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RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 5:52:57 PM   
ShaktiSama


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
Shakti I'm going to say this only once.

I don't want to kill you, imprison you, torture you, starve you, or put you in a gas chamber.


No, that would probably be too much like work.  Murder, imprisonment, torture, starvation and execution are probably a little strenuous for your taste; you'd rather leave that sort of labor to the men and stay the "Kinder Kirche and Kuche" type.

Doesn't matter.  Women like you still helped to criminalize feminism, have laws passed against women's rights, and get feminists arrested and murdered as political prisoners.  So don't feel bad, sweetie.  You're just as bad and destructive as a concentration camp guard in your own little way.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Elisabella)
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RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 5:53:58 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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~FR

WOW! all these years and i find out TODAY that i was wrong.  Feminism ISNT about choices, its about what someone decides is best for me.  learn something new everyday.

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
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RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:07:14 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Elisabella,

I was wondering, do you agree with the general thrust of the arguments stated on this webpage?

http://degreesofmoderation.blogspot.com/2008/04/conservative-feminist-defined-holds.html

It's a site that tries to define 'conservative feminism'. 


Yes, definitely. There are a few points that I'm iffy about, but the vast majority of their beliefs are mine as well.

Thanks for the link BTW.


Then, you are a feminist, Elisabella.  You're not an anti-feminist, though you may well be an anti-radical-feminist.  Your blog focuses a great deal on radical feminists and this branch is a long way from mainstream feminism.   To exemplify feminism as a whole by citing the likes of Andrea Dworkin is like lumping Gordon Brown, or the average trade unionist, in with Karl Marx. 

Points three and four on that site state that a conservative feminist:

  • Demands equal pay for equal work.

  • Understands there are differences between genders. To deny biology is inherently imbecilic. Men are able to do many things that require strength that women either cannot or prefer not to do – Women are able to do many things given their biological make-up that men are incapable of doing. Celebrate who you are.
     
    Those are very widely accepted by mainstream feminists.  Re point four: Few are willing to state that everything, absolutely everything, about the differences between the sexes is down to nurture and not nature.  It'll generally only vary in the matter of degree.  On the other hand, re point three: the demand for equal pay for equal work still hasn't been satisfied and white, middle class, educated women may well be in a better position to know this than others.  This is why such women, when they fight for equal pay may - completely legitimately - call themselves feminists.  They can trace a very clear line from themselves right back to the Pankhursts and the other suffragists (who themselves were mainly white, educated and middle class). 

    As I said earlier, feminism is about women being able to be who they are and doing what they want to do.  In setting up your blog, in writing here on this forum, you've benefitted from feminism.  Yes, I know we owe the existence of computers and the Internet to a few men.  Yet the problem's more fundamental.  For instance, I know of schools in the UK that have only recently extended teaching of computing to girls.  Without recent feminists doing their stuff, you may not now be typing on this forum nor, for that matter, even know what a forum is; or - perhaps more importantly - care.

    In general, I don't believe that you're at all clear about who you're attacking when you set yourself against feminism as a whole!



  • It would be nice if that were true, but there's really nothing I've posted on this thread that would be contrary to anything listed on that site, so either everyone on this thread is a radical feminist or there isn't much place for conservative feminists under the general 'feminist' umbrella.

    I also identify with plenty of things written by self-identified antifeminists:

    quote:


    Antifeminist writer Jim Kalb describes the stance thus:
    To be antifeminist is simply to accept that men and women differ and rely on each other to be different, and to view the differences as among the things constituting human life that should be reflected where appropriate in social attitudes and institutions. By feminist standards all societies have been thoroughly sexist. It follows that to be antifeminist is only to abandon the bigotry of a present-day ideology that sees traditional relations between the sexes as simply a matter of domination and submission, and to accept the validity of the ways in which human beings have actually dealt with sex, children, family life and so on. Antifeminism is thus nothing more than the rejection of one of the narrow and destructive fantasies of an age in which such things have been responsible for destruction and murder on an unprecedented scale


    I don't really see much difference between conservative feminism and antifeminism, except perhaps in degree. I don't think any mainstream antifeminists want to overturn legislation giving women equal legal rights. To me, antifeminism is anti-modern-day-feminism, not anti-all-feminism-throughout-history, because the feminism that Shakti and Lucienne and Aynne have defended on this thread seems to encompass the beliefs shared by most modern self-identified feminists.

