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RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 1:02:47 AM

Malkinius

Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
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{Fast Reply}

Greetings all.....

These have been some interesting but mostly expected replies. It really comes down to what you think is the most important, the relationship or the service. If you are looking for a lover such a request would be an insult. If you are looking for someone who is there for service, not love, it is, to me, much more reasonable. Please note the difference between the two mindsets. There is also a difference if you have someone who is or is wanting to be a slave versus a sub.

I do have a flexible list of things I ask women who are at the point of becoming a slave to me. It is one of the last things before a collar goes on. Background and job history are just two of the things on there. That part pretty much just fills in formally what I have already learned from them and gives it to me in a handy form I can refer to. That takes up the first 10 or so questions. After that the questions are about how the person thinks and what they believe. Some are easy and some nasty. Many are what-if questions to help them understand what being a slave can mean and things to think about that could, not necessarily would, happen. It is a good way of learning someone and helping them to learn themselves and to decide if this step is for them. So far the comments on it range from no big deal to some of it really made them think and decide if they really want to do this. I will say that no one who has been to that point has ever decided to not go ahead tho a few have come close. It is makes a great source of discussion about what can or will happen and what some of their answers mean to them. I always learn more about the person than I knew before.

I will note that people's styles and intents vary a lot. I would rather a person makes an intelligent and willing choice to submit rather than a hasty one or one based solely on emotion, especially the emotion of the moment.

Be well all....

Malkinius

_____________________________

A questioner by inclination...An Auctioneer for the fun of it
http://www.HouseMalkinius.com The goal is community.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 21

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 4:01:47 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Do you fill out the same form to prove you are worthwhile to them also? Or do they have to take you on faith?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Malkinius)

Post #: 22

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 4:15:44 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509

How would you feel if a potential Dom/Master had you fill out a very detailed application to measure your worth as becoming his property? (think, of it more like a job application than a test)

believe it or not this doesn't bother me because i don't view it in the same context that has been demonstrated thus far. when i consider the seriousness that ownership would entail, it would make sense that the person would utilize a variety of methods to ascertain if this person is a suitable fit. since the op utilized property that is the context i am addressing.

in my estimation these relations are meant to have permanence. i would assume he plans to make a thorough investment of time, care, and resources. if the original point of contact is virtual, it would seem natural that his techniques will be somewhat modified, as opposed to in person associations. if the dominant is more than willing to have me based on something i've stated directly or written elsewhere without thorough dialogue and thought provoking questions, i'm going to wonder what's wrong with him.

what i find most telling about this example is that the op fails to recognize that the would be slave that has a demonstrated desire to serve him won't take issue with this at all. she will be willing to undergo a variety of tests and challenges to earn the place at his feet. i can honestly admit to agreeing to things for One that i'd never do for another. in hindsight i can also confess that i'd have done far more. it all depends on where you wish to be.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to exile509)

Post #: 23

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 4:19:19 AM

Santoro

Posts: 58
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline

I don’t find that thinking uniquely disturbing, nor do I find financial criminal medical and social background verifications offensive.
I have no objection to substantiating who and what I am or expressing in minute detail the terms and conditions under which I would explore a relationship. I have a great deal to offer and expect a great deal in return. However no sense of urgency surrounds me and I am quite content with the challenges and rewards in my life should a relationship not surface.

(in reply to Malkinius)

Post #: 24

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 4:22:26 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

I'm with IrishMist,
i think i'd quite enjoy it... interesting as to what he wants me to be good at... same difference though, his position is a job too, i ask questions back...

(in reply to exile509)

Post #: 25

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 7:12:22 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Do you fill out the same form to prove you are worthwhile to them also? Or do they have to take you on faith?

The one you are with now DesFIP, did you just take him on faith? Or did you make some kind of an effort to learn about him?

I can understand Master Malkinius's point in saying that it can be used as a usefull tool in understanding another person; just as it can be used to help that same person understand themselves a bit better.

When you think about it, it's not the thought of filling out an 'application' that is so distastedful; it's the FEELING of there being no emotion attatched to it. For some, not having those emotions clouding their thoughts can be a good thing, make a person step back and really think about what they are doing.

