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Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 4:10:58 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		This is a sort of essay, something that was on my mind recently. This is an essay about dealing with the realities of meeting someone through the internet, of coping with the real world costs and conditions that often don’t seem to be considered.

Imagine for the moment that a dominant living in the US just met a submissive living in say… Australia, and that these two start talking, really like each other and start talking about collarings. Now what’s wrong with that picture?

First of all, these two haven’t met in real life… and as nice as someone may seem online you don’t really know them until you have met face to face. Who pays the airfare? Checking on several online travel sites just before I wrote this a round trip ticket from Australia to the US will cost approximately $1,800 for one adult. Now let’s think about this. These two should probably meet in person before they make any life altering decisions… so that’s one round trip ticket for someone.

They’ve just spent $1,800

Let’s assume the first meeting goes absolutely fabulous, its love at first sight, destiny beckons, they’ll write fairy tales about this one! So they agree to put the submissive’s things in order and the submissive will pick up and move in with the dominant in a months time. That’s another plane ticket.

They’re now up to $3,600 in expenses

Now did our intrepid couple bother to check about current immigration laws? Are they aware of recent restrictions placed on immigration by Sen. Maria Cantwell? Are they going to apply for a K-1 Visa or come on a Tourist Visa and then try to apply for citizenship. Do they even know what any of that stuff is? Typical attorney’s fees to explain this stuff to you, another $200.

They’ve now spent $3,800 in expenses

Okay so lets assume all goes well and the submissive gets citizenship and moves in… what about the cost of living, anyone thought of that? Even slaves have to be fed and sheltered, anyone added in say $200 or so to the monthly food budget (and that’s pretty minimal, $400 would be more reasonable)? What about medical insurance or similar considerations? The good news is you can definitely claim the submissive as dependant on your taxes!

So by now we’re up to over $4,000. Here’s the big question… can the dominant afford this? If the answer is no, then what in hell are you doing looking for a submissive on the other side of the friggin planet???

Submissives, you ought to think about this as well, can that dominant you’ve been talking really afford you? Its not a free ride, you need to be fed, you’ll need at least some clothing, shelter, etc. and that all costs money. There is the cost of moving you to be with your new dominant, more expenses as I’ve just shown. Or do they expect you to pay for it yourself?

Can you really respect a dominant who has to borrow airfare?

The internet is wonderful for meeting penpals from all over the world. You can potentially even meet someone you start a relationship here. But the point I’m trying to make is, keep it realistic. There is cost involved that often gets overlooked and that needs to be considered. If you can’t afford airfare to the other side of the planet, or across an ocean, is there really any point in considering someone that far away? Be real, stick to smaller area. For about $300 you can fly from any part of the continental US to any other part of the continental US… and some parts of Canada (at least as I write this I could find tickets for that price or less). If that’s all you can afford, that should be your geographic search area. The internet is nice… but sooner or later you have face up to reality and pay the bill. Can you afford it or are you going to be bumming airfare from your friends?

Consider it food for thought, here's the reality check, hope you enjoyed the meal.


_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 4:27:06 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Excellent post





_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 4:43:12 PM   
slo18


Posts: 125
Status: offline 		excilent post. this is why I am limiting my meetngs to ppl who live in the state.

_____________________________

if god and the adorer call, tell them my prophet shall call their prophet, for I am in meetings verily till the end of time.

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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 4:58:25 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Interesting post, and very interesting thoughts.

Oddly enough a close friend of mine, in Australia, happened to meet a Dominant online, who lived in Florida. They weren't looking for each other, they just met in a chat room and talked amongst friends. But they both felt the chemistry between them, and casual conversations turned much deeper.

Australia is quite a distance from Florida.

Five months later she moved in with him.

Five years later they are wonderfully happily married as Master and slave.

While your post speaks honestly and intelligently about the likelihood of difficulties and improbabilities, there are always exceptions. So often we close ourselves off based on certain criteria - from where they live to how they type to whether they expose a picture in a profile - that we miss out on the really good stuff.

If you are open to possibilities, possibilities come.

~ my two cents ~

(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 4:59:17 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sure before they even meet, they take the
time to see if even meeting realtime is
a Possibilty?
Already knowing how far apart they are,
they have to know certain things even before they start thinkig
of meeting.

"If not then it's not for real to begin with!"

quote:

"What's Your story about His Glory."



quote:

"Yes I said that!"


Sincerely, Ant

(in reply to slo18)
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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 5:26:51 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I'm taking Padriags post to simply mean, be realistic, why set yourself you for failure.

Coming from a couple who have transcended continents successfully I can say, it is hard work. There are large costs involved and a lot of homework to be done. I can think of another obstacle, a lot of the time your partner cant work when being in another country for a period of time.

The point he mentioned about immigration too was important. You need to know the rules beforehand so you know what you could possibly heading into and to make sure you take the right steps so you dont ruin your chances.

As far as who foots the bill? I think it just comes down to each individual. Perhaps sharing the airfare would be a good idea.


P.S. If your meeting someone in Australia choose the month of April/May the fares are much cheaper *grin* I think when Master came over initially they were like $800 return.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 5:40:38 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Having recently spent some $15,000 on a set of slaves from Ghana, I am deeply indebted for this post. Even when everything is worked out, there can be unforseen circumstances that arise, it seems that the zebra skin and elephant hide leather slave garments that they are wearing and bringing over here will cost another $15,000 in export duty fees. So they are held up in Ghana until I get that money to them.

Ja, I agree that things do work out under the most difficult circumstances, time to time, but agree with Padraig that by and large the numbers are gonna work against you, for the most part.

