Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Am I jaded?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Am I jaded? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 12:29:19 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am almost afraid to ask that or title the thread such, but I guess it is really the bottom line and if I get slam dunked... I might deserve it! lol I typically go with my gut and I have no reason for not doing so, but this time, I did wonder what you all would think and wanted to hear what others would have to say about this. It isn't anything major, but just one of those things that kind of sticks in your mind and will determine much I think.

Being at this site, more than any other I have been on, I have found that I have changed. I always said that I would not let the bad guys win or allow anyone to change me in a negative manner. In a more subtle way I think I have eased into a more jaded place than I have ever been in before. So I am taking a look at that. I can be sarcastic and tough because I actually like having fun with things and I am a tough cookie sometimes, but I am also very loving and more often came across online as a loving person. Now... the jaded is showing I think! lol

Normally I shake something like this off and go with my jaded or gut/wisdom/whatever. But I also am very fair minded and don't want to be unfair to anyone. I am emailing with someone... I don't go to messenger very quickly, but have a few times and each time I was sorry I did. But each person is different and I don't wish to be jaded, so sometimes I do move more quickly. In the process of deciding whether to move to messenger with someone who presented very well, no kink talk, no sex... just simple conversation with a man who liked the things I said... he gives me his phone numbers as he is having computer issues and doesn't want to lose touch with me if something happens. Anyone who pushes to talk on the phone too quickly is a redflag to me.

Well because of how I feel about being pushed in a direction typically, I paused before I approved the messenger contact. I decided to check him out a bit. I do a reverse on the phone number and low and behold... a woman's name comes up. Okay... almost dead in the water dude... but I email and ask who is Sara? (fake name) He very quickly responds that the only Sara he knows is the lady who gave him the messed up computer. Why? How did that name come up?

I tell him how basically and also what I thought she did for a living because her name result in google told me. lol I am working on redflag now... or jaded. lol As we talk through email, as I am not approving the messenger, I find that she just moved out in the last half year. Whatever their relationship was and that they work together. He has been willing to send me information and such. Seems to be straight up and why give me the home phone and call anytime if she is still living there or something?

Here's the thing... When I asked who Sara was... he didn't tell me... that is my ex partner or roommate... but the lady who gave him the computer. Shades of truth? lol

I asked myself what I would say if someone brought a name up to me. I would directly tell them who the person was. I feel he didn't and that makes me feel it is a bit of deception or as if he was making light of something. Everyone has a right to share what they wish to share... but... I also am big on very direct conversation and answers to questions. Am I jaded? Too tough? Or is this how we or I can become at a site like this? lol

< Message edited by Lockit -- 10/10/2009 12:42:27 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 12:34:16 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, precisely how many different cocks have you sucked, list them here for all to see, you want to be truthful and all?

I think he was some taken aback and not necessarily ready to blurt out the entire story on some rather seemingly random ask.

I would put that in the chips, tell him that ain't gonna cut it (minimizing the answers) from here on out, and keep the jade in the earrings for now, but by all means, don't put it back in the jewelry box.

I know you know what I mean, and what I mean in the spirit of this post.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 12:39:41 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... I do Ron and thank you! I love how you word things! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 12:51:01 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		I prefer to think of myself as cynical and careful rather than jaded. LOL!

He lied - he's dead in water.  Whether the lie is "shades of truth" or by ommision or by commission, he's dead.

I had a sub approach - said he wanted to be 24/7, turn over income, etc.  He was up-front about fact that he would have to wear an electronic ankle bracelet - actually offered that as why I should take him on.  My safety was assured because "You can violate me at any time, Sir."  The first contact, however was my first red-flag.  He wanted me to write via snail-mail and gave address.  Turns out that's a half-way house - i.e. minimum security run under contract for the state.  Biggest red-flag was when I asked (in parallel to your asking about Sara) what were the charges and sentence.  Five years for shop-lifting.  BIG red flag.  Anyway, I discovered his on-line record and sent him his mug shot and the true charges....possesion of controlled substance.  He replied that he had "just" reached over pharmacy counter to get non-perscription cold remedies, and was caught.  Well, those meds are there because they are ingredients for meth.  ::: sigh :::  A few months later, he contacted me again but using a new user name, new profile, same pic, same "story."  I replied that I didn't want such a stupid slave. LOL!

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 10/10/2009 12:52:36 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 1:06:59 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you Lance... I don't know... I tend to be rather hard or harsh when it comes to honesty and I believe this will stick in my mind becasue I do see it as being less than forthright. I do wish to be fair, but at the same time... I tell everyone to go with their gut. But sometimes our gut can be tainted by a bit of jaded virus... so.. lol I believe in self accountabilty and improvement/awareness... so I need to take a look at this. But... but... but... still, even if he was shocked... I think the next time he is shocked if I continue things... I will be reminded of this and wonder... will he in shock respond the same? lol

Grrrrrrrrrr lol

< Message edited by Lockit -- 10/10/2009 1:08:04 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 1:28:08 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		"the woman that gave me the computer" sounds like a stupid answer to me...red flag? I don't know..maybe just a horrible answer.

