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JonasTellas -> RE: Foot worshipping Dom (10/12/2009 2:34:32 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
quote:
So to say it in other ways, whatever your doms preferences are that are related to his dominance, you are to have no opinion? Is that what you mean? I follow you, but what if a doms preference was to start becoming more domineering and abusive? What if the doms preference was to start binge drinking because he can and he's the dom? What if his preference was to start serving you? What if a doms preference was to start catering to his submissive so that she ends up being served by him? As a woman who is submissive, are you going to say your feelings about your dom turning submissive should not matter because it's his "preference"? His behavior is going to have consequences, or at least they should. He should know that if he wants to keep his sub happy, he is going to have to conduct himself in a way that's going to keep subs. If I give myself to him and he starts conducting his actions like someone else, or something else, then there's going to be a problem. How he acts, what he does affects me,period. And I hold him to a standard too. Maybe I'm not understanding you but it seems you feel it's not your right to judge his dom preferences. But honestly, if he all of a sudden turned submissive on you, you would be fine with that? If this is true, then is it right to assume you care about just being in a relationship with your dom regardless of what he decides to do? I don't know,but for me, if my dom started to act submissive to me, kiss my feet, cater to my needs,I would leave him. I'm looking to serve, not be served. But that's just me.
Welcome to the fray, Jonas! Headgear, flamesuits, and padded gloves are on the shelf to your right, and there's cold water/ sports drinks in the fridge... [:D]
Now, to your posts. IMO, the big conflict here seems to be between those who seek to define "dominance" through some arbitrary list of pre-defined "Domly" and "submissive" acts; and those who see any act within the context of the dynamic in which it occurs. Rather big disconnect.
No one is saying that a Dom's (or sub's) actions cannot destroy the dynamic in any number of ways, or that the actions of a Dom aren't judged by His sub within their relationship. The argument is that some here seem to think that there is a specific list of acts that are so inherently "UnDomly", that they will erode and eventually detroy any D/s dynamic, no matter the context. Personally, I think that is horseshit, but others disagree.
Tnks! I certainly have a list of what behavior I'd view as un-submissive like: giving orders, disciplining someone, spanking someone. I also have a list of acts I consider not Dom-like: kissing feet, bowing, playing an adult baby, etc. What's the big deal with my perspective? I do wonder who is saying I'm wrong for having a list? I respect a person if they have a list of things they wouldn't accept in a Dom and it doesn't have to match my list. All I care about is how I view my dom and if he started behaving like a submissive on me, I would leave him in a ny minute. Kissing feet, cleaning, back rubbing, bowing - those are all my acts as a submissive, my dom doesn't need to do the feet kissing or bowing or cleaning. He can beat my feet, yes, and he has beaten them, but kiss my feet in adoration? Uh, no thank you, my dom won't do that ever and that is one behavior that would make me question what's going on.
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