newbies" pose similar questions, and actually mean them.)
But, I don't know how that question could be seen as "a psychological possibility" the way your phrased it, or be seen as hypothetical.

I don't see anyone in this thread over analysing either, and the fact that you accuse them of such after giving you their best shot at an answer is kinda offensive in my book.

(in reply to sweetsubbyheart)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 1:15:41 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

While you may lay claim to your Master when you gift him with your submission, you will never possess him. I am afraid one who considers such things as possessiveness may also have thoughts that may be jealous in nature; neither is desired by the dominant.


A bit "one twue way" there, Acer. First off, many many subs do not consider submission a gift (ick!). Secondly, some Doms do roll that way as regards possession and/or laying claim. It is not for you, I, or anyone else to say what "the dominant" in any given thread will or should desire.


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(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 1:29:33 AM   
bravemax


Posts: 23
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		It would seem to me that a slave "posseses" their master, just as "ownership" is also about responsibility.

Even if this is just wordgames all people possess their own histories - the sum of their actions and subsequently their dignity and shame - regardless of the wordgames we play.

I would also think a slave possesses their collar whatever that means to you.

Personally for me in our life we all possess most of everything (or almost nothing as individuals) as our possessions are ultimately in service to the family. This comes from having a child.

(in reply to SassyBird)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 2:37:46 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Then what are of my blood are mine and I am theirs. I may be clan leader, but I belong to the clan first. Something my paternal Grandfather told me which I believe in strongly. Right or wrongly, I am a Clansman first. 

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 4:27:45 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
While you may lay claim to your Master when you gift him with your submission, you will never possess him. I am afraid one who considers such things as possessiveness may also have thoughts that may be jealous in nature; neither is desired by the dominant.


Hardly true of all.

Sure I feel possessive of our relationship and my place in his life. And he's very happy I do. It shows I care about him, I care enough about him to want to stay with him.

If I didn't care that we were in this relationship, it wouldn't be nearly as good as it is.

I'm not jealous because he doesn't make me feel insecure by pushing those buttons. But possessiveness and jealousy are two very different animals.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 4:28:17 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubbyheart

I just love how when anyone places a post, everyone else seems to think that it is a personalized question.

why do people have to over analyze things when someone asks a yes or no question... sigh


let's see. you came online to pose a hypothetical poorly worded question to a group of strangers that neither know you or have your interests at heart. whom you admonish when the responses aren't to your liking. then end your comments with a woe is me sigh. and you think we have the problem?

porcelaine


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RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 7:47:29 AM   
worthlesstrash


Posts: 114
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		Sheesh..you can tell it was too late at night when I answered the question..not sure it had anything to do with the OP 

I feel I possess my M, much in the same way he possesses me. What I mean is that when we made this commitment, yes..I gave myself over to him completely, but in return he gave himself over to me with the same promise.

No, I don't have the same exact type of ownership over him that he does me, but as his slave/wife..I do have certain rights and ownership over him also. Maybe that's because we are also married, so with that comes certain rights of trust, faithfulness..etc, that I might not have otherwise if it wasn't specified.

I think that's more what I mean...he can do what he likes in his life, but within the boundary of our commitment, whereas I have to go to him for permission when there are things I would like to do or things I need.

I hope that makes sense..not sure I am with it yet this morning or not though.


_____________________________

~anne

This girl is a slave, but she is also a woman full of love, life, and who has a ton of interests.
Don't judge a book by it's name, judge it by it's content..

His since 10/06/2006
SLRN 166-164-858

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 8:14:05 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubbyheart

can a submissive or a slave truely not have any possessiveness over anything in any way shape or form?

I ask this due to knowing that myself, claims "my Master" which in itself is claiming a possessiveness over Him. also, if a slave is allowed certain items to sleep on (blankets, furs, a little mat), regarless of knowing that they can be taken away is she/he is bad, they would come to claim those things as "their bed", which is also a possessive saying.
I'm not going to hit you too hard for your sarcastic, peevish comment to others about the way they chose to answer your poorly-worded question...seems as if my fellow posters have done a fairly good job of that already and I wouldn't want to pile on.  That said...

