RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (Full Version)

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Elipsis -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/26/2009 7:19:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
How do you decide who is "real" and who is "fake" when face to face in person?


Oh man, you went there.

Um... you roll "sense motive"?



littlewonder -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/26/2009 7:25:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elipsis

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
How do you decide who is "real" and who is "fake" when face to face in person?


Oh man, you went there.

Um... you roll "sense motive"?



LOL..shows how much of a gamer I am. I had to look that up to find out what you meant. hehe

Of course I went there. Someone had to. [8D]



antipode -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/26/2009 8:16:46 PM)

quote:

He is SF, and the rank he told me is also true, and his name is also true, the rest I can't say.


I think if you look at the "military" dating online from Afghanistan, there are two Marines, one Army driver (the other one is on leave in Kuwait), and the rest are all SF.



LadyChallene -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/26/2009 8:49:18 PM)

So sorry, this got so much longer then I meant it to be ....
 
I have dated both men and women who were and are over there serving in the military. I was even married to one for a while. Let me tell you every one of the men and women over there, with extremely few exceptions, has use of the public areas that has Internet, e-mail, cams, skype and more. Do not let them fool you. They have the means and ability - but that won't save you from the lazy ones. If you find they are not willing to use these tools without giving a good reason - RED FLAG time, unless you are into being lied to and used without a good reason - run, don’t walk away!
There is the very rare occasion where it would hurt them, their job (MOS) to be on cam or send pictures of them from 'there', but that almost never happens. People at that level, know the options and choose a better way to handle things. And typical though it might be, a profile on CM would be a red flag for their security rating and further rank advancement in the military, unfair - but typical of the military mind as a whole. If someone is telling you they are e-mailing or IMing you from their quarters, 7 out of 10 times, it’s bull. If they get a signal that far from the secure system, then it’s not secure enough to keep out the ‘enemy’ of the day.
Ask a million and one questions, keep a record of the questions and the answers and ask them again after a random period of time. Let that be one way to see if what is being handed to you is real or a bunch of bull. As for distance and length of relationship before being able to meet in person. There is no hard and fast rule. Lots of relationships don't work out for a variety of reasons. Distance is a big one on that list. So is not being willing to wait and build a foundation that is not shaken by distance, but strengthened by it because you will have had the opportunity to get to know each other better, deeper. Maybe, maybe not. Not everyone takes advantage of that option - or even sees that it is an option. Quite a few out there, out here, all around the planet are more than willing, eager in fact, to cut and run if things just don't happen at the snap of a finger. 
  As with everything I do say, this is only my opinion. Not law - just the facts, as I know and have lived them. Use your instincts; there is no better gauge out there. You will either be right and able to move on and choose more wisely the next time – or you will be wrong and learn from your mistakes, like the rest of us have had to do, over and over again.



LadyChallene -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/26/2009 8:57:20 PM)

You can buy a any uniform, any rank, any insignia, any unit patch and ribbons at any surplus house…pretty much every country has one.The US is littered with them. 
Unless you can see him walking around live, then you have only your intuition and gut to tell if it’s true or not.



GoDolphins -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/26/2009 9:03:39 PM)

It's difficult to really explain, but once you've been here very long and dealt with a few of them you can spot the fakes from a mile away.  It's just a gut feeling you have. 



wildangel3825 -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/26/2009 9:16:59 PM)

Did you ever think about having him take a photo with something you told him to write in it or a certain pose? I was seeing someone in the military and he was able to use his own computer and Yahoo messenger. Most military do take cameras with them and if he is writing to you and sending pics he should be able to make one as you have requested.



Lucienne -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 6:46:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

He is SF, and the rank he told me is also true, and his name is also true, the rest I can't say.


I think if you look at the "military" dating online from Afghanistan, there are two Marines, one Army driver (the other one is on leave in Kuwait), and the rest are all SF.



Funny how that happens. In all fairness to the odds of it being true, we do have a shit ton of SF in Afghanistan.



LadyPact -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 8:54:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

He is SF, and the rank he told me is also true, and his name is also true, the rest I can't say.


I think if you look at the "military" dating online from Afghanistan, there are two Marines, one Army driver (the other one is on leave in Kuwait), and the rest are all SF.