I don't think you're jaded..just cautious..nothing wrong with that and this wasn't a difficult question.

I prefer messengers, 'cause well I'm not really a message/e-mail person. One is for people I "don't know"(used to be my primary account) now I use another as a primary. I find it convenient since I'm not interested in letting just anyone have my primary one since it uses my name and personal info.


_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 2:31:54 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		As a guy with an old clunker of a computer (I still use Windows 98), I can be sympathetic to his situation.  Further, I am the third generation in my house and with my landline number.  On the other-hand, if you did do a reverse search on my number and asked who so-and-so is... I'd tell you.  I never bothered to change the name on the phone because I want to avoid all of those "old buddies" from school who just became Primerica reps.

Now, therefore, Lockit, I declare you JADED in the exterme.  Go to your jewelry box.

Otherwise Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger 

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 2:44:23 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you pretty winged one! I am thinking of using two messengers now... I used one that didn't have my real name on it and that was far better... may have to go back to it... but didn't want my family on that one! Even though some know of my mistress activities...lol... I don't like to push it! lol

LOL Mike! I talked to him about his computer and figured it had to be a 98 from what he was saying, so I do understand that! I think it was the three or four emails where he mentioned he wanted to talk on the phone and was impatient that got me on edge. lol It's pretty simple... I didn't know him well enough to not be on edge about it... but wondered about my jaded in it all! lol

I will give him a chance to prove himself. I am not afraid really... just don't like being played as some will do around here. But really, I am not so invested that it is a problem. I will set things straight and expect direct answers to even more now. lol But he has a chance... I will temper myself as things go on, but it is difficult not to think that there might be a problem with being forthright.

I do love hearing how you all view something like this... so THANK YOU! It is very interesting to me!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 3:12:57 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Lockit,  I do understand your caution.  I like to meet face to face early with someone that I am interested in.  Meeting for coffee... with an established time limit...  I want to know that this woman is a real live person.  Still, I don't want to pressure somebody beyond her comfort zone. You are always right to proceed with caution.

By the way,  I just read what you said about UPS guys....   My comment about the jewelry box stands!

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger 

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 3:21:07 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL Mike... so I am bad... what's new? I am just fedex all the way! But even my ups friends still love me... they just know they won't be bringing any boxes to my house! Well... unless someone I buy from uses UPS... then I just watch for the truck becasue that driver for my area will always just leave it without knocking at least. I get tired of rain soaked boxes. Heck my son worked for them... that's how I got to know so much about their promises and methods... besides watching social service promote them as an employer.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 5:04:14 PM   
IBused


Posts: 93
Joined: 10/4/2009
Status: offline 		I guess you have never lied...hid the truth, or not been forthright?   Damn, I had you pegged all wrong, coz I thought you never did?  Fuck Sarah...or get with the new sub and I'll fuck her....I'll take one for the team.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 5:38:52 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Lockit, following ones instinct doesnt make one jaded, it`s called self preservation.

(in reply to IBused)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 5:42:54 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

IHere's the thing... When I asked who Sara was... he didn't tell me... that is my ex partner or roommate... but the lady who gave him the computer. Shades of truth? lol

I asked myself what I would say if someone brought a name up to me. I would directly tell them who the person was. I feel he didn't and that makes me feel it is a bit of deception or as if he was making light of something. Everyone has a right to share what they wish to share... but... I also am big on very direct conversation and answers to questions. Am I jaded? Too tough? Or is this how we or I can become at a site like this? lol


I'd give it a little more time. Keep your eyes open, but he hasn't exactly hung himself yet. From the sub perspective, I might say something similar to a dominant I was just getting to know, not because I was trying to hide anything important from them but because I barely know them and do not want to offend them. Nothing is more boring/offputting to some people then to have a person they are just getting to know go on and on about their old relationships. So I would tread carefully here at the first inquiry and try not to be offensive and shove the old relationship in their face. I don't think I would have said, "the person who gave me this computer" but I probably would have tried to downplay the old and gone relationship so that the new dominant would know clearly there was nothing else going on in my life at the time.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 5:50:55 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		sent ya something on the other side.

Had a simular situation once.  He was one of those that would not only tell half truths, but he was one that would be talking to you no problems, then the next day disappear for months, then turn up. 

Of course after the first time he went poof I was done with him, consideration wise, but I was polite and made conversation when he would turn up.  After about a year I'd had enough and told him to either tell me what's going on or never contact me again.  Turns out he was married (wife doesn't get me..yadda yadda yadda)

I told him exactly what I thought of his tactics, so now it's really cool because he's so scared he doesn't contact me any more...lol   Of course, on schedule I still see that he looks at my profile...lol

< Message edited by DrkJourney -- 10/10/2009 6:01:38 PM >

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 6:51:30 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I am almost afraid to ask that or title the thread such, but I guess it is really the bottom line and if I get slam dunked... I might deserve it! lol I typically go with my gut and I have no reason for not doing so, but this time, I did wonder what you all would think and wanted to hear what others would have to say about this. It isn't anything major, but just one of those things that kind of sticks in your mind and will determine much I think.

