CNJDom
Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: southernsub47
Just had a session with a local guy. Bad time. He was off the charts on the I can't shut the hell up meter. We had corresponded (by the way he's not on collarme) and made our likes and dislikes know. I love spanking, like oral and anal. Well his anal toys are all of the horsecock variety, he has no spanking skills, and has a nice cock but after an hour of sucking it's time to move on. Won't go back.
It's sad, but the main thing is that you found out and learned. This experience shows that sometimes there are others with different perspectives of the same concepts that you have. All of what you like is not a problem...HOW this person likes it, is a different concept. He wanted extreme anal toys, and you found that you are not particularly fond of that. Oral is nice, but extended oral is a pain or a bore, and though it's hard to get someone's spanking knowledge down prior to an actual spanking, it's going to be a "hit or miss" situation as far as the quality of that spanking...so pot-luck there.
The main thing is that you've learned about this person and have made an informed decision. This will help you possibly in making a better or more cautious decision next time. Go slower and perhaps try on a first session, just spanking and no sexual play (perhaps they will show you the toys they plan to use on you "next time" if there is a next time so you can decide if you would like to proceed further with this potential Dom). That way, you can get a feel for what kind of Dom this is. Some Doms are primarily focused on getting blow jobs, and all else is secondary. On the other side, there are the "do-me" subs that want a little spanking, and then get fucked, who are really not interested in more than that. They all have a place here, but they are not all for everybody.
So go slower and don't put out everything all at once. Take your sessions in steps and try to hit those prerequisite qualities on a safe and sane level, and work out prior through negotiating as you go along. If you want to just have sessions and not a D/s relationship, then casual play is your thing. But if you are truly looking for a relationship, then you may need to take things a little slower. How about some non-sexual contact sessions first? This will weed-out the "suck-me-nows" since they won't have the patience. Those that don't have the technical or personal skills for their Dominant behavior or actions will be next on the weeding list when they can't do the non-sexual sessions very well. Their demeanor and technique will show through. Even though shit and cream both rise, you should know in an instant which is which. In any case, you will constantly be learning and becoming a more informed and knowledgeable submissive that will find what you are looking for in others to interact with. Good luck.
< Message edited by CNJDom -- 10/11/2009 4:32:48 AM >
_____________________________
“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
~Ivan Panin
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RE: Bad time - 
<-----takes notes..Lesse....you lick before you nibble but after you suck.... 
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