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A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 9:19:12 AM   
all4yourplsr


Posts: 156
Joined: 4/5/2005
Status: offline 		Why is it that some Mistress DEMAND a sub call them Mistress right from the start and others bristle when they are called Mistress?  i thought it was a sign of respect. 
 
all4yourplsr
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 9:21:56 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		For some, it is. For others (like Holly and me) the title of "Mistress" is reserved for those that we own. For a random male to call us that out of the blue is presumptuous. The differences in preference are why we specify on our profile to not call us that.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to all4yourplsr)
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RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 10:22:44 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		So your damned if you do and damned if you don't!

I'd suggest you ask them how they prefer to be addressed.

_____________________________

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Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to SweetDommes)
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RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 10:31:19 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Because people are all different?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 10:47:10 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: all4yourplsr

Why is it that some Mistress DEMAND a sub call them Mistress right from the start and others bristle when they are called Mistress?  i thought it was a sign of respect. 


if you're realistic about your comment it is unlikely this person would have any appeal if you encountered them face to face. people make demands all the time, but that is all they are. we decide if we'll abide and meet them or allow our feet to speak for us instead when we head in a different direction.

as a rule i don't use the term. i never addressed my mentor in that fashion and i'd be hard pressed to do so with a stranger unless it was written correspondence or a directive my Owner gave. i have the same opinion regarding male honorifics as well. i have one Master, enough said.

it is my belief that Ma'am would be more appropriate. it implies no attempt at familiarity and is a commonly accepted mode of address that may not ruffle feathers. be sure to read the profile in advance, it isn't uncommon for some to note their preference or ambivalence to such things. when this isn't present defer to what is less offensive.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to all4yourplsr)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 10:55:23 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Eeeeeeeeeee the dreaded Ma'am!!  Now, me, I think that's a perfectly acceptable form of address, but I know many young women who would have a cow if you called them that!  Somehow it implies great age...  how that happened, I am not sure!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:08:39 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Try going by their nickname and asking them right off the bat so they know you are at least trying. Many say what or what not to call them on their profile. If they don't address it and it matters a lot... and they get upset, they would be the one in error.

For me... mistress is for that special someone in my life. Ma'am is good, Miss is fine, Ms is fine too. Lockit is good, after all that is what I use here. Mistress... makes me roll my eyes... but is a big clue that they didn't read my profile or are trying to piss me off. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:10:14 AM   
homedespot


Posts: 79
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		Since you wrote me and I corrected you (in the last hour) doesn't it make more sense to ask me? Of course not!

But the answer is in my profile. I say don't do it.

I am not your Mistress. I am jssubc's Mistress. I own him. It isn't a term of respect it is a term of possession (for me) and since you wrote me I corrected you.

I also politely agreed to what you wanted and didn't get a thank you.

SweetDommes got it right.

**jssubc says he is sympathetic though, because there are lots of protocols...he feels sorry for you and says he "understands your quandry".
***but it IS in my profile.
****ask jssubc about going to the female Domme who gets called "sir"!

(in reply to all4yourplsr)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:15:38 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		It seems you got the answer from where it was intended.  There are several reasons that a person might have the preference:

They only use their title or scene name when dealing with those connected to BDSM.

They may be a protocol person and prefer that all interactions are handled that way.

They may be a person who lives a leather lifestyle and the term is in recognition of them earning their leathers.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to homedespot)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:29:49 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Try going by their nickname


excellent point. i sorely detest when people write me and say hello girl or hello slave. i hear an automatic click in my head. which means i've disconnected them from my screen. i suppose utilizing the name would stretch their brain a tad much.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:40:00 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Try going by their nickname


excellent point. i sorely detest when people write me and say hello girl or hello slave. i hear an automatic click in my head. which means i've disconnected them from my screen. i suppose utilizing the name would stretch their brain a tad much.

porcelaine



My theory on that is that it's very difficult, if not impossible to send one message to 1000 subs/slaves if they use a name...


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:46:05 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		um...because we are not cookie cutter Dommes?  Because we are people and all people are different?

