RE: dom forced to submit, possible?

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RE: dom forced to submit, possible? - 10/11/2009 3:53:39 PM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UrbanSpider

Inside a D/D relationship, I wonder if one could make their partner submit with positive reaction without damaging the sense of dominance of the partner?

Marcus

Dominants can not "be made" to do anything, so I can not see it a positive thing. A dominant may chose to submit, and this may not have a negative effect

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RE: dom forced to submit, possible? - 10/11/2009 5:48:58 PM

Andalusite

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I was a Domme for 5 years in my first BDSM-oriented relationship, 15 years ago. I bottomed in some of my subsequent relationships, but didn't feel submissive until about 4 1/2 years ago, with a casual playpartner. He offered a D/s relationship, but not on terms I could be happy with. I was with my previous Dominant for 3 years, and met my Master here on CM about 6 months ago. My submission wasn't "forced" by any of them, but I engaged in "force" play, such as takedowns, "rape" play, wrestling/playfighting, etc., with all three of them, which is really hot. If someone tried to literally force me against my will to submit, I'd dig in my heels, and resist. If they persisted, I'd break up with them. It sounds like your friend doesn't want to be pushed into a submissive dynamic, but wants physically forceful/rough play.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 10/11/2009 5:54:59 PM >

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RE: dom forced to submit, possible? - 10/11/2009 6:28:12 PM

hardbodysub

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I think people sometimes get a little too wound up about the phrase "make their partner submit" in the same way that they take "forced" too literally. Just think of it as influencing someone in the direction you want. Whether subtle influence or overt coercion, dominance requires some method of coaxing submission from another if it's initially offered without any action from the dominant. I wouldn't have it any other way.

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 10/11/2009 6:35:54 PM >

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RE: dom forced to submit, possible? - 10/11/2009 6:47:34 PM

MsMillgrove

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I think some people use the word "force" instead of saying "manipulate". If you skillfully manipulate another person into accepting the idea of submitting--well, it happens. Ethically--it feels creepy to me, so I've never tried it, but I know someone who did it--and it worked for many years. Until the dom renegotiated a different arrangement, but did not withdraw his emotional submission. Sometimes when people fall in love, they'll do a lot of things.. experiment.. try to please the other. Some strange outcomes occur.

in another thread: I noticed how a poster commented on the incredible manipulations the OP of that thread used--and no one seemed to agree or comment on that observation. You read a lot of posts on here asking for advice and inside the 'storyline' there's incredible manipulations.. justified with careful rationalization. Most of us tend to do some maniuplations...whether we admit to it or not.

For the woman whose idea preciptated this thread -- forcing a switch in the d/s dynamic -- don't think the outcome will be a happy one for her if she tries it.

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RE: dom forced to submit, possible? - 10/11/2009 7:43:09 PM

DesFIP

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If I forced him to do anything that was against his nature, of course it would damage the relationship.

It would also damage me, and I'm not into self harm.

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RE: dom forced to submit, possible? - 10/11/2009 8:24:50 PM

hardbodysub

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Sorry, a typo in my prior message left a sentence making no sense. It should have read:

Whether subtle influence or overt coercion, dominance requires some method of coaxing submission from another if it's not initially offered without any action from the dominant.

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