Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (Full Version)

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hermione83 -> Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/28/2009 11:20:02 PM)

expresses interest, asks you out, .. asks you why you haven't written her today, etc. etc... ? I just wondered, because, I hate pursuing a guy and seems unnatural to me, and I'm terrififed it'd be very unbecomming to a Dom, but all the ones I like, for some reason freaking ignore me, and the other 99% won't go away, and it drives me crazy.



devilishpixie -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/28/2009 11:44:38 PM)

I started to write my owner several times but hesitated and stopped myself several times. I perved his profile ALOT. Eventually he contacted me and honestly I think I was silly for my hesitation and am really glad he eventally contacted me. Sometimes you need to step up or you risk missing out on the possibility of something very special.



NormalOutside -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/28/2009 11:47:56 PM)

Hell no. I love it when a girl sends me a message, even if it's just to say hello or make a random comment about my profile. If she's interested, even better.

I think more submissives should do the searching.

EDIT: I have to say OP, your profile is pretty funny. A Christian virgin slave who "lives for" anal sex. Man I love this site.



HatesParisHilton -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 4:31:47 AM)

I think it shows SASSINESS !  by my troth it's a fine idea!  [:D]



SilverMark -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 4:35:32 AM)

I find it highly complimentry....



hermione83 -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 5:55:22 AM)

Coolness. :)

NO: It says Anal play, not anal *sex*!!



thishereboi -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 6:02:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Coolness. :)

NO: It says Anal play, not anal *sex*!!


What is the difference?



DarkSteven -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 6:04:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

expresses interest, asks you out,



I love it when I get contacted like that.

quote:



.. asks you why you haven't written her today, etc. etc... ?



I hate it when I get a message like that.  I'd much rather hear something like "I missed hearing from you today" than "Why didn't you call me today?".  The second makes me feel like I'm contacting her because it's her rule that I do so, not like I want to.



scifi1133 -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 6:23:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverMark

I find it highly complimentry....
Thank you Mark that was the word I was looking for. I agree with Mark.



hermione83 -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 6:42:40 AM)

That's a good point, DarkSteven. Though it's really annoying when you find someone you like, and they act very serious towards you *when* they talk to you, but they talk/see/IM/call you like, at random, and once a week or something and you have no idea if they're ever going to talk to you again. It makes a girl want to start to do things /she wouldn't normally do out of a bit of desperation. :P



LaTigresse -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 6:47:28 AM)

No I love it when a woman shows the initiative to keep in contact with me.

I know that submissive women get A LOT of interest. If they are contacting me, I know they are interested in me. I have been so crazy busy right now that I lose track what day of the week it is, who I have replied to, who I need to reply to, just everything.......I love that someone wants my attention enough they continue to reply even when I've spaced off writing/calling/whatever, them.

No, if only one of them were HERE, helping me with some of this chaos!



sunshinemiss -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 6:54:12 AM)

Hello Hermione,
After being on this site for *eep* two years or so, I still find it a little intimidating to write the M-types - men women, whatever!  I always think... "bah, why in the world would they care what I have to say."  However, every person I've c-mailed from the boards (and through other friends), has been absolutely gracious in their responses.  Never once has someone said - get away from me slut! 

Sometimes it is our own fears getting in our way. 

*psst... they're just people.  Who knew?



DesFIP -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 7:07:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

That's a good point, DarkSteven. Though it's really annoying when you find someone you like, and they act very serious towards you *when* they talk to you, but they talk/see/IM/call you like, at random, and once a week or something and you have no idea if they're ever going to talk to you again. It makes a girl want to start to do things /she wouldn't normally do out of a bit of desperation. :P


About all you can do is be honest. "I would like to get to know you better. I thought I had communicated this in the past. However you don't seem interested in talking to me regularly or progressing in our friendship. Am I mistaken?"

Then if they still don't contact you, you know that no matter what they say, they are just timewasters. If they jump on the chance to get to meet you, they are interested.

I can't imagine Steven, for example,  refusing to talk for a week or two to a woman he thought he was compatible with and thinking that's the way to form a relationship. That's like shooting yourself in the foot.



LaTigresse -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 7:08:11 AM)

Noo, Sunshine........I'd say something more like "Get your ass to the farm, slut!"



MadameMarque -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 7:18:47 AM)

Do I mind if the submissive or slave writes me first?  I prefer it.  I mind that many of them, though they say they are interested in serving me, being my property, doing anything and everything for me, etc., can't be bothered to read and observe the simplest requests, when they write for the first time.  It makes me abandon hope.
 
But hermione, you mustn't waste your life with someone who's ignoring you.  I don't know what you mean by "ignored," so I guess it's possible you're needing an obsessive degree of attention. 
There's no use asking someone why they didn't call you.  Did he promise to call you, that day, and didn't?  If so, he should be the one to bring it up.  Were you at some stage of the relationship where you would expect to be in contact every day?
 
But generally, if the other person's not paying you enough time and attention, especially early on, then they 'just aren't that into you,' and you deserve someone who is.
 
 
 
 



hermione83 -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 8:25:11 PM)

Thank you everyone. I think one problem with online relationships is there is a precarious balance.. of moving ahead, not too fast, not too slowly, not too slow so anyone loses interest, not to quickly so they think you're not real.. etc.. and people have much different ideas on how long it should take.. and some want to chat for months before giving a first phone call, and some are ridiculous and propose during a second conversation..



porcelaine -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 8:40:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

expresses interest, asks you out, .. asks you why you haven't written her today, etc. etc... ? I just wondered, because, I hate pursuing a guy and seems unnatural to me, and I'm terrififed it'd be very unbecomming to a Dom, but all the ones I like, for some reason freaking ignore me, and the other 99% won't go away, and it drives me crazy.


hermione,

your feelings are understood. i'm typically very restrained during initial correspondence. however, i do show a bit of personality as well. i prefer for the conversation to unfold naturally without sending the prospective person an impromptu cv of myself. that is such a turn off.

porcelaine



shinylight7 -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 8:58:05 PM)

No. I want a person who has courage. Who is normal and not a beaten down doormat. I want one who wants to serve and actually be a submissive... instead of those fakers who pretend to be submissive but are dominant. Respect for one another and trust is key.



BoiJen -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 9:01:01 PM)

I still wanna know what the difference is between anal sex and anal play.

boi



Musicmystery -> RE: Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first... (10/29/2009 9:16:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Do you dislike it if a sub writes you first..
Not at all. This is fine.

quote:

.expresses interest,
Also fine. Flattered at the very least.

quote:

asks you out,
That's never happened, but I don't see a problem.

quote:

.. asks you why you haven't written her today, etc. etc... ?

OK, this would irritate me greatly. Living a busy life here. Patience.



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