quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

...the older generation were responsible for causing this divide by continually putting down the younger BDSMers.
I tend to agree with this. On the one hand I think its great that we are getting the younger crowd through. The days of going to clubs full of oldies are quickly diminishing and we are seeing more and more fresh young faces joining us.

quote:

Justme wrote...Older people forget often how young they once were and that brings me to ask, is that why some people are so intolerant of the younger Doms on here?

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Thanks for the replies.
I think there will always be TNG groups, Ladies munches, Domme munches and I don't think there is anything wrong with that but the observation that this guy spoke about last night was interesting and one that I thought would make a reasonable debate.
From the replies it looks like just about everyone is chilled about it and so am I.
Justme wrote...Older people forget often how young they once were and that brings me to ask, is that why some people are so intolerant of the younger Doms on here?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Fr

older people forget often how young they once were.

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

This topic comes about after a recent conversation with a friend of mine on the scene. He is in his 40s and his sub in her late 20s. They do most things together and are clearly very much a pair but recently she has been invited to a local under 30s munch. There are many under 30 and under 35 munches in the UK now. They have told him that he can go but won't be able to sit with the group. If he goes he will have to hang around at the bar. He wasn't complaining and said that if anything the older generation were responsible for causing this divide by continually putting down the younger BDSMers.
I tend to agree with this. On the one hand I think its great that we are getting the younger crowd through. The days of going to clubs full of oldies are quickly diminishing and we are seeing more and more fresh young faces joining us. I have always embraced the part of BDSM which is not ageist or was I living under some kind of illusion?
I am not talking about a young sub not wanting to date a young Dom 'because of inexperience'. We all have our personal preference when it comes to love matching. I am talking about the mouthy older generation that put down the younger folk, especially young Doms on boards such as this. I have seen the followers of the 'old guard' preach from their parapets that these young Doms can't possibly know what they are doing.
Is this preaching partly responsible for creating sub groups and are these sub groups now becoming ageist?

A new club has started in London. I would say its a fairly hard core venue with a great underground feel about it and its most certainly not ageist. The interesting observation several of us have made is that its full of young hard core players. Because of this several older Dom/Dommes have started moaning loudly about this and berating the club for being like a youth club. This in turn is putting off the older BDSMers who don't want to look out of place amongst so many fresh young faces.
Who is causing the divide here?

I think to an extent, if there are enough people involved then sub groups will naturally form but do you think we will reach the stage where young and old will no longer mix? I think its a great shame if it does but I for one won't be blaming the younger crowd because when you see the shit they have to take, who could blame them?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Folks who are willing to practice what is taught are becoming rare and they are often drowned out by the white noise of a hundred others who aren't nearly as sincere as those very few are.  It can be very disappointing and take the joy out of teaching in the first place.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Fr

older people forget often how young they once were.

It may surprise you to learn we continue to feel young inside. We do not forget. We do not grow old within. We may slow a bit but our passions are still there. It is often a surprise when someone reminds me of my age. I remember my chronological age only when I happen to pass by a mirror. lol! Then, holy shit! Who is that old dude? It is the exterior that betrays us. Sigh.

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

This topic comes about after a recent conversation with a friend of mine on the scene. He is in his 40s and his sub in her late 20s. They do most things together and are clearly very much a pair but recently she has been invited to a local under 30s munch. There are many under 30 and under 35 munches in the UK now. They have told him that he can go but won't be able to sit with the group. If he goes he will have to hang around at the bar. He wasn't complaining and said that if anything the older generation were responsible for causing this divide by continually putting down the younger BDSMers.
I tend to agree with this. On the one hand I think its great that we are getting the younger crowd through. The days of going to clubs full of oldies are quickly diminishing and we are seeing more and more fresh young faces joining us. I have always embraced the part of BDSM which is not ageist or was I living under some kind of illusion?
I am not talking about a young sub not wanting to date a young Dom 'because of inexperience'. We all have our personal preference when it comes to love matching. I am talking about the mouthy older generation that put down the younger folk, especially young Doms on boards such as this. I have seen the followers of the 'old guard' preach from their parapets that these young Doms can't possibly know what they are doing.
Is this preaching partly responsible for creating sub groups and are these sub groups now becoming ageist?

A new club has started in London. I would say its a fairly hard core venue with a great underground feel about it and its most certainly not ageist. The interesting observation several of us have made is that its full of young hard core players. Because of this several older Dom/Dommes have started moaning loudly about this and berating the club for being like a youth club. This in turn is putting off the older BDSMers who don't want to look out of place amongst so many fresh young faces.
Who is causing the divide here?

I think to an extent, if there are enough people involved then sub groups will naturally form but do you think we will reach the stage where young and old will no longer mix? I think its a great shame if it does but I for one won't be blaming the younger crowd because when you see the shit they have to take, who could blame them?

