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RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/22/2004 6:20:30 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		I agree at least six months to a year~


Sincerely, eyesofAslave




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(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/22/2004 6:31:27 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Just wondering how long do You wait
before wanting to meet someone`


As soon as possible to see if it clicks. I really don’t like sitting around waiting for things to happen. I live in the now.

The other major problem is that in entertaining an online relationship, you can create such a gargantuan illusion of the other until you have them before you.

After that, I have been known to take my time. Then again, I’ve also been known to cut right to the chase.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/22/2004 6:51:10 PM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline 		I have met people from online as soon as 10 minutes after the first hello, to years after the fact. The majority of the ones I met years after the fact, I would have met minutes and been right. I consider myself a highly intuiative person, and have only met one person that I felt was a bad call. Him, I spoke to for over 2 years, and I met more because I felt I owed it to him (he was one of the first people I met online when I started researching the lifestyle). I have described the meeting elsewhere on these boards.

I've known lots of people through the years that *fear* doing things too soon. One was a woman that lived with her boyfriend for 2 years before agreeing to get engaged, and was engaged for 10 years,,, then they broke up. Their entire relationship was the same length of as my with my ex, yet we children that made everyone's lives better. She was 40, dissillusioned, and felt she wasted her entire life by *waiting*...

I knew more about Ross in the first 2 weeks we talked online than I did about my husband after 14 years of marriage. Time, is not the end all to be all... it's quality of time of getting to know each other... Just my opinion though

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/22/2004 7:27:58 PM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Just wondering how long do You wait
before wanting to meet someone`
When do You feel it has been long enough~

Also what do You look for in sincerity from
the other person, just before You meet ~~

Sincerely, eyesofAslave







Well for me it seems if we click on line and there are no red flags or jump starts needed to my heart when we talk online, then that means ok this person is not too scarey and might be a match personality and d/s wise. so i will usually try to meet them early on. if the person gives me too many warning signs then i hold off. If they excite and titalate me thats always a good sign, and no i dont mean just talking dirty. If i can feel the dominance thru the words without them telling me to kneel at my computer screen, then again its a positive sign.

so it depends on how the converations are going i guess.

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/23/2004 3:55:03 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		We don't have any fixed amount of time. We enjoy the getting to know process and have exchanged emails and phone calls for varying periods of time. It's also a bit different when we are chatting with a couple versus an individual. It also is a function of how far apart we are and our schedules. We've gone out and met someone after one IM or message, and other times we've met people who we've been exchanging messages and chats for over 6 months.

Our only rule is that there is no kind of cyber sex involved at any point. We have exchanged pictures and discussed likes/dislikes but since any form of cyber is not our goal we see no point in it.

We have a simple evaluation of sincerity, we provide all our information very early in the process and say "let's get together!" After that we either meet or the excuses start and soon thereafter we never hear from them again.

Although this is the process we use as a couple. I used this exact same process when I was posting and replying to ads. One of which ultimately brought beth and I together.

Merc & beth

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/23/2004 6:16:50 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I would rather meet someone earlier rather than later. Reason being, I think I can get a much better "vibe" about someone once I meet them in person. Too many times I run across people online who proclaim to be this or that and after hearing all of this and giving them my time, they are far less than what they declared themselves to be.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/23/2004 6:20:04 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I find that if I haven't met them after arranging a meeting a couple of times I just lose interest. How long do you keep rescheduling, giving them another day of your time? Without really thinking about it, I've found I do a two strikes rule.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/23/2004 7:40:13 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I don't even understand why this question is asked. Let's say you are out somewhere, you meet someone randomly, strike up a conversation and seem to hit it off. You really don't worry about it do you? Probably exchange phone numbers and e-mail and hope to set up a date to meet again.

So if you make contact with someone here or some other medium and it "feels right" and they are local, why prolong the on-line flirting instead of meeting for coffee or a Big Mac or something to check it out? Some might argue that it is risky, but I think you can get a false sense of security relying just on characters on a screen without additional info from gestures, eye contact, voice inflections and stuff like that.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/23/2004 8:20:23 PM   
Tangwystal


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline 		Well, so far, I have agreed to meet someone as soon as they have wanted to meet. That has been anywhere from a day to a month to not yet.

Tangwystal

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 9/23/2004 10:54:56 PM   
MistressZanthia


Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline 		As long as it takes to plan where and when it's convenient. I don't wait at all. Why waste time? The only way to find out if someone is for you and vice versa is to meet in the flesh, I do it as soon as humanly possible. Life is too short to spend 6 months emailing before calling then another 6 months before meeting in person only to find out he smells like your brother and you'd never fuck him much less date him. It takes five minutes ladies, you know within five minutes of meeting a man if you'll ever be intimate with him, I say GET ON WITH IT.

< Message edited by MistressZanthia -- 9/23/2004 10:59:25 PM >

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 10/2/2004 9:20:30 PM   
Nvernilla


Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well I think the meeting should be soon but in public for maybe as much a 3 times , the reason I feel it should be soon is that if that spark is not there between you why waste time? . It is a fast paced world we live in, true love is the most valuable commodity here, and if its true love you will know by the 2nd or 3rd date.............Mike

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 10/6/2004 7:29:46 AM   
realophelia


Posts: 168
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Just wondering how long do You wait
before wanting to meet someone`
When do You feel it has been long enough~


A couple of weeks to a month. And that's more about scheduling usually than it is about knowing I'm interested. I usually know if I'm interested (or not) almost immediately.

quote:

Also what do You look for in sincerity from
the other person, just before You meet ~~


Not breaking promises is probably my number one thing. Also someone who tells me the truth even when they know I would rather hear something else.

