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Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 9:03:08 AM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		i've been involved in this lifestyle for about 7 months. Recently i was collared for training by a Dom Who is also very new to this lifestyle. i'm told He is going through Dom frenzy, feeling overwhelmed, doing some absent minded things like locking Himself out of His apartment. i want to help Him in any way i can.

Many of you are far more experienced than i. Have you encountered this? If so, what did you do to help your Dom through this time? Help Him feel more grounded. Thank you much.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 9:06:35 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most of all just talk to him. Ask him if he's noticed this. Make suggestions for things like keeping to a good eating and sleeping schedule. And before you walk out the door together do a checklist "Got keys? phone? pda? gloves? Good."

I know it's horrific to think of you helping to manage HIS time and energy better- but just think of it as another service you can provide.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 9:21:09 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		We have days, too. Especially if we're ADD! LOL

Dom frenzy is not uncommon...and it really doesn't have to be about being Dominant at all. When we find ourselves in a new, freeing postion (say, just divorced), we can go through a phase. It will depend on your Dom's personality as to how long the phase will last. Just be patient and act as a personal assistant. LOL

Fire
God, I have being vanilla again....but the price we pay for changing our user name. ;-)

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 11:30:10 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I have a lousy memory for the little things and any girl of mine will come in useful in that way. It isn't her organising me, it is her helping me to keep things organised.

I'm the worlds worst at remembering names, or phone numbers or peoples birthdays and the like. If it ain't on my main calander, it WON'T get remembered! So if I'm off somewhere else and not near my main calander.........

What you describe is a bit more than that but essentialy you are doing the same thing.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 11:34:28 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Have you encountered this? If so, what did you do to help your Dom through this time? Help Him feel more grounded.


Tell him to smile and laugh.

When he gets to the point that during "knife play" while you are tied up and blindfolded, he says; "whoops". Then you feel a warm thick liquid on your body where you just felt the "knife" tip. You scream, so he takes off the blindfold and you see he was using the "sharp" tip of a chocolate fudge sauce dispenser fresh from being warned by the micro-wave. You look in his face and see a sadistic grin and you'll know - he's confident and "grounded".

Have fun!

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 11:43:49 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
You look in his face and see a sadistic grin and you'll know - he's confident and "grounded".

Have fun!

The problem isn't that he's not confident and grounded as a top- the problem is that he's getting overwhelmed by all the new fun-ness and not functioning as well in the real world life sense.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 12:15:17 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		Oh my!

I read the subject line of this post and an odd image came to mind:

Master Archer sitting on the bed in the bedroom with the door closed...pouting because he wasn't allowed to go outside to play...'grounded'.

HeeHeeHee

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 12:24:56 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

Oh my!

I read the subject line of this post and an odd image came to mind:

Master Archer sitting on the bed in the bedroom with the door closed...pouting because he wasn't allowed to go outside to play...'grounded'.

HeeHeeHee


Yes, me too. I was expecting a rant about how a dom had misbehaved and the sub was looking for ways to punish him. LOL

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 12:43:16 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

Oh my!

I read the subject line of this post and an odd image came to mind:

Master Archer sitting on the bed in the bedroom with the door closed...pouting because he wasn't allowed to go outside to play...'grounded'.

HeeHeeHee


It shows how one's background can affect an image. Mine was a man with a leather vest and a whip belt with a metal band on his wrist connected to a cold water pipe




_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 2:37:38 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Well little lady? are you going to get over your shyness to tell these good folks one of those 'little things' I forgot, or not?

I've even posted this opening for you so folks won't think your trying to embarass me (Which is neigh on impossible to do anyhow )

(Trying to coax a lurker into posting folks, just bare with me, she's worth it, but a bit shy)

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 2:55:08 PM   
Bstardsbitch


Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline 		ok lol.......

my friend ? above me here.forgot to mention in his last post...he also forgets to wear underwear when shopping for jeans.....now theres a sight to behold....

are ya happy Raven??

now back to lurking lol

xxx

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 2:58:54 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Yep one of the little things when your going jeans shopping is not to be uptown before remembering that it just isn't done to try on jeans whilst commando!

Could have done with having a girl to remind me of that BEFORE I left the house... oh well at least I got the rest of what I went up for.

See sweetie, that wasn't so bad now was it. Absolutely nothing to be shy about *g*

And no, I don't play fair... I never claimed that I did

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Bstardsbitch)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 3:22:45 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Yep one of the little things when your going jeans shopping is not to be uptown before remembering that it just isn't done to try on jeans whilst commando!



Good thing we know the style and size of jeans that Master Archer always wears!


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 3:37:38 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant
Good thing we know the style and size of jeans that Master Archer always wears!


I lost two stone during the latter part of last year so its a new size and I may as well have a look at what styles are around since last time I looked

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 4:14:09 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

I lost two stone during the latter part of last year so its a new size and I may as well have a look at what styles are around since last time I looked



wow..thats a lot! (28 lbs for those who know not what a 'stone' is).

Master Archer has been wearing the same style of jeans since he was a young whippersnapper. (is that good or bad?)


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 4:22:14 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

Master Archer has been wearing the same style of jeans since he was a young whippersnapper. (is that good or bad?)



ummmm Elegant are you saying your Ummm Master hasn't um filled out his pants as he reached Adulthood? *W*


I am so sorry to hear this... Obviously you love him for his Keen Mine..... a very keen mine he has indeed!

so do you um grow cucumbers??? lol

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 4:28:28 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive

i've been involved in this lifestyle for about 7 months. Recently i was collared for training by a Dom Who is also very new to this lifestyle. i'm told He is going through Dom frenzy, feeling overwhelmed, doing some absent minded things like locking Himself out of His apartment. i want to help Him in any way i can.

Many of you are far more experienced than i. Have you encountered this? If so, what did you do to help your Dom through this time? Help Him feel more grounded. Thank you much.



Communicate... Patience... He will go at his pace! Be mindful to assist where you see that you can be useful. Ask questions not to challenge but to offer ways to help him. Seek clairfication... the communication between the two of you will help more than you realize. especially if your communciation is very focused on specific topics etc. and not jumping for unrelated thoughts etc.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 5:59:22 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant
wow..thats a lot! (28 lbs for those who know not what a 'stone' is).


Thanks for the conversion...as for jean shopping commando...no, it's just not done. But, it can make for some interesting changing room action.

Heck, the jean shopping can always wait another day!

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 6:05:24 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

When he gets to the point that during "knife play" while you are tied up and blindfolded, he says; "whoops". Then you feel a warm thick liquid on your body where you just felt the "knife" tip. You scream, so he takes off the blindfold and you see he was using the "sharp" tip of a chocolate fudge sauce dispenser fresh from being warned by the micro-wave. You look in his face and see a sadistic grin and you'll know - he's confident and "grounded".


ooooh - LOL - what a great idea! Thanks to A/all W/who have contributed. i'm happy to help remind Him of anything He needs. Time will take care of the rest, me thinks.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Grounding a new Dom - 3/2/2006 9:46:52 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

ummmm Elegant are you saying your Ummm Master hasn't um filled out his pants as he reached Adulthood? *W*


I am so sorry to hear this... Obviously you love him for his Keen Mine..... a very keen mine he has indeed!

so do you um grow cucumbers??? lol


same style..not same size! He wore 29 x 36 when we met 8 years ago...he's now 31 x 36...HUGE...grin

He's peachy keen!


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 20
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