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I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 3:51:15 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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The (almost) worst case scenario has come to pass.

By the beginning of December, my son will be in Afghanistan. He called yesterday- he only found out Friday. He was supposed to go to the Philippines next year, but they need his specialty now.

I am so trying to be strong. I kept myself from losing it when he told me and I was calm telling my other two kids.

Master just let me be, until He teased me about something totally unrelated and I broke down in his arms and sobbed like He's never seen me sob. (He later distracted me as only a sadistic Master can

)

You guys helped me deal with this son's emergency appendectomy (and almost losing him during the surgery), his decision to join the Marines and his leaving for Boot Camp.

Can you help me figure out a way to live day to day knowing he's in harm's way?

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 3:52:28 PM

mnottertail

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what is his specialty?

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 3:57:35 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
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From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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I'm not allowed to know.

The building where he did his training had the words "Cryptologic Research" on it. And the sign outside the base said "Center for Information Dominance". I'm not kidding. I have a picture of Master standing beside it.

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 4:06:42 PM

mnottertail

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cryptologic, why: thats cipherin like jethro done.

He will be a very well taken care of young man, they will prolly even get girls flown in to suck his cock every weekend, he will be far out of gun range, them folks are a big investment and dont grow on trees, hes gonna have it better than you, and you can fuckin quote me, honey.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 4:07:00 PM

purepleasure

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From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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More than likely he will not be on the front line, and in a protected area. Most encryption/code deciphering personnel are well protected by their commerades.

But as a mom, you will worry. It's part of the job.

Big Hugs to you, and lots or prayers for you and yours,
Pure

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 4:08:04 PM

DarkSteven

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hejira, this is not going to be easy but... let it go. He's a grown man, in others' hands, and you can't do much more than pray. So pray for him.

Think of it this way - he'd be much happier knowing that his mother isn't worrying herself sick.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 10/25/2009 4:09:17 PM >

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 4:12:32 PM

VampiresLair

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Assuming he wasnt in the Cryptology Department because he made superior coffee, and being that he is being brought in because his specialty is necessary there, you can bet he is going to be one of the best kept secrets they have there. If he is being brought in because he is that damn good, they arent going to let him be any where near harms way. You are a mom, no matter what anyone says to you, you are going to worry. But, keep it in mind that he is being brought over there becasue he is irreplacable... so they are going to make sure they never have to worry about replacing him. Next time he is sent state side, youll get hugs and kisses and hes going to tell you you worry too much.

DV

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 4:31:31 PM

DrkJourney

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I can't tell you not to worry, you're going to do that. What I do know is that once he gets there and he starts calling you and telling you what he can about his day to day, it'll be easier.

When my husband first left (he also has a specialty which I know but can get into), I didn't think I could take it. I stayed in bed curled up in a little ball for about a week or two. Then he started calling me regularly, telling me some of the things going on, even how "bored" he is most of the time, and just how routine things are, and although still worried, you feel a whole lot better. They even have shops, and places like Subway and Burger King on his base.

You will still get your "twinges" but overall, once things get going you'll feel better, at least I did. Actually you are lucky, you are just finding out and he's going soon. When we found out we had months of that hanging over our heads to the point that I was kind of relieved when he left just so we could get it going and get it over with.

Also, what helped me was meeting some of the guys he's over there with. The way they are and take care of each other, and how everyone is family is really great. They were all coming up to me at different times telling me how my husband was going to be fine and how they would take care of him. (hmmm...and I thought I was putting on such a brave act....guess I was a wreck...lol). So if they have a family day before they deploy, make sure you go if you can.

If you can, go through where ever they are working out of and see or organize a spouse/family group. We have a group of wives, mothers, sisters, etc. that meet once a month, at a bar, a park, wherever, and we just talk and have fun, really helps to know you're not alone. Find out who his ombudsman is and stay in phone and/or email contact with her or him. The will keep you well informed and will talk to you when you need it. And for goodness sake NEVER look at the news...you'll drive yourself nuts.

You can always contact me on the other side if you need anything

He'll be fine, he's very well trained...just keep good thoughts.

My prayers are with the both of you

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 4:43:59 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
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From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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Thank you, all. Your words really do help.

DrkJourney, He's stationed in Hawaii, so I don't know his coworkers. The whole platoon isn't going- fewer than 10 are being sent. I'm kinda afraid of getting involved in a group because I see it as another place I would either have to be strong or would allow myself to fall apart at regularly. I know that doesn't make sense, but I'm not too logical right now. I'm not a group-type girl. I'm even hiding from October being Breast Cancer Awareness month (if it's possible to avoid everything in the world being pink- even NFL uniforms). Everyone thinks that, being a survivor, I'd be into it, but I just want to not think about it and not define myself by some stupid disease that will never get the best of me.

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Post #: 9

RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 5:03:28 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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You're going to live each day whether he's there or not, so you might as well get a handle on that now. I'd be the last person to tell you that it doesn't suck, but you learn how to handle 'sucks'.

