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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Are high personal standards wrong? Page: [1]
[Poll]

Are high personal standards wrong?


Yes Tithy, you are an arrogant bastard.
  33% (2)
I agree, there is something wrong with this.
  50% (3)
I'unno.
  16% (1)


Total Votes : 6
(last vote on : 10/18/2009 7:34:29 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 5:46:15 PM   
tithdaeron


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/16/2009
Status: offline 		It seems to me that holding high standards for oneself and one's associates is almost a social faux pas as of late.

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed this? In a way this goes along with forming an opinion. People in general (in my opinion *GASP* ) seem to be becoming much more week minded, narrow in scope, and submissive in spirit (not in a BDSM context). It concerns me very much.

So to my F/friends, I put the question, am I alone in this view on things?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 5:50:47 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Holding oneself to high standards, and choosing associates that will allow one to progress to meet one's own expectations is not, in any way, wrong. However, a measure of tact and civility will help to smooth the way -- in other words, it is not rude to hold such expectations, either for oneself or others... but it -may- be rude, and more, to tell someone else that the reason one is not associating with hir is because xhe does not meet one's standards. While honesty is a valuable commodity, poorly expressed it may also be a weapon -- or may generate undesired social awkwardness, at the very least.

Also, if you are hoping for any kind of reasonable input to support your premise from the poll you created, you might want to consider adding an option for people to agree with you that high standards for oneself and one's associates are -not- wrong.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 10/18/2009 5:52:11 PM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to tithdaeron)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 5:53:51 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		I have high personal standards for myself, and my partner.
There is nothing wrong with having high personal standards at all.
In fact, most people's standards are too low.

(in reply to tithdaeron)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 5:59:40 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		What do you mean by weak minded?
I have high personal standards for myself and those I associate with. If I was spending my time with those who had standards I could not accept, it would be my fault for choosing to associate with them.

And I would suggest you rethink your equating submissive with weakminded and low morals. It is not a way to gain friends and influence enemies, nor get you a submissive if that's what you think of them.

_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to VeryMercurial)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 6:04:40 PM   
tithdaeron


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/16/2009
Status: offline 		Some clarifications:

Submissiveness and weak mindedness in my first post is NOT used in the context of a BDSM relationship, but rather in the context of one's own opinion, forming of said opinions, and the knowledge (implied or actual) to do so. I find that many people around are willing to believe anything they read or hear and form opinions. There is not any fact checking. They submit themselves to other's opinions, whether they be malformed or not. To me this equates laziness, which is a personality weakness.




< Message edited by tithdaeron -- 10/18/2009 6:05:22 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 6:14:16 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tithdaeron

It seems to me that holding high standards for oneself and one's associates is almost a social faux pas as of late.


as a child i was taught that i could never be everything to everyone. if you allow people to pigeonhole you and force their ideas and social customs upon you they will. we possess a filter called the brain and it should utilized to sift through data to determine what is fitting and what isn't appropriate.

i can't foist my standards on other people. they are going to live their lives according to their belief system. my decision is whether it can coexist with mine or if we are simply too different to relate in ways i deem important. the only person that can truthfully hold accountable is the one i see each day in the mirror. it is generally much easier to affiliate with those with similar values and shared interests. of course there's no guarantee that changes won't occur on our side of the fence or theirs.

where i find myself in disagreement is in the need to assign negative connotations to those who think and feel differently about themselves. what i may consider less than may be more than adequate for their needs. there has to be a bit wisdom applied and a willingness to accept that our opinions are somewhat subjective  where others are concerned. i'm of the belief that you need various types to make the world go round. everyone isn't going to be ethical, overachievers, nor desire to stand out either. people are people and we must be willing to extend the same tolerance we desire for our choices and lifestyles to others who think and live differently.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to tithdaeron)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 6:17:10 PM   
tithdaeron


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/16/2009
Status: offline 		Thank you for your well thought out and well written reply porcelaine, I'll spend a good deal of time pondering over it. 

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 6:20:11 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I couldn't answer the poll, because My personal answer isn't listed.

