RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 10:57:26 PM

ownedgirlie

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If a submissive is uncertain in her own submission and uncertain in the relationship and uncertain about her future....yet knows she has a need to submit...

she needs to be reeled in. she needs to know you're going to call her on it. she needs to trust that you will be strong when she is not. If you let her dangle, she will lose faith, and become even more uncertain.

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 3:24:27 AM

fastlane

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Thank you all for all of the replies. They were all very good and what I'm learning is that the only real problem here is one too many miles between us, that disrupt our energy flow at times and leave me second guessing my own persuit of happiness with her. However, I will add that it only takes a tele conversation to re-inforce that the wait, the apprehension of a LDR and the slow dance in between are all worth the effort!
So, Fastlane grabs his helmet, whip and nuts in hand and sez "Thanks!"

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Post #: 22

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 6:50:18 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Thank you all for all of the replies. They were all very good and what I'm learning is that the only real problem here is one too many miles between us, that disrupt our energy flow at times and leave me second guessing my own persuit of happiness with her. However, I will add that it only takes a tele conversation to re-inforce that the wait, the apprehension of a LDR and the slow dance in between are all worth the effort!
So, Fastlane grabs his helmet, whip and nuts in hand and sez "Thanks!"

Sits down with Her coffee ---

Dear Kevin--There are no glib or trite answers for distance--we here have had many posts regarding LDR's and the things to do, and not do--they are all good recommendations don't get Me wrong, but in the end, Your greatest enemy here is the mind---and that is the thing You need to harness, both hers and Yours--IMHEO, it matters not whether is it is 1000 or 10,000, distance makes the mind play tricks--but it is the task of BOTH to keep the distance small and the connection strong---the task is not Yours alone--and it takes work--no it takes commitment--IM's emails, chats, old fashioned letters--COMMUNICATION--and it must be OPEN--from " I'm having cramps today and I'm grumpy" to "the kids had a school play last night and it was this xxx"---Vanilla life and activities become the ties that bind during those periods--(the boy and I talked about his new frying pan last night!)--

and the darkness before the dawn is the hardest when need is greatest--and loneliness is magnified---things to touch and see can help---

but it is the mind that will be Y/your enemy or Y/your friend--and it takes work on both sides.

so if your submissive is on this site and reads this post, may these words reach her as well--a rope is made up of strands, no single strand gives us strength--but strand after strand braided together does. Take a piece if rope, cut it in two and send her the other piece.

Hugs

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 7:47:01 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: chercher
Apologies all round,

I know I have no business on this thread. I sound and feel a lot like the submissive described in the original post. I am not quite sure who I am or what I want...because my experience is so limited. I can absolutely say that - understanding that it may be easier said than done...Mr D's response got my attention, and my longing.

Be well,

CherCher

It was the part about grabbing his helmet and whip that got you didn't it? It gets everyone.

For me it was the giggle berries. Never heard that expression before!

Good luck Fastlane!

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Post #: 24

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 7:51:30 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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You can thank a recent rash of Austin Powers movies on cable for that one, blushes. Yeah baby, yeah. Do I make you horny, baby? Do I make you randy?

...ahem <cough> Sorry, it just tends to slip out once in a while.

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Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

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Post #: 25

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 11:02:59 AM

LthrdWolf

Posts: 92
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Sits down with Her coffee ---

Dear Kevin--There are no glib or trite answers for distance--we here have had many posts regarding LDR's and the things to do, and not do--they are all good recommendations don't get Me wrong, but in the end, Your greatest enemy here is the mind---and that is the thing You need to harness, both hers and Yours--IMHEO, it matters not whether is it is 1000 or 10,000, distance makes the mind play tricks--but it is the task of BOTH to keep the distance small and the connection strong---the task is not Yours alone--and it takes work--no it takes commitment--IM's emails, chats, old fashioned letters--COMMUNICATION--and it must be OPEN--from " I'm having cramps today and I'm grumpy" to "the kids had a school play last night and it was this xxx"---Vanilla life and activities become the ties that bind during those periods--(the boy and I talked about his new frying pan last night!)--

and the darkness before the dawn is the hardest when need is greatest--and loneliness is magnified---things to touch and see can help---

but it is the mind that will be Y/your enemy or Y/your friend--and it takes work on both sides.

so if your submissive is on this site and reads this post, may these words reach her as well--a rope is made up of strands, no single strand gives us strength--but strand after strand braided together does. Take a piece if rope, cut it in two and send her the other piece.