To add to what DrkJ said, we family members actually have it a lot better than those of wars past. You'd be amazed how much contact you get either by phone or over the net. Hell, I get to 'talk' with clip for two hours every morning, which is more than some people talk to their own spouse. Some places are better than others, of course, but most of the fobs are better than you think.

If you're this upset now, I'd suggest you stop watching the news once he's in theater. Half of what comes from over there is junk and only provides you with more material to worry about.

Put the nervous energy to good use. I'm not much of one for the organized military family thing either, but there's a hell off a lot of good you can do in the kink community the same way. You'd be surprised how many kinky folks have military ties and even more that just want to be supportive. There's a lot of potential there. You'll come across a lot of people who want to help out in one way or another. Heck, we had a whole munch group that wanted to help support clip by sending encouraging emails. I've had tons of help from the kink community during deployments.

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 5:12:35 PM

DrkJourney

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

Thank you, all. Your words really do help.

DrkJourney, He's stationed in Hawaii, so I don't know his coworkers. The whole platoon isn't going- fewer than 10 are being sent. I'm kinda afraid of getting involved in a group because I see it as another place I would either have to be strong or would allow myself to fall apart at regularly. I know that doesn't make sense, but I'm not too logical right now. I'm not a group-type girl. I'm even hiding from October being Breast Cancer Awareness month (if it's possible to avoid everything in the world being pink- even NFL uniforms). Everyone thinks that, being a survivor, I'd be into it, but I just want to not think about it and not define myself by some stupid disease that will never get the best of me.

Then stay in contact with the ombudman. They don't care if you fall apart, they certainly don't expect you to be strong, it was really comforting to see that they weren't all that strong either, they were going through things, sometimes worse, just like me....they've been there done that, and their "person" is over there too, so they are usually actively going through the same thing. That's what they are there for. When all this first started I first called, then it was emailing back and forth and trust me I could've easily been fitted for a straight jacket. She helped a lot, telling me how normal it was and things she went through and things she did that helped, once she was ready.

Trust me, I'm far from a "joiner" and it did take me a while to get in touch. If you don't want to talk to them at least make sure you are on their emailing list, that way you can get sent updates on what's going on with them.

I had people tell me to "get over it".....yeah that's really helpful (eye roll), and people saying to get involved in things it will help pass the time, which it will...but you do these things in your own time, and you will. Have your big old pity party...get it out of your system, then you can move on.

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 5:13:53 PM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I'm not allowed to know.

The building where he did his training had the words "Cryptologic Research" on it. And the sign outside the base said "Center for Information Dominance". I'm not kidding. I have a picture of Master standing beside it.

(((Hugs))))))) Sweet Lady. You're stronger than you realize and I know you
AND your son will survive this. We're here for you and you have such a supportive Master. You will get thru this and before you know it your son will be home again ready for a home cooked meal

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 5:15:49 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
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oh yeah, and I forgot the most helpful resource I've had during this thing is Lady P up there....boy has that woman listen to me whine or what....LOL I know some of the times she wanted to send the guys in the little white coats...lol

smooches LP

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 5:24:22 PM

Rule

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Be confident.

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Post #: 14

RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 5:34:39 PM

devilishpixie

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Joined: 10/15/2009
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I don't envy those left behind by our soldiers when they are deployed.
You all are as much hereos as they are, remember that.

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 5:36:22 PM

lronitulstahp

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(((((((hejira)))))))
i have prayed for him during the dangerous time of the appendectomy, and will continue to do so. i am sending loving thoughts and energy your way.

Your hunky Master, and the other two ums still at home will get you through this.

Thank you for raising an honorable young man that will be serving our country and preserving democracy. Please tell him tulip da pimpette thanks him for his service, and will be praying for his safe return home. Let's start planning the "Back in the USA" barbecue!!!! He'll be hungry when he gets back....

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 5:44:15 PM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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*hugs Hejira*

Prayers for you all, and you know I'm just a phone call away.....

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 6:17:29 PM

fluffypet61

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i don't have any suggestions to add to the others besides stay in touch here on CM. i want you to know that i am praying for you, your family, your son, and all the others who serve in the military.

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RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 7:02:40 PM

cjan

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I agree with Ron. Be cool, hejira. Your boy is as safe as any of us can be, despite his assignment to that shithole.

Best Wishes tto you both.
CJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

cryptologic, why: thats cipherin like jethro done.

He will be a very well taken care of young man, they will prolly even get girls flown in to suck his cock every weekend, he will be far out of gun range, them folks are a big investment and dont grow on trees, hes gonna have it better than you, and you can fuckin quote me, honey.

Ron

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Post #: 19

RE: I don't know how to handle this. - 10/25/2009 9:42:28 PM

MistressLavinia

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From: DFWM in the Land of LaviKinks
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Faith in a higher power, Keep your faith. Im also in your area so if you need reinforcement, or a shoulder, Im available.

Lavinia

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Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. -- Frank Herbert

Fools despise wisdom and discipline. -- Proverbs 1:7

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