RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics

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MartinP -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 12:54:30 PM)
Creative, for my avatar, google Corsica. For the "white knight": nice try to put me in an handy box, but since I have no plan to help women who may or may not want to be helped, I must decline the honour. But since it is a free forum, I do not see the point of being politically correct and saying amen to guys who boast of injuring women just because they can. I call a spade a spade and a manure shovel a manure shovel. It is called freedom of expression, and if you do not like it... Agree or disagree with me, but do not tell me what I have to say. In any case, the ones who cannot stand the heat should stay out of the kitchen. On this forum, like in politics back home, the extremists tend to occupy the center stage and they are so mad when they are challenged. Well guys, you better have something better in store than your authority argument.

lovingpet -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:14:43 PM)
Golly gosh, Martin. Who's mad? They simply disagree. I will further state that it is not just the people in dominant roles who may be inclined to do so. I think the big mistake comes in when people assume that these "horrible" things cannot be the ways in which these couples both communicate and understand affection best. I had a very heavy scene a few months ago. It wasn't so much that things got extreme in a physical way necessarily, though some might argue they did. It was more several mental ledges we were playing on at the time. One of them was that he stopped for dreadfully long between each and every cane stroke he administered and asked me if I wanted another one, not in a threatening tone, but genuinely asking if I desired it. He further would toy around placing the cane on different areas and asking me if I wanted it in this place or that or the other place. I was well beyond anything he had ever seen me take, which meant that I was well beyond anything I had EVER taken and he knew that as well. My answer remained yes until HE decided HE was done. He asked me afterwards why I kept saying yes even though I clearly wanted to say no and really by all rights could have said no at any point beyond that and he would have been very pleased with my efforts. I told him very simply that I knew there was love in each and every one of those cane strokes and I wanted to accept all of the love and tenderness he wanted to offer me. I also said that it meant to me that he really got me and knew that I both needed and wanted this on some level and did not reject me for it. My need and hunger did not repulse him. I will be honest, I had a little difficulty dealing with looking at the results in the mirror the next morning and my mind still swirls from that night on occasion to this very day, but it does not change that this is how we communicate such things as love, affection, desire, acceptance, and so much more. Some would argue we need to learn to communicate in other more "healthy" ways. We do that as well, but there is something special in the bond that comes from sharing this "terrible" thing that nothing else quite touches upon. I really don't care how repulsive it is to others. I find it to be an expression filled with tender loving kindness and one that has me overflowing with joy at experiencing it. lovingpet

RCdc -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:34:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness lols ... love you both ... though now I do have most of a mouthful of tea across my monitor huggles da princess the.dark.

justagirlinzh -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:36:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MartinP Creative, for my avatar, google Corsica. For the "white knight": nice try to put me in an handy box, but since I have no plan to help women who may or may not want to be helped, I must decline the honour. But since it is a free forum, I do not see the point of being politically correct and saying amen to guys who boast of injuring women just because they can. I call a spade a spade and a manure shovel a manure shovel. It is called freedom of expression, and if you do not like it... Agree or disagree with me, but do not tell me what I have to say. In any case, the ones who cannot stand the heat should stay out of the kitchen. On this forum, like in politics back home, the extremists tend to occupy the center stage and they are so mad when they are challenged. Well guys, you better have something better in store than your authority argument. Did you take a wrong turn on the www and not realise you're on a BDSM site?

Justme696 -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:43:01 PM)
It is good to have your own opinion. I respect that. But soemtimes different opinions get their ass kicked if you are the minority. Surely most of us have been there. Take a deep breath and let it be....you still have your opinion.....and a fight less next time it is someone else ..perhaps I am, not the right one to tell this.

DemonKia -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:46:07 PM)
Awww, lovingpet, that was lyrical. Thanks . .. . . & it pried loose this: My sado & my maso selves are so well integrated that I tend to forget / overlook that there can be a lot of baggage around engaging in sadomasochistic activities . . . . . Okay. The reason that I'm a 'reasonably well-integrated sadomasochist' is because my sadist self lives with the maso part that needs / wants / desires the pain to such a sometimes all-consuming degree, there's a visceral understanding of the balance the two make . . .. . Those who only lean one way or the other can have a lot more struggle around feeling 'bad' (for whatever reason) about their desires -- so big kudos to all the well-adjusted sadists & masochists (&, yeah, all you other sadomasochists, too) around here! & I consider myself an 'ethical sadist', safely sublimating my less-than-social tendencies into relatively safe activities with absolutely consenting (I prefer they beg for a while, actually) masochists . . . . . . I have all kinds of limits, & I prefer to move gradually in expanding the diversity, scope, & intensity of pain play, as a top. Ideally, the pain-bottom is having to cope with their own impatience in the process, wanting more at the end of each session. My inner sadist likes that. After all, the meanest thing a sadist can say to a maso's request for pain is 'no' . . .. . . . But. Big big but. 'Sadist' is a 'bad word'. Or, it must have 'ironic inflection'. Or you must not really mean those things, it's just posturing. & being a 'fun, safe, BDSM sadist' certainly does not include that! lol & same for 'masochist' . . .. . . & what makes it the funnier / weirder / surreal-er for me is to step back & look at how much sadomasochistic stuff is buried in 'vanilla' life. Um, athletics pretty much wouldn't exist without a human capacity to get pleasure out of pain . . . . . & surgeons. Surgeons. They were a huge model for me of what safely sublimated sadism looks like in a fancy-schmancy emulatable version. (As in, all those urgings that one should grow up to be a doc, not home surgery . . . . lol) The causing of grievous bodily wounds in the service of healing sickness & injury. Even taking the patient to the brink of death to effect cure, or even significant symptomatic relief . . .. . It's not really 'polite' to discuss this like so, but the dynamic is discernible under the surface . . .. I could go on, but . . . . There are virtually no absolute-goods, nor absolute-bads, in this madhouse of a universe, except in the minds of the trollishly inclined, me thinks . ... . . .

