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RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/14/2009 8:38:03 AM

spiceguy2009

Posts: 120
Joined: 9/12/2009
From: Colorado
Status: offline

No I did not start out at the top of my profession, but I have always been in charge. I am the Dom in my profession, and the submission is something that is new and exciting for me. I guess, as Leadership said above, I got caught up in it and this is what I think needs to be address.

Thanks to all of you I see what my problem was, and how to address it.

(in reply to Lucienne)

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Post #: 21

RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/15/2009 7:31:44 AM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

Sounds like you go into "topspace" in the kitchen. I can see a Dom not wanting you to try to push that professionaly trained "topsapace" aside so that you can be in "bottomspace" at the same time. Yes, you might be excited for your "newfound" subpace (as your profile states "new to all this") but sounds like your dom is wise to not allow your collar in the kitchen, no matter whether it's his kitchen or yours. So, I guess your original question might be "Has anyone ever tried to be in topspace and bottom space at the same time?" Maybe start a new thread to that effect......

(in reply to spiceguy2009)

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Post #: 22

RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/15/2009 11:20:43 AM

maat

Posts: 62
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

First times are wounderfull but also difficult. You said that you had been serving your Master earlyer that night before cooking? Maybe thats the problem. Not the colar itself.
IF you get the chance to try again ask to do it the other way around. Cook first, serve later. That way you will have what happends after your cooking as a good treat if you did well.

I agree with one of the posters here. when im that deap in subspace i cant tie a shoolace eaven if my life depended on it. I can bearly put two words together so leting me anywere nere knifes or hot things is just a stupied idea. Messing up a meal wuld be my least problem. Geting out of the kitchen alive wuld be difficult enough.

i can totaly understand the desire to cook for your Master since its something you do well. You whant to do well for Him as well. As submissives we have an amazing ability to make things erotic in our own mind. Hell, i lost my voice a few days ago and having been in a subby hedspace for a week or so already i made the fact that im not able to speek highly erotic. So whanting fantasies to come true is just natural. Whanting to exell for your master is just natural.

Try to find out exactly 1, what put you in that headspace and 2, how can you avoid the same thing happening again if you do get the chance to cook for him. Write it down or tell him so your master sees that you understand what happend and that you are aware of why it happend and if possible how you can prevent it from happening again.

and yeah, dont worry to much about it, submissives arent perfect, we do mess up every now and then, what counts is your heart. and from the sound of it, your heart was realy in the right space and im shure your master sees that.

best wishes.

(in reply to LanceHughes)

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Post #: 23

RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/15/2009 12:01:48 PM

spiceguy2009

Posts: 120
Joined: 9/12/2009
From: Colorado
Status: offline

Thank you, and I am sure you are right. I have cooked before and it was always excellent and the rewards were always phenomenal, but this time I was in the wrong state of mind to be cooking. I was not deep in subspace, but I was not quite myself yet either, so we have reverted back to food first, I think it works better for both of us and I am able to mentally focus on what is at hand. I can use a knife blindfolded, so the danger is not an issue for me, but the lack of focus is, and I do so want everything to be perfect for him.

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(in reply to maat)

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Post #: 24

RE: Failure in Experimentation! - 10/15/2009 12:22:55 PM

maat

Posts: 62
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Thats the thing with beeing in the right state of mind. You can desire to perform your best but not be able to simply becuse your head isent in it.

There are levels of sub space (atleast i find it to be so for me). When im in the shalow end im extremly creative. I love thinking up all kinds of things to do, to make (love kinky crafts) but i wuldnt try and make the things right then and there, its not the right time. When im in the deap end i can bearly speek (Master is sometimes verry crule and keeps asking me questions that he actualy expects me to answer). But at the same time, doing something for my Master can put me in the shalow end of subspace, like kinky crafts.

Its just about listening to youself and beeing real about your own abilitys and i can see from your post that you have thought about what happend and actuay see that youself.

So, eaven if you messed upp, you realy gaind a great insight in to youself, and thats priceless.

(in reply to spiceguy2009)

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Post #: 25