Mine would have been a resounding NO.  I know My personal standards are high.  I'm very well aware of the fact that a lot of people don't live up to them.  I expect more out of Myself than anyone else would ever expect of Me.  When it comes to others in My intimate life, I absolutely want the cream of the crop.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 6:27:07 PM   
tithdaeron


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I couldn't answer the poll, because My personal answer isn't listed.

Mine would have been a resounding NO.  I know My personal standards are high.  I'm very well aware of the fact that a lot of people don't live up to them.  I expect more out of Myself than anyone else would ever expect of Me.  When it comes to others in My intimate life, I absolutely want the cream of the crop.



Maybe I should have worded the poll answers better, I wrote them in after having written my post so the context is kind of backwards.
I believe you are looking for the second option.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 6:39:50 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		FR, after read thru

The historical base seems skimpy. Compared to when? You seem to be making an assertion about the current direction of the general culture . . . .. So, I'd say, how do modern Western people's gullibility compare to the gullibility of the earlier Western Civ masses who believed in all kinds of magical thinking stuff, for instance? At least the quality of data people believe in unthinkingly is getting better, in my opinion. Historically, from a big picture perspective.

& there's a severe limit in how much the individual can know directly; a large part of amassing a significant body of knowledge is relying on outside sources. Nor can any individual come close to knowing everything, knowledge is perforce distributed & we share in it . . . . .



After all, it would really suck if we all had to discover all the knowledge of history, from scratch, all by our little lonesome selves . .. . . I studied calculus & I think asking people to originate that material is maybe a little excessive, but maybe my standards are slack?



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Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to tithdaeron)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 6:40:20 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tithdaeron

Some clarifications:

Submissiveness and weak mindedness in my first post is NOT used in the context of a BDSM relationship, but rather in the context of one's own opinion, forming of said opinions, and the knowledge (implied or actual) to do so. I find that many people around are willing to believe anything they read or hear and form opinions. There is not any fact checking. They submit themselves to other's opinions, whether they be malformed or not. To me this equates laziness, which is a personality weakness.





Then why use the term in a place where you know most people will misread it?
Beyond that, not everything needs to be questioned. I don't feel the need to decide for myself that taking potshots at people from high balconies is wrong, I can just accept that.

Plus it's kind of ironic that in a place where all the submissive minded types don't question what to do, you want them to. We have here a perfect example of not questioning everything, because it ruins the dynamic.

I do accept his opinion. I don't feel it necessary to challenge him on everything. In fact there are lots of people I don't feel it necessary to challenge. The doctor who looked in my ear and diagnosed an infection for example. I felt no need for a second opinion. I don't challenge my lawyer or the accountant and lots of others.

It sounds as though what you're really upset about is that people are accepting other people's opinions instead of yours. You can't demand the right to tell them what to do, you have to earn it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to tithdaeron)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 6:46:02 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tithdaeron

Some clarifications:

Submissiveness and weak mindedness in my first post is NOT used in the context of a BDSM relationship, but rather in the context of one's own opinion, forming of said opinions, and the knowledge (implied or actual) to do so. I find that many people around are willing to believe anything they read or hear and form opinions. There is not any fact checking. They submit themselves to other's opinions, whether they be malformed or not. To me this equates laziness, which is a personality weakness.



The personal standards I hold myself too are mine and mine alone. They have evolved to be at a level which I wanted them to be which I consider to be acceptable for me alone. If people view my opinions to be lazy or weak, that is only because they do not realize that I use a great deal of self restraint and plenty of tact in order that I do not alienate everyone in my life. Time and experience has shown to be a wise path to follow.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to tithdaeron)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 7:29:25 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Good question, OP.

No, there isn't anything wrong with standards. Not letting those standards to cause you to look down your nose at others can be the tricky part.

Having said that, yeah, people that just believe whatever they're told

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Are high personal standards wrong? - 10/18/2009 7:31:38 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		High personal standards are not wrong.  Too-high personal standards are.  As are too-low standards.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 14
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