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slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 1:08:37 AM   
whtUwant


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/8/2009
Status: offline 		i am curious as to how other  slaves ,follow all orders, when your life offline conficts with those orders?,  i am lucky to have a smart and kind Master, but i wonder how others deal.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 1:25:45 AM   
SubOnlyForHim


Posts: 787
Joined: 8/19/2009
Status: offline 		Is your relationship online only? My Master and i live 10 minutes apart and connect in real-time. W/we both have other things going on in O/our lives and to be compatible, W/we must RESPECT that on both ends of the kneel. Sir must also know what these other things ARE, so that Sir does not order this one to do something that will conflict.

_____________________________

just call me "sophie" ~~~ Thanks, sirsholly, for the new nick! i now feel so special. Whoohoooo!

*committed*

~The more answers i get, the more questions i have.~







(in reply to whtUwant)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 2:12:42 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		With clip being half a world away, I get asked these kinds of things a lot.  How do you control him when he's not physically with you?  How do you maintain things like full disclosure when he's not in the situation to be allowed to tell you everything due to circumstances?  How does he follow your orders when all of the orders about eating, sleeping, what he wears are dictated by Mistress Military?

The answer is pretty simple.  It comes in two parts.  Number one, I don't sweat the small stuff.  Number two, I can't expect the boy to give Me control in areas where he has none to give.  If the choice was his about what to wear in the morning or what time he got to go to bed rather than be up late for guard duty, then yes, I'd have control over those areas.  In the grand scheme of life, these are really trivial things.  They are fun to play with, but there's something a little more important going on right now that makes such things take a back seat.  The greater good comes from him following what he has to do there until he comes back to the states.

Sure, I could give him illogical commands where he would be put in a place of having to choose between disobeying what he was told or obeying the command that would be to his detriment.  I don't because there's no sense in it.  Not only would it have a negative impact on him, but there's really no benefit to Me.  If I put him in a losing position to start, I don't see how that makes My life easier.  It's just a matter of being practical.

Having power over someone isn't always about proving that you have it.  The responsibility that comes from having it should play a part in how it's exercised. 




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SubOnlyForHim)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 2:55:30 AM   
whtUwant


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/8/2009
Status: offline 		 as i said i was curious how people handled there situations,   having to hold a relationship online can be tricky ,   i am lucky my Master is smart and understanding,  but i see how this could present problems for some people.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 3:26:09 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I talk to him and let him know what's going on or why I couldn't do something. We work it out.

(in reply to whtUwant)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 5:33:37 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Being a Master means he is in control of your life.  Being a good Master means that he understands that you do have other things going on in your life, and allows for them and influences them in a positive manner.  For example, I once made a sub who was in college quit behaviors that were not conducive to her studying.

If a Master gives orders that conflict with other life events, either he has determined to influence those events for his slave's betterment, or else he's not a Master.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 6:01:17 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whtUwant

i am curious as to how other  slaves ,follow all orders, when your life offline conficts with those orders?,  i am lucky to have a smart and kind Master, but i wonder how others deal.


I can only speak of my experiences. Before making an order, I consider all possible would be conflicts, If at some point I error in my judgement, I expect her to use her common and sense. 99.9% of the time, this will give her the proper answer to the conflict.

< Message edited by Acer49 -- 10/26/2009 6:04:48 AM >

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to whtUwant)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 6:46:09 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whtUwant

as i said i was curious how people handled there situations,   having to hold a relationship online can be tricky ,   i am lucky my Master is smart and understanding,  but i see how this could present problems for some people.


I don't have online only slaves. It seems utterly ridiculous to me.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to whtUwant)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 7:29:23 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Back when we were LDR, this did occasionally happen. I simply did what I had to do for real life and emailed him whenever I could to tell him of the conflict.

There was no way I was going to escort a school hiking trip in the short skirt and heels he had picked for me to wear that day.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 8:35:11 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whtUwant
i am curious as to how other  slaves ,follow all orders, when your life offline conficts with those orders?,  i am lucky to have a smart and kind Master, but i wonder how others deal.
What's to work out? My computer is dumb as a brick and does exactly what I tell it to. Carol, happily, is much smarter and so she does what I wanted her to do. Carol and I live together in a tiny little cottage, but we are not joined at the hip. If I give her some command which conflicts with common sense or what she knows about my desires and I'm not around to clarify, she exercises her judgement. Later on, if I disagree with her judgement, we talk it through so next time she can do it better.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to whtUwant)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 10:31:04 AM   
Domitianus


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I can't expect the boy to give Me control in areas where he has none to give.  ... 
 
