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Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/22/2009 2:14:05 PM

Lockit

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I was flipping channels the other day and saw a commercial for Househusbands of Hollywood. Of course a reality show. lol I thought... hum... I might need to watch that and see what they are up to. Well before I flipped the channel again, a show was starting. Then another and another and I think I watched about five programs. I believe it was on FX, but not sure.

As in most reality shows, I found this one to be no different. Superficial and dysfunctional relationships etc. But what I saw for the most part were men in a situation where they became the househusband rather than decided on the lifestyle or role reversal.

Have any of you seen the shows?

We have had threads on househusband type relationships, but I wanted to start another to talk about what we see as realistic about these relationships and what the fantasy might be about them. I know I posted in my journal about the show and what I thought and I got a number of emails from men asking about the show, wanting to know more and saying they were interested in being a househusband. What I see in the show is different than what we would have because of the d/s element. Maybe we will cover ground that has already been covered... I don't know, but seeing the interest and that there are new people around, I thought it might be interesting to go into it again.

Rather than talking of the desire to have this type of relationship, I would like to ask what each of us think a relationship like this would be like. Explain why you have an interest in it and why and you think it would be something you would like. If you have had these kinds of relationships, your input would be great to have!

Is it a fantasy in these economic times? Done only because of circumstance? An idealistic something or a reality? What would your dynamic's or way of doing it be?

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/22/2009 4:22:43 PM

AAkasha

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I basically have this kind of relationship. But in the 7 or 8 years I have had it with my husband, granted, his role has evolved from 100% domestic to about 60% domestic, 25% "working for me" (in my career, as an employee, doing things related to my business) and 15% part time work/hobby that keeps him out of the house completely for 12 hours a week or less. In the first few years though he was 100% domestic while I worked as a VP at a company. Now I am self employed and have my own business so I am at home, but he's still handling all the cooking, cleaning, domestic jobs and errands while also helping run my business.

Is it economically feasible? I think if the breadwinner has the right type of job AND both people have very reasonable living expenses, sure. However, we don't have kids, and that's a big reason we can afford it. I don't spend nearly the amount of money some women do, my age, on clothes, jewelry and sports cars and boats or other status symbols - so we live within our means in exchange for great freedom and flexibility.

It can be very practical if the man ENJOYS and is good at household tasks. But it takes the right kind of man, to be sure!!

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 9/22/2009 4:24:10 PM >

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Post #: 2

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/22/2009 5:46:01 PM

aidan

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I have an interest in it not only because I feel that Mistress' academic work is important and deserves Her full working attention, but because She really doesn't like cleaning and housework so I like to save Her that hardship.

I think it would look a lot like Akasha's relationship, where I spend most of my time keeping up our household, helping Mistress with Her work and spending time on my artistic career (spending a few weeks out of town doing shows, doing voice-work, writing...)

It's not something that's gonna happen for a long time, not only because we're not even living together right now (*sigh*) but because when we do move back together we're both going to be on huge upswings in our respective careers (fingers crossed!). But it's a reality I'd like to actualize someday.

Also, reality TV? The entire "genre"?

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/22/2009 6:21:56 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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Lockit,
I've seen one or two episodes of the show... I was attracted to the title for the potential consentual power exchange tilt, but the show did not have any unfortunately. Mostly I noticed one passive follower, who may or may not be happy about his predicament; the rest of the men, seemed a little resentful/hostile and struggling desperately to compete for control with their wives. I didn't like the show at all, and thought those men would be out of there if they were in the financially superior position. M

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Post #: 4

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/22/2009 7:26:30 PM

pinnipedster

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I might be able to manage as a househusband, for the right person. But I'd much rather be a housewife.... (In fact, being a live in housewife and plaything to a straight or lesbian couple might be my greatest somewhat realistic fantasy....)

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Post #: 5

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/22/2009 9:32:10 PM

Eivarden

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I haven't been a Househusband, but I wouldn't mind.

But I don't really put D/s into mind when I think about it.

I know they can go hand in hand for it.

But it's a matter of what ever works best between me and my partner.

Honestly, the only D/s element I've even heard of, to add to it, would be making the househusband wearing something specifically for his duties.

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 6

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 8:26:44 AM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

I might be able to manage as a househusband, for the right person. But I'd much rather be a housewife.... (In fact, being a live in housewife and plaything to a straight or lesbian couple might be my greatest somewhat realistic fantasy....)

If you are doing it out of obligation and reluctance the way this is phrased, as if the woman has to "deserve" it almost, then it's doomed from the start. Anything laced with subtle resentment or a type of compromise that seems to come with strings attached, when you apply it to literally the way you life your life (ie, househouseband - it's a lifestyle, not just a game for an hour) is dangerous to a relationship.

Also, if you put kink or CD as the hook also makes it about you, not her. The point of being a househusband is one of serving, not being served.

Akasha

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Post #: 7

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 9:11:49 AM

pinnipedster

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

If you are doing it out of obligation and reluctance the way this is phrased, as if the woman has to "deserve" it almost, then it's doomed from the start. Anything laced with subtle resentment or a type of compromise that seems to come with strings attached, when you apply it to literally the way you life your life (ie, househouseband - it's a lifestyle, not just a game for an hour) is dangerous to a relationship.

