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You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 10:48:08 AM

RCdc

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Due to a discussion in another thread, I realised that some people define submission and domination as a 'feeling'. That some people 'feel' submission or 'feel' dominant over someone.
So how is it for you?

the.dark.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:00:13 AM

Lockit

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I'm a dominant personality who can feel more dominant with certain people. So I guess my answer is yes, I feel it. It can also be a decision or choice to be dominant or take a dominant place in situations or with people. I am not sure I understand... lol... maybe I should try to find the other thread. I don't have to feel dominant to be dominant... but do love those dominant feelings. lol

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:01:40 AM

NuevaVida

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Submission is not a feeling to me. It does, however, bring me to feel certain things. Those feelings can then be associated with my submission. I tend to think that's what people mean when they say they "feel submissive."

But maybe not.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:06:54 AM

NihilusZero

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I don't know about that. I can be ignited by or more attracted to someone depending on what types of chemistry-related traits they have and how those play out between us, but my dominance is just a facet of mine that is active in relationships.

Or perhaps the question is being framed as to whether one would 'feel' dominant or submissive to another based on how well the relationship is going? Obviously the better a fit someone is in, the greater likelihood there is to have a 'feeling' that the submission or dominance is being augmented just by existing in a very complementary place.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 10/16/2009 11:08:27 AM >

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:07:44 AM

leadership527

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Wow... too deep for me... or maybe I'm just not getting it. But yeah, I "feel" dominant over Carol. That would be in sharp contrast to how I "feel" regarding the checkout woman in the grocery store. To the best of my knowledge, there are only "thinkings" and "feelings" that go on inside of me and it's definitely not a "thinking" thing.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:08:44 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Due to a discussion in another thread, I realised that some people define submission and domination as a 'feeling'. That some people 'feel' submission or 'feel' dominant over someone.
So how is it for you?

the.dark.

For me, it's all about the personality of a person. Some people's personalities are just more dominant than others, and some are more submissive than others.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:19:14 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

...So how is it for you?

this slave can tell you how she feels when she submits or dominates, situationally...but not what submission or dominance feels like...and to her, there is a distinction.

there have been times that this slave has felt bad about submitting, and about being submissive, because the end result left her feeling hurt and scared.

there have been times when this slave has felt content submitting, because it was fulfilling and joyful.

but this slave has never percieved "submissive", "submission" or "dominance" as a feeling. to her, it is more a state of being and reacting to others...not a specific feeling like sadness or warmth or inebriation or nausea.

having to act dominant, feels uncomfortable, frustrating and stressfull, because, for this slave, it is a contrived, repulsive act. again, "dominant", as it applies to this slave, isn't perceived as a "feeling" but an (unfortunately) sometimes necessary "act" to engage in (like public speaking, for instance) that has caused this slave to feel terrifying panic, (much like public speaking does)!!!

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:24:18 AM

DesFIP

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Both an action and a feeling. I can submit, meaning do what someone else tells me. However if I don't feel submissive towards whoever it is not going to lead me to become his submissive, to agree that he has the right in future to tell me what to do.

If I don't feel submissive in his presence, although obviously not all the time, then I haven't got any reason to follow his lead unless he can justify it each time. This applies only to an interpersonal relationship solely. But I need that emotion to be his.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 12:47:16 PM

shadowowl

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I'm curious if this corrisponds to the pyschological theory of people being thinkers or feelers and how many of each side are in BDSM. I would think the majority of people in BDSM are feelers with a smaller % being thinkers. I can see more pro's being thinkers but it would just be % as I think it's pretty mixed in all area's.
Curious if there are any that are Thinker types that feel BDSM as opposed to doing it because it's logical a better choice of lifestyle given your likes/dislikes.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 1:08:38 PM

Lockit

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I think it is very possible to be both a feeler and a thinker. I may be right or left brained but they are connected and both work. lol My thinker decides what my feeler is allowed, but it is allowed. lol

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 1:09:36 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

So how is it for you?

i don't equate it as a feeling at all. it is usually a mental process for me. where i'm either open or closed to the idea of surrendering to that person. the only element that is related to feelings is whether it is possible to connect with the individual emotionally. the two factions must be present for submission to occur. anything less than this is merely compliance in my mind.

what i seek does not allow compartmentalization of this sort and requires me to bring all of myself. either there is something about the person that compels me to draw closer or there is not. i will articulate my desires candidly and admit i want Him. if this is missing i consider the submission nonexistent. we're merely chit chatting instead.

porcelaine

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 1:21:54 PM

looking4princess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowowl

I'm curious if this corrisponds to the pyschological theory of people being thinkers or feelers and how many of each side are in BDSM. I would think the majority of people in BDSM are feelers with a smaller % being thinkers. I can see more pro's being thinkers but it would just be % as I think it's pretty mixed in all area's.
Curious if there are any that are Thinker types that feel BDSM as opposed to doing it because it's logical a better choice of lifestyle given your likes/dislikes.