Being at this site, more than any other I have been on, I have found that I have changed. I always said that I would not let the bad guys win or allow anyone to change me in a negative manner. In a more subtle way I think I have eased into a more jaded place than I have ever been in before. So I am taking a look at that. I can be sarcastic and tough because I actually like having fun with things and I am a tough cookie sometimes, but I am also very loving and more often came across online as a loving person. Now... the jaded is showing I think! lol

Normally I shake something like this off and go with my jaded or gut/wisdom/whatever. But I also am very fair minded and don't want to be unfair to anyone. I am emailing with someone... I don't go to messenger very quickly, but have a few times and each time I was sorry I did. But each person is different and I don't wish to be jaded, so sometimes I do move more quickly. In the process of deciding whether to move to messenger with someone who presented very well, no kink talk, no sex... just simple conversation with a man who liked the things I said... he gives me his phone numbers as he is having computer issues and doesn't want to lose touch with me if something happens. Anyone who pushes to talk on the phone too quickly is a redflag to me.

Well because of how I feel about being pushed in a direction typically, I paused before I approved the messenger contact. I decided to check him out a bit. I do a reverse on the phone number and low and behold... a woman's name comes up. Okay... almost dead in the water dude... but I email and ask who is Sara? (fake name) He very quickly responds that the only Sara he knows is the lady who gave him the messed up computer. Why? How did that name come up?

I tell him how basically and also what I thought she did for a living because her name result in google told me. lol I am working on redflag now... or jaded. lol As we talk through email, as I am not approving the messenger, I find that she just moved out in the last half year. Whatever their relationship was and that they work together. He has been willing to send me information and such. Seems to be straight up and why give me the home phone and call anytime if she is still living there or something?

Here's the thing... When I asked who Sara was... he didn't tell me... that is my ex partner or roommate... but the lady who gave him the computer. Shades of truth? lol

I asked myself what I would say if someone brought a name up to me. I would directly tell them who the person was. I feel he didn't and that makes me feel it is a bit of deception or as if he was making light of something. Everyone has a right to share what they wish to share... but... I also am big on very direct conversation and answers to questions. Am I jaded? Too tough? Or is this how we or I can become at a site like this? lol


Well the OP has failed to consider the obvious, just because it is on the internet, does not make it true. I gave someone my phone number and they did one of these lookup. It came back listing my former slave's business association as well as a listing for a female homosexual. The business, even though I knew of it, the parent company had absolutely no right to list any information without my consent and as far as the other, I am neither a homosexual or female. I can only assume that the phone number was hers at one time. I find it very irresponsible for individuals or companies to present fiction as fact. I pay the phone company a fee for not listing it, that means anywhere.









_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 7:06:35 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		You are jaded!  So?  Go with your gut, it will not steer you wrong!

I go to the phone pretty quickly... SO easy for them to give themselves away over the phone!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 7:33:00 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IBused

I guess you have never lied...hid the truth, or not been forthright?   Damn, I had you pegged all wrong, coz I thought you never did?  Fuck Sarah...or get with the new sub and I'll fuck her....I'll take one for the team.


LOL... wow...

I have done all the above somewhere in life... and expecially when I had an appointment I couldn't make and the real reason was no reason to them. But... since a little event in a personal relationship I had a few decades ago, where I was trying to protect someone from my unknown or dx'ed illness... I have not lied in a relationship or with anyone I was seeing. If I do lie to someone it is not in a personal relationship or the start of one. It isn't going to happen. I prefer not to lie since I cried because I lied to the olan mills sales girl and couldn't apologise to her because I didn't know who she was. I did lie to someone playing me and someone else with his lies and trying to prove it once not too, too long ago. Now you have my confessions. lol

A lie is a rarity in my life.

As for the rest... you will have to organize that fuckin without my help. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to IBused)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 7:34:55 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Dear Lockit, following ones instinct doesnt make one jaded, it`s called self preservation.


Very true unless your instinct is a bit off. lol Right or wrong, I will go with my gut... but I will be paying attention to maybe having a bit of something to look for there! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 7:37:38 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Lockit,  I am glad IB stepped up for the team.  I thought I was going to have to do it!  Mike

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Am I jaded? - 10/10/2009 7:38:51 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

I'd give it a little more time. Keep your eyes open, but he hasn't exactly hung himself yet. From the sub perspective, I might say something similar to a dominant I was just getting to know, not because I was trying to hide anything important from them but because I barely know them and do not want to offend them. Nothing is more boring/offputting to some people then to have a person they are just getting to know go on and on about their old relationships. So I would tread carefully here at the first inquiry and try not to be offensive and shove the old relationship in their face. I don't think I would have said, "the person who gave me this computer" but I probably would have tried to downplay the old and gone relationship so that the new dominant would know clearly there was nothing else going on in my life at the time.


Thank you CaringandReal. I agree with this and can understand it. That is why I can get passed whatever I might be thinking or feeling long enough to see what is really there. I have cringed when people have asked me certain things because it was something I would rather get into later, but I answer. It doesn't mean someone is lying if they don't. I just would have prefered a more direct answer. I think it was a combination of things and I will examine that in myself and go from there. I can be tough but am not totally unreasonable. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Am I jaded? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.110