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Failure in Experimentation! - 10/10/2009 7:28:23 PM   
spiceguy2009


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/12/2009
From: Colorado
Status: offline 		I am new to BDSM and was fortunate enough to find a Dominant who is patient and flexible in his training of me.

I am a Professional Chef by trade and so logically wanted to cook for him with my collar on. For me food can be very erotic, in it's preparation as well as consumption. He was reluctant in allowing me to try this saying he thought it would be detrimental to my career.

Well he allowed me this pleasure and I totally blew it. I was so deep in my submission that I couldn't even properly prepare breakfast. Not only did I not season the dish properly, but I neglected to add a few of the ingredients he had suggested.

This bothered me for sometime, and he informed me the very next day that I was never to cook with my collar on again.

I am curious to know if any other subs have had a similar situation and how their masters handled the situation?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/10/2009 7:36:38 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Oh - so if i screw up washing Sirs underpants, will he forbid me to ever wash them again?????????????????????????/

Perhaps you need to pull back a little, rejoin the real world and realise that you guys need to eat. Or in other words, stop going for your own satisfaction and go for your doms - as in correctly prepared food. If i was your dom, i would consider punishing you for failing me. Fun is fun, but food is serious!


OK, i reread what i posted and it sounds harsh. Take it with a grain of salt and a dash of humour (see, i can be funny!) - but life is real, you need to engage in it, and taper down the fantasy stuff.

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 10/10/2009 7:38:48 PM >

(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/10/2009 7:44:36 PM   
Passion8Kisser


Posts: 72
Joined: 10/5/2009
Status: offline 		Just because you have a collar on is not an excuse to live in "subspace." if I was so fixated on anything that it distracted me enough that I couldn't cook a good meal *and I am not a pro chef* I would hope my Dom would forbid me do that thing again whilst cooking.  You got wrapped up in some kind of funky head space, if the collar was the cause, then don't wear it cooking... that is what I read your dom asking for. You need to be at your best in all things, but especially those that could influence your career. That is what a Master should instill... imo.



(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/10/2009 8:14:03 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Passion8: Sounds like the Dom was trying to instill the motivation to be the "best in all things" in the OP.  Remember that the OP said "he [the Dom] allowed me this pleasure" and "He [the Dom] was reluctant."

(in reply to Passion8Kisser)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/10/2009 9:21:57 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spiceguy2009

I am new to BDSM and was fortunate enough to find a Dominant who is patient and flexible in his training of me.

I am a Professional Chef by trade and so logically wanted to cook for him with my collar on. For me food can be very erotic, in it's preparation as well as consumption. He was reluctant in allowing me to try this saying he thought it would be detrimental to my career.

Well he allowed me this pleasure and I totally blew it. I was so deep in my submission that I couldn't even properly prepare breakfast. Not only did I not season the dish properly, but I neglected to add a few of the ingredients he had suggested.

This bothered me for sometime, and he informed me the very next day that I was never to cook with my collar on again.

I am curious to know if any other subs have had a similar situation and how their masters handled the situation?



1. Okay, you had a fetish and wanted to try it.  Cool.
2. How would cooking privately for him, with a collar on, affect your career in any way whatsoever?  Or were you on the job wearing a collar while he was a customer of the restaurant?  If it was the first, I'm at a total loss.  If it was the second, I would never have agreed for you to out yourself on the job.
3. I don't understand the "deep in submission"  bit.  You couldn't have entered subspace by simply submitting to him, nor been overcome by endorphine.  It sounds like you got so excited by filling your fantasy that you lost all focus.

So was it a private cooking session, or at your job?



_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/11/2009 4:10:26 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I used to wear my collar all the time and no it didn't effect anything I did. 

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/11/2009 5:32:21 AM   
spiceguy2009


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/12/2009
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: spiceguy2009

I am new to BDSM and was fortunate enough to find a Dominant who is patient and flexible in his training of me.