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

This topic comes about after a recent conversation with a friend of mine on the scene. He is in his 40s and his sub in her late 20s. They do most things together and are clearly very much a pair but recently she has been invited to a local under 30s munch. There are many under 30 and under 35 munches in the UK now. They have told him that he can go but won't be able to sit with the group. If he goes he will have to hang around at the bar. He wasn't complaining and said that if anything the older generation were responsible for causing this divide by continually putting down the younger BDSMers.
I tend to agree with this. On the one hand I think its great that we are getting the younger crowd through. The days of going to clubs full of oldies are quickly diminishing and we are seeing more and more fresh young faces joining us. I have always embraced the part of BDSM which is not ageist or was I living under some kind of illusion?
I am not talking about a young sub not wanting to date a young Dom 'because of inexperience'. We all have our personal preference when it comes to love matching. I am talking about the mouthy older generation that put down the younger folk, especially young Doms on boards such as this. I have seen the followers of the 'old guard' preach from their parapets that these young Doms can't possibly know what they are doing.
Is this preaching partly responsible for creating sub groups and are these sub groups now becoming ageist?

A new club has started in London. I would say its a fairly hard core venue with a great underground feel about it and its most certainly not ageist. The interesting observation several of us have made is that its full of young hard core players. Because of this several older Dom/Dommes have started moaning loudly about this and berating the club for being like a youth club. This in turn is putting off the older BDSMers who don't want to look out of place amongst so many fresh young faces.
Who is causing the divide here?

I think to an extent, if there are enough people involved then sub groups will naturally form but do you think we will reach the stage where young and old will no longer mix? I think its a great shame if it does but I for one won't be blaming the younger crowd because when you see the shit they have to take, who could blame them?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana
Hmmmm... I am in a situation where there is a big age difference between my spouse and me. And one of the reasons I never attend "youth groups" in the scene is the fact that I'm not allowed to have my spouse with me. I don't know why he's considered such a threat that he's not allowed to sit next to me while I talk to my age-peers, find that actually a bit childish. Either we are both welcome or neither of us are. Amazingly I've never been unwelcome due to my age when he's with his age-peers. I think that says alot.... about alot.

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30



secondly, I never got any lip for being a young dom. if anything, I get compliments about my profile with the occasional diagnosis of narcissism. I also never complained about things such as not being taken seriously...which is usually where most of the ire at younger doms is directed (and rightfully so). and to be fair, there is something worthy of being criticised in a 18-25 year old's profile that exclaims he or she has been 'in the life' for over a decade.

quote:

ORIGINAL: looking4princess

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Fr

older people forget often how young they once were.

It may surprise you to learn we continue to feel young inside. We do not forget. We do not grow old within. We may slow a bit but our passions are still there. It is often a surprise when someone reminds me of my age. I remember my chronological age only when I happen to pass by a mirror. lol! Then, holy shit! Who is that old dude? It is the exterior that betrays us. Sigh.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Folks who are willing to practice what is taught are becoming rare and they are often drowned out by the white noise of a hundred others who aren't nearly as sincere as those very few are.  It can be very disappointing and take the joy out of teaching in the first place.

but when you come across those that refute this comment it truly is a wonderful experience. i know my mentor was fortunate and she felt very much the same. if anything it i did too much, but that's another thread.

i find i'm very selective about who i take on. i spend a lot of time getting to know the person first, their habits, and listen to what they're seeking in and outside of the lifestyle. i have found this approach works well, particularly in situations that will be long term. i'm hopeful that your talents won't go to waste. it would be a sincere pity if no one benefited.

porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

There is a natural divide; My son is in college now, and although when I am around he and his friends, I think highly of them, they are a great bunch of guys.
But I can't see them from any other perspective than a father, looking at a bunch of 20 something kids.

I don't mean to overstate it; I also work with 20 somethings, and they are terrifically talented, and we get along great. And sometimes I do join them after work for drinks or whatever.

But ultimately, there is still a subtle gap between people who are just starting out on the upward curve of marriage, children, homemaking, and those like me who are at the other end of that curve, becoming emptynesters, looking ahead someday to grandchildren, planning the second half of our lives. There are no villains here, just a natural tendency of people to self-segregate according to interests and shared perspectives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustStephen

One doesn't have to be in the lifestyle for a decade to be good at what one does and neither does one have to be middle aged.
A guy I know well and who is only 25 and been into this for 5 years or so is not only one of the more respected Doms on the London scene but runs workshops and donates all the money to The Spanner Trust, puts on the most fantastic interrogation performances and has successfully and happily kept a poly household for four years. Age didn't stop him from being good and so
we shouldn't presume that because a guys young he doesn't really know what he is doing.
About two years ago I was in a club when the paramedics arrived to revive a young woman that had been bondaged by her older Master. He had put the ropes on so tightly that all circulation had stopped and when she fainted he didn't have the common sense to cut those ropes off. Fools are around regardless of age.

Maria