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vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 2:18:29 PM

GrizzlyKiwi

Posts: 3
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline

Progessed from online to a few brief meetings,she is totally new to all bdsm,,spanking has been discussed as an beginning
She has said,she wants her panties pulled down,to be spanked bare.

I have heard these options for a first encounter to thier first spanking:

1)spanking on outside of jeans/skirt

2)with panties on(jeans pulled down,skirt lifted)

3) bare

I ask your thoughs and/or words of wisdom ,*as been long ago since I gave someone there first spank and intro to bdsm,normally the spankee wasnt virgin,so to speak*.

* first post,as above*

GK

Post #: 1

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 2:23:48 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

hey, if you wanna and she wannas, go with whatever the fuck you wanna.

Take it to the bank.

R

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Post #: 2

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 3:25:02 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Umm - discuss a safe word, pull down her panties and spank her!

Sounds like she might not be as vanilla as advertised. Or she is vanilla waiting to be flavour added.

edited to add - welcome to the boards. There can never be enough kiwis!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 3

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 3:26:56 PM

MissCake

Posts: 149
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline

Are you as new to this as she is? Don't over analyze it. It's just spankies, not breath play. Criminy.

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Post #: 4

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 3:31:30 PM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
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I dont consider spanking to really be BDSM. She can still be vanilla and want a little "naughty spice" and it can still be vanilla

Dont overanalyze and get the cart before the horse or you are likely to be rather disappointed if things dont continue to progress. Its only a spanking, so, spank her and leave it at that. Anything else time will tell.

DV

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Post #: 5

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 3:34:02 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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Does she want an erotic spanking or does she want an "I have been a bad girl and I deserve to be spanked" spanking or are they the same to her?

Too little is always better than too much...but I know you want to give her what she wants... so talk to her!

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Post #: 6

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 6:47:51 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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You've got a girl who tells you she wants to be spanked and you're drawing up charts about it and trying to figure out which label to affix?!?!?!

Hell, if you don't wanna spank her, send her to me.

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Post #: 7

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 7:19:36 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

So spank the fucking girl. Geez.

(in reply to GrizzlyKiwi)

Post #: 8

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 7:27:07 PM

GrizzlyKiwi

Posts: 3
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline

@ kiwisub12

discussed,and thanx

@ MissCake

That she is,new to the sence,or world of bdsm.

@ angelike

bad,naughty girl.

@ DarkSteven

What was list/labeled , was from what I have heard,from the answer here,there is no this way/that way for a first spanking... all three here,sounds good
find your own

@ A/all

Prehaps,I wasnt clear...S/sorry my bad... T/thank you A/all for the quick,speedy views.
a spanking awaits her

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 8:00:38 PM

AnonymouseTC

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Hey I give ya credit for at least thinking about these things a bit (even if a little too much)! Granted, spanking isn't exactly "edge play" but it can still encompass a HUGE variety of play and intensity levels, especially for somebody new who only has theoretical knowledge. So, like many things in life, you just gotta communicate a bit about interests and expectations and then trust that you will make sane decisions from there.

Have fun! :)

(in reply to GrizzlyKiwi)

Post #: 10

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 8:19:32 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

I personally prefer 2 or 3 (As the recipient). I have to ponder whether I've actually literally spanked someone...I don't think the many single-ass-slaps I've delivered as males close to me have sauntered by count as spanks but they surely got amusing results! :>
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 10/12/2009 8:23:37 PM >

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Post #: 11

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 8:41:01 PM

bravemax

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

And further proof that vanilla is just a word "kinky" people use to feel special.

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Post #: 12

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 8:42:12 PM

CNJDom

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline

If this is truly a first-time exploration for her (and you just may have to assume that it is), then you should show her an erotic spanking and just go slow. Keep checking in with her (not always verbally, but sometimes just take the time as you are building up to read her non-verbal communication or body language). Build up to a spank that would be considered a 4 or 5. After a couple of exploratory smacks at that level, ask her if she'd like it a bit harder, and if she says yes, then between a 5 and a 6. Let her take it in and if she is still on-board but having a little trouble processing the pain, then this is where you might want to help guide her in taking in and processing the stimulation. Not just spanking her, but also caressing her as you spank...be a little gentle, she's not a pain-slut and she's in exploratory mode. Good luck.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 13

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/12/2009 8:49:42 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
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Many 'nillas like the the spanky thing... be careful not to read too much into it. Try the spaky thing for a bit, then leave some BDSM books laying around to see if it captures her interest. If she asks about the books, say you were doing some research on this dynamic to be a world-class spanker. If she shows interest and starts reading the books, then download a BDSM Checklist and ask her to check off the things she might be interested in, and offer to do the same yourself.

Sample BDSM Checklist ---> http://www.bdsm-education.com/checklist.html

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Post #: 14

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/13/2009 6:29:39 AM

fadedshadow

Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline

it's just spanking. it's not like you're putting knives or bullets into her

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Post #: 15

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/13/2009 7:20:47 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hello GK,
Good for you for checking in! More people ought to be this concerned for their play partner's safety!
have fun,
sunshine

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Post #: 16

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/13/2009 7:26:09 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I ask your thoughts and/or words of wisdom ,*as been long ago since I gave someone there first spank and intro to bdsm,normally the spankee wasnt virgin,so to speak*.

Grizzly,
Remember, she's come to you for this sensation. Your involvement is what is going to make the experience enjoyable or not. She could get the same feeling attaching a piece of leather to a fan, turning it on, and backing into it; but she isn't. She wants something more, some emotional and/or mental exchange. You should talk to her and find out what that means.

You can make it a 'bad girl' scenario, or sensual. Next thing to consider is prep; consider 'foreplay' to the scene. Having a woman over your knee as talk to her while you rub, squeeze, and fondle intermingled with a stinging spank now and then; is a WONDERFUL experience. Take your time; start first over the clothes, then pants down by the knees, followed by the panties, with appropriate comments and more fondling along the way. You can remove her clothes yourself, or making her take each layer off slowing for your enjoyment; then have her again, 'assume the position'.

The problem most people have interjecting something like spanking into an otherwise 'vanilla' existence it that they think it would be 'weird' if they considered it sexual. Well, it is; even if it doesn't result in exchanging body fluids. Consider the spanking the 'climax'. Take your time getting there, build up to it.

Personally, my goal for any session, regardless of the spankee's 'experience', is to see the spankee's ass rise up and beg for the next spank. Being a sadist, I like it even better if the body language is verbalized. Hearing a sincere begging "Please... may I have another?!" satiates MY desire and is my pleasure.

Don't forget the most important ingredient - HAVE FUN!!!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 10/13/2009 7:43:00 AM >

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Post #: 17

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/13/2009 10:08:18 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Seems to Me that if she wants a spanking, she isn't exactly vanilla. Inexperienced, perhaps, but not non kinky.

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Post #: 18

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/13/2009 12:41:42 PM

SubOnlyForHim

Posts: 787
Joined: 8/19/2009
Status: offline

This thread gave me such awesome laughs. As a LOVER of receiving spankings, all i can say is JUST DO IT!

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Post #: 19

RE: vanilla wants a spanking - 10/13/2009 6:36:09 PM

Huntertn

Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline

well just put her over the knee and do it...and anything else you can think of..lol

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Post #: 20

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