    Most women my age don't identify as feminists, which goes back to what I said earlier about the work of first-wave feminists (voting, working) and the work of second-wave feminists (equal pay for equal work) having been acutalized. Women do, on average, make less than men do but that's a reflection of different career choices for women. If you compare men and women in the same profession, same location, same education and same experience, that difference disappears. Honestly if you could hire a woman for 77% of the cost of hiring a man, who would hire men? It would be bad business.

    So those women who do identify as feminists identify as active feminists - women who want to change our current society into a more feminist one. Antifeminism and conservative feminism both seem opposed to modern mainstream feminism.

    I guess it's just a matter of terminology.

    (in reply to PeonForHer)
    Profile   Post #: 303
    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:09:30 PM   
    Elisabella


    Posts: 3939
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Elisabella
    Shakti I'm going to say this only once.

    I don't want to kill you, imprison you, torture you, starve you, or put you in a gas chamber.


    No, that would probably be too much like work.  Murder, imprisonment, torture, starvation and execution are probably a little strenuous for your taste; you'd rather leave that sort of labor to the men and stay the "Kinder Kirche and Kuche" type.

    Doesn't matter.  Women like you still helped to criminalize feminism, have laws passed against women's rights, and get feminists arrested and murdered as political prisoners.  So don't feel bad, sweetie.  You're just as bad and destructive as a concentration camp guard in your own little way.


    I am so done with replying to you. You're freaking nuts.

    (in reply to ShaktiSama)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:14:23 PM   
    Lucienne


    Posts: 1175
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Lucienne

    That you read my comment as an attack on the reliability of wikipedia is all the evidence I need that further attempts to explain to you your error will be fruitless.


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

    Tis but a scratch, I've had worse.


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Lucienne

    I tried to get you to put the knife down.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

    It's just a flesh wound!


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Lucienne
    Carry on.



    quote:

    ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

    Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!


    (in reply to Lucienne)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:19:56 PM   
    ShaktiSama


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Elisabella


    I don't really see much difference between conservative feminism and antifeminism, except perhaps in degree.


    Agreed.  "Conservative feminism" is just a ploy to market anti-feminism to women who have to work for a living.  The appeal to male supremacist ideology in the "men are different and better" section is a dead giveaway that there's nothing truly progressive or egalitarian intended.

    As for whether the majority of women self-identify as feminists?  I think the majority of all human beings are apathetic at best--and there are far more women who identify as feminists than women who are willing to waste time and energy arguing with anti-progressives on a web forum.

    The chorus of women who bleat "Feminism isn't about real women's choices!" in this thread, and who turn out to be abject TPE female submissives when you check their profiles, is getting a little pathetic.  Get this through your heads, ladies--no one cares about your personal life.

    Female submission does not need to be institutionalized just because it makes you wet, any more than your Male Dominant partner needs to go to work every morning in a speedo and start the day getting his female boss a cup of coffee and polishing her boots with his tongue, just because some male submissive somewhere might enjoy that fantasy in his private life.

    < Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 10/26/2009 6:20:44 PM >


    _____________________________

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    -- Robert A. Heinlein

    (in reply to Elisabella)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:45:17 PM   
    Louve00


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Lucienne

    Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!


    The first thing I thought of when I read that was the Monty Python skit when the soldiers sliced his arms and legs off and walked away and he was left there as a stump....yelling the very same thing!

    But getting back to the thread...Peon, in fairness to Elisabella, she did say some of the things in the link you posted were 'iffy' to her, before you denied her (tried to take away from her) her right to say whatever she associates herself as.  Until this day, I never associated myself as a feminist at all.  Yet there are things I feel should be more fair to females.  Maybe I fall into the category that ShatkiSama defined.   Maybe I'm just satisfied to settle for the best of a females allowances and privileges because she is a woman, and the freedoms other women have fought for that I benefit from.  Maybe it comes from the fact that I grew up in a family not very financially stable, yet lived in the midst of people who were, and early on accepted that life just sometimes isn't fair, and you sometimes have to make lemonaide with those lemons, instead of complain about them.  Maybe (just maybe), I like things just the way they are, including being a woman and all the not quite fair things they endure.  I happen to think there are two sides to every coin though.  What hell a woman goes thru is different than what hell a man goes thru, but I do believe both sexes catch their own brand of hell.  I'm not defending one sex anymore over another, nor am I defending one person anymore over another.  To me, its just life and its how I feel.  And I am not going to obsess over it.



    _____________________________

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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:45:46 PM   
    aidan


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
    Then, you are a feminist, Elisabella.
    [...]
    In general, I don't believe that you're at all clear about who you're attacking when you set yourself against feminism as a whole!


    No. Dude, just...no.

