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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/17/2009 2:32:09 PM

littlesarbonn

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Very recently, I was unemployed for about four or five months. My situation was unique, and it was extremely unfortunate for me. But what I found interesting was that I was sometimes treated differently because I was unemployed, and it was usually with a deal of disrespect. So I can see easily how someone might treat someone differently based on unemployment.

My situation was that of the economic climate. I was in South Korea working for a company that fell into bad times, and then I couldn't find work when I came home. And then I was viciously attacked by a group of thugs who robbed me and seriously injured me. Since then, I found employment in another part of the country, and things have started to really look up for me again. Moved into a nice, luxury apartment, and my job is great. But that time when I was unemployed sure opened up a window into how some people might treat you based on circumstances out of one's control.

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/17/2009 4:30:58 PM

SnowRanger

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I used to do seasonal work. Consequently, I was unemployed for at least a short stretch every six months or so. The 'on' season was rather lucrative; and I did have some opportunities to "take it easy" for a while.

That being said, there was just a bit of stand-offishness when I explained my circumstance to people. My vote is unappealing.

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/17/2009 5:54:17 PM

soul2share

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I was offered a chance to become a sub to a man who actually expected me to quit my job and be his house sub.....I told him nope, it ain't happening......I love my job, I need to feel like I'm contributing to the household...housework ain't my idea of contributing anything at all. If/when I enter into any kind of relationship, I will keep my job, and my earned money will be seperate from his. I work hard for my money, and will not hand it over to anyone....I did explain this to him, nicely, and he saw my points and left it as "You can decide when you want to quit your job. When you do, I will take care of you." Also, I have a few minor health things going on that I need the insurance for....I do NOT expect anyone to pick up those costs, and I won't be a financial burden to anyone. One of my GRD prescriptions is $800 a month.

Now, that said, I agree with those that follow the idea of the work ethic issue.....being unemployed happens to everyone, but I expect that the person will be out hitting the bricks, actively looking for work. Right now, as most know, I'm in a holding pattern waiting for a start date for my new job, and quite frankly, the first 4-5 days of not having to get up and go to work was cool....now, it TOTALLY sucks!!! I am totally bored.....I need to work, now! But again, that is my work ethic. I was taught that nothing comes for free, you work for what you want and get.

Personally, I will not get involved with anyone without a job, I work to support myself, and won't support anyone who is perfectly capable of getting a job, no matter what it is......and the whole "I'm too good for that job" thing doesn't fly either. I've done the flipping burgers at Mickey D's to help out the budget, a job is a job, and money is money. I have never treated someone not working any differently than someone who is......I know that shit happens, and no one is safe from the unemployment line anymore. I don't really care what the job is, you just need to have one!

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/17/2009 8:20:12 PM

AlexandraLynch

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At this point, while I sympathize with the jobless, a job is just simply required to live here, because I don't work outside the home. I have been active in lobbying for health care reform and have two books I'm working on, so I'm not watching soaps. I also am the household operations manager...I know where everything is, I do 99.9% of the cooking because I enjoy it, and manage things so that we get the most for the least cost. But we need another income for every person we add. I'll take a sub to stay home when I write the next Harry Potter novel, okay? (grin)

A lot of people have gotten hit by this depression, and so I don't take it a sign of moral failings. But it does have to be looked at on a case by case basis.

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/18/2009 5:30:40 AM

lobodomslavery

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Thanks littlesarbonn, like I say your experience shows when people experience it they will have a different attitude, a more positive attitude to the unemployed
Kevin

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/18/2009 5:49:40 AM

GeorgiaMaam

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Joined: 5/27/2009
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Since it was my journal entry that sparked this, I'll be happy to repost:

quote:

Yes, I know the economy is rough right now. Yes, I know that unemployment is very high and that good jobs are scarce. But for goodness sake - if you find yourself in the unfortunate position of being jobless, treat finding employment as your full time 60 hour a week job. Get your life in order before you start searching for a relationship.

I have had an influx of emails lately from the unemployed (and unemployable) wanting to move in with me as a full time "slave". Boys, let me tell you - that is NOT a career option for you, and frankly, that you consider it one says some very negative things about you as a person. Under no circumstances would I ever consider financially supporting a man, and under no circumstances would I ever have a man financially support me.

Life happens, and people lose their jobs. I understand that. It's a tough economy and it's more challenging to find a good job. I understand that as well.

