RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right!

RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (Full Version)

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MistressOfGa -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:25:59 PM)
quote: Ma'am with all due respect, anyone that responds to that profile will be abused... as the OP stated they will have NO contact with the outside... how can this be anything but abusive? This is NOT what this life is about... at least i hope to hell it isn't. I met a submissive who wanted exactly that. He didnt want any kind of contact with anyone other than me. He begged me to take total control over his life and finances. As you can see, he clearly wanted that kind of lifestyle. There are many subs/slaves out there that hunger that kind of total surrender. Is it abusive? Maybe, maybe not. But my point is that each of us have something inside of us that makes up who we are and what we want. What THIS life is all about is up to each person, there is no "rule book" or pamplet to explain how you should feel or what you should believe what THIS life is about. If you dont feel that this is what THIS life is about, then that is your right, but again, what you may think is abusive to you, may not be abuse to someone else. To each their own.

CERCKL -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:27:23 PM)
I have to agree with Angelic, this is just abuse...I have stayed away from submissives who have been victims of abuse which have never been worked through. I have had contact with rape and abuse victims since I was very young and to exploit them does not interest me. I am drawn to submissives who have a strong sense of self-awareness and who recognize what they are doing and give their selves consciously and willingly. When it ends, as a lot of relationships do, it has ended...just me and being 'new' to this group I will be disagreed with. Your right. In my case I spend my time trying to find submissives who are aligned in our mutual needs.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:30:53 PM)
Being called pig to one who gets off on it is no more abusive than calling someone a cunt or a bitch or a slut or a whore, if they also get off on it. It is the intent behind it. It hurts some, it is amazing for others. It is mild for even others. Everyone has their own triggers. It's what makes us all unique. :)

angelic -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:35:15 PM)
owned.. i agree.. however, this profile.. the one that the OP refers to specifically STATES NO OUTSIDE CONTACT... that means a person is isolated... completely... no family... no job... no friends... no one to turn to... ABUSE in the 1st degree imho.

MistressOfGa -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:36:43 PM)
quote: . I am drawn to submissives who have a strong sense of self-awareness and who recognize what they are doing and give their selves consciously and willingly. I am a little confused as to why you would think that someone who responds to that profile wouldnt have a strong sense of self-awareness? Why is it that they must have been abused if they want to be called a slut pig? Or any other name for that matter? What makes you or anyone else think that they wouldnt consciously and willingly submit to the Dominant that posted that profile? Just because a submissive enjoys being called whore/pig/slut or any other name doesnt mean that they have been abused in their past. That is just rediculous. And just because they respond positively to that profile doesnt mean that they dont have a sense of self worth. Maybe they just enjoy being called names. Period. No hidden reason, no hidden secrets or past abuse. My pup loves for me to call him my sissy slut while I play with him and I can tell you this, he has never experienced ANY kind of abuse. He just enjoys being called names, it turns him on. Welcome to the boards Cerckl :)

truesub4u -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:39:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CERCKL I have to agree with Angelic, this is just abuse...I have stayed away from submissives who have been victims of abuse which have never been worked through. I have had contact with rape and abuse victims since I was very young and to exploit them does not interest me. I am drawn to submissives who have a strong sense of self-awareness and who recognize what they are doing and give their selves consciously and willingly. When it ends, as a lot of relationships do, it has ended...just me and being 'new' to this group I will be disagreed with. Your right. In my case I spend my time trying to find submissives who are aligned in our mutual needs. Side stepping thread......... CERCKL........ welcome to CM and the forums... hope to see more of you around.

michaelGA -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:39:34 PM)
quote: Leaving was not an option as he was a Slave, {Slut Pig} and he had no rights!! i'm not sure how the Goreans here view slaves rights (or lack thereof), but in my IRC experience, a slave has two rights: 1. the right to beg for servitude 2. the right to beg release. if i'm wrong, please tell me and i will have learned something new.

MistressOfGa -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:39:42 PM)
quote: the one that the OP refers to specifically STATES NO OUTSIDE CONTACT... that means a person is isolated... completely... no family... no job... no friends... no one to turn to... ABUSE in the 1st degree imho. If someone responds to this ad, they WANT this type of living arrangement. It is agreeable to all concerned. How can that be abuse? It is consentual.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:41:07 PM)
we're talking about two different things here. i was addressing the concerns about being called pig. As for no outside contact, i brought that up in my first post on this thread, i think...humans are social creatures. Our spirits need to interact. Several on this thread are all in agreement that NO outside contact is crazy, and i loved what SweetDommes said - no outside contact but must grocery shop? It appears the person on the profile either A) doesn't know what he's talking about; B) is trying to elicit a response to see what the reactions are; C) Had something a little less extreme when he wrote it; or D) is indeed an abuser. In any case, i can't imagine he gets a lot of hits from that profile.

angelic -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:42:52 PM)
Ma'am... again with all due respect... that is a cop out... abuse is abuse whether it's consensual or not... it's still spelled ABUSE

ownedgirlie -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:44:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic Ma'am... again with all due respect... that is a cop out... abuse is abuse whether it's consensual or not... it's still spelled ABUSE Many in the vanilla world would, and do, call what we do abuse. Is it?