    She's made it very clear that she is clear on who her enemies are, and that she is avowedly not a feminist. It is okay for her to make the "choice" to be a classical subservient female, but gods forbid that there be a social apparatus or status quo that allows for their to be viable alternatives to that model for anybody else.

    And Elisabella, as to not wanting Shakti, me and people like us in the camps...well, yeah, maybe not directly, but you only need look at the company you keep on your side of things. I don't think your masters will be too kind to me and mine if they get the upper hand.

    But don't worry, we'll make sure you can have your lifestyle of choice in your own privacy. We're just making sure the rest of civilization doesn't have to live the same way.


    _____________________________

    Do what now?

    "I aim to misbehave."
    -Mal Reynolds

    (in reply to PeonForHer)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:50:05 PM   
    Aynne88


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Elisabella

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Aynne88

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Aynne88
    I am genuinely curious how a woman can run an anti-feminist site.


    The same way a Jew can help to run a Nazi death camp.  They were called kapos.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kapo_(concentration_camp)

    Women like Elisabella are the modern day equivalent.  Nothing new or special about it.  Some people have a higher allegiance to an oppressive system than they ever will have to members of "their own kind"--whatever we might construe that phrase to mean.

    As for her posts about paternity leave--yeah, it is increasingly clear the more she talks how completely ignorant she is on virtually every topic.  No one who talks this way has ever brought a child into the world; judging by her moronic dribbling about how men should only take "a few days off" when a newborn comes into the house, I'd be surprised if she's even been responsible for babysitting any infant for more than an hour in her life. 

    In short, she has no idea what she is talking about with regard to any subject.  But she sure does love to say what "the Man" wants to hear, doesn't she?  


    Seriously, I have never heard a girl speak solely and transparently for the purpose of pleasing men as this. It is mind bogglingly apparent that Elisabella only says what she believes the male gender wants her to say, hoping for a pat on the head. I found the website, it's on word press, it's an easy google search. It also speaks volumes. The entries re: President Obama alone are enlightening to say the least Shakti.  



    *laughs*

    Now that is funny.

    First of all there are only three men on the planet I'll temper my words for. My fiance, my father, and my brother. Although there's only one woman (my mother) now that my grandmother's passed, so maybe I do 'please men' more than I please women. I can't help the genetic makeup of my family though.

    See the thing is, you have it in your head that a traditional life for women is this awful submissive role we're forced into. I guess that's why right now I'm laying in bed reading collarme while my fiance is at work. Yeah housework does suck, but at least I can do it on my own schedule not my boss's. I'm going to get a job outside the home while we save for a house but you really don't know what a relief it is to not have to be the primary breadwinner. Especially because I get awful menstrual cycles and my fiance understands that 3 days out of the month I'm totally useless. I don't think a boss would be so understanding.

    My fiance doesn't cook or do laundry or any of that, but honestly unless I'm really exhausted I like cooking for him. I like being able to do that for him, for him to think as he leaves work that he's just going to have to sit down and relax and he'll get dinner. It's actually really empowering to have the home as my domain, to be the CEO of it or whatever.

    I'm sorry but you are just so off base with your accusations that it makes me laugh. I'm not a victim of the patriarchy, I'm a spoiled middle class housewife who gets to use my inheritance on handbags instead of rent.

    Oh. The horror. Poor fucking me.

    *laughs*

    Go on now and save more women from their own choices. I'm sure they'll be soooo grateful.



    Oh Elisabella you tire me. I am unmarried, feminist, childless by choice because I don't like children, and no one forces me into any fucking roles. You are a what? Spoiled middle class housewife? Where? In the fantasy reel in your head? Handbags not rent? Who the fuck in the middle class rents? You aren't even married, let alone a middle class housewife. Which, by the way, sounds about as exciting as a trip to WalMart for a frozen dinner. Ugh. Aim higher. Oh, spoiled to you maybe, if your standards of being spoiled are far far different than mine. Just the fact that for 3 days a robust looking 20 something girl is physically rendered useless because of her period is enough to base the assumption that you my dear girl are a drama queen. With a penchant for creating a life in the virtual world that suits whatever argument you are having at the moment. Hey, it's fine, you won't be the first, but at least make the stories a bit more plausible. Lastly, this whole idea you have that all feminists ascribe to victim feminism is horribly incorrect, power feminism lives and breathes too sweetie. 


    _____________________________

    As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
    —Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



    (in reply to Elisabella)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:51:13 PM   
    Lucienne


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: aidan

    But don't worry, we'll make sure you can have your lifestyle of choice in your own privacy. We're just making sure the rest of civilization doesn't have to live the same way.