Having power over someone isn't always about proving that you have it.  The responsibility that comes from having it should play a part in how it's exercised. 



In this wisdom lies the answer...control can only be given if one has the power to give it. 

Ordering the sub to follow orders that conflict with areas in which the sub has no authority or control to give is a sure path to unhealthy frustration.  Submission is about the granting of control over oneself...and control that doesn't exist cannot be granted, regardless of what that constraint may be. That's why communication and understanding on both sides is so important...to determine where that line truly is, as opposed to where the either party might like it to be.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 1:32:40 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whtUwant

i am curious as to how other  slaves ,follow all orders, when your life offline conficts with those orders?,  i am lucky to have a smart and kind Master, but i wonder how others deal.
I'm not a slave, nor do I play one on T.V..  I am a dominant and I've done L.D.R.s wherein I gave orders.  However, none of these relationships were online only.  I saw them every 4-5 months, just as I had with my vanilla girlfriends.  Because of service and college obligations, I learned in my young adult years what was important to the relationship and what wasn't, what helped to keep each relationship together and what didn't.  The L.D.R. I've had with submissives has taught me what mattered within the D/s dynamic I shared with them in terms of yielding of control and those areas not yielded because of outside factors OR distance.

Personally...an online only relationship in which I knew I was never going to see someone would not be one I would enter into with any sort of serious nature about it...I might do it for friendship and the exchange of ideas but not for a D/s dynamic.

(in reply to whtUwant)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/26/2009 1:35:29 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		And here I was thinking you are slave to my charms, I'm crushed CD 

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/27/2009 7:06:40 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

And here I was thinking you are slave to my charms, I'm crushed CD 
NO, no, no...you are slave to MY charms.  Remember the posts in H & P about hypnosis...ahem...
Look into My eyes, zeph......deeeeeeeeeeeeep into My eyes

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/27/2009 7:27:02 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		as my mistress said i cant always be in a position to follow some orders due to my military deployment, but She is kind and understands this and acts accordingly. in turn i give what info i can and follow commands as best i can while apart. i trust fully in my Mistress and love her deeply this deployment will end and O/our poly family will be together again.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/27/2009 7:29:37 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
The first rule about offline club is, we don't talk about offline club.

Second rule, sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

chia* (the pet)


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to whtUwant)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/27/2009 8:26:38 AM   
abuddingdom


Posts: 158
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline 		lol, chia, gotta love offline club. Tell Tyler I said hello, please....... 

LadyPact's reply is about as direct&succinct an answer the op can get to her question.  Common sense, decency, maturity, not thinking they're God almighty or needing to be treated as such, all the things others have said above - a moral&ethical D or M type should have learned the value&importance of these things before  they've evolved to trying to D or M another.

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/27/2009 8:34:12 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

And here I was thinking you are slave to my charms, I'm crushed CD 
NO, no, no...you are slave to MY charms.  Remember the posts in H & P about hypnosis...ahem...
Look into My eyes, zeph......deeeeeeeeeeeeep into My eyes


You know CD I had a feeling I had that bass ackwards. I'm going to try to keep that in mind while I snicker- errr fall under your control.


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: slave following orders verses life offline - 10/27/2009 11:34:31 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		While I don't do "online slavery" I can kind of answer your question, since I don't live with my Master.  In our relationship, he knows that I will do everything within my power to obey.  He knows that taking care of my son and the needs my other loves must also be considered.  He has never given me an order that would conflict with their needs or, when I was working, my job.  Therefore, his orders don't conflict with my other duties.  If I were to forget an order of willfully ignore it, I would be punished (though the willfully ignoring I can't imagine and I doubt forgetting will be happening anytime soon as I was punished, severely but appropriately, for my forgetfulness last time)  Would he absolutely know if I did not do something and he was not present?  I suppose he would not, but I would.  What makes these relationships work is trust, not illusions, so he trusts me to do as I am told and I actually tell him when I screw up.  Even if you live with your Master all the time, there must be some time when he isn't present.  Do you decide to disobey just because he can't see?  If the answer to that is yes then I don't think anything more than role playing is going on.  To submit to the dominant's will requires devotion, not physical presence.

Also, I think if he gave me an order that conflicted with something my Love asked me to do, I would inform him of the conflict and let him either make some change in the direction or speak with my Love regarding the conflict. 

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 19
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