Hugs

This post was to Kevin,but I also appreciate these (well articulated,as are alot of your posts) thoughts too - so Thank you.

LthrdWolf

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 11:51:12 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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quote:

the boy and I talked about his new frying pan last night!)--

Yes, this is what I am talking about! It is the simple quiet conversations that will strengthen your long distance relationship. If it were all commands and playtime (Using webcam, IM's and telephone) then how rounded would your relationship be? I love talking to my pup about his day, how his classes went, what he is having for dinner, where he will be going that night, what he will be watching on tv, if anything. I share with him my day, how it went at work, what I thought about during the day, ect..Hardly do we ever talk about sex. Oh don't get me wrong, there are plenty of flirting and sexual inuendos from both of us <g>
Good luck to you Kevin, it sounds like you already know what you need to do.

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 2:48:30 PM

SimplyV

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

You can thank a recent rash of Austin Powers movies on cable for that one, blushes. Yeah baby, yeah. Do I make you horny, baby? Do I make you randy?

...ahem <cough> Sorry, it just tends to slip out once in a while.

Hmm.. I don't think I've been reading Mr D's posts enough... or maybe not in the right light.. Mmm sense of humor.. Now how did I miss that?

*ponders the universe and flying fish*

V

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Post #: 28

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 3:11:02 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

Hmm.. I don't think I've been reading Mr D's posts enough... or maybe not in the right light.. Mmm sense of humor.. Now how did I miss that?

*ponders the universe and flying fish*

He really does have some good posts. I particularly like his rating scale.

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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 4:53:40 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

quote:

Hmm.. I don't think I've been reading Mr D's posts enough... or maybe not in the right light.. Mmm sense of humor.. Now how did I miss that?

*ponders the universe and flying fish*

He really does have some good posts. I particularly like his rating scale.

Rating scale? Dang have I been sleeping? Why didn't someone wake me?

*hunts down her boys*

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 7:39:19 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Rating scale?..humm..that does sound interesting..however I particularly liked the part of hauling her ass to the carpet..Now there is a fantasy worth thinking on!..Mr D definitely made me blink twice......sigh......Tempting.

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 7:41:25 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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To Fastlane...you are overanalyzing it....follow your instincts....be well..Tempting

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Post #: 32

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/2/2006 8:20:03 PM

MasterBuckeye

Posts: 43
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: OHIO
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I'm kinda curious, you don't state what the relationship is. Are you her Master, Lover, Teacher, or what. If you are her Master, then she should have been aware from the start that your Rules are the Rules, period. However, if you have waivered from this, then you need to first, change your mindset, to Master again, and reset and stick to the rules that you had or have made. You will regain her respect by doing this, and you will also let her know that the mixed signals she is giving you are not going to be tolerated either. Be honest with her, just like at the initial interview, when things are established. Be fair, and give her the out, and stick to your guns. I applaud you for being Man enough to ask for help, that is a big step for any Master/Dom. Good Luck! MB

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

I prefer that you all love me, but , to tolerate is good enough .Just don't be HATE'N...LOL... Question is?

How do you deal with a submissive that is giving you mixed signals? Tolerate her, call her on the carpet, dump her ass and move on, give her alternatives, set ground rules...become totally Dominant and put the potential relationship at risk because you demand too much, be patient...and wait and wait and wait, or just say hell with women/subs/potential collars and lifelong partners...new day, new lap dance, new laptop computer, new expectations?

I dunno...I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit confused....I need my Master Pills!

Thanks for allowing me the rant, Kevin

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"IGNORANCE CAN BE CURED WITH EDUCATION; BUT STUPIDITY IS HOPELESS!"

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RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/3/2006 1:49:52 AM

ayasha

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Joined: 12/10/2005
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one thinks it can depend on how long You have known her, her past experience, why she is giving mixed signals.

If she is new to the lifestyle she is probably going through the phase of is this right for me, am i doing the right thing, etc. If she has no past experience then one would be a bit patient with her, if she says she has been owned before, says she has a lot of experience - then one would say she is a player.

If she is new to the lifestyle, maybe she is just not ready for a committment yet but does not know how to say it, wants it in one way but wants to spend more time learning and exploring in another way.

Go with what You can live with, what Your gut tells You to do.

Wishing You all the best,

~ ayasha ~

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Post #: 34