I'm not sure where you're getting the reluctance/resentment part. When I say "the right person" I just mean the factors have to be right:. To begin with, she would obviously have to have an income that supported us both. She would have to be someone who was happy about the arrangement -- not someone who just put up with it because I couldn't or wouldn't find another job. (Ideally, it would be at her initiation, not my suggestion.) And, yes, it would have to be someone I was happy about taking care of. You say it sounds as if she would have to "deserve" it -- well, why shouldn't it be someone I feel is worthy of my attentions? Should I be ready to reshape my life for anyone who happens to be female? That seems to be an attitude that many Dommes complain about -- except the Female Supremacists I suppose, but that's not a direction I would seriously take. I would want it to be an individual that I cared about, so that spending my life centered around her was genuinely satisfying.

quote:

Also, if you put kink or CD as the hook also makes it about you, not her. The point of being a househusband is one of serving, not being served.

Can't it be about both of us?

The relationship, like all relationships, needs to be a two-way street. Yes, a homemaker, male or female, is "serving" in a sense, but they are also being provided for. They have needs which are being addressed.

Now, I admit, in my own case, I find it much easier to maintain a service-oriented attitude when I am en femme than I do in male mode. That, I agree, may be a result of some kind of inherent sexism. Maybe I could be "trained" out of it. But if there were someone out there willing to indulge that side of me, or take advantage of it, in exchange for contented domestic service -- what's wrong with that?

< Message edited by pinnipedster -- 9/23/2009 9:12:58 AM >

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Post #: 8

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 10:25:50 AM

Lockit

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I've had different types of relationships with some coming close to being a househusband type and two that were a househusband. Having been the major bread earner a few times, there were challenges depending on how the man viewed himself in the beginging and later on. At first he may be okay with my earning more but the moment life threw challenges at us, he would personally find fault or thought that I was finding fault with him because he wasn't able to make more or be more, which wasn't the case at all. To be with a woman that makes more, whether there are d/s dynamic's or not, a man needs to be secure in himself... in my opinion. He can't feel like he is less or eventually there will be resentment on some level.

In my relationships where there was a typical role reversal for the time period, the men loved me, loved being close to home and didn't resent any factor or me. Mine had the option to work if they wanted to. One worked side jobs from home, but made me, us and home his priority. They enjoyed cooking and cleaning was a fact of life and easy to keep up with and because they had time to persue their own interest, education or whatever and they had time for it, plus I made sure they had enough money to do so if they weren't working or had a side job, they were fulfilled and happy. They didn't see things as if they were trapped or forced and instead felt they were very blessed to be with me who could make that kind of money and because they had lot's of free time to do what made them happy. They didn't feel trapped and unfulfilled and they had no problem with the ego trips society might try to impose upon them because they and we did things differently.

I didn't look at them as if they were less. They were valued big time! After all, they took care of my every whim... desire and need. I could be at work and crave a certain food and with a phone call, I had it. When I came home from work, everything was done and so my time off was spent with them, focused on them and us and our good times. There wasn't a great deal of fantasy involved... it was real, we viewed it as real and the way we did things, other's were envious of it and rethought a few things they viewed as normal.

Our way of life wasn't a result of kink. If there was a kinky need to fulfill in serving me or to get off to, to do the housework... I don't believe it would have worked as well. Because I sure wouldn't have been happy when they decided that I hadn't paid attention to the apron they did or didn't wear or how I didn't pay them in some kink service for their service. They were rewarded in that our relationship was able to be what it was becasue of what they did and in the great time for sex and great sex because those things were done and everything flowed naturally. They didn't do those things to get the great sex, they did them because they needed to be done and did them because everything worked best that way.

The relationships broke up for other reasons. One went on to take care of another woman in the same way and the other couldn't find someone to continue it with, but wanted to.

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Post #: 9

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 10:35:11 AM

Lockit

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Because of the relationships I had and the facts of life outside our relationships, I would never encourage someone to be a housewife or househusband without at least part time work and income. Why? Because of how social security works and how that leaves them vulnerable. Unless the person working actually paid into an account that would provide for their needs during or even after the relationships and it wouldn't cost them in a negative manner, then fine, if not... they must have current work hour credits and be paying into a retirement fund.

In my situation, the last one, I got sick. Oh boy... now we're in trouble. lol We didn't know what I now know in many things and we left ourselves open for disaster because of ignorance that I have found many have about social security and such. These are the very real facts that people must look at when they make a choice to have this type of relationship. We can't always just go on if it feels good, do it. We must be aware and prepared.

That can take a bit of the fantasy element out of a lot of things! lol

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 10:55:11 AM

Lashra

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I have not seen the shows because I rarely watch TV. Some of the shows I have attempted to watch just do not seem to have much "reality" to them.

Now on the subject of househusbands, I know a couple of them. These are men who decided along with their wives that since the wife made more money and was happier working outside of the home, that the husbands would be the homemaker/child care giver. Surpisingly enough these are vanilla couples! The men that I know love their househusband status and so does the rest of their family.