Just as a BTW I always google someone and do an inexpensive background check prior to meeting. I also ask for ID when I meet them and keep the first meeting public.

Take care :)
Ophelia

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 10/6/2004 2:26:11 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		It's a matter of the intitial correspondence, the initital chat and even the initial phone call. I don't like to wait all that long before meeting someone, ( in a safe place) as I do have to determine if there is some sort of spark and a true understanding of what I seek. But, on the other side of the coin, what about the subs/slaves who write to Me and instantly include their home phone#, cell phone#, chat identity, and they are the ones pushing to meet within 24-48 hours? I can usually tell if there is someone I wish to follow up with within a week or so, if they are local and if they take the progression of regular communication seriously. Honestly, I get emails from someone and then they finally reply or attempt to chat with Me 6 or 7 or 9 days later and are insulted that I have to ask them to remind Me who they are!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/6/2004 2:27:02 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 10/7/2004 7:03:24 AM   
angelpet


Posts: 24
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		as far as i am concerned if you wait you end up with a better fantasy of the person then what you will get. Seek local, meet in a VERY public place and just as friends, not with the intention of anything else: sex, play, kissing, etc.

Too many end up in what I call the "yes, sir" mode then meet someone they would not associate with in their vanilla world. This goes for dominants too. That lady saying the "yes, sir" may find it easier to type then to actually say in person.

Meet early, you will either be friends, lovers or just another number, but whatever it is at least you did not sit behind a screen wondering if this could be "the one".

angel

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 12/30/2004 2:51:21 PM   
Sweeticing


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/30/2004
Status: offline 		This question gets asked a lot. I have waited 2 months to 2 years . Heck and some never. It just depends on how long it takes to feel comfortable with the person. You have to have the build of trust to have a good time.And lucky me can say I have not had a bad experence yet why because im picky. I want it to be right or not at all. I sometimes wait longer then I feel necessary just to see if im still interested in this person.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 12/30/2004 3:04:28 PM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
Status: offline
quote:

just because someone is submissive doesn't mean they should be pushed or driven to meet you...


The act of submission does not come into play in the first instant of meeting, the beginning of a first meeting is nothing more than 2 people getting together to see if they have interest in each other, and similar interests.

While submission will be discussed, it is not on the table for taking, until it is offered.

I agree that if you feel this person is what you seek, then meet as quickly as possible, it weeds out the phonies.

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to Maltor)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 12/30/2004 3:24:01 PM   
RealityFix


Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline 		Usually within a few weeks, at most.

And then in a public venue the first time, to see if things click. I'm not the sort of man who lacks respect for others,so safety is not an issue.

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 12/30/2004 3:35:51 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

While submission will be discussed, it is not on the table for taking, until it is offered.

Hallelujah. Likewise for Domination inasmuch as tying the subbie up, spanking the subbie, and/or gagging the applicant subbie...although gagging is sooooooo tempting.

This is the deal, if a subbie travels to me, and I don't want to play with them, then I won't play with them. Period. If a subbie travels to me, and I like them and want to play with them, I am not going to play with them first meeting. My rule, I don't break it for anyone. Period. I am clear about my rules. If applicant forgets the rules...too bad. If applicant doesn't like the rules...too bad. If applicant is upset by the rules...too bad. Until I say it's playtime, then it isn't playtime.

quote:

I agree that if you feel this person is what you seek, then meet as quickly as possible, it weeds out the phonies.


I agree that if everything appears to be in order then there is no reason not to meet following the guidelines, safe calls in place, etc. You're right, the phonies are going to back out or back down, and meeting will either confirm that "right" feeling, or not. At the very least a lifestyle connection is made.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: how long do You wait till meeting someone?? - 12/30/2004 4:37:10 PM   
1CHRONDOM


Posts: 23
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		I'm with you Zan. I always keep a "just in case" bag in my trunk. You never know what could happen. Hell I keep a bag, rollerblades, oil, etc. in my trunk. I'm one of those dudes that like to be prepared for the worst intead of being pissed when it happens and I'm not prepared.

Now for the thread topic. I understand being fearful of meeting someone in real time right off, but whats up with the waiting a year to meet? that is obsurd to me unless there is a reason like distance. I chatted with a woman for a year and didn't go to see her till I was finacially able to go visit. If she was able she would have came and seen me. It just worked out the latter. I personally don't like to email, im, or otherwise for a long time without meeting face to face because of the same reason Zan stated.."I do it ASAP for both of us, why waste months of time on someone who smells like your brother when you finally meet him and you can't get near him (or her in my case..lol)?" My brother doesn't smell but we all get the point. You do all that communication and when you finally meet in person...you can't see yourself even being in the same room for one reason or another. The public place meeting is great. Think of it this way...it could turn out that everything is fine with the person and you have a great time on the first meeting. If you dwell on the negative aspect of things...they usually turn out negitave. I say take a chance sometimes....you got to have something to say "holy shit" about before you can skid in the grave don't cha..lol Great quote Cheeba

My handful of change...
P.S. If someone has something negative to say about my post. to them I say to each his\her own.

(in reply to MistressZanthia)
Profile   Post #: 39
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