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IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/19/2009 9:37:29 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


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THIS comes from a  question posed in another thread..
that with
the last 5000 years of patriarchal chaos and diabolization of relationship..body..spirit....and general fukkedupness...

HOW COULD THEY BE?
HOW DID THEY DEVELOP/? IF THEY ARE
IF your "man"/mate/sub is submissive...was he when you met?
and how did you enhance this?

GM
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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/19/2009 9:41:27 PM   
BKSir


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I should hope so, or my pet and I are going to have severe problems, especially after 3 years now.  There are people of all sexes of all personality types.  Plain and simple.

Edit, to answer the rest.  We actually met online, in Second Life.  Moved forward to RL about 2ish years ago.  And yes, he was quite submissive then.  Enhance it?  I didn't really need to "do" anything to enhance it.  We cliqued, he was him, I was me, easy peasy.

Why shouldn't there be submissive males out there?  Just as there are "control freaks", there is the oft not thought about other side of the coin.  The ones that have the emotional and mental need to be controlled.


< Message edited by BKSir -- 10/19/2009 9:44:08 PM >


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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/19/2009 9:46:58 PM   
Elipsis


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5000 years of patriarchal society has hardly any influence on an individual in comparison to their own personal life experiences.

Given that I wasn't around during the Egyptian empire, their way of thinking has less to do with my sexual and power exchange appetites than, say, my past relationships.

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/19/2009 10:15:32 PM   
SteelofUtah


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Yes there are submissive men. I have met 4 in my life.

I have met lots of Creepy guys who get off on acting creepy.... then they call it submissive.

Steel

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/19/2009 10:23:34 PM   
MadameMarque


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~ reply to OP ~

Hello, Theory - meet Reality.  If you've never come across a male you'd identify as submissive in nature, thus far, then I'd guess you are just disinclined to believe it when you see it. 

There are plenty of males who behave submissively to all different degrees.  Some of them are even mixed in with the guys who claim to be sub.  Yes, it's true.




< Message edited by MadameMarque -- 10/19/2009 10:25:27 PM >

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 12:46:25 AM   
Hierodule


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Whether its a boss, a bully on the playground, a highway patrol officer, a car jacker or some asshole at a bar there is alway a man more dominant than the next man, esp. within a patriarchal society. There have to be levels of dominance and submission with in every society or the meek would rise up and murder their oppressors way too often and no one would get around to doing stuff like building pyramids . There have been just as many men enslaved throughout the 2000 years of patriarchy as there were woman. so I think that means yes. Some men can be, and are, submissive

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 2:52:05 AM   
LadyPact


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Yes, there really are submissive males.  Not quite as many who claim themselves to be, but they do exist.

Yes, clip was submissive when I met him.  Not in a structured D/s kind of way, mind you.  All of that was foreign to him at the time.  How it developed, I couldn't tell you.  All I can say is that he was born with a submissive heart.

How did I enhance it?  I gave him guidance.  I helped to teach him.  I gave him an introduction to this world that he didn't have before.  From the moment he found the place at My feet, it fit him.  It's been his place ever since.


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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 3:20:27 AM   
Santoro


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At the risk of responding to your question in a manner that appears dismissing allow me to paraphrase a comment made by ShakiSama in another thread. “But in many cases, “make me the man I should be” is really a cry of ronin,—the samurai without a master. Of course there are submissive men, many very powerful honorable men that do not fit the sub-cultures stereotype or meet the cry of desperation and I personally believe ShakiSama described them well in the Samurai without a master.

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 4:14:52 AM   
DesFIP


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Put a group of men together and only one can be the leader at a time. The others will be submissive to the alpha. So yes, obviously men have to be able to follow orders in order for civilization to occur. No matter what is espoused in terms of what they ought to do, it doesn't work that way or they would never have been able to work together.

Hard wiring trumps braggadocio any day.

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 4:48:14 AM   
OrionTheWolf


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There is a difference between submissive and deference. In a group of males there will develope a natural pecking order, from Alpha on down. That is what I refer to as natural stratification, and is seen throughout the world.

To the OP, males have differing forms of submission and have done so through out time. Sometimes it is an actual personality trait, and others it may just be a procreation strategy.