And one medic.  LOL.  Though, he's not exactly allowed to 'date'.  [8D]

Speaking of which, we were talking about this thread this morning.  I will freely admit that I am the more cynical and suspicious between us.  I would say that clip is the more likely to take someone for their word and I'm more the prove it to Me type.

Anyway, we were batting around ideas that might help the OP.  One of them was already given.  A specific picture with a particular pose or random item would help to verify.  It could be something as easy as a yogurt from the mess hall.  (How many guys do you know have a picture of themselves holding up a container of yogurt?)

Another possibility would be to have him tell you what munch groups he was involved with prior to deployment.  A lot of people use their scene names at groups and clubs anyway.  If he was active in the scene before he left, people will remember him.

Ask if you can talk with members of his family and/or friends back home.  If he's serious about you, they will want to get to know you anyway.  You don't have to disclose the kink.  Just that you are the new person in his life.

If he can't manage at least one of these, I'd say you were being taken for a ride.





SubmissiveOinker -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 9:18:11 AM)

It can take time to get to know someone, that is one reason I prefer to message them for quite a bit and see how they answer questions and react to my thoughts before moving to the phone or meeting in real time. There is always a chance that someone could be a fake, yet there is always a chance they could be real. Those who have suggested owning a cam or mic are correct, they make things easier, yet it still doesn't make you determine if the person is lying to you. It just shows you that they look as they described themselves to look. Time will often let the truth be revealed as you begin to trust one another



Lucienne -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 9:36:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

He is SF, and the rank he told me is also true, and his name is also true, the rest I can't say.


I think if you look at the "military" dating online from Afghanistan, there are two Marines, one Army driver (the other one is on leave in Kuwait), and the rest are all SF.



And one medic.  LOL.  Though, he's not exactly allowed to 'date'.  [8D]

Speaking of which, we were talking about this thread this morning.  I will freely admit that I am the more cynical and suspicious between us.  I would say that clip is the more likely to take someone for their word and I'm more the prove it to Me type.

Anyway, we were batting around ideas that might help the OP.  One of them was already given.  A specific picture with a particular pose or random item would help to verify.  It could be something as easy as a yogurt from the mess hall.  (How many guys do you know have a picture of themselves holding up a container of yogurt?)

Another possibility would be to have him tell you what munch groups he was involved with prior to deployment.  A lot of people use their scene names at groups and clubs anyway.  If he was active in the scene before he left, people will remember him.

Ask if you can talk with members of his family and/or friends back home.  If he's serious about you, they will want to get to know you anyway.  You don't have to disclose the kink.  Just that you are the new person in his life.

If he can't manage at least one of these, I'd say you were being taken for a ride.





I thought about this too, and realized that all could be faked with cooperation. But I'll throw in my suggestion anyway. Have him take a picture of himself displaying an SF tattoo and holding a sign that says "kill hadji" with the current date on it.



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 9:45:37 AM)

Even if he's really a soldier in Afghanistan, really is that rank, etc. he could very easily be married or otherwise involved. How long has he been in? Is he Officer, or Enlisted?

Not sure of the stats for Officers, but if memory serves: the average for Army Enlisted Soldiers is that of those who were single upon enlistment, the majority are married within six years.


(Edited for caps and clarification)



HerLord -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 10:37:37 AM)

Well, I read all the posts, to this point. Some of them mocking, some with sincere advice, NOT ONE of them worth a damn.

Know why, I'll tell you, cause you asked a question that NO ONE can answer FOR you. ONLY you can determine; what you want, what is expected, and what someone ELSE is doing or going to do for you.

What you need, is a clue. What that clue will turn out to be, only you will find. Or, not. If you do, you may find this is the dream you dreamed as your daddy's little princess, or maybe that this was just another colossal clusterfuck in your already depressing life. (please note her, i make no presumption of your particular misery, just a format reply to a format question. If you had searched this topic prior to posting, I am positive every answer in this thread has been on at least 50 other threads.)

So here is my good luck to ya in a very distressing time in your life. May you you hunting be fruitfull, and your suffering enjoyable.

Peace

Edited cause I can't type on my new keyboard, and I forget words in this state.



Lucienne -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 10:38:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Even if he's really a soldier in Afghanistan, really is that rank, etc. he could very easily be married or otherwise involved. How long has he been in? Is he Officer, or Enlisted?

