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[Poll]

Being new gives regulars the right to be snide..agree or disagree


agree
  37% (18)
Disagree
  62% (30)


Total Votes : 48
(last vote on : 5/1/2010 9:46:01 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 6:46:14 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Black Lion,
When a new person - or a seasoned one - puts up inflammatory, insenstitive, ignorant posts / threads, they will be called on the carpet by the folks here.  It is true that many of us do not suffer fools well.  Your posts have time and again been berating and mean spirited.  You choose to be that way, fine.  It's a shame becuase you are obviously smart and have something of a sense of humor.  If you are foolish enough to think that using those tools to forward your agenda of nastiness, childish name calling, and mean spirited attempts at shaming others will be accepted and that we will kiss your ass and thank you for your wisdom, then you are sorely mistaken.

I am one of the "clique" I suppose.  I have met a number of people here.  However, new folks (Kia  and NZ come to mind) are welcomed when they have intelligent, interesting, worthwhile and humorous things to say.  On many occasions, I've disagreed wholeheartedly with other regular posters.  By having a cogent argument or anecdotal information (as opposed to just flagrant taunting), we have learned and grown from each other.  While I often am the voice of disension, I am still welcomed with open arms... because of the manner in which I conduct myself.

Sure, we act silly and will flame people... when they deserve it.  I have been called on the carpet myself a number of times for being down right bitchy with people.  I take the criticism, look at it if it is worthy criticism, consider the words (and the person saying the words), and make my own decision.  Frankly, if there is a serious problem, the mods will handle it.  I have received a gold framed note or two.  Most of us have.

Finally, just a little reminder for you.  One earns respect.  You have not earned it.  If you want respect, act like a man rather than a petulant little boy.

Good luck in your search,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 10/29/2009 6:50:47 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 6:57:41 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

If someone comes on here.. posts an inane question (that can almost always be answered by doing a search..or god forbid!! a google search).. and gets their wittle feewings hurt, then they need to get a thicker skin.  Life aint cheesecake and wine...  deal or hide from the fact that not everything is unicorns and rainbows.  Personally, I prefer people that understand that life is REAL.




While not actually disagreeing with what you've written (as if!), I have observed a rather sheep-like/hive-mind/clique at work in respect of certain individuals on CM. This is hardly surprising, given that most people are fairly sheep-like IRL, therefore there's no particular reason why they should be any different online.

That said, posting an inflamatory "question" or "poll" isn't the way to counter such thinking, and the OP clearly has issues in this regard.

But hey ho, it's all grist to the mill that is the study of online cliques - the net's full of them. Sometimes I find myself "with" a certain group, sometimes against, but the key factor is to not actually give a fuck in the first place. That way lies madness

There; a balanced reply, in that both sides will doubtless be royally pissed off. Go me


Hey RF!!  How've you been?

I disagree with the sheep thing...  for the most part (here, anyway) the 'cliques' that people rail against are made up of folks that have gotten to know each other (and in many cases, that includes face to face stuff as well as through the boards).  So it's not surprising that these groups are made up of people who share many views and such.


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(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 6:59:28 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

Yes, I do, and I find it's because the ops are posting idiotic things, and making wild and un founded statements or something, or have just proven themselves to be complete and udder assholes.


LOL! So we lump everyone into the same bucket regardless of the question? Actually I have seen some pretty good questions come out of some new people. A lot of them are truly reflective of their situation.

Just my .02

Aramis


Bet you haven;t seen any good questions come out of the op of this thread though. Lets see, he showed up and said all us older, fatter type females should disappear. He announced no women should ever have their hair cut and that no men ever like short hair.
He kept saying he wanted to have a poll to find things out but never used the poll button so that the statistics would be available. Since the rest of us weren't going to tabulate answers for him he then made up statistics. After about ten people said no to long hair, he announced only two guys didn't like it and all the other answers didnt count.

The newbies who ask good questions, who listen to what people say and don't come in looking for someone to validate what they want to do become regulars. The ones who flame anyone who doesn't give them the answer they were looking for do get shot down. Hell, if you want to dump the guy that badly, just do so, don't drag the rest of us into it by feeding us misleading information.

Those kinds of people aren;'t ones I would want as a friend in r/l. Why would I want one online either? I don't like that passive aggressive nonsense and I don't like pure aggressive types either who come out with both barrels blazing when nobody ever said anything to them to begin with. And the op is one of the latter types. Go read his post history and see. He tells everyone else what to do and takes no responsibility for himself.

