RapierFugue
Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006 From: London, England Status: offline
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ORIGINAL: DemonKia Ya know what? I gotta disagree, RapierFugue . . . . . I'm outraged! quote:
ORIGINAL: DemonKia What I've found to be the numero uno correlate with how a post is received is how it's written. Not it's content, but the way the content is shaped. That's where much of the contentiousness lies . . . . . The OP, for instance, actually has rather dull & uncontroversial opinions about subjects (fat chicks with short hair being less attractive is hardly novel thinking), but his way of presenting his opinions tends to the combative, loaded with passive-aggressive insults, & etc . . . . . I don't think I got properly 'jumped' until I'd posted nearly a hundred posts (look for the 'Radical Honesty' or 'Honestly? I'm Perfect' threads I started in General), & it had to do with the content of my posting rather than how I write. I like to think that's cuz I'm pretty careful about how I communicate . . . . & I tend to think that those with looser, sloppier communication styles get less consistent results than they might ostensibly prefer . . .. . Significantly important, too, to one's receptions is some attempt at being polite & respectful. I see newbie threads 'round here all the time where that is what happens, they're reasonably well-behaved & they get lots of good info in reply, plenty of it reasonably 'nice' . .. .. . There's also that the snark of one, or a few, doesn't taint the whole place for me, but clearly that is how plenty perceive their experience. The nearly endless number of threads where the OP gets obsessed with the few 'negative' posts to a thread & essentially ignores the majority that are neutral or supportive . . .. & frequently concludes that this place sucks because of those few people . . . . . There's also that disagreement tends to generate more responses than agreement . . . . . For those who need attention & more stimulation, that lack of response can be the goad to be trollish. Trolling gets attention. Look at the OP, apparently he thrives on the combat. Negative attention is better than no attention for all too many people . . . & that's above & beyond the silliness embedded in the notion that it is some kind of 'absolute social good' to always (or even frequently) strive to be inoffensive. Since offense is as much in the taking as in the giving, it's more than a little futile to run around worrying about all the unintentional offense people are gonna take . . . . Very well put, if you don't mind me saying. I'm trying to separate the idiot OP from the (IMHO of course) fairly reasonable point that, on CM, as a newbie, you either (to a large extent) conform, or you're in for a rough ride. quote:
ORIGINAL: DemonKia &, as I've pointed out repeatedly in this thread, FetLife is way way way more conciliatory . . . .. . & since the moderating is delegated out to the user base, it's way more flexible. Clearly, CM's message boards are a rather rarefied taste . . .. . . That's one way of putting it. The main reason I don't bother posting much around here anymore is the heavy-handed and (again IMHO) inconsistent moderating that goes on, especially if one's SoH tends towards the dry. I might have a look at FetLife if it's any better, although TBH I'm not sure I can be arsed most of the time. quote:
ORIGINAL: DemonKia Lastly, & far from leastly, this is a place where sadists & masochists gather. Out, organized, self-identified sadists, masochists, & those who like to play with power & control. I'm more & more amused at the notion that we're all supposed to behave like Sunday school 'round here, given that (to me very important) context . . . . . That's not the first time I've seen that written by someone, and it's the only bit of your post I disagree with 100% - everyone, regardless of sexualality, gender or socio-sexual role (authoritarian or not, ie D or s) should be able to hold a reasoned and reasonable debate without recourse to unpleasantries. In my case I have to put my hand up and say I used to be fine when dealt with fairly, but tended to go for the jugular when someone had a pop. These days I don't really GAF on many subjects, none of which are likely to come up in convos here. Above all, a mature, reasoned and reasonable debate is, IMHO, a must. And anyone who says different is a poopy-pants.
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