I think its done because people have decided to live their own lives and not allow society to dictate to them what role they have to take in their own relationships. I know there is a group in Washington DC made up entirely of stay at home dad's. They have play dates, cooking classes, recipe exchanges etc. They find this group very helpful as they are with understanding people who do harshly judge them for their lifestyle choice.

I have always been a believer in doing what makes you happy. So yay Househusbands.

~Lashra

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 12:07:23 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

Lockit,
I've seen one or two episodes of the show... I was attracted to the title for the potential consentual power exchange tilt, but the show did not have any unfortunately. Mostly I noticed one passive follower, who may or may not be happy about his predicament; the rest of the men, seemed a little resentful/hostile and struggling desperately to compete for control with their wives. I didn't like the show at all, and thought those men would be out of there if they were in the financially superior position. M

That is pretty much what I took from it all. In a later show they did start doing some talking about deeper things, but for the most part it was very superficail people, with very dysfunctional stuff going on. lol It might be funny if it weren't so sad. What shocked me was who was on the show. I can't give names as my memory is not working here... but damn... The one guy is damn hot though! The one who is a bit anal about things... but a damn fine daddy. He was about the only one I would take on. lol

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 12:14:05 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I believe his name was Grant, and yes he's a superb daddy to his little girl. What I found funny was when their little dog duke had ring worm, Jillian had no problem with the dog rubbing itself on every surface in site and when Grant got after the dog she was being like awww don't lay down the law on the little dog it's not like it's the plauge, and then when Grant pointed out that the dog had given HIM ring worm, she's like ewww don't come near me.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 9/23/2009 12:18:50 PM >

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Post #: 13

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 12:33:55 PM

Lockit

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Yes there were a number of times Jillian showed herself to be rather superficial and lacking in common sense! I felt bad for her husband a few times! lol I always liked her humor and how smart she was... as I have watched her before she got real big... but now... there isn't much I can find that is worth watching her now. Now... Grant... I would be tempted to give an arm for to have one like him! lol

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 12:57:34 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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I actually read somewhere that she is an educated/smart woman, but I think because of having to shut that side of her down for so long to be the sexy blond on different TV shows (extreme dating gross), she has actually become dumb. I enjoyed reading about her, but I don't enjoy watching her on tv at all. M

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The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 1:04:56 PM

OttersSwim

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

Can't it be about both of us?

The relationship, like all relationships, needs to be a two-way street. Yes, a homemaker, male or female, is "serving" in a sense, but they are also being provided for. They have needs which are being addressed.

My advice is to not make your fetish a condition of service or relationship. Make Her your focus, and she will make sure you get what you want too.

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 1:08:25 PM

malloves69

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boy i bet that would be wonderfull indeed

to serve her 24/7 would be a joy and a honor i think ...would love to try it sometimes and yes its ok if she wears the cock in the relationship

how do you want me sexy lady on a nitely basis would be HOT i think

have fun mal

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 3:42:13 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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The concept for the show was that the men stayed home and did everything home and kid related plus what ever else the wifer was to busy to take care ofand the women worked, and some of these guys never get to see their wives or do much in the way of wife and husband time because the women are so busy being productive.

If the women works all day it's not going to be serving her 24/7 at least not in the sexy way most think it would be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: malloves69

boy i bet that would be wonderfull indeed to serve her 24/7 would be a joy and a honor i think ...would love to try it sometimes and yes its ok if she wears the cock in the relationship how do you want me sexy lady on a nitely basis would be HOT i think have fun mal

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Post #: 18

RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 3:51:15 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Lockit the one thing that strikes me the most is that Jullian was like sure honey handle everything here's the reigns you stay home I'll go to work and when he tried she balked and over reacted. And then she's hurt when their daughter likes Daddy more, since mommy is never around.

Some of these women snipe pretty hard at their husbands for stupid stuff and they're pretty vapid, like one women got some puppies and she makes no effort to potty train them, but yet she'll complain the house smells like a toilet because the dogs pee and poop EVERYWHERE and then when told "well you could clean up the dogs messes" she says no that's not my job.

That husband is just brow beat he can't get his kids to do diddly shit, he can't get his wife to do diddly shit, and on top of that the wife's forced him into doing all the busy work for the new teen beauty product line she's launching.

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RE: Househusbands of Hollywood - 9/23/2009 8:55:45 PM

littlesarbonn

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I could easily see myself adapting to being a househusband, as that type of lifestyle would be very comfortable to me. But it wouldn't be because of any specific fantasy. I think that would somewhat cheapen it for me. I wouldn't mind doing this if this made her life easier, and mine more complete by being the man she needs and wants me to be. But in the end, I think what will happen for me is to find a woman who is looking for someone who contributes to the household in the older fashion way (just because women in general tend to be apprehensive about any guy that is from the opposite of societal norms...it's just that way). So I figure I'll probably end up being a househusband to a working woman, while working myself as well. My pleasure would generate from her happiness, so this would work well for me. It would at least be worth a try.

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Post #: 20

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