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RE: Battering vs Discipline - 11/1/2009 9:04:01 AM   
leadership527


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Dude... howsabout you post and say what's really going on here. You are forty freaking two years old. It says in your profile you love martial arts so I'm assuming that if she hit you with a bat and survived, then you must've wanted it. So what the hell?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to beowulf1234)
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RE: Battering vs Discipline - 11/1/2009 10:15:53 AM   
LadyNTrainer


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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Dude... howsabout you post and say what's really going on here. You are forty freaking two years old. It says in your profile you love martial arts so I'm assuming that if she hit you with a bat and survived, then you must've wanted it. So what the hell?


Yes, it's very possible the OP is a troll.  But if he's not, that's an insensitive and untrue thing to say.  Physical ability to leave or to fight back and emotional ability to leave or to fight back are two completely different things, as anyone familiar with domestic violence could probably explain.  Add in a financial factor for people who are dependent on their abusers in that way also, and just being physically fit is not going to make it easy to stop or resist an abuser.


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RE: Battering vs Discipline - 11/1/2009 12:26:39 PM   
leadership527


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Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
Yes, it's very possible the OP is a troll.  But if he's not, that's an insensitive and untrue thing to say.  Physical ability to leave or to fight back and emotional ability to leave or to fight back are two completely different things, as anyone familiar with domestic violence could probably explain.  Add in a financial factor for people who are dependent on their abusers in that way also, and just being physically fit is not going to make it easy to stop or resist an abuser.
Well, you can put words in my mouth if you'd like, but they are your words, not mine. Whether or not the line of introspective questioning I was suggesting is "insensitive" is, I suppose, up to the individual. But it sure as hell is NECESSARY cause I don't think the "awwww, poor baby" route is really going to help here.

Fundamentally, I'm not about to go debating whether some other dom's punishment strategy is wise or not -- it's not my place to judge. It is, however, the OP's place to judge and he needs to get to work doing just that.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Battering vs Discipline - 11/1/2009 2:44:38 PM   
LadyNTrainer


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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
Well, you can put words in my mouth if you'd like, but they are your words, not mine. Whether or not the line of introspective questioning I was suggesting is "insensitive" is, I suppose, up to the individual. But it sure as hell is NECESSARY cause I don't think the "awwww, poor baby" route is really going to help here.


Again, I don't know that he's not a troll.  None of this may be happening at all.  But if it is, the absolute last thing on the acceptable list to tell a victim of domestic violence and abuse is that they must have really wanted it.  Would you have said the same thing if the OP were female and his partner male?  If not, why is it any more acceptable with the genders reversed?

Yes, it's a good thing to tell someone that they need to figure out where consensual kink ends and abuse begins.  This is not that way. 

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 11/1/2009 2:45:30 PM >


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RE: Battering vs Discipline - 11/1/2009 7:15:43 PM   
DavanKael


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You already answered your question via your actions, OP.  Clarify your boundaries and maintain them as you move forward. 
Best wishes,
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 11/1/2009 7:16:47 PM >


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It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
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RE: Battering vs Discipline - 11/2/2009 8:14:01 AM   
Andalusite


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Personally, I don't think that gender makes a difference in this situation, if a female submissive were complaining about punishment, I'd ask her if she'd communicated clearly as well. The OP still hasn't returned to clarify, but hopefully he has read the thread and has found something helpful in it.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Battering vs Discipline - 11/2/2009 5:49:24 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: beowulf1234

I need some advise. Please! I am a man that has taken formal instructions and classes on slave training. My former owner had me train with a Master in conjunction with Abany Power Exchange, Tess and the Crucible in DC. After completing courses to her liking I was collared and provided 24\7 service.
She was a sadist and would beat me at whim. I as her slave would take it gladly. I realize I am property and freely relinqueshed myself to her. I would cook, launder, clean the home, food shop, and be a servant at all her social functions at her residence. Sexually and with the Fetishes she enjoyed I would perform them without boundries. I would do whatever and however Mistress desires. We were exclusive so I was trained pamper, pleasure, and please. The problem was the beatings were becoming more severe and more often. She constantly accused me of looking and wanting other women. She came at me with a small bat and hit me in my arms and legs. I dropped to me knees in cow-tow position. Then she stopped. When I got up she bit me on the shoulder and said she left me her mark. I blead for an hour. I decided that this is not Femdom, but abuse. This is why I am here on collarme. Can I have some opinions and advise? I don't mind a beating but Shouldn't be for good reason or training purposes?
Thanks for reading  


let us assume that she thinks you have no limits when it comes to these beatings, in her mind she can do whatever she wants- tell her otherwise. The only things beatings teach is that she is an idiot and needs anger managent classes. If she was "training" why the remarks about you looking at other women? Does she tell herself this so she somehow feels justified in givings these beatings. If I were you I'd dump this wantabee and get yourself a real Domee

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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to beowulf1234)
Profile   Post #: 27
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