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A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 6:27:30 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		rather confused me, actually.

It starts off with "Hi, my name is X" and ends with "Sincerely, Y" ... So there are two vastly different names that the person is claiming in his profile - and then he starts complaining in his journal entries about how he hasn't found anyone on the site that is "real about the lifestyle" ... so my question is this: How seriously would you take someone who can't even decide what his own name is?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 6:43:40 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		One name being what it actually is... the other being what they prefers to go by or what others call them?

Edited to add: Master doesn't use his first given name either. He uses both, depending on who he's dealing with. It was months before I knew his real given name.. was a little of a shock. I like it.. he doesn't, there for don't use it.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 3/4/2006 6:45:10 AM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
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RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 6:45:41 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, I get that theory - but with no explination whatsoever, would sure throw up some red flags for me if he messaged. Could be why he's having trouble finding people that are "for real" ...

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 6:46:30 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I use another name on another board and sometimes catch myself starting to type one when it should be the other. Might just be an innocent slip.

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 6:49:16 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		That may be, but this isn't like a nick - these are names ... what your mother would call you. I have been known to slip up and use the wrong nick before - but I have yet to call myself anything other than Karen when it comes to a real name.

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 6:54:50 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Ok, that does make it a little more fishy. Maybe......he decided to use his middle name or an alias for anonymity, but by the time he got to the bottom of the letter, he forgot? Oh what a tangled web we weave......

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RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 6:56:52 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Yeah, I get that theory - but with no explination whatsoever, would sure throw up some red flags for me if he messaged. Could be why he's having trouble finding people that are "for real" ...



A simple... hey did you realize you have 2 names in your profile?... response would be ok.. and then see the explination.

Nothing against you SweetDommes... but i've noticed that people throw red flags up at some of the most little things. And they end up missing the bigger picture of someone.

Because someone says tomato... and not tamato......... red flag?

Not from the get go. Now I know there are things up there that red flags should be tossed up about. Each does have there own red flag signs they look for.. but some.. are just ..... (not wanting to offend someones thoughts or preceptions here)

Oh and I agree with windchymes here.. different names, for different sites, do have a tendency to start running together... LOL

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 6:56:58 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Exactly. I did message him and point it out as a possible reason he's having problems finding people who are for real LOL

I just wondered if anyone else would see this as a warning flag ... Even if it's a condition like disassociative identity disorder - something like that should either be mentioned, or proofread and edited out of a profile.

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:00:29 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Yeah, I get that theory - but with no explination whatsoever, would sure throw up some red flags for me if he messaged. Could be why he's having trouble finding people that are "for real" ...



A simple... hey did you realize you have 2 names in your profile?... response would be ok.. and then see the explination.

Nothing against you SweetDommes... but i've noticed that people throw red flags up at some of the most little things. And they end up missing the bigger picture of someone.

Because someone says tomato... and not tamato......... red flag?

Not from the get go. Now I know there are things up there that red flags should be tossed up about. Each does have there own red flag signs they look for.. but some.. are just ..... (not wanting to offend someones thoughts or preceptions here)

Oh and I agree with windchymes here.. different names, for different sites, do have a tendency to start running together... LOL


I'm not offended - however, as I said, it's not just different nicks... it's a different name.

For me this is a red flag because he's obviously (to me, at least) trying to hide something - to convince people that he's someone he's not, but then he forgot who he's supposed to be. He's either unsure of what he wants and/or who he is ... or he's an outright fake.

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:11:29 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

That may be, but this isn't like a nick - these are names ... what your mother would call you. I have been known to slip up and use the wrong nick before - but I have yet to call myself anything other than Karen when it comes to a real name.


Some people use "scene names" that sound like real names. After all, imagine how stupid you'd feel introducing someone to your vanilla friend as "longcockdom."

I use my real name. Of course, I'm so far out of the closet I couldn't find the closet door with the Hubble, but I don't expect I'm reading the name his or her parents bestowed on anyone else's profile.

Actually, I find "real sounding names" more comfortable since a lot of the madeup ones are silly or pretentious.

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(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:12:03 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

I'm not offended - however, as I said, it's not just different nicks... it's a different name.

For me this is a red flag because he's obviously (to me, at least) trying to hide something - to convince people that he's someone he's not, but then he forgot who he's supposed to be. He's either unsure of what he wants and/or who he is ... or he's an outright fake.



So when I meet Jeff.. who is actually Antony... (no not Anthony either.. lol).. I should toss reg flag and be leary?

I'm sorry SweetDommes.. i'm not understanding. Maybe I need another cup of coffee.. lol

Now I can see .... seeing both names in mutli profiles... with different (but yet same) information.. there I would be leary.

It could also be... they don't care which name they actually are refered to as. Either or. But I have to ask now... was the names the only thing that struck you as odd.. or was there something else? That might of made the names seem even more important and red flagged as well?


Edited to add: Year and years ago.(ok talking early teens here.. lol).. I hated my name.. and prefered to use another for a long time. Could be the case here as well. This is my name.. but I prefer to known as.... (I know.. you said there was no readon behind this in the profile.) Maybe it's a play to get an e-mail inquiring as to why... so conversation can commence... (or as you put it... i'll submit to this notion.... lol... one to stay leary of after all) But I still think sometimes the benifit of the doubt for something so small as a possible typo of a name one wants to use or uses elsewhere.. is really no reason for a red flag do not approach situation.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 3/4/2006 7:18:12 AM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:15:25 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren



Some people use "scene names" that sound like real names. After all, imagine how stupid you'd feel introducing someone to your vanilla friend as "longcockdom."