On a personal level, if I was to be handed an application, I really would find nothing wrong with it. I would most likely think more of the person for wanting to make sure that I...I...was sure about what I was doing and what it entailed.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 26

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 7:40:44 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

We both took time learning about each other. But it wasn't a position that could be gotten by the facts written on a piece of paper. Because no questionnaire, no matter how thorough, can show you if you think the same, have the same ethical and moral values, have any chemistry. You can't build a friendship on a 30 minute interview. And if I'm going to have sex with someone then I need to have an established friendship first. All the right answers in the world don't matter if we just aren't ever going to be friends.

I know people who are perfectly competent and trustworthy at their jobs who I just don't like, just don't have anything in common with. It doesn't matter how good they are at what they do, we still aren't ever going to be friends.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 10/16/2009 7:42:06 AM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 27

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 8:11:05 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I think this is another case of, what the relationship intent is. If D/s or M/s is not the main focus but instead, a type of relationship that is based upon love, affection, romance, primary and often monogamous, facets......then I can understand why many of the replies are negative.

However...... if a person approaches a dominant/master/mistress as a service sub/slave with the service being the primary focus....... I think it makes perfect sense.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 28

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 8:16:33 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I think this is another case of, what the relationship intent is. If D/s or M/s is not the main focus but instead, a type of relationship that is based upon love, affection, romance, primary and often monogamous, facets......then I can understand why many of the replies are negative.

However...... if a person approaches a dominant/master/mistress as a service sub/slave with the service being the primary focus....... I think it makes perfect sense.

But see, this is what I was trying to point out. Suppose the initial approach is not done solely as a 'service' measure. Suppose the end intent is to be an emotional attatchment.

I can still say that I would think more of the person handing me an application than I would of them not. Simply because it tells me that they want to make sure that I understand exactly what I am offering myself up for. Sure, you can be more 'romantic' and court a person instead; but, I will be honest, I would rather know on day one exactly what would be required of me...BEFORE I take that step that may lead into some form of emotional attatchment.

It may sound cold and empty, but it's also pretty dayum smart to.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 29

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 8:23:40 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Oh Irish, I get that anyone could do it, find it useful, etc.......but then again I can be rather clinical in my view of the world and relationships also. I was just trying to give a different point of view for those that found it so deplorable.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 30

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 8:24:06 AM

SaharahEve

Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

what i find most telling about this example is that the op fails to recognize that the would be slave that has a demonstrated desire to serve him won't take issue with this at all. she will be willing to undergo a variety of tests and challenges to earn the place at his feet. i can honestly admit to agreeing to things for One that i'd never do for another. in hindsight i can also confess that i'd have done far more. it all depends on where you wish to be.

porcelaine

I agree with all you said, particularly the above. Submission and dominance is a serious business. I like being able to explore a person's mindset, learn about their ideals, etc.; writing to me directly, in a forum or in a journal is a productive way to accomplish this. In addition, if a person's willing to invest their time and energy into doing same, it's a sign they're serious about their inquiry.

< Message edited by SaharahEve -- 10/16/2009 8:25:50 AM >

_____________________________

Saharah

S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 31

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 8:26:27 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto
If he's going to measure my worth by what I put on a piece of paper, then I don't think he's worthy of my time it would take to fill the paper out.

Yup, that.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 32

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 8:28:46 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto
If he's going to measure my worth by what I put on a piece of paper, then I don't think he's worthy of my time it would take to fill the paper out.

Yup, that.

Of course, because the primary focus of your relationship is your marriage. That is very very different than many other people.

Granted, I've never had anyone fill out a form but I can definitely seen the value in it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 33

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 9:05:22 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

FR.
Everybody can write a fancy application

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 34

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 9:15:28 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I think this is another case of, what the relationship intent is. If D/s or M/s is not the main focus but instead, a type of relationship that is based upon love, affection, romance, primary and often monogamous, facets......then I can understand why many of the replies are negative.

However...... if a person approaches a dominant/master/mistress as a service sub/slave with the service being the primary focus....... I think it makes perfect sense.