_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 7:01:39 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blacklion

Do you find the same regulars popping up despite your topic choice to offer snide remarks and off  topic jabs while patting one another on the rump roast.


I am not going to read through all whatever, 5 or 6, pages before posting but........

Here's the deal. If I view someone as a moron, I don't care if they are on their 1st post or their 20,000th post, I am going to call them a moron.........in whatever fashion I can slide past Madame Eleven and company.

You see, I am a harsh judge of character, I realize this. Unfortunately, for those I've judged, very very few have proven my judgment to be incorrect. I am not saying I am right, cool, or a wonderful human being for being the way I am. I am simply saying I am, and that I am the one that has to look at myself in the mirror in the morning AND I am the one that has to suffer any negative consequences for being the way I am. So far, I haven't found any. My ability to accuratel, and quickly, determine a person's character has stood me, and those I've worked for, in good stead. I am completely comfortable with who and what I am.

See, I find not only the topic of this thread, but also the way the questions were asked rather ridiculous and poorly written. The whole question was a bit of an oxymoron. Especially combined with the yes or no choice. Perhaps I didn't have enough caffeine or perhaps I forgot my vitamins this morning, but I was trying to figure out what you were really asking. Then I remembered the dual donkey photo and ran with my memory of previous posts.

I am holding back. I am not expressing my point of view NEARLY as effectively or colourfully as I would in person. You see, in person, I do not suffer morons lightly. Here, I am much MUCH more restrained because these forums are highly moderated.

So for ALL thin skinned morons, new members or old, they have a choice regarding my posts. Ignore them, or go crying to Madame Eleven. Trust me, I will know if they've violated her sensibilities.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/29/2009 7:02:06 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to blacklion)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 7:24:03 AM   
HotFaerieMama


Posts: 2617
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		is it just me or does the OP like to talk just to hear himself ? 

_____________________________

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dirty girl


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 7:34:57 AM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		So, what is the correct answer to the poll?

Agree - yes?
Agree - no?
Disagree - yes?
Disagree - no?

I'm confused.  Is it over yet?

And about the hair poll.... I love long hair on women AND men, providing that it's clean, combed or brushed, and pleasing to the touch.  If it's dirty, tangled, and fugly... then dammit... cut it off.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 7:37:16 AM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure
.  Is it over yet?

And about the hair poll.... I love long hair on women AND men, providing that it's clean, combed or brushed, and pleasing to the touch.  If it's dirty, tangled, and fugly... then dammit... cut it off.



Damn you mean I missed one of his threads? lol

(in reply to purepleasure)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 7:39:48 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		That may be a good thing pixie  LOLOLOL

_____________________________

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to devilishpixie)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 7:48:10 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

If someone comes on here.. posts an inane question (that can almost always be answered by doing a search..or god forbid!! a google search).. and gets their wittle feewings hurt, then they need to get a thicker skin. Life aint cheesecake and wine... deal or hide from the fact that not everything is unicorns and rainbows. Personally, I prefer people that understand that life is REAL.




While not actually disagreeing with what you've written (as if!), I have observed a rather sheep-like/hive-mind/clique at work in respect of certain individuals on CM. This is hardly surprising, given that most people are fairly sheep-like IRL, therefore there's no particular reason why they should be any different online.

That said, posting an inflamatory "question" or "poll" isn't the way to counter such thinking, and the OP clearly has issues in this regard.

But hey ho, it's all grist to the mill that is the study of online cliques - the net's full of them. Sometimes I find myself "with" a certain group, sometimes against, but the key factor is to not actually give a fuck in the first place. That way lies madness

There; a balanced reply, in that both sides will doubtless be royally pissed off. Go me


Hey RF!! How've you been?



Reasonably spiffy, thank you for asking

How's you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I disagree with the sheep thing... for the most part (here, anyway) the 'cliques' that people rail against are made up of folks that have gotten to know each other (and in many cases, that includes face to face stuff as well as through the boards). So it's not surprising that these groups are made up of people who share many views and such.



Maybe so. But the feeding frenzy/backslapping orgy that followed the (admittedly idiotic) OP's post is painful to watch. I actually cringed.

A bit

I'm not saying the OP didn't richly deserve the opprobrium, just that I've seen enough occasions (in the case of other newbies) where someone will make some smartarsed, smug or unfunny comment to a newbie, and will then be deluged by a load of confirmatory posts from the rest of the flock. Just my 2d worth, of course, and as I said I don't expect anyone to agree with me.