    Hear, Hear!

    (in reply to aidan)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:58:16 PM   
    Level


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    Is there a Reader's Digest condensed version of the thread? No? *sighs*

    People being treated like people, irregardless of gender? Good.

    Hate/ill treatment, just because you do/don't have a dick? Bad.

    Easy concepts, in an uneasy, and difficult, world.




    _____________________________

    Fake the heat and scratch the itch
    Skinned up knees and salty lips
    Let go it's harder holding on
    One more trip and I'll be gone

    ~~ Stone Temple Pilots

    (in reply to aidan)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 6:59:07 PM   
    Venatrix


    Posts: 2238
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Elisabella
    Women do, on average, make less than men do but that's a reflection of different career choices for women. If you compare men and women in the same profession, same location, same education and same experience, that difference disappears.


    No, it doesn't.  As the following link shows, men often make more money than women for doing the same job, even when they are employed in traditionally "pink collar" professions.

    http://www.now.org/issues/economic/factsheet.html#

    You speak very well and convincingly, which makes me fear that other people may mistake your drivel for the truth.  You aren't a feminist, so please stop trying to masquerade as a more reasonable version of one.

    (in reply to Elisabella)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 7:01:08 PM   
    Kimveri


    Posts: 783
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    ~FR~

    Until today, I have only ever had to explain this to ignorant, sexually-obsessed males but....there's a first time for everything, I guess!

    Do NOT mistake my choice of 'label' {"submissive"} for this site as either sexual OR absolute. This site is, for the most part, about relationships. With that in mind, the 'label' I selected is indicative of my current relationship & NOT definitive of my whole self. With a very few people, irrespective of gender, I naturally react submissively...even at times that have ZERO to do with sexuality. With most people I am anything BUT submissive & with many I couldn't force a facsimile of 'submission' if my life depended upon it. They are incapable of arousing that reaction from me.

    When someone of quality {please note that there is no comparative adjective there... i.e. "more"} becomes an integral part of my life & merits, through their own actions & ethics, my respect AND my natural response to them is one of a more submissive bent, my synapses do NOT cease to fire, I do not become instantly & uncontrollably sexually aroused, & I do not forget all that I know of ethics, morality & my own highest values.

    The people who are so driven to dismiss everyone who is not like them will one day stop breeding & teaching their hatred & humans will learn to love themselves as well as each other FOR the beautiful span of diversity we encompass, rather than 'in spite of" it. Until that day, I stand firmly where I stand & eagerly await all tests of my convictions.

    ~Kimveri





    _____________________________

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    "It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 7:06:15 PM   
    OrionTheWolf


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    Some of that is funny, but still avoids the issues.

    _____________________________

    When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

    (in reply to Lucienne)
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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 7:11:34 PM   
    Elisabella


    Posts: 3939
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Aynne88


    Oh Elisabella you tire me. I am unmarried, feminist, childless by choice because I don't like children, and no one forces me into any fucking roles. You are a what? Spoiled middle class housewife? Where? In the fantasy reel in your head? Handbags not rent? Who the fuck in the middle class rents?



    Who the fuck in the middle class rents? People my age, dumbfuck.

    My parents bought their house when I was born, when my mom was 30. Like I said in my other post we're currently saving for a house, and we're about halfway to the down payment.

    quote:


    You aren't even married, let alone a middle class housewife. Which, by the way, sounds about as exciting as a trip to WalMart for a frozen dinner. Ugh.


    Yeah but there's no term for "house-fiancee" - the word gets the point across.

    quote:

    Aim higher. Oh, spoiled to you maybe, if your standards of being spoiled are far far different than mine.


    You're nearly 40. I'm 26. The stage of life you're in is the one I'm laying foundations for. Get over yourself.

    And for the record my definition of being spoiled = having a life that makes me genuinely happy, without having to suffer or sacrifice to get it.

    quote:

    Just the fact that for 3 days a robust looking 20 something girl is physically rendered useless because of her period is enough to base the assumption that you my dear girl are a drama queen.


    PMDD and PCOS. Google it and by the way fuck you. Are you so fucking pathetic that the best you can say in response to antifeminism is "you should have a house and your periods aren't as bad as you think they are?"

    < Message edited by Elisabella -- 10/26/2009 7:12:49 PM >

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    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 7:23:42 PM   
    Elisabella


    Posts: 3939
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Venatrix

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Elisabella
    Women do, on average, make less than men do but that's a reflection of different career choices for women. If you compare men and women in the same profession, same location, same education and same experience, that difference disappears.