I am a Professional Chef by trade and so logically wanted to cook for him with my collar on. For me food can be very erotic, in it's preparation as well as consumption. He was reluctant in allowing me to try this saying he thought it would be detrimental to my career.

Well he allowed me this pleasure and I totally blew it. I was so deep in my submission that I couldn't even properly prepare breakfast. Not only did I not season the dish properly, but I neglected to add a few of the ingredients he had suggested.

This bothered me for sometime, and he informed me the very next day that I was never to cook with my collar on again.

I am curious to know if any other subs have had a similar situation and how their masters handled the situation?



1. Okay, you had a fetish and wanted to try it.  Cool.
2. How would cooking privately for him, with a collar on, affect your career in any way whatsoever?  Or were you on the job wearing a collar while he was a customer of the restaurant?  If it was the first, I'm at a total loss.  If it was the second, I would never have agreed for you to out yourself on the job.
3. I don't understand the "deep in submission"  bit.  You couldn't have entered subspace by simply submitting to him, nor been overcome by endorphine.  It sounds like you got so excited by filling your fantasy that you lost all focus.

So was it a private cooking session, or at your job?




It was private, and after a long night of submission, I was already in a subspace and wanted it to continue. He said he was afraid that if I continued it, I would mentally associate cooking with submission, and that would not be good for me.
I only wear my collar when I am with him. Outside of his home I am in total control of everything around me. My submission to him is my release.
Yes, I think you are right, I did loose focus, and that is something he was concerned by.


< Message edited by spiceguy2009 -- 10/11/2009 5:37:14 AM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/11/2009 5:44:06 AM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		yeah i fucked up cooking a couple of times... but that was because i followed His advise on the recipe even knowing that it would be to spicy for Him... so that was more of "i told you so" fuck up and now we dont use jalapeños anymore lol

(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/11/2009 9:21:42 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spiceguy2009
This bothered me for sometime, and he informed me the very next day that I was never to cook with my collar on again. I am curious to know if any other subs have had a similar situation and how their masters handled the situation?
OK, let me get this straight. The guy's got a professional chef for a sub yet wants to put your submission and your cooking in conflict with each other? I can think of about 2 billion ways to "handle" this situation... starting right out with "ignore it because you're new and you'll settle down". I can only assume that your Dom is also new to this all... either that or he really doesn't like either food or you.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/11/2009 8:14:53 PM   
spiceguy2009


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/12/2009
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: spiceguy2009
This bothered me for sometime, and he informed me the very next day that I was never to cook with my collar on again. I am curious to know if any other subs have had a similar situation and how their masters handled the situation?
OK, let me get this straight. The guy's got a professional chef for a sub yet wants to put your submission and your cooking in conflict with each other? I can think of about 2 billion ways to "handle" this situation... starting right out with "ignore it because you're new and you'll settle down". I can only assume that your Dom is also new to this all... either that or he really doesn't like either food or you.


I think there was some confusion in my posting, He did not want the 2 to conflict, but I wanted to try it thinking I could keep them separate. I was wrong, and he explained to me why he did not want to try this in the first place. I am confident he likes me quite well, and I know he loves my food, usually.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/11/2009 8:34:06 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spiceguy2009

This bothered me for sometime, and he informed me the very next day that I was never to cook with my collar on again.

I am curious to know if any other subs have had a similar situation and how their masters handled the situation?


no it won't be an issue for me. He's professionally trained and would do the bulk of cooking. i get to smile pretty and play hostess. at first i balked before i realized how this could work nicely. i prefer a man that cooks anyway.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/12/2009 7:02:30 PM   
TheGaggingWh0re


Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		No worries! I was trying to make a dish for Master once that turned out -horrible-. I was trying to be all suave and put together ingredients I *thought* I tasted in an amazing Thai dish. It happens to the best of us :P

Take some time and earn that privilege again (if that is an option). So you got all excited once? I can think of ten things I fumbled through the first time out of excitement. You'll get it!