But see, this is what I was trying to point out. Suppose the initial approach is not done solely as a 'service' measure. Suppose the end intent is to be an emotional attatchment.

I can still say that I would think more of the person handing me an application than I would of them not. Simply because it tells me that they want to make sure that I understand exactly what I am offering myself up for. Sure, you can be more 'romantic' and court a person instead; but, I will be honest, I would rather know on day one exactly what would be required of me...BEFORE I take that step that may lead into some form of emotional attatchment.

It may sound cold and empty, but it's also pretty dayum smart to.

Master didn't hand this slave an application, she filled out a checklist form on another website (BDSM Personals) and so did He. the site matched us up based on "compatibility"...sort of like a kinky eHarmony...and let us both know that we might want to give each other a look-see. an application just seems like the long-form of the checklist, to this slave...no bigee, no insult.

before He agreed to meet this slave, He wanted to know the answer to what He considered a very important question when we were first introduced via the internet:

"Are you submissive or do you get off fantasizing about being submissive?"

some folks might consider that rude, but this slave didn't have any issues with answering...or with what sounded to her like a reasonable question. given that some folks aren't looking for courtly love or romance or conventional dating as a foundation for their relationship, this slave doesn't see anything wrong with the "application" idea.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 35

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 9:16:06 AM

SaharahEve

Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

FR.
Everybody can write a fancy application

Goodness this is true. Everybody can write a fancy profile too.

_____________________________

Saharah

S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 36

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 9:27:06 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

FR.
Everybody can write a fancy application

Actually no, it is beyond the abilities of many.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 37

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 9:39:04 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

I agree with all you said, particularly the above. Submission and dominance is a serious business. I like being able to explore a person's mindset, learn about their ideals, etc.; writing to me directly, in a forum or in a journal is a productive way to accomplish this. In addition, if a person's willing to invest their time and energy into doing same, it's a sign they're serious about their inquiry.

getting into my head and reaching the part of me that i rarely give over are worlds apart. the application is not offensive because it is presented by someone who has managed to touch this place and hold my interest. the two go hand in hand. otherwise it is unlikely i'd entertain the dialogue at all.

if i'm interested in serving this individual, the application is merely part of the process of bringing that into fruition. this is where my thinking has done a sharp 180. i've reexamined my views and realized they were out of line and made changes to reflect what is correct. if that is where i wish to be, it is probable that i will grin and bear it instead, keeping the goal in mind versus the road getting to that point.

if every fiber of my being yearns for this, the supposed difficulties and challenges of having such won't be that at all. simply because the desire to serve Him outweighs every combative thought or stumbling block that comes to mind. which in all truth reflect the ones i've put in place to prevent this from occurring.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to SaharahEve)

Post #: 38

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 9:45:50 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

FR.
Everybody can write a fancy application

Actually no, it is beyond the abilities of many.

beyond the abilities of those that actually are trying to represent themselves maybe..
but there're thousands of application on google that you can just copy paste and/or gotten ideas from..and if you're dedicated enough to give the wrong impression...I believe it's easy peasy..
Many people are great 'salesmen' and presenters but don't have shit going on between their ears...

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 39

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions - 10/16/2009 9:56:35 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius

{Fast Reply}

It really comes down to what you think is the most important, the relationship or the service. If you are looking for a lover such a request would be an insult. If you are looking for someone who is there for service, not love, it is, to me, much more reasonable. Please note the difference between the two mindsets. There is also a difference if you have someone who is or is wanting to be a slave versus a sub.

I agree. And I should say that I want the whole package. To be of service, to be lovers, the whole thing. I still don't think a resume of sorts, or whatever one wants to call it, is a bad idea. Along with what I can offer, I could also add what I offer and want in the way of common interests, love, etc etc. Also, I would have no problems with someone knowing my criminal background/lack of one. After all, I wouldn't want to get involved with, say, a murderer or something & I'm thinking Someone else wouldn't want to either. Also I wouldn't consider the "what I want" part of it trying to Dom/me because there is no relationship there yet. Actually, I think it would be nice if both parties filled one out. Maybe I have too radical ideas? Oh well. It would be kind of a self-done eHarmony-style matching up.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Malkinius)

Post #: 40

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