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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 5:06:24 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Spankings arent usually punishment, they are usually fun. However with that said I do spank hard, however when my hand starts to hurt I switch to heavy wooden backscrubber brush which ususally is about all my sub can handle (he is a masochist so yeah it hurts). Now for punishment I find making him kneel on uncooked rice works quite effectively in correcting bad behavior. That isn't fun, at least for him, my sadisitic side gets a bit of a kick out of it.

Lashra

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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 8:20:56 AM

HarshReality

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/7/2006
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MstrssPassion

I pulled my old profile and opended up a new one which is simple and to the point, as for why I don't see ProDom's anymore; Well I have Lost all hope with them, Cold discipline form someone who care only about business was not for me, I was looking for something more on an emotional level, That last Pro I saw did it all in for me, She has extreme hyper rage, of which I feel is becoming more out of control, She's going to really injure someone real soon, this brings me to why I don't want to be a Slave. Most of all the Dominant women hear demand total obedience without question, The poor subject has no rights whatsoever not even the right to state his desires and interests, I have even be told that I MUST GIVE UP ALL MY FRIENDS and no longer communicate with them. Just this pass month here in N.Y.C two young people was murdered while doing BDSM games, If I don't have a right to even ask a potential mistress for her pic, ( The Pic is what helps build TRUST ) How do I know if she is what she say she is, I have be emailed by men pretending to be women, Unconditional surrender to a complete stranger without any questions to me is highly dangerous, I will only surrender to a woman worthy of that surrender someone who has no reason to HIDE who she is ( failure to send a pic ) I don't has any interests whatsoever to meet with Minors ( Young Teens pretending to be Adults ), Men reguardless of how they dress, anyone with ill or criminal intent or anybody showing signs of mental illness. This is why I post my profile the way I did, I have to weed out all the dangers and sicko's out there. Then and only then can I feel free to submitt completely. Why can't any of you dominant women out there understand tihs ??? I want to be contoled by someone who care and have love for me not someone who maybe setting me up to be a crime victim. No I was NOT BEING SELFISH ( aKa " Do Me , Do Me , Do Me " ) as was stated at this forum . I was however being cautious, Someone who demands that you stop all contact with friends could only be motivated by ill intent. This has happened to me just this last week, this is what I put my Hard Spanking question here, I was seeking help, instead I got battered. I now stand here very very confused, Do I find friends here or ARE YOU ALL FOEs ??? Those of you who did take concern and answered my question without showing contempt know who you are, I will email you all with a thank you very soon

. Right now all I hear is a voice saying.....Danger.......Danger......Will Robinson........Danger... Perhaps one of you can help that voice to fade.

Extremely Discouraged
Harsh Reality

< Message edited by HarshReality -- 3/6/2006 8:32:46 AM >

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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 8:35:12 AM

HarshReality

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Joined: 2/7/2006
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Do any of you have room for a beginner ???

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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 8:44:21 AM

HarshReality

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/7/2006
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Ms Lashra,

To me Spankings are Punishment as they should be, A hard Spanking is not something I look forward to receiving. It is something that I try to avoid at All Cost.
However, I like keeping things on the Real, It is for that reason I will submitt to a hard spanking. I feel if it is Fun, Then it is Not being Adminisered properly.

I am not doing this for play like we did as kids.

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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 8:58:01 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
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quote:

Unconditional surrender to a complete stranger without any questions to me is highly dangerous

This is very true.

quote:

I have even be told that I MUST GIVE UP ALL MY FRIENDS and no longer communicate with them.

Avoid these types... that would definitely sound off that "Danger Danger Will Robinson" alarm.

As for being battered... well you asked what you were doing wrong & it was pointed out to you. I don't think anyone battered you because of it. Heck I even mentioned that if that is what you want then by all means ask for it... just don't expect to get massive emails from women who don't play into rewarding bad behavior... that is rule number one in many dominants books & sign number one of one topping from the bottom.

You have a lot of new dynamics to learn when moving from the world of serving a pro into the world of serving a 'lifestyle' oriented dominant.

Keep in mind that meeting a domme really is no different than meeting any woman (other than the obvious). Just be yourself. Imagine the straight vanilla guy in a straight vanilla bar wanting to meet the straight vanilla woman. Sure he is looking to hook up, but he doesn't just walk over to a gal & say, hey you wanna fuck! That is going to get you face-slapped or kicked in the balls... unless of course she is in that bar looking for the very same thing... but again, she is a woman & she will only respond to the approach that she wishes to & one that is less than respectful of her wants & desires will not be responded to in a favorable manner.