I use my real name. Of course, I'm so far out of the closet I couldn't find the closet door with the Hubble, but I don't expect I'm reading the name his or her parents bestowed on anyone else's profile.

Actually, I find "real sounding names" more comfortable since a lot of the madeup ones are silly or pretentious.



But I DO have a vanilla friend we call "Big Turd Betty"! I won't go into detail why.....but I'd have no problem introducing her to your friend!

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:16:07 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

so my question is this: How seriously would you take someone who can't even decide what his own name is?


I would think "Silly Goober."

It sounds like he likes mind games or atleast a little confusion and chaos. It's either that or he's interested in observant people who catch it. After all, many of us seem to like the idea when our profiles have not only been read but also remembered.

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(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:21:14 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

I'm not offended - however, as I said, it's not just different nicks... it's a different name.

For me this is a red flag because he's obviously (to me, at least) trying to hide something - to convince people that he's someone he's not, but then he forgot who he's supposed to be. He's either unsure of what he wants and/or who he is ... or he's an outright fake.



So when I meet Jeff.. who is actually Antony... (no not Anthony either.. lol).. I should toss reg flag and be leary?

I'm sorry SweetDommes.. i'm not understanding. Maybe I need another cup of coffee.. lol

Now I can see .... seeing both names in mutli profiles... with different (but yet same) information.. there I would be leary.

It could also be... they don't care which name they actually are refered to as. Either or. But I have to ask now... was the names the only thing that struck you as odd.. or was there something else? That might of made the names seem even more important and red flagged as well?


I believe it was the combination of 2 different names, with no explination of "my name is X but I go by Y" (or whatever the explination is) along with the fact that he was complaining about people not being "for real." There isn't even just a "I go by Y" and then the slip-up of signing with X.

My profile has two names in it, but it's actually a profile for two people (even if Holly rarely, if ever, logs on) - and I explain that in the profile (or I have, at some point ... might not be on the profile now, but I know it's in the journal entries somewhere, and the fact that it's a couples profile should be a clue as well). This profile is for a prefessed single male, with two names and no reason given for why there are two names. Jeffrey to Jeff, I can understand (or vice verce), Anthony/Antony to Tony, I can understand ... but Kevin to George (just as an example - these aren't the two names in question), I need an explination for.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 3/4/2006 7:22:56 AM >

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:34:08 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Ok told... told you I was lacking caffine earlier... I forgot about the bitching part of the profile.

Not finding anyone "real" the the lifestyle.

I see your point now. Kinda... but does make a little more sense to me.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:41:02 AM   
TMaster2


Posts: 194
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe he just found a profile he liked, copied it to edit as his own (sometimes people have trouble being original, and there ARE some really great profiles written here! lol), and forgot or never noticed there was a name attached to the bottom...

I'm not trying to excuse the guy for doing this, and this lack of imagination or creativity or whatever might (or might not) translate to other areas, but still, could be just a faux pas.

BTW, did you ever get a reply when you asked about this? or did he change it?

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:47:29 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Just an off-subject silly side note....I love the ice cream cone to symbolize vanilla! How cute!

(in reply to TMaster2)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 7:51:43 AM   
TMaster2


Posts: 194
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Just an off-subject silly side note....I love the ice cream cone to symbolize vanilla! How cute!



*sigh* Yeah, new to the forum, so I get the vanilla tag... wish they would call it something else... lol

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 8:01:00 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

That may be, but this isn't like a nick - these are names ... what your mother would call you. I have been known to slip up and use the wrong nick before - but I have yet to call myself anything other than Karen when it comes to a real name.


Hey...me too! I've always used my real first name when meeting someone. I sign by "K" online, but can't imagine making up a fake first name.

I knew a woman for over five years, from my affiliation in a BDSM oriented group. I was making arrangement to have her in my home, for a doubling session with my partner (it was his fantasy, and a surprise for him to have two-on-one, in scene). When making the arrangements, she called me from work, and left a message to call her back. I did. When I got through, they (her co-workers) told me there was no one there by that name. WOW, was I dumbfounded. Here's I knew this woman for over five years, and she never divulged her real name to me. She explained things, about her scene name, but I didn't even bother to listen. I find a fake name, is usually related to someone with something to hide. We're not friends, that's for sure. After five years, geez!

Anyway, when I'm introduced to someone and they ask what I'd like to be called...I simply say, "Karen, that's my name." No titles, no false persona, no screen name for a name....just me, and my given name.

We have people here (in the local community) with names of inadament objects....and I'll be damned if I'm going to call someone "Stapler" or "Ottoman" (made up names, just to show the pattern here).

I tend to see false names, when meeting in-person, as a sign of a VERY strong fantasy life, and/or a hidden agenda. Online, I just see it as a way to have some anonymity. If they continue to use the false name, in real life, after meeting and getting to know one another, then I see that as someone either having an identity crisis, or definetly something to hide.

K

(in reply to SweetDommes)
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RE: A profile that I just saw ... - 3/4/2006 8:01:24 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TMaster2

BTW, did you ever get a reply when you asked about this? or did he change it?


He hasn't been on again yet, so no changes and no replies. I'll let y'all know after he has been back online.

(in reply to TMaster2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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