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/12/2009 8:22:20 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Oh hell yes I have blown a meal, and I pride myself on my wonderful gourmet meals.  My issue is that I was just really nervous because I wanted everything to be "perfect."  When I calmed down enough to just cook as "me", like I always do, food came out as it normally does.

You were cooking while still in subspace.  I'm not even sure I can tie a shoe while in subspace lol.  Perhaps it wasn't wearing your collar that was the issue, but the timing of your cooking.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/13/2009 10:29:47 AM   
spiceguy2009


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/12/2009
From: Colorado
Status: offline 		Yes, my thoughts exactly. I do not think it is an option to try this again, as you said, when I cook as me, everything comes out perfect. When I have my collar on I really do loose myself in the submission. I let go of all of my normal control and reasoning I have when in the kitchen and restaurant and enjoy the freedom of being my masters slave. However, and this may just be because it is a new experience, I have not yet learned to intertwine the two, and I am not sure I ever will.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/13/2009 11:53:56 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spiceguy2009
Yes, my thoughts exactly. I do not think it is an option to try this again, as you said, when I cook as me, everything comes out perfect. When I have my collar on I really do loose myself in the submission. I let go of all of my normal control and reasoning I have when in the kitchen and restaurant and enjoy the freedom of being my masters slave. However, and this may just be because it is a new experience, I have not yet learned to intertwine the two, and I am not sure I ever will.
*chuckles* Back to what I first said... My response to this would be to mostly just ignore it. From your post, you are an introspective person. You'll get over the rush of submission. I've seen exactly this behavior before. It's a lot like someone's first love affair. Heh, or now that I think of it, the start of ANY love affair.

It might help you to ponder this. At least were I your master, I would not want you to "lose yourself in your submission". I'd want you to give yourself to me which is going to require that you keep track of yourself. In fact, one might even look at it as losing yourself in your submission is serving your own need to submit much more than serving your dominant. Serving your dominant is making the breakfast to the best of your ability.

But again, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just keep being introspective and it'll all come out in the laundry. In the end, any relationship takes a bit of "settle time" and any new role takes a bit of practice to get good at it.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/13/2009 11:59:13 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spiceguy2009

Yes, my thoughts exactly. I do not think it is an option to try this again, as you said, when I cook as me, everything comes out perfect. When I have my collar on I really do loose myself in the submission. I let go of all of my normal control and reasoning I have when in the kitchen and restaurant and enjoy the freedom of being my masters slave. However, and this may just be because it is a new experience, I have not yet learned to intertwine the two, and I am not sure I ever will.



Hey, what if this gets to be he orders you to wear that collar 24/7? you gotta get a grip, nobody tosses a pan full of potatos right the first time out................get a fuckin grip, man.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/13/2009 1:37:30 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		If you can't cook breakfast with a collar on, I totally advise against attempting it in your fuck-me high heels.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/13/2009 1:42:09 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		bacon spatters, wear a good servicable apron.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/13/2009 1:43:58 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Too distracting.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/13/2009 6:34:07 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spiceguy2009

Yes, my thoughts exactly. I do not think it is an option to try this again, as you said, when I cook as me, everything comes out perfect. When I have my collar on I really do loose myself in the submission. I let go of all of my normal control and reasoning I have when in the kitchen and restaurant and enjoy the freedom of being my masters slave. However, and this may just be because it is a new experience, I have not yet learned to intertwine the two, and I am not sure I ever will.


As frequently happens on this forum, I find reality intruding on fantasy. You are a professional chef? I assume you didn't just start out at the top, and that you've worked in kitchens under other chefs, and you've experienced the reality that is kitchen power dynamics - i.e. some of the self-proclaimed "slaves" on this forum have nothing on a line cook in terms of submission. I am genuinely confused how a professionally trained chef would find "interwining" personal submission such a challenge coming from a profession that has some of the most open bdsm dynamic of any profession I know of.

(in reply to spiceguy2009)
Profile   Post #: 20
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