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to all4yourplsr)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:46:56 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

My theory on that is that it's very difficult, if not impossible to send one message to 1000 subs/slaves if they use a name...


that might be why i don't feel bad when i correct the oversight.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:50:07 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

My theory on that is that it's very difficult, if not impossible to send one message to 1000 subs/slaves if they use a name...


that might be why i don't feel bad when i correct the oversight.

porcelaine



Could be....it's probably the reason you don't hear from them again...


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:53:01 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

My theory on that is that it's very difficult, if not impossible to send one message to 1000 subs/slaves if they use a name...


that might be why i don't feel bad when i correct the oversight.

porcelaine



Could be....it's probably the reason you don't hear from them again...



Usually the spammers just send out thousands like you said, and they just delete what they perceive as negative and go toward the others.  They couldn't care less, they don't even know who they sent to...lol  I mean how many times do you get the exact same spam from the exact same person?....lol

I've had some ask me to block them because they can't/won't keep a list of who they spam to....sad

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:57:29 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ROFL.... I had one respectfully ask me to block him so he didn't come back at me! He was respectful, I will give him that... but damn! lol It doesn't work much when they keep changing their profile and nickname!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 11:58:02 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

My theory on that is that it's very difficult, if not impossible to send one message to 1000 subs/slaves if they use a name...


that might be why i don't feel bad when i correct the oversight.

porcelaine



Could be....it's probably the reason you don't hear from them again...



Usually the spammers just send out thousands like you said, and they just delete what they perceive as negative and go toward the others.  They couldn't care less, they don't even know who they sent to...lol  I mean how many times do you get the exact same spam from the exact same person?....lol

I've had some ask me to block them because they can't/won't keep a list of who they spam to....sad


Actually I have had repeat spam admittedly more on FL where this one guy has sent me exactly the same message 6 times now


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 1:10:58 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

ROFL.... I had one respectfully ask me to block him so he didn't come back at me! He was respectful, I will give him that... but damn! lol It doesn't work much when they keep changing their profile and nickname!


oh I hear ya about the weekend....next to the little darling's that email.  I had one guy jump on me on one of the boards

someone backed into my car yesterday in the store parking lot

so today, I'm just going to stay home and hide....so I'm typing on the boards, looking at the game,and what happens....I hear this horrific noise...I run outside and someone has backed into the garage and run off....lol

oh this weekend has "got" to be over soon....lol 

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 1:16:35 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

My theory on that is that it's very difficult, if not impossible to send one message to 1000 subs/slaves if they use a name...


that might be why i don't feel bad when i correct the oversight.

porcelaine



Could be....it's probably the reason you don't hear from them again...



Usually the spammers just send out thousands like you said, and they just delete what they perceive as negative and go toward the others.  They couldn't care less, they don't even know who they sent to...lol  I mean how many times do you get the exact same spam from the exact same person?....lol

I've had some ask me to block them because they can't/won't keep a list of who they spam to....sad


Actually I have had repeat spam admittedly more on FL where this one guy has sent me exactly the same message 6 times now



can't think of a name off the top of my head but I'll bet ya he's hit me too....lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A sign of respect - 10/18/2009 1:18:20 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

My theory on that is that it's very difficult, if not impossible to send one message to 1000 subs/slaves if they use a name...


that might be why i don't feel bad when i correct the oversight.

porcelaine



Could be....it's probably the reason you don't hear from them again...



Usually the spammers just send out thousands like you said, and they just delete what they perceive as negative and go toward the others.  They couldn't care less, they don't even know who they sent to...lol  I mean how many times do you get the exact same spam from the exact same person?....lol

I've had some ask me to block them because they can't/won't keep a list of who they spam to....sad


Actually I have had repeat spam admittedly more on FL where this one guy has sent me exactly the same message 6 times now



can't think of a name off the top of my head but I'll bet ya he's hit me too....lol


His name is LongPaul............yes he is, I know because it's the only part of him I've ever seen


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 20
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