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ORIGINAL: GoddessImaginos

I am there with you, sister, not merely wherein all the specific concerns of this lifestyle lie, but much if not most of the rest of my life also. Please CM me if you need to talk - it's nice to know that neither of us is alone, yes?
But for the moment, a hot shower summons. If I don't get right back to you, I will as soon as I am able.
Love and Peace. All will be well.

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ORIGINAL: windchymes

I'll just answer your "how to get through it" question, rather than offer up a whole bunch of advice :)

Time passing has gotten me through pretty much all the rough patches in life.  Just get the time to go by by sleeping, staring at mindless tv, reading bad books, doing crossword puzzles, whatever helps you sort of "withdraw" and go internal, go to the girl cave :)   I've always found that sometimes even after just one good long night of sleep or just hearing some kind or reassuring words from someone special, things don't seem so bad, even if it's just a little bit not so bad.

"This too shall pass" is a good saying.  It's true.  And I always tell myself, "just get through the day" or the week, or maybe the next few months.  At least that way, it feels like there is an endin sight.

Hang in there, we love ya here [:)]

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet

This is where I am. Nearly ever last one of those senarios I listed apply to me, this time in my life, and how I feel. I feel like I am cracking under the weight of it all and I don't know what to do. I am panicked somehow. I am sickened by myself. I fear what the future holds. I feel like my whole world is about to come undone. Where to does a person go from this place? How do you reconsile with yourself? How am I supposed to look myself in the mirror again?

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ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Hi, lovingpet----
and < hugs >. 
I don't know that I have had a darkight of the soul related to power dynamics stuff (ith the exception of the lack there-of) but surely understand more broad dark nights of the soul and the 'wtf has my life become?!' moments.  They suck.  My mantra is that I walk on, when I can not walk, I crawl until I can stand again, then I walk on.  It may seem a tedium but it's also a dogged determination when things just weigh too heavily. 
You often offer very sage advice to folks about hanging in there and I am going to say the same thing to you: let time and good efforts lift the darkness.  You have an inner light; while you may lose sight of it sometimes, it's there. 
  Davan

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I don't overanalyze things in my life.
If I'm happy then I take it to the max and enjoy every second without trying to figure out why.
If I'm sad then I try different things to change that into happiness.
Once that happens then I revert back to the happy rule.

The negative things in your life only have as much control as you let them.

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ORIGINAL: porcelaine

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet

This is where I am. Nearly ever last one of those senarios I listed apply to me, this time in my life, and how I feel. I feel like I am cracking under the weight of it all and I don't know what to do. I am panicked somehow. I am sickened by myself. I fear what the future holds. I feel like my whole world is about to come undone. Where to does a person go from this place? How do you reconsile with yourself? How am I supposed to look myself in the mirror again?

yes i have felt like this in the past and i was very unsettled like you are right now. i cried and my emotions were all over the place. i didn't know what was happening then but finally managed to settle myself. i found solace in silence and by turning inward and facing the things that were causing my discomfort. in my case it had to do with surrender and all that i'd be losing. we've spoken intimately enough for you to understand what i mean by this. we say the words and bubble with excitement and then reality starts to creep inside our minds and the teetering begins. in all honesty you will endure this more than once. the frequency of such truthfully depends on you. i reached out in the past but when i experience it now i shut everyone out and turn inward to realign myself.

it isn't anything external, but things inside of you that only you can calm. i'm sure he will do everything in his power to make you feel settled and safe, but you have to work at it as well. i have spoken to you about the sufferance and the ache. embrace it and visualize him when you do. don't fight the emotional tide, let it happen so you can release these feelings and draw strength from your ability to withstand them. i have a few methods i utilized that might be helpful for you. we can discuss them later if you'd like.

i can promise you this. it does get better, but the twinges will continue until you find your legs and realize that swaying won't topple you at all. as difficult as this moment is it brings forth many things that take you places i know you're longing to go. be patient and know you're not alone, even when it feels as such.

*kisses your forehead and smiles softly*

porcelaine
xoxo

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I only ever felt like this in my last relationship because we were so completely mismatched and every moment longer I spent with him the worse I felt about myself but it wasn't because of my submission to him or how much control I gave to him but because we simply were incompatible and I was thoroughly unhappy.

At that point it just all came to a screeching halt when  he finally crossed the lines of my morals and ethics and the relationship ended.

With my current Master I can't ever say I've felt that way because I try my best to keep the lines of communication open and when I'm feeling something I make it known to him in the best way I can. We talk about it and we move on. He's yet to disappoint me when it comes to that. With him my submission just flows freely and comfortably.

If you're struggling with your submission or how much control you've given over then you need to ask yourself if this is truly what you desire. Do you feel comfortable with what you are doing? What is it that bothers you about it and why?

There are questions you need to ask yourself before you can talk to your partner even.

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ORIGINAL: playfulotter

All I can say "lovingpet" is that you should think of yourself as the biggest priority and you are the only one who can make yourself happy. As far as we all know implicitly we only live once....well I think that way anyway...and for each of us contentment comes in a different package and you just have to find yours. Thanks again for the advice you gave me a few weeks ago!

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Early on he hit an emotional trigger that left me unable to handle anything. So he didn't make me have to. We went all the way back to the beginning. Just cuddling and hugs and soft sex. And it might have been a good six months before I could get back to anything we had been doing.

But the relationship is more important to us than the activities. And if I'm not happy, then the relationship isn't going to go well. So we stop doing the things that make either of us feel bad and we do more sensual stuff.

I think this is what happens when you're an adrenaline junkie, so to speak, you need bigger and bigger thrills to get the same jolt. What I can say is that if you quit doing anything then in six months a simply erotic spanking will be overwhelming. And maybe, to stay sane, you need to take those breaks so you can go back to the beginning.

It's the difference between being content hiking two miles on the same trail every day, noticing what flowers are blooming, which trees are changing colors, and people who need a bigger challenge so they're off planning tougher hikes and climbs until there they are at base camp at Everest. And have no place else to go.