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New Approach - 3/6/2006 9:55:18 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

I use spankings for both punishment and reward. The worse punishment of all is denial, therefore after a good heavy dose of denial they are BEGGING, pleading for a chance to repent via a spanking. These are slaves NOT into spanking so it’s pretty damn hot when they sink to that level of submission where my attention, of any kind, is worth any amount of pain. Nothing gets me hotter then this dynamic and trust me, I spank them hard. It’s a slow process & I am sure to stop and make sure they are sure they want to continue this way. I love tears & the lengths they will go through to please me.

If they LOVE spanking I am very careful on how I give them. It really depends on the male and how it acts otherwise.

But if I was to give someone advice here I would have to say one word.. “SAFE WORD”. If you’re simply playing a spanky game not only is a safe word good for safety but it allows for freer rein. The Top should have experience with this because in reality some bad things can happen via a heavy hand. I have wooden paddles that will break a bone. If you’re simply doing a scene then you negotiate that safe word and she/he continues until you use it. I once knew a small group of people that used the colors in a traffic light to monitor the action; red (stop), yellow (slow down), Green (GO). Personally this would turn me off because for me there needs to be some type of reality & I must be able to feel the control.

AS for your profile… it is not clear or enticing. You should have a photo of your face and one of your ass after a severe spanking. That would get my attention, for sure. Also your profile might read;

“Mature Black male (53) addicted to the depths of submission administered by a good firm spanking. Although I am not a slave & unable to commit at that capacity, I will do anything in order to reach, explore and expand my masochist limits.”

That’s a good start anyhow. I think you don’t need to add the slave part. Try being more seductive and more details in your profile. I don’t normally reply to profiles without photos. That’s just me. I think some type of effort should be made even if done discreetly.

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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 12:52:48 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarshReality

Ms Tress

I placed my ad in good faith, I was not intended as a do me ad, Try guiding instead of condeming, We were ALL NEW TO THIS AT ONE TIME, I will pull the ad A.S.A.P.

Sorry that you had such difficulty reading even the first sentence of my post, I'm sure that you didn't bother to read any further. Maybe if you did your feelings wouldn't have been so hurt. Good luck to you, and welcome to the boards.

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Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 1:10:55 PM

LindaLashes

Posts: 170
Joined: 10/28/2005
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No problem here, if I f#$k up I get a hard spanking, and feel ashamed afterwards.

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Smack me around and call me Suzy...

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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 1:55:31 PM

collegebeauty

Posts: 41
Joined: 2/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarshReality
( The Pic is what helps build TRUST ) How do I know if she is what she say she is, I have be emailed by men pretending to be women,

First of all, a pic doesn't tell you anything about a person, including whether they're trustworthy or not, other than what they look like. And how do you know that the pic you're recieving is of that person. Were I a man pretending to be a woman, I think I'd be smart enough to send you a pic of a woman.

quote:

anyone with ill or criminal intent or anybody showing signs of mental illness

Again, how does a pic show you that the person is a serial killer or a psychopath? Most criminals don't "look like" criminals!

quote:

Do I find friends here or ARE YOU ALL FOEs ???

You asked a question about what's wrong with your profile. People ansered you. They saw something wrong and told you. Yes, that's criticism, but it was in an attempt to help.

If you find that you want a relationship in which you get spanked, perhaps you should explain that. I've chosen to post my picture here, many others don't for various reasons. It may be that they want to get to know you before revealing a pic to you, and there are lots of reasons for that other than lying. Someone may not want to risk being yanked out of the closet. I think you need to chill out and relax, that'll help you in your cause a lot.

_____________________________

Beauty

"I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso

"Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you." - Richard Bach

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RE: Hard spankings - 3/6/2006 8:57:34 PM

HarshReality

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/7/2006
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Ms ShadeDiva,

Your sub is right about your wrist, Your holding your wrist to ridget when you do a spanking, Its just like carpel tunnel syndrome. you should use a wrist brace and use a strap until your wrist heals, it will take awhile so you will have to be patient, stop doing hard hand spankings, your wrist bones can't take it; use a paddle or hairbrush but hold it lightly so that you don't transfer the impact shock into you wrist.