But men - you need to know this, and I'll be the one woman that will be totally honest with you. An unemployed man - no matter the reason for that unemployment - is about as sexy and appealing as a man covered head to toe in plague boils, fungus, hives, scabbies AND wounds from that flesh eating virus.

It's not about the money. It's about being a productive adult who can put a roof over his head, clothes on his back, food on his plate, and save some extra for a rainy day. It's about being able to take care of the basics in life , taking personal responsibility, and not being a burden to others. Your ability to take care of yourself is a direct reflection of your ability to serve another in a potential BDSM relationship.

I'll say that again. Your ability to take care of yourself is a direct reflection of your ability to serve another in a potential BDSM relationship.

If you find yourself unemployed, then spend your time finding another job and developing new job skills if necessary. It is NOT the time to look for a woman who will let you continue to sleep late, sit around all day online and watching TV, and then do a load of laundry as your "contribution" to the running of the house while she's out all day earning a living.

I think that I make clear that I do understand that times are tough and people lose their jobs. However - is that the best time to be looking for a potential partner, or should you be spending your time looking for a new job or even improving skills to help you qualify for more jobs?

I agree that why someone is out of work is somewhat important, but frankly - most unemployed folks who have that strong work ethic will have their priorities straight - bang doors and find a new job, THEN worry about finding a kink partner.

Anyone who starts in about excuses why they aren't looking for a job (government conspiracies, corrupt bankers, disinterest in developing job skills, unwilling to work anything but one particular job with no flexibility, desire to "live as a slave" without any real grasp of what it would cost a dominant to let them do that, etc)....well, I have to admit, my ability to listen to them is non-existent. I will assume you're using that as an excuse to not look - you may feel that way but frankly plenty of people find jobs under just the same circumstances and DON'T accept the current economy as an excuse to not work.

I work hard for what I have. If I found myself out of work, getting another job and keeping a roof over my head would be my #1 priority. Is it surprising I'd expect no less from a potential partner?

< Message edited by GeorgiaMaam -- 10/18/2009 6:18:26 AM >

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/18/2009 6:18:40 AM

allthatjaz

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Well I wonder how we stand. Through the summer we made a conscious decision not to work. Neither of us have ever been unemployed. I even worked when my babes were in arms.
We made the decision because we wanted to sail and then do a re-fit on the boat and get her ready for a long voyage next summer. We had earned enough money between us to do this and budget with our savings.
So actually we did work very hard but we didn't earn a salary. Does that make a difference? I mean if someone was solvent and had enough money to spend some quality time doing things they wanted to do would that change things?

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/18/2009 7:45:23 AM

daintydimples

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My sub is currently unemployed. He got layed off from a very lucrative job in which he was a director. He's been looking for work for months and sets daily goals for himself in terms of networking, number of resumes out, etc. The last few months I have been encouraging him to get out and go to exercise classes because his lack of employment has been getting him down. And he's been doing that, he goes to a free tai chi class a couple times a week.

My point? I really think these days you have to factor in the economy.

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/18/2009 8:15:32 AM

allthatjaz

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I agree daintydimples and here lies another problem. If you have come out of employment with a good salary then you have probably lived to your means and have mortgage and credit insurance. During the good times a lot of people were enticed to borrow. For those that say you should go out and get any job I would like to know how this is possible because when you become re-employed your insurers stop paying your debters and it is highly unlikely that your new minimum wage is going to cover that.
Again to the ones that have said one should just get any job I can only say this.....
The minimum wage in the UK is something like £6 an hour. Take that over a 40 hour week and your going to be earning £240 a week. Take off £80 of that for tax and national insurance and your going to be left with around £160 a week. If you happen to live near London your rental on a small flat is going to be around £200 and then you have all your utility bills, your food, your car and the petrol it needs to get you to work and of course any debt that you owe.
So ok why not work overtime? companies at least in the UK are cutting the working week and trying to get overtime is just about impossible.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 10/18/2009 8:17:50 AM >

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/18/2009 12:01:28 PM

lobodomslavery

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Just to clarify I am looking for work. Every day. Im sending CVs to every employer I can find that is suitable for my talent. I have had no success so far. Not unlike a lot of people- hence we are unemployed. Im not sitting on my bum. Just throwing out a question that s all
Kevin

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RE: Are unemployed subs unappealing or just unfortunate - 10/18/2009 12:30:48 PM

LadyEllen

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I'm puzzled how a UK Employment Tribunal might award a sum of compensation in dollars, but there we go.

What skills do you have? You never know, someone here might be able to suggest something or even offer something.

E

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