truesub4u -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:46:19 PM)
Ok I have too seen this profile. I read it... I laughed.. and kept on moving along. Not my cup of tea. I still think the one who does want this type of seclusion is gluttin for punishment... but then as MistressOfGa stated.. to each their own. I have no problems being called certain things. Being a large woman.. being called a pig is not one of them. But then again, that's my little off quirk. I don't even want to hear ... oh it's just a little word.. and you know I love you.. i say it with love... lol.. say it with love my ass.. But like I said.. that's just me and something I don't like. But as for the no further contact... that can be taken in many other ways. Perhaps before hand.. contact with others have caused problems. Interferance from non life stylers..... etc... the part that tossed me... was being used as a human toilet... lmao. Nope.. not going to go there... i'll stop right now before I offend someones kink... lol

angelic -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:48:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: angelic Ma'am... again with all due respect... that is a cop out... abuse is abuse whether it's consensual or not... it's still spelled ABUSE Many in the vanilla world would, and do, call what we do abuse. Is it? when it comes to isolation.. no contact with the outside world... yes... imo.. they are ones what make this life so difficult for those outside to understand and accept... please understand it's not the word that bothered me, although that hit my gut in a bad way, it was the rest of what this so called Dom wanted...

ownedgirlie -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:50:47 PM)
i am a firm believer that isolation is an unhealthy thing. i had no other issues with that profile.

angelic -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 10:54:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie i am a firm believer that isolation is an unhealthy thing. i had no other issues with that profile. and for me that one thing spelled abuse... period.. of course that is just my opinion.

CERCKL -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 11:00:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa I am a little confused as to why you would think that someone who responds to that profile wouldnt have a strong sense of self-awareness? Why is it that they must have been abused if they want to be called a slut pig? Or any other name for that matter? What makes you or anyone else think that they wouldnt consciously and willingly submit to the Dominant that posted that profile? Just because a submissive enjoys being called whore/pig/slut or any other name doesnt mean that they have been abused in their past. That is just rediculous. I do not mean to state that anyone who needs to be called names has been abused...I have been with those who got off being told what worthless cumslut whores they were...I also recognize that everyone makes their own choices. I was agreeing with the concept of complete isolation and that I have come across those who confused submissiveness and their abuse. I think I would communicate my intent better in person than in this type of medium...since we aren't discussing back and forth in 'real-time'. On a seperate note I appreciate the welcome from the two members and I look forward to learning here and provoking some insight from my personal views...or at least pissing some off. C

cacodylic -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 11:03:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA quote: Leaving was not an option as he was a Slave, {Slut Pig} and he had no rights!! i'm not sure how the Goreans here view slaves rights (or lack thereof), but in my IRC experience, a slave has two rights: 1. the right to beg for servitude 2. the right to beg release. if i'm wrong, please tell me and i will have learned something new. Which kind of "release" are we talking about here? LOL

MistressOfGa -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 11:06:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic Ma'am... again with all due respect... that is a cop out... abuse is abuse whether it's consensual or not... it's still spelled ABUSE So let me get this straight. I have my submissives consent to paddle his ass and I am causing a great deal of pain to him, something that most vanilla folks would think is an abusive action. They are hollaring "ABUSE!! ABUSE!!", but I say to them, "No, it isnt. I have his consent to paddle his ass and cause him such great pain". You are saying that consentual or not, it is still abuse? Perhaps you will say, no that isnt abuse. It is part of this lifestyle, it is a given? Well, just because someone steps out of what is normally accepted, doesnt mean suddenly it is abuse. If I were a submissive and I chose to reply to that ad and I wanted want that Dominant was offering, I would be offended by your judgemental attitude. I would wonder why MY choices were not being respected just as I would respect yours and what you choose to accept as consentual. With all due respect, your attitude regarding this type of life choice reminds me of some of my vanilla friends who have told me the same thing, that I was being abusive to my pup, because I choose to tie him up and paddle him, something we BOTH enjoy.

michaelGA -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 11:09:27 PM)
well, hmmmmmmm...i'm sure it has something to do with being allowed to leave, but i could be wrong...LOL

angelic -> RE: Who or What gives You the Dominate the right! (3/5/2006 11:12:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa quote: ORIGINAL: angelic Ma'am... again with all due respect... that is a cop out... abuse is abuse whether it's consensual or not... it's still spelled ABUSE So let me get this straight. I have my submissives consent to paddle his ass and I am causing a great deal of pain to him, something that most vanilla folks would think is an abusive action. They are hollaring "ABUSE!! ABUSE!!", but I say to them, "No, it isnt. I have his consent to paddle his ass and cause him such great pain". You are saying that consentual or not, it is still abuse? Perhaps you will say, no that isnt abuse. It is part of this lifestyle, it is a given? Well, just because someone steps out of what is normally accepted, doesnt mean suddenly it is abuse. If I were a submissive and I chose to reply to that ad and I wanted want that Dominant was offering, I would be offended by your judgemental attitude. I would wonder why MY choices were not being respected just as I would respect yours and what you choose to accept as consentual. With all due respect, your attitude regarding this type of life choice reminds me of some of my vanilla friends who have told me the same thing, that I was being abusive to my pup, because I choose to tie him up and paddle him, something we BOTH enjoy. Ma'am that is Your choice... i was not talking about anything between You and Yours.. i was addressing an OP that specifically stated they would be isolated..... i am done with this thread... i hope Wwe just agree to disagree... the OP stated things that were ABUSIVE... if it is Your opinion they were not.. that is, of course, Your choice...

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