lovingpet
Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sirsholly
quote:
BUt what's more is I being overweight and out of shape, CLEARLY expect to be judged negatively because of same by Men who are looking for a slave. I don't sit around saying well he should get to know what's INSIDE, if he doesn't like the outside did you ever think that is your perception, and not his? I am serious with this because we rarely see ourselves as others see us, and we are brutal critics toward the one in the mirror sometimes.
Angel...if you saw a woman walking down the street with your exact weight, height, waist size, etc., would you think she was overweight?
I appreciate this, holly, because it is something I deal with in my own relationship. I am chubby, and there is no use in denying that. I have trouble believing I am "aesthetically pleasing", but my partner happens to very strongly disagree. As his possession, it is his assessment of me that should matter and to question his determination is to question his judgement on the whole. He is supportive of any efforts to lose weight provided it is being done in a healthy way that is not harmful to what is his. If he thought my weight to be the CAUSE of my health issues, he would be riding my ass to get that weight off immediately. He loves my body as is, he will love it if it changes (better or worse), and his primary concern is my well being. The only time I have ever seen him angry with me is when I called myself fat and began putting myself down. He made it very clear then and there that I am NEVER to speak badly about what is HIS. Ever.
If it is something you desire to have addressed within a relationship, angel, I see no reason not to request it. If a potential sees your body as one he desires and pleases him, arouses him, then aren't you "aesthetically pleasing" to him? You want this weight loss to occur and seem to need the impetus of a dominant force driving the process either directly or by way of motivation. I will honestly say, it sounds more like hanging on to control over this matter. I can understand it, but it is what it is. If he chooses to never address my weight because he enjoys me as is and does not view my weight as harming me, him, or our relationship, then I have to accept that I will remain more or less the size I am whether I am currently happy with the way I look or not. It is his decision, his place to make those determinations, not mine. Consider it an area of compatibilty if you'd like, but it is an issue of submission.
lovingpet
who will not be checking in on this thread again.
PS: I know my words may have been a bit biting, but they were in all the best spirits, angel. I never mean anything malicious in things like this.
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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me
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RE: If you're overweight - 
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