Gauge
Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005 Status: offline
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Since I have recently been accused of being a conspiracy theory monger... I figured I would give it a shot. The government never intended you to think in terms of BDSM when viewing the Addams Family and Scooby Doo. What was intended was to desensitize the American public to creatures living among us. Odd creatures. In fact, some hideous. This is all part of an ongoing cover-up that is allowing aliens from outer space to live, work and breed on Earth. The government had to do something after the spaceship landing in Roswell to make the American public receptive to these aliens. The best way at that time was television. I know about the aliens. I have exposed several that live around me and have interacted with me. The only way I have found to tell if the person is an alien is to go up to them and lick their nipples. Perhaps a small bite. You then watch their reaction. If they recoil in shock and demand that someone call the police to have you hauled off to jail, you have exposed an alien. If that does happen, the best way to elude them is to run away and hide in a McDonald's garbage dumpster. The police are aware of the aliens and will want to put you away in jail for your methods of exposing them... but I encourage each and every one of you to test my theory. Try this tomorrow at work. Walk up to your boss, who you more than likely think is an alien anyway, and expose the alien to your co-workers. Your co-workers will be so happy because they have been saved from alien influence, they might actually visit you in jail. Don't count on that though... the aliens are clever and will stand around the water cooler telling the story to everyone. The water cooler is not a water cooler at all... it is a cathartic influx chamber that emits sub-audible precognitive suggestions. I really shouldn't tell you any more than I already have. If it gets out that I am educating others in this... well, I don't have to tell you what will happen to me. I will be forced to go hunting with Dick Cheney. They walk among us. The Truth Is Out There
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"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.
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