I am not so sure you can seperate feeling from thinking functions of the brain or personality. I wish i could but i cannot cite for you some research and modeling of brain function that shows how strongly feeling influences all of the other cognitive functions. I like to think more in terms of modes of cognition and behavior, especially aggressive as opposed to humility. Many times when replying to some posting on these boards or dealing with non-BDSM encounters (for lack of a better phrase) I am a fairly aggressive person. I have seen that trait often in BDSM-submissives on the boards and even in their Profiles. On the other hand, when my Mistress smacks me down verbally i am pretty quickly humbled. Now that is a feeling! Maybe it has a lot to do with whether you are doing or being done. Although, I can see where acting out assertively comes with a lot of feeling too. Sheesch! Hard to say we do anything without feeling unless we are sociopathic.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 2:32:38 PM

kiwisub12

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When i serve my Sir, i don't "feel" submissive. My service is just the way things are supposed to be. I get very uncomfortable when he gets his own coffee - i'm supposed to do that. It's my job, so to speak. My mindset is such that i am more comfortable serving than being served by my Sir. Sort of along the lines of that is the natural order of things.

I didn't need to be taught submission - i already was. What my Sir taught me was how he liked to be served. The submission was already in place.

To my way of thinking , feelings are ephemeral - here one moment and gone the next. When i get angry, it doesn't last long. My submission is part of my personality, ingrained.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 2:39:19 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowowl
Curious if there are any that are Thinker types that feel BDSM as opposed to doing it because it's logical a better choice of lifestyle given your likes/dislikes.

That question was a little garbled, but I'm very predominatly a "thinker type"... that is to say my brain works in terms of concepts and analytical constructs rather than the much more experiential/feeling way Carol works. And yes, in large part, I'm doing this because it's a better way to run my marriage. But much to my own surprise, there is also a pretty strong primal feeling thing going on inside me also. It's complicated. Go figure *laughs*.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 2:40:07 PM

sweetsub1957

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Hmm. Well, I feel submissive, but I also just am. I'm naturally submissive. It's a part of me that I can't deny. I just am. Don't get me wrong. In most of my life, I can be assertive and independent, but it takes that special person and their Dominance to click with me & draw it out of me, and when that happens, it comes out all the way. It's wonderful. There's nothing like it, and I am more content, happier and more fulfilled than than I am at any other time. It's hard to explain. It just is.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 2:41:50 PM

mnottertail

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdQDXs75Ulo

its already been said for me

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 2:42:42 PM

kdsub

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I don't understand the question myself...How pray tell would there be anything but feelings involved...ever. Feelings are our interaction between the id and our asses.

Butch

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 2:46:15 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Due to a discussion in another thread, I realised that some people define submission and domination as a 'feeling'. That some people 'feel' submission or 'feel' dominant over someone.
So how is it for you?

Hi, Dark,

I suppose that's accurate in the same sense that when i need food, I feel hungry, and when I need water, I feel thirsty. To me, submission and service are the ways I express love and bonding with a partner in a romantic relationship. If I love someone, or feel intimate toward her, it expresses itself as a need to serve and submit to her. And that need, in turn, could be described as a feeling. So sure, I guess that definition works for me!

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 2:54:48 PM

odysseyIndeed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Due to a discussion in another thread, I realised that some people define submission and domination as a 'feeling'. That some people 'feel' submission or 'feel' dominant over someone.
So how is it for you?

Hi, Dark,

I suppose that's accurate in the same sense that when i need food, I feel hungry, and when I need water, I feel thirsty. To me, submission and service are the ways I express love and bonding with a partner in a romantic relationship. If I love someone, or feel intimate toward her, it expresses itself as a need to serve and submit to her. And that need, in turn, could be described as a feeling. So sure, I guess that definition works for me!

What he said (except replace the female references with male ones :).

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 5:08:53 PM

CaringandReal

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I experience submission 100% as a feeling, but I seem to be in the minority, so maybe it's because of some weird way I was taught or raised to define feelings?

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