IronBear -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:48:38 PM)
On the time I have been here, I like a goodly number of posters have watch such "White Knights" appear, mouth off even stupid enough to make personal attacks all without any knowledge of things here or the people they are farting at and reasonably quickly have been cut down to size. Some have grown up and started to act in an adult manner and become valued posters whilst others have disappeared like a pigeon fart. Nebbish is what I call them. (Nebbish = Hebrew word meaning amongst other things a sad sack or a non person). Time will tell.

LaTigresse -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:52:58 PM)
Ohhhhhhhhhhh thank you IB! I love learning new words for boring old slams.

Justme696 -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:54:44 PM)
That is true also. Although personal attacks is not limited to new people only. The truth lies often somewhere in the middle ( not sure if this saying excist in English too) lol sad sack...way better then non-person

LaTigresse -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:56:24 PM)
I used to be a White Knight........... and then I went and got the cure.

OrionTheWolf -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:58:31 PM)
~FR~ LOL. Oh my sides are hurting. Read the latest reply from our Knight in Shining armor to my girl, you know the one he called anorexic. Well she said "Yep definately pussy whipped and now he is trying to rationalize it." I finally told her that was enough commentary, but it was still damn funny. What is so hypocritical is he calls me out for talking about backhanding her, and then in the next sentence calls her anorexic. Gee what a great guy. Love it when people show exactly how they are, with their own words. Now back to the OP: I think everyone has said much about physical limits, and some emotional/mental limits have been very vaguely mentioned. I probably have more lines there that I decide to not cross than I do in the physical realm. My girl has slight PTSD something, and when I see it coming on, everything stops and she is held and soothed until it passes. My girl also used to have a problem with severe anxiety and some depression, so I also keep an eye out for those signs, so that it can be addressed as well. It is much more difficult to prepare for emotional limits, and deal with them, than any physical limits.

mnottertail -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 1:59:40 PM)
Never backhand an anorexic, they will choke on their own blood. RwandanMaster

LaTigresse -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 2:00:39 PM)
I thought that was a vegan.

IronBear -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 2:17:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MartinP I do not backhand, or slap anybody, I leave that gameplay to chivalresque effetes like you. If I hit, it is first, if possible by surprise and with the aim of immediatly putting the other side down. This makes me roar with laughter and took me some time to clean my brandy my monitor screen during the night. here in Australia what this nebbish has described in great detain as to how he punches someone is called a King Hit and is considered as the true mark of a cowardly dingo with a wide yellow streak down his back. I've watched men in outback pubs get damned nearly lynched for that and certainly tarred and feathered. Just as well he doesn't come here we'd have no time for him.

OrionTheWolf -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 2:30:21 PM)
I have no issue with that comment of his, as I believe in this day and age, it is a valid tactic. What I mean by that, is in the many street fights I have been in, as the years go by, it seems opponents want to kick you in the face, back, and abdomen after you are down. Kicking so much that it could hospitalize or kill you. Was caught like that once, by three guys that were using me as a football (soccer for us Americans), and that changed my entire outlook on physical conflict. I now go for any tactical advantage I can gain, including eye gouge, groan grabs, and even biting to make sure I stay in one piece. Once someone crosses a line that may require physical conflict, I look at them as an enemy, and treat them accordingly. Anyway, this is off the OP, my apologies.

Justme696 -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 2:31:36 PM)
offtopic also fighting is survival..everything goes

DesFIP -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 2:32:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Nebbish is what I call them. (Nebbish = Hebrew word meaning amongst other things a sad sack or a non person). Yiddish IB, not Hebrew. Yiddish was the common language spoken by European Jewry as opposed to Ladino being the common language spoken by Spanish Jewry. Interesting side note, when a new translation of Cervantes was done in the last 50 years, it was discovered that there was no scholar of that variety of Spanish who could easily and correctly translate it. They found speakers of Ladino were the best at translating the old Spanish into modern day English.

mnottertail -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 2:32:55 PM)
Extreme BDSM & Ethical fighting!!!!! Available in DVD......only three payments of...

IronBear -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 2:36:00 PM)
In a street fight or pub donnybrook I agree but then I'm more used to doing such things where it is legitimate to go for kill shots anyway. However the bloke didn't stipulate that he only comment that when he punches another male. Still we'll probably never know and aya back to the OP's OP. Strewth, where's Dr Phill when you need him [:D]

OrionTheWolf -> RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics (10/7/2009 2:43:14 PM)
Well my anorexic has a mean elbow, which a customer of her's discovered (she is a dancer), and now that I have taught her a few different ways to get a wrist lock on someone, she made this one big guy cry a little (pain was so bad his eyes teared up before she let him go, and security took care of it). My girl is a slave, and is my property, but anyone that thinks she is defenseless is making a serious tactical mistake. Also, slapping can be dangerous, as DES pointed out, because you can accidentally strike them in the eye or even across the ear and cause permanent and serious damage. This is why on the rare occasions my property requires punishment, she is restrained so my strikes go exactly where I want them to go. quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Never backhand an anorexic, they will choke on their own blood. RwandanMaster

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