Please note I'm not defending this OP (coz he's clearly nutty as a fruitcake), just pointing out an observation based on watching several other newbie posters and their reception, over time. Though who merely ape the opinions of the majority are welcomed, those who offer contrary opinions, even when politely and reasonably worded, are often/sometimes not.

And no, I don't consider I've ever suffered - I'm way too thick-skinned to GAF

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 7:54:59 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		When I have an opinion on something, I voice it. If someone gets offended in some way that is just too bad, time to put on the big boy/girl panties and deal with it. Life is full of things we find offensive or do not agree with you either learn to deal with it, ignore it or feel "offended or picked on" all the time. Personally I ignore the dumb shit.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to blacklion)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 9:08:00 AM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Ya know what? I gotta disagree, RapierFugue . . . . .

What I've found to be the numero uno correlate with how a post is received is how it's written. Not it's content, but the way the content is shaped. That's where much of the contentiousness lies . . . . .

The OP, for instance, actually has rather dull & uncontroversial opinions about subjects (fat chicks with short hair being less attractive is hardly novel thinking), but his way of presenting his opinions tends to the combative, loaded with passive-aggressive insults, & etc . . . . .

I don't think I got properly 'jumped' until I'd posted nearly a hundred posts (look for the 'Radical Honesty' or 'Honestly? I'm Perfect' threads I started in General), & it had to do with the content of my posting rather than how I write. I like to think that's cuz I'm pretty careful about how I communicate . . . .

& I tend to think that those with looser, sloppier communication styles get less consistent results than they might ostensibly prefer . . .. .

Significantly important, too, to one's receptions is some attempt at being polite & respectful. I see newbie threads 'round here all the time where that is what happens, they're reasonably well-behaved & they get lots of good info in reply, plenty of it reasonably 'nice' . .. .. .

There's also that the snark of one, or a few, doesn't taint the whole place for me, but clearly that is how plenty perceive their experience. The nearly endless number of threads where the OP gets obsessed with the few 'negative' posts to a thread & essentially ignores the majority that are neutral or supportive . . .. & frequently concludes that this place sucks because of those few people . . . . .

There's also that disagreement tends to generate more responses than agreement . . . . . For those who need attention & more stimulation, that lack of response can be the goad to be trollish. Trolling gets attention. Look at the OP, apparently he thrives on the combat. Negative attention is better than no attention for all too many people . . .

& that's above & beyond the silliness embedded in the notion that it is some kind of 'absolute social good' to always (or even frequently) strive to be inoffensive. Since offense is as much in the taking as in the giving, it's more than a little futile to run around worrying about all the unintentional offense people are gonna take . . . .

&, as I've pointed out repeatedly in this thread, FetLife is way way way more conciliatory . . . .. . & since the moderating is delegated out to the user base, it's way more flexible. Clearly, CM's message boards are a rather rarefied taste . . .. . .

Lastly, & far from leastly, this is a place where sadists & masochists gather. Out, organized, self-identified sadists, masochists, & those who like to play with power & control. I'm more & more amused at the notion that we're all supposed to behave like Sunday school 'round here, given that (to me very important) context . . . . .

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 9:19:51 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

in your avatar,
I'm having a hard time deciphering the true ass.
it's the red dude with the big M.....

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Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 9:38:04 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

Ya know what? I gotta disagree, RapierFugue . . . . .



I'm outraged!

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

What I've found to be the numero uno correlate with how a post is received is how it's written. Not it's content, but the way the content is shaped. That's where much of the contentiousness lies . . . . .

The OP, for instance, actually has rather dull & uncontroversial opinions about subjects (fat chicks with short hair being less attractive is hardly novel thinking), but his way of presenting his opinions tends to the combative, loaded with passive-aggressive insults, & etc . . . . .

I don't think I got properly 'jumped' until I'd posted nearly a hundred posts (look for the 'Radical Honesty' or 'Honestly? I'm Perfect' threads I started in General), & it had to do with the content of my posting rather than how I write. I like to think that's cuz I'm pretty careful about how I communicate . . . .

& I tend to think that those with looser, sloppier communication styles get less consistent results than they might ostensibly prefer . . .. .

Significantly important, too, to one's receptions is some attempt at being polite & respectful. I see newbie threads 'round here all the time where that is what happens, they're reasonably well-behaved & they get lots of good info in reply, plenty of it reasonably 'nice' . .. .. .

There's also that the snark of one, or a few, doesn't taint the whole place for me, but clearly that is how plenty perceive their experience. The nearly endless number of threads where the OP gets obsessed with the few 'negative' posts to a thread & essentially ignores the majority that are neutral or supportive . . .. & frequently concludes that this place sucks because of those few people . . . . .