Since there have been some rather confused people as of late on the meaning of my posts, I will point out that the first paragraph is the silly one, and is at least tangentially (in a broad brushstroke sort of way) related to the topic at hand, and the second one in agreement with someone.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 5:43:51 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail



Since there have been some rather confused people as of late on the meaning of my posts, I will point out that the first paragraph is the silly one, and is at least tangentially (in a broad brushstroke sort of way) related to the topic at hand, and the second one in agreement with someone.

Ron


lol

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 5:54:49 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		laughing my hiney off!!!
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Having recently spent some $15,000 on a set of slaves from Ghana, I am deeply indebted for this post. Even when everything is worked out, there can be unforseen circumstances that arise, it seems that the zebra skin and elephant hide leather slave garments that they are wearing and bringing over here will cost another $15,000 in export duty fees. So they are held up in Ghana until I get that money to them.

Ja, I agree that things do work out under the most difficult circumstances, time to time, but agree with Padraig that by and large the numbers are gonna work against you, for the most part.

Since there have been some rather confused people as of late on the meaning of my posts, I will point out that the first paragraph is the silly one, and is at least tangentially (in a broad brushstroke sort of way) related to the topic at hand, and the second one in agreement with someone.

Ron


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 6:04:25 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		IMHO where there is a will there is a way.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 6:09:09 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Having recently spent some $15,000 on a set of slaves from Ghana, I am deeply indebted for this post. Even when everything is worked out, there can be unforseen circumstances that arise, it seems that the zebra skin and elephant hide leather slave garments that they are wearing and bringing over here will cost another $15,000 in export duty fees. So they are held up in Ghana until I get that money to them.

Ja, I agree that things do work out under the most difficult circumstances, time to time, but agree with Padraig that by and large the numbers are gonna work against you, for the most part.

Since there have been some rather confused people as of late on the meaning of my posts, I will point out that the first paragraph is the silly one, and is at least tangentially (in a broad brushstroke sort of way) related to the topic at hand, and the second one in agreement with someone.

Ron

Ron, nails it again....LMAO
You got ripped off though....I got two for one!


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 6:13:01 PM   
chercher


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		IMHO Love is rarely dictated by geography.

< Message edited by chercher -- 3/5/2006 6:15:16 PM >

(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 6:14:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
Here’s the big question… can the dominant afford this? If the answer is no, then what in hell are you doing looking for a submissive on the other side of the friggin planet???

I tend to agree with this as well. I know when I used the internet as my sole social outlet for kinky partners, I very easily got involved in the LDR thing. There really are amazing people out there that you could not have connected to without the net and it is a shame they are so far away. In fact currently two of my partners are long distance- one who lives with his family in Boston and one who moved to Texas for graduate school. BEFORE getting into the relationship, we all discussed these financial issues, responsibilities and whether it would be feasible for what we wanted in our relationship.

THis is also part of the reason why it's VERY unlikely I'd get involved with someone in the armed forces.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in simply BEING in a relationship, that you lose focus of "these past 6 months being owned and I've only seen him twice" long term picture. Is this what the rest of your life will be? Is that what you really want? Or are you working towards moving together? Very practical and real issues to be explored.

quote:


Can you really respect a dominant who has to borrow airfare?

I'm not sure how this question applies. I can respect a man who's been thrown into jail and has nothing of material value in the world. I know before my boyfriend went to graduate school, I pretty much paid for us if we wanted to go to an event. I accepted that and was fine with it.

Circumstances vary. While one SHOULD ask the questions of- will finances be stable and how will they be stable- one person having or not having finance isn't the make or break issue in respect of a relationship.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 6:31:46 PM   
justusfolks


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline 		Could I respect a dom who had to borrow airfare?

Sure. I'm certainly not a wealthy person, and neither is my partner. I had to borrow the money I used to take the train to come and live with him, and we share the cost of bills and other living expenses. I'm hardly unrealistic. I know that it takes two to make a comfortable living environment.

I also don't think it is necessarily the responsibility of the dominant to move the submissive/slave across oceans. If the dominant can't afford it and the submissive can, then why can't the submissive pay for it?


(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 7:12:12 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		Wow, I can afford to bring a slave from Australia. Now, if I was only dominant....

(in reply to justusfolks)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 7:24:17 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		Master and I come from different countries...it can work. Finacially, it can be very hard, but I'd say the biggest hurdle isn't the money, it's the immigration aspect of things. Even with all else in place, the best of plans can be kiboshed on the spot when governments drag their feet (or the laws change from month to month!). Getting caught up in red tape isn't my idea of exciting bondage, but it happens all the time. Plan on at least 12 months of it if you're going that route.

While I'm at it, you can add on about a grand for the immigration paperwork...maybe more if the office 'loses' your paperwork and you have to refile--again, happens all the time.

But, even with all the crap, I'm firmly entrenched in the 'if you're willing to take the risk, reach for the stars!' camp. It worked for me.

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 7:39:55 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		A friend of mine, (who is an attorney) met a lady from Korea over the internet.

They exchanged lots of emails...met each other, fell in love, and got married. He told me tonight, that he leaves next weekend to bring her over here. He is happy, and so is she.

What price love?

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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 7:45:53 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		If somebody could only respect somebody who was wealthy, then I don't want that person's respect...I don't care what the shiney happy plastic people think

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 7:50:40 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I don't think that is the point of this post or of the replies.

just my opinion though...

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 3/5/2006 8:02:11 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

A friend of mine, (who is an attorney) met a lady from Korea over the internet.

They exchanged lots of emails...met each other, fell in love, and got married. He told me tonight, that he leaves next weekend to bring her over here. He is happy, and so is she.

What price love?


This made me smile :)

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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