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ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: "I need you to make me all I should be" (10/13/2009 9:47:32 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama
Honestly, the pleas that I see in some profiles, of men desperately looking for direction, authority and wisdom in their lives, sometimes make me very sad. I can only imagine the despair that a person like this must feel when they see that need so flippantly dismissed by someone who doesn't even know them. The automatic assumption is that because you need someone to be the Light of Your Life, that you're automatically vapid and weak--rather than just driven by a deep emotional and spiritual need.
The question that tears at many a submissive's heart and mind is not How to Live, but Why. I'm not going to say that this is true of all the men who ask for someone to take them in hand--I'm sure some of them are probably just lazy or looking for a meal ticket/free ride/"get out of life free" card. But in many cases, "make me the man I should be" is really the cry of the ronin--the samurai without a master. What he's really saying is "give me a cause to fight for, a home to build and defend, a reason to get up every morning and do my best and to lie down at night knowing that what I've done was right, because it was for you."
Some submissives simply aren't able to worship in the Temple of Me the way many of us do. They aren't able to cultivate standard Western-style narcissism, where "I'm awesome" is the only reason you need to live. They know what the world expects or wants from them, but the world hasn't really impressed them much and they haven't really seen much reason to care. They need to live for something greater than themselves--something beautiful that inspires passion.
Wow. I don't know what it is that's inspired your household tonight, but between the pair of you, you've just written two of the most beautiful and insightful posts I've read here in a very long time. Thank you.
Yours was especially moving. You wrote that as though you were reading it directly from my heart. I"m one of the most self-sufficient, self-contained people I've ever met, and in many ways it only works against me. Almost everyone who knows me thinks, "Oh, that Panda. He doesn't need anyone. He's happy, and always doing so much cool stuff on his own." What none of them ever even imagine is that, paradoxically, it's because I'm so self-contained that I need someone to serve - everything within my own life, my own orbit, is so orderly and so self-sustaining, it's almost impossible for me to find anything inside of me to challenge myself, to inspire passion. I need something else to orbit around, some larger mass, something - as you say - greater than myself to give me a sense of purpose more inspiring than simply managing my own life. Passion - true passion - lies in the regions beyond my orbit, further than I'm able to reach by myself. I know that my life has always worked best when I've had that bright, stable star in the center of my universe, someone whose gravity was strong enough to hold me stable while I spin at velocities high enough to soar through those distant altitudes.
Do I need to be fixed? No. I work fine. I just work much better when I have some purpose greater than myself to serve, and to me, there is no greater purpose than love. Thank you for understanding that so well, and putting it so eloquently.
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