Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Communication


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Communication Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Communication - 10/20/2009 10:57:10 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		I am sure several will pounce with a different opinion... however I would just like to share that in my personal opinion and experience... Communication and the need thereof is overrated.
Just my two cents,


_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Communication - 10/20/2009 11:06:35 PM   
Annabelle83


Posts: 55
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Status: offline 		I can honestly say that I have never been an effective communicator and probably never will. Even if I could - I doubt that I would. To be honest, if something bothers me, I tend to get it over it quickly, and by the time I would work up the means to communicate an issue - I would no longer have the negative emotion(s) that were associated with it. Now, that does not mean that the experience was negated - merely that it is over and done with. Of course, there have been times that Maggi has stepped up to the plate and communicated something for me, because she knows this.

I have a serious guilt complex, so no matter what the situation is, I will end up feeling that it is my fault. So why make matters worse when I know that I will end up that way? Of course, this is all applies to negative feelings in reference to communication.

Even when it comes to positive, I am not good at it.

Thing is, my relationship seems to work fine as it is. There are moments where the communication flows and I am able to express myself as I feel. But it is rare - but enough.

I kind of agree - but know that some level of it is necessary for a relationship to work.

_____________________________

"It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked through understanding." ~Kahlil Gibran

15 NZ Points! Yay!

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Communication - 10/20/2009 11:10:24 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		"I kind of agree - but know that some level of it is necessary for a relationship to work", thus sayeth the Annabelle.

I agree. This is why I stated that I feel it to be overrated not inessential.

_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*

(in reply to Annabelle83)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Communication - 10/20/2009 11:21:48 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

Communication and the need thereof is overrated.


i believe there are many ways to communicate and being fluent in them never hurts. there are moments when words cannot be found or they merely get in the way and add confusion to situations that may already be difficult. the varying modes of expression can be refreshing for those that experience discomfort in articulating their concerns. i'm even a proponent for silence during challenging times when continued dialogue would prove to be destructive. however, there are moments when it is necessary to reach out and talk. how two people choose to do that is up to them.

i have witnessed the horrors of failed communication and seen things unravel before my eyes. leaving me hurt, confused, and disheartened. the value of communication can be taken for granted until that opportunity no longer exists. it is then we realize how much was never said or should have never been uttered.

i can't say that i'd ever wish to do without this either. i'm not a mind reader and attempting to guess or draw assumptions doesn't make me comfortable. i have been way off the mark before. i can think of nothing more touching than when someone comes to me during their weakest moment with all that is bubbling inside and extends a hand. i need you never sounded so good.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 1:07:03 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		I did not hear what you said.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 2:56:19 AM   
Santoro


Posts: 58
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline 		I believe communication is of infinite importance; however I am perhaps the world’s foremost advocate of the one word sentence believing communication is not limited to speaking and/or writing.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 3:33:36 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me communication is of the utmost importance. I'm not a mindreader. I don't expect my partner to be either. Without it I would have no clue about much of anything and I find that when I'm around those who do not communicate I am completely lost.

(in reply to Santoro)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 3:54:38 AM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		Communication is crucial to me, but I don't think it has to be verbal. Body language, for example, is mighty powerful, and really intense sex with someone I have a deep and honest relationship can be an act of profound communication for me.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 4:11:53 AM   
oceanwynds1


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/20/2009
Status: offline 		Communication for me  now is a must. One thing I have learned is if i am not listen to regarding how something has effect me, then i am really not being honor for who i am. At this moment i am very raw emotionally due to the lack of communication, so will not write a lot about this. Communication is vital and know you are being heard is a blessing.

(in reply to lucylucy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 4:18:08 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

I am sure several will pounce with a different opinion... however I would just like to share that in my personal opinion and experience... Communication and the need thereof is overrated.
Just my two cents,



It's hard to pounce on something that is wispy in its outlines or unsolid, well, cats and laser pointers aside! ;)

Can you give some details about why you think that way? I'm not sure what you mean.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 4:25:09 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Santoro

I believe communication is of infinite importance; however I am perhaps the world’s foremost advocate of the one word sentence believing communication is not limited to speaking and/or writing.



And what word is that? :p

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to Santoro)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 4:30:29 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm not a mind reader. And we've had a couple of major fights that afterwards we have always discovered shouldn't have occurred if only both of us had been able to express what we were feeling.

Beyond that, like oceanwynd, I need to be heard. If you ignore what I say, then you invalidate me. I'm not willing to be in a relationship where I am invalidated, ignored, pushed to the sidelines. There are two of us here, and both of us must have our needs met, both of us must be happy to be here or the relationship ends. And for me to be happy, I must be acknowledged. He doesn't have to agree with me, but he must acknowledge me.

With that said, there are times better for talking than others and times when verbal communication must take a back seat to a wordless, physical reassurance of love. I am not a practitioner of not going to bed angry, I much prefer going to bed and holding each other for however long it takes to go to sleep, having been calmed by that wordless hour long hug. And then when you're calmer, and able to verbalize you do so.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 5:11:25 AM   
ncbabe


Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

I did not hear what you said.


:)

(in reply to aldompdx)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 5:17:21 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

I am sure several will pounce with a different opinion... however I would just like to share that in my personal opinion and experience... Communication and the need thereof is overrated.
Just my two cents,


Sorry, but communication is very important. Whether it be verbal or non-verbal, you can not effectively interact with other people without some form of communication at all times.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 5:18:31 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		Some are talkative and some aren't. Even though you may not communicate with them in words you constantly do it through your actions so I'd say it is not overrated, you just aren't aware of the constant "subconscious" communication which goes on.

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to ncbabe)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 5:22:08 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		sometimes you can talk till you are blue in the face and get nowhere
sometimes actions speak louder than words

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 5:24:31 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

I am sure several will pounce with a different opinion... however I would just like to share that in my personal opinion and experience... Communication and the need thereof is overrated.
Just my two cents,


I will speak only for myself when I say communication is very important. For those of you who do not feel the need, well as long as it works for you, that is all that truely matters

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 5:27:57 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
He doesn't have to agree with me, but he must acknowledge me.

YES! I have said this to Master on more than one occasion. "You may not agree with me, you may not change Your mind and You may not even really see my point. But, please, just hear it and then decide." And He does. That is vital to me. Just being heard and truly listened to makes all the difference, regardless of the end decision........luci


< Message edited by slaveluci -- 10/21/2009 5:28:28 AM >

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 5:28:57 AM   
oceanwynds1


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

sometimes you can talk till you are blue in the face and get nowhere
sometimes actions speak louder than words


Action to me is a major part of communication. When words don't match the actions they are communicating something very important to you.

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Communication - 10/21/2009 5:30:31 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Talking is overrated, in my opinion, but communication is of utmost importance to a relationship.

It was only by communicating that Inked Master and I found each other, by communication we grew to know each other, through communication we discovered compatibility.  By communication we became Master and slave, and by daily communication we love each other more ever day.  We don't always talk a lot but we communicate constantly.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Communication Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141