Not sure of the stats for Officers, but if memory serves: the average for Army Enlisted Soldiers is that of those who were single upon enlistment, the majority are married within six years.


(Edited for caps and clarification)


I don't think you can be an officer in SF, can you? I thought if you wanted to be an officer you had to switch back over to regular army.



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 10:44:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Even if he's really a soldier in Afghanistan, really is that rank, etc. he could very easily be married or otherwise involved. How long has he been in? Is he Officer, or Enlisted?

Not sure of the stats for Officers, but if memory serves: the average for Army Enlisted Soldiers is that of those who were single upon enlistment, the majority are married within six years.


(Edited for caps and clarification)


I don't think you can be an officer in SF, can you? I thought if you wanted to be an officer you had to switch back over to regular army.




I wasn't clear on whether he was SF. But yes, there are SF Officers.

http://www.goarmy.com/JobDetail.do?id=310



LadyPact -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 11:33:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

He is SF, and the rank he told me is also true, and his name is also true, the rest I can't say.


I think if you look at the "military" dating online from Afghanistan, there are two Marines, one Army driver (the other one is on leave in Kuwait), and the rest are all SF.



And one medic.  LOL.  Though, he's not exactly allowed to 'date'.  [8D]

Speaking of which, we were talking about this thread this morning.  I will freely admit that I am the more cynical and suspicious between us.  I would say that clip is the more likely to take someone for their word and I'm more the prove it to Me type.

Anyway, we were batting around ideas that might help the OP.  One of them was already given.  A specific picture with a particular pose or random item would help to verify.  It could be something as easy as a yogurt from the mess hall.  (How many guys do you know have a picture of themselves holding up a container of yogurt?)

Another possibility would be to have him tell you what munch groups he was involved with prior to deployment.  A lot of people use their scene names at groups and clubs anyway.  If he was active in the scene before he left, people will remember him.

Ask if you can talk with members of his family and/or friends back home.  If he's serious about you, they will want to get to know you anyway.  You don't have to disclose the kink.  Just that you are the new person in his life.

If he can't manage at least one of these, I'd say you were being taken for a ride.





I thought about this too, and realized that all could be faked with cooperation. But I'll throw in my suggestion anyway. Have him take a picture of himself displaying an SF tattoo and holding a sign that says "kill hadji" with the current date on it.



Yes, but that person would have to have the co-operation from someone else to begin with.  And, it would have to be with someone, for example, who is within an established BDSM group who has a history *prior* to these two hooking up.

It is not uncommon whatsoever for folks outside of a particular BDSM community to answer questions on references.  I can't tell you how many times I did this while I was on the board in My last community.



Lucienne -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 11:38:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Yes, but that person would have to have the co-operation from someone else to begin with.  And, it would have to be with someone, for example, who is within an established BDSM group who has a history *prior* to these two hooking up.

It is not uncommon whatsoever for folks outside of a particular BDSM community to answer questions on references.  I can't tell you how many times I did this while I was on the board in My last community.



I meant all the ideas I came up with, didn't mean to suggest I was criticizing yours.



LadyPact -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 11:43:26 AM)

I wasn't taking it that way.  This comes up a lot for those of us who are in military communities.  



supportourtroops -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 3:05:40 PM)

Your incorrect there are SF Officiers. As for mine the pictures arent fake. I have several in active ACU's in the desert with other Soldiers in his unit. Name, rank, unit, clearly seen on uniform. A group of soldiers dont get together and wear fake uniforms in military airplanes, helicopters, etc. I also have 2 of his official military dress portrait, again rank clear. In acuatality I dont give a shit what his rank or unit is. I just want to know he the person sending the photos and is not married. The End.
The question is again, how do you know the person who is sending the information and photos is the same person???? How many military have you dated? Has been in your family? How many deployments have you been through? My ex DOM of 5 years was military and went through 2 deployments with him, the reason it wasnt a problem??? I knew him PRIOR to being deployed. This is the first time I've met someone online who wasnt in my city to meet face to face. I have zero experience with it or how to tell if they are real. I was under the impression you could come here and ask others for helpful advice. Crazy F*cking ME.



mnottertail -> RE: Knowing Fake from Real Online (10/27/2009 3:12:48 PM)

based on your attitude, you will have to pay some dear money for any valid information out here.


Ron



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