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Leaving Marks?? - 10/27/2009 11:58:27 PM   
WendyMorning


Posts: 24
Joined: 10/27/2009
Status: offline 		Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks?  I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.
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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 12:01:59 AM   
Wantstocontrolu


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline 		Many I know like to leave marks and intentionally do so as badges of their "Dom-hood"
personally I do not like to damage my toys but keep them to play with the next day.
Some submissives  I know want marks to show how much they can take, That kind of damage is extremely harmfull for a body a few years down the road.


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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 12:05:11 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Seek out more sadistic D-types?

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 2:11:29 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It doesn't matter. It just means you aren't compatible.

But yeah, what wantsto said. If you want to play the next day but you need to wait till she's healed then heavy marks can be an annoyance. You can't play that heavy every day without it taking its toll on the body. Not a problem if you only meet once a week, but a bigger problem if you live together.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 3:07:52 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It doesn't matter. It just means you aren't compatible.



Not necessarily.  Try telling him you love having marks the next day and see if he'll take things to the next level.

Nothing wrong with a little talking.


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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 7:01:25 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks? 

Are these doms you're playing with for the first time?  When I was looking, I had a rule that I would never leave marks the first time I played, in case she had second thoughts and went to the police, or showed her bff or mom, and that person flipped out.  Light bruising on the butt, and lotsa hickies -- those were ok, and a lot of fun to produce!

A guy risks a lot by marking a woman.  Maybe your partners don't trust you yet.


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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 7:15:50 AM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		What you say here is so true:

quote:

A guy risks a lot by marking a woman. Maybe your partners don't trust you yet.


The OP didn't mention what type of relationship this is. If it is something long term, that's one thing but a chance encounter, or a one off thing, that's another.

Having been in this situation myself, I would be extremely cautious of this and would only engage in something like this in LTR.

Aramis

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 8:51:24 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		Self preservation?  I really don't think too many doms are willing to risk bruising a play partner, of they haven't known them for too long, want to risk the marked up sub to have regrets in the cold morning light.



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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 9:25:55 AM   
HerSir


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/1/2009
Status: offline 		To me, marking a woman is like spraying grafitti on fine art. You want a reminder tomorrow? Let me grab my flogger, I'll remind you. 

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 10:25:50 AM   
weaselwelder


Posts: 72
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline 		For me, leaving a mark is a sign that I'm doing something that has consequences for the sub outside the scene. It may only be a slight soreness, but like everyone else here, it's only something that would happen in an LTR. Also, I don't personally get anything from leaving a bruise that I don't get when I'm not leaving a mark, so marking would probably only occur at the sub's request.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 11:00:28 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Master is more sensual then sadistic so he does not mark me. I don't need anything marks on my body to remind me of what we did. He loves my body the way it is and would not want to ruin his enjoyment of it by having it bruised up. I am also fair skinned so i bruise eaily and i don't like bruises on me either. Makes us a good match.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 12:30:15 PM   
MasterSean69


Posts: 24
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline 		As RedMajic1 mentioned, Is this a First time, LTR or just one time play?  These factors make a HUGE difference for me.  One time play I will leave REDNESS and no harsh marks.....  If it is a LTR/OWNERSHIP situation, I don't mind taking her to the maximum limit(s). 

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 1:42:53 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks?  I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.


If that is what you need, then you may need to get into a established relationship until you push it to that level. I am sure there are many out there that would have no problem taking it to that level, but would you want this temporary feeling to be the essense of the relationship?

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 1:59:37 PM   
MasterWolfen


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/4/2005
Status: offline 		you sound like a Leatherbutt

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 3:25:14 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks?  I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.


White pickup truck.

Er, I mean, people always notice what they do not like more than what they do like. There are hundreds of sadists on this website who will mark you up to your heart's content (and perhaps beyond, to their heart's content). But you're noticing the softer doms because it's something you do not like. It irritates and your brain takes notice. Probably something chemical to all of this.

If you're talking about this website, put the words "I want a sadist" in your profile if they are not already there. That won't stop the non-sadists from writing, but it may get you a few more nibbles from the type you want to hear from, when they do keyword searches.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 4:42:23 PM   
ncbabe


Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal


quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks?  I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.


White pickup truck.

Er, I mean, people always notice what they do not like more than what they do like. There are hundreds of sadists on this website who will mark you up to your heart's content (and perhaps beyond, to their heart's content). But you're noticing the softer doms because it's something you do not like. It irritates and your brain takes notice. Probably something chemical to all of this.

If you're talking about this website, put the words "I want a sadist" in your profile if they are not already there. That won't stop the non-sadists from writing, but it may get you a few more nibbles from the type you want to hear from, when they do keyword searches.


Maybe we should just call it 'white pickup truck syndrome'.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/28/2009 4:43:49 PM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline 		Many are simply cautious about leaving marks at least in publicly visible areas of the body (like the back or face) because if the legal possibilities of the "wrong person" saw them and made some assumptions or lord forbid someone turn jaded and make false accusations.

< Message edited by devilishpixie -- 10/28/2009 5:19:24 PM >

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/29/2009 12:47:19 AM   
WendyMorning


Posts: 24
Joined: 10/27/2009
Status: offline 		thank you to all who replyed....I have learned alot...

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/29/2009 12:52:27 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~waves at Wendy~   Oh, and welcome to the boards.  :)

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 10/29/2009 12:54:13 AM >

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 10/29/2009 7:10:57 AM   
PainfullyCurious


Posts: 157
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline 		I'm feel stupider with every post I read on here (...in a good, I'm learning sort of way.)
I've always known that men are visual, so I just assumed if you enjoyed inflicting the pain, you would really enjoy seeing the marks that you left.
From what I'm reading , it sounds more like that's something you wouldn't mind doing for your sub. Am I understanding this correctly?

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Profile   Post #: 20
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