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 4:53:30 AM   
IronBear


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There are men who are naturally submissive, there are men who are submissive to another who earns their subjugation, there are men who submit to the disciplines of an organization (Strict family home, boarding school, military and other similar bodies). Then there are men who are natural leaders and have a dominant trait and then there are the alpha males (only one in each pack).

I know a number of men who are submissive to some degree and know two very well who are bordering between being a submissive to their Mistresses and being a slave to their Mistress. So aye there are submissive men around and yes there are submissive in a D/s BDSM perspective too.


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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 6:27:20 AM   
allthatjaz


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A sub to me is like a rough stone that needs sculpting. He is either going to inspire me to work with him and create something beautiful or he is not going to inspire me to work with him at all. Just as an artist has a preferred medium, a Domme has a preferred type and if you are as fussy as I am then that's going to be like looking for that one slither of gold in a whole pile of tin.


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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 10:09:29 AM   
Acer49


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

THIS comes from a  question posed in another thread..
that with
the last 5000 years of patriarchal chaos and diabolization of relationship..body..spirit....and general fukkedupness...

HOW COULD THEY BE?
HOW DID THEY DEVELOP/? IF THEY ARE
IF your "man"/mate/sub is submissive...was he when you met?
and how did you enhance this?

GM

quote:

patriarchal


Using your facts and definition, Some may say, how could a woman possibly be a dominant, maybe you need to expand your definition of a man
Before we were man or woman resprctively, we were human and our only difference was ond could deliver children and the both had different body parts, but inside we are identical



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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 11:04:48 AM   
MarcEsadrian


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

that with the last 5000 years of patriarchal chaos and diabolization of relationship..body..spirit....and general fukkedupness...



Another herstoric, misandrist barb. How novel, and fairly well digested in this forum. I must ask, however, if you think the genral "fukkedupness" of the world is due to male rule, or human nature in general? Things to ponder. I tend to suspect the latter.

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 11:05:33 AM   
pyroaquatic


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Ah, my attention has been caught with the mention of 'Samurai'.

I love the concept of Bushido...
how.... if ordered to rake, even in 30 mph winds.... one would rake. To be a samurai in shining armor...

^_^

naw naw.... i am not submissive at all. nope. submissive men DO NOT exist.

edit: d'oh


< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 10/20/2009 11:12:12 AM >


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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 11:06:58 AM   
mnottertail


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be the rake, grasshopper

Ha Gakure

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 12:10:22 PM   
Lashra


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quote:

HOW COULD THEY BE?
They were born with the submissive personality traits, just like females who are submissive and any gender in between. What dangles between the legs does not determine whether one is Dom or sub, its whats between the ears.

HOW DID THEY DEVELOP/? IF THEY ARE
They developed like most people develop.

IF your "man"/mate/sub is submissive...was he when you met?

Mine was pretending to be dominant because his Father demanded he be that way, you know a "real" man /sarcasm. Also that is what John Norman and his gor books said, or more likely the gorean chicks he was dating demanded it from him. After he met me and figured out geez not all women are submissive or going to demand me to be what I am not, he took off the mask and showed the world the REAL him for the first time in his life.
and how did you enhance this? I encourage him to be himself and not demand he be anything else.


~Lashra

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 12:14:16 PM   
Justme696


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

Ah, my attention has been caught with the mention of 'Samurai'.

I love the concept of Bushido...
how.... if ordered to rake, even in 30 mph winds.... one would rake. To be a samurai in shining armor...




and it also was the end of the samurais..... loyalty to their ways meant not adapting to the new age.
respectfull and stupid at the same time.

gladly we have good movies :D

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 12:23:31 PM   
DavanKael


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Of course submissive males exist; everyone can't be the Alpha. 
My demeaor and his trust in me caused one of the most formidable males I know to wish to submit to me.  Plugging into what was appealing to him about that allowed me to bring his impulses and our bond to an even higher level. 
  Davan

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RE: IS there such a thing as a submissive man? - 10/20/2009 12:27:23 PM   
subtlebutterfly


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FR:
It's the way of mother nature, one party will always be more in charge than the other. We simply found a name for it..i.e. submissive n dominant.

Is there such a thing as a dominant woman?

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