    No, it doesn't.  As the following link shows, men often make more money than women for doing the same job, even when they are employed in traditionally "pink collar" professions.

    http://www.now.org/issues/economic/factsheet.html#

    You speak very well and convincingly, which makes me fear that other people may mistake your drivel for the truth.  You aren't a feminist, so please stop trying to masquerade as a more reasonable version of one.


    You're right, I'm not a feminist. Which is why I never once claimed to be.

    I'm reading that PDF now but it seems to actually support my view - it points out that men and women work in different fields, and while it does do general comparisons by academic major it also points out that women are more likely to work in lower paying sectors (ie biology teacher vs. biologist, human rights lawyer vs corporate attorney) but I'll keep reading it.

    More interesting stats:

    quote:

    "Warren Farrell tried to tackle this issue in his book "Why Men Earn More." Through his studies he found the women entrepreneurs earn 50% less than their Male counterparts. He also concludes that the wage differences are due to life choices. "Men and women make 25 work-life choices that actually created the wage gap." Money motivator for Men 76%, women 25%.

    So we already see that women make less as entrepreneurs and they don't have money as a motivator. Those are two good reasons to make less in a job. Not so fast. Warren states that "when a Male and a female civil engineer both stay with their respective companies for ten years, travel and relocate equally and take the same career risks, the woman ends up making more." Further more, "among workers who have never been married and never had children, women earn 117% of what Men do. (This factors in education, hours worked and age.)"

    Women are also more unlikely to take a high risk job. Construction work can be good, decent paying work, but women won't work these jobs. Men represent 92% of all occupational deaths. (Not Fair! I want equality there!) Therefore, we can't take those kinds of opportunities into account. Here are 39 jobs that woman make more than Men. So we start to see that pay must be taken on a case by case basis, but many times Men come out on the short side of the stick of "Equal work for Equal pay."

    So how far exactly does this equality thing have to go? Men currently make up only 42 percent of the nation's college students. Men make less in many job fields with all things being equal. If we continue it won't be long before Men are calling for equality. Warren Farrell actually offers the argument to use affirmative action to fix areas where woman currently are behind, this feminist disagrees. Another feminist, Carey Roberts states, "According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, full-time Men clock an average of 45 hours a week, while women put in 42 hours. Men are more than twice as likely as women to work at least 50 hours a week - that's why most CEOs are male. Only in a socialist economy do employees get paid the same, regardless of the number of hours worked.""

    (in reply to Venatrix)
    Profile   Post #: 316
    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 7:24:44 PM   
    pyroaquatic


    Posts: 1535
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    This thread is trashed.

    In other news... my fantasy is definitely NOT going to work in a speedo and licking my boss-ladies boots after giving her coffee.

    I don't look good in a speedo, i don't think.


    _____________________________

    You are what your deep, driving desire is.
    As your desire is, so is your will.
    As your will is, so is your deed.
    As your deed is, so is your destiny.
    -Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

    (in reply to Lucienne)
    Profile   Post #: 317
    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 7:25:29 PM   
    Level


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    Warren Farrell; smart fella.

    _____________________________

    Fake the heat and scratch the itch
    Skinned up knees and salty lips
    Let go it's harder holding on
    One more trip and I'll be gone

    ~~ Stone Temple Pilots

    (in reply to Elisabella)
    Profile   Post #: 318
    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 7:39:36 PM   
    Venatrix


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    Status: offline
    Thank you for that quotation, Elisabella.  You didn't, however, address the point I raised:  that men doing the SAME job as a woman tend to earn more.  Once again, you obfuscate.  Please explain why it is fair that a man doing the SAME job, under the same circumstances, should be paid more.  Is it because he has a dick?  Does that mean that male nurses with larger dicks should be paid more than male nurses with smaller dicks?  Or could it possibly be that women are still being discriminated against simply because they are women?

    As far as your being a feminist, I know you aren't one, even a badly disguised one, but you seem to have convinced some of the more gullible on this board that you might be a warm, fuzzy feminist, something that I find rather frightening.  If you're a feminist, we're all screwed.

    (in reply to Elisabella)
    Profile   Post #: 319
    RE: Feminism - 10/26/2009 7:44:52 PM   
    ModeratorEleven


    Posts: 2007
    Joined: 8/14/2005
    Status: offline
    Folks, this thread passed "out of hand" a few exits back.  Discuss the topic if you like but drop the attacks and namecalling.  If you can't manage that, move along.

    Thank you. 

    XI



    _____________________________

    This mod goes to eleven.

    (in reply to Venatrix)
    Profile   Post #: 320
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