There's also that disagreement tends to generate more responses than agreement . . . . . For those who need attention & more stimulation, that lack of response can be the goad to be trollish. Trolling gets attention. Look at the OP, apparently he thrives on the combat. Negative attention is better than no attention for all too many people . . .

& that's above & beyond the silliness embedded in the notion that it is some kind of 'absolute social good' to always (or even frequently) strive to be inoffensive. Since offense is as much in the taking as in the giving, it's more than a little futile to run around worrying about all the unintentional offense people are gonna take . . . .



Very well put, if you don't mind me saying.

I'm trying to separate the idiot OP from the (IMHO of course) fairly reasonable point that, on CM, as a newbie, you either (to a large extent) conform, or you're in for a rough ride.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

&, as I've pointed out repeatedly in this thread, FetLife is way way way more conciliatory . . . .. . & since the moderating is delegated out to the user base, it's way more flexible. Clearly, CM's message boards are a rather rarefied taste . . .. . .



That's one way of putting it. The main reason I don't bother posting much around here anymore is the heavy-handed and (again IMHO) inconsistent moderating that goes on, especially if one's SoH tends towards the dry. I might have a look at FetLife if it's any better, although TBH I'm not sure I can be arsed most of the time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

Lastly, & far from leastly, this is a place where sadists & masochists gather. Out, organized, self-identified sadists, masochists, & those who like to play with power & control. I'm more & more amused at the notion that we're all supposed to behave like Sunday school 'round here, given that (to me very important) context . . . . .



That's not the first time I've seen that written by someone, and it's the only bit of your post I disagree with 100% - everyone, regardless of sexualality, gender or socio-sexual role (authoritarian or not, ie D or s) should be able to hold a reasoned and reasonable debate without recourse to unpleasantries. In my case I have to put my hand up and say I used to be fine when dealt with fairly, but tended to go for the jugular when someone had a pop. These days I don't really GAF on many subjects, none of which are likely to come up in convos here.

Above all, a mature, reasoned and reasonable debate is, IMHO, a must.

And anyone who says different is a poopy-pants.

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 9:51:46 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

Above all, a mature, reasoned and reasonable debate is, IMHO, a must.

And anyone who says different is a poopy-pants.

you owe me a new keyboard

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Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 9:55:43 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

Above all, a mature, reasoned and reasonable debate is, IMHO, a must.

And anyone who says different is a poopy-pants.

you owe me a new keyboard


In a surreal, "life imitating tat" moment, no sooner had I read your reply than one of the little legs on my keyboard [1] that angles it snapped off, so I actually owe *me* a new keyboard. Rats.

[1] I really have had it with Logitech keyboards - they never seem to last me longer than a year, which considering the money I spend on them is outrageous [2]
[2] I mean they cost quite a bit, not that I take them out to dinner and buy them flowers, etc

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 9:57:22 AM   
blacklion


Posts: 194
Joined: 12/7/2007
Status: offline 		[/quote]

my personal view of online mentors and protectors is that often times they seem to be favoured by un-knowledgeable alleged d-type people with a white knight fetish for rescuing damsels in distress or s types who shouldn't be here if they do not have the skills to read their own mail and make decisions about the safety or suitability of others. 

[/quote]

I agree

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 9:57:54 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I mean they cost quite a bit, not that I take them out to dinner and buy them flowers, etc

wa? You just leave the money under the mousepad?

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MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
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(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 10:01:52 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I mean they cost quite a bit, not that I take them out to dinner and buy them flowers, etc

wa? You just leave the money under the mousepad?


Everyone pays for computing. All that changes are the methods.

Don't judge me!

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 10:09:13 AM   
blacklion


Posts: 194
Joined: 12/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: devilishpixie

My posse? lol Who exactly is my posse in your opinion?
I don't walk because I dont want to I rather enjoy these forums if you dont like my posts or anyone elses for that matter feel free to make the block feature your friend. That would be some sound adivice for those you "speak for as well".


ooooo you have a posse, pixie? I wanna posse, or better yet can I join yours? I promise I play well with others.

OP it's high time you get over yourself. Really you just aren't that important.


Then why are you taking out precious time from your superior life to address unimportant me?

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide... - 10/29/2009 10:11:30 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		pixie posse , pussy posse? what are we talking about here?

Ron

_____________________________

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(in reply to blacklion)
Profile   Post #: 120
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