I've been involved in various D/s situations in which the level of possession on my part differed.  I've never wanted to own what any of my girls brought into the relationship...their car remained their car, their money remained their money, etc., etc..  On the other hand, if I bought something for them that was connected to the D/s dynamic, it was mine.  Be it a collar, a slave bracelet for their ankle, whatever.  But that is dealing with the physical, material things.  On the emotional and mental side, I've ranged from being the dominant they were involved with and looked to for information and some guidance---but only when asked for---to being their dominant whose guidance and leadership was not only sought but listened to and adhered to.  I've been their dominant who possessed their thoughts to a certain extent...while they might have a different view of how things should be done, they either adapted my way of thinking to theirs or they were gone.  This resulted in some interesting discussions but they knew it was my rules, not theirs...for the most part...i.e., hard limits were theirs to set, certain areas of their lives remained out of my control and were "theirs" to deal with.  Through the years, I have been more about owning them and not their things.  I have only become more so as I have gotten older. 
Now, to address what Acer and Wyld mentioned...sorry Acer, I go with Wyld.  I've not had a submissive yet who didn't feel at least a twinge of jealousy over the idea of my involvement with others.  And if you don't think that there are submissives who feel they have that right to keep, or possess, or take a dominant only unto themselves, take a look at how many submissive profiles state that not only will they not be loaned out---they don't want a dominant who wants to play with others either.  That is their preference and they have a right to express it, especially when they are intent on developing not just a D/s dynamic but a romantic relationship with their dominant.


(in reply to sweetsubbyheart)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 12:09:49 PM   
oceanwyndsLoves


Posts: 44
Joined: 9/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubbyheart

I just love how when anyone places a post, everyone else seems to think that it is a personalized question.

This is only hypethetical people.

More like a psycholigical possibility that while the general Ds 'protocol' states that a submissive or a slave cannot possess anything that is not given to them by their owner, we do automatically by human nature, so therefore it questions the whole statement.

why do people have to over analyze things when someone asks a yes or no question... sigh



I am a thinker by nature. I enjoy pulling apart a thought and looking at it in many directions, It is just a part of me. Answering Sir with yes or no, i can do, but in normal conversations or in this case posting, it would be too inviting to take things apart and think about it..

Only possession i own is myself, and Sir has that. Prior to Sir only possession i have is myself. This one will die by herself and take herself with her through the journey of death. i owe no one and never have. My this or that is not part of my everyday vocabulary.
oceanwynds

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 12:55:53 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i call Her my M'Lady but i belong to Her. the my is more a statement not a possessive i have pride in being Hers and proclaiming it by saying it.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 3:54:14 PM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		We don't play games (than it's only an attitude), so my husband/slave does not own anything. In fact, legally, he owns me money. I buy his clothes, give him money to buy our bread, take away what I want, throw things away, look in his wallet, computer... I own his copyright, can lent him out, change his agenda. But he can use a lot of things, just because it's practical. And I want him to be fit to serve me, so he's allowed to sleep and eat well.  But when it comes to buying something, I will decide (a house, car, clothes, his food in a restaurant...)

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RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/22/2009 4:24:25 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubbyheart

why do people have to over analyze things when someone asks a yes or no question... sigh

Oh. This is a 'Just Yes or No' game?

Okay. I'll start. You answer.

Have you stopped cheating on your Master yet?




Ok, that was quite clever. 10 NZ points to you.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/23/2009 12:05:26 AM   
redlux


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubbyheart

I just love how when anyone places a post, everyone else seems to think that it is a personalized question.

This is only hypethetical people.

More like a psycholigical possibility that while the general Ds 'protocol' states that a submissive or a slave cannot possess anything that is not given to them by their owner, we do automatically by human nature, so therefore it questions the whole statement.

why do people have to over analyze things when someone asks a yes or no question... sigh


because discussion is fun and treating a thread like a magic 8-ball, is not.

(in reply to sweetsubbyheart)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/23/2009 9:55:06 AM   
MissOllaria


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/18/2009
Status: offline 		I have cats...Have had them since before I knew Master existed.  However, they are only my cats, when they do something wrong.  I think most things are a matter of perception.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/23/2009 8:36:10 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		can a submissive or a slave truely not have any possessiveness over anything in any way shape or form?

It seems pretty extreme, but I suppose that it's possible.  That would be up to the people in the relationship.  Sir's & my relationship isn't like that.  Someone else's might be.

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: a submissive/slave's possessiveness - 9/23/2009 9:02:46 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
While you may lay claim to your Master when you gift him with your submission, you will never possess him. I am afraid one who considers such things as possessiveness may also have thoughts that may be jealous in nature; neither is desired by the dominant.


Hardly true of all.

Sure I feel possessive of our relationship and my place in his life. And he's very happy I do. It shows I care about him, I care enough about him to want to stay with him.

If I didn't care that we were in this relationship, it wouldn't be nearly as good as it is.

I'm not jealous because he doesn't make me feel insecure by pushing those buttons. But possessiveness and jealousy are two very different animals.


I agree with this completely.  In my relationship, I frequently refer to Him as "my Master."  If I'm playing around, with just Him around, I may put the emphasis differently, and say, "MY Master!" (like a kid would do with a new toy) and He laughs and says, "Of course, I'm yours."  I don't think that makes Him any less Dominant or any less "twue" to agree that He is mine because we have chosen to be with one another.  It just means that we have a sense of humor and don't have to follow the Rules contained in the Big Book of One Twue Wayism to have a successful relationship.

_____________________________

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Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 40
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