Transparency

Transparency (Full Version)

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Level -> Transparency (3/8/2006 4:11:26 AM)
Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?

slavejali -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:27:09 AM)
It's important to me and to Master I would guess that I'm totally open with him. How can he manage me if I'm holding things back from him?

IronBear -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:27:35 AM)
My Wife/Free Companion understands as would any slave I collared, that there will always be parts of my life which are closed to them. The inner workings of the Coven(Clan O'Sliabh) untill Neets is initiated to the highest degrees. The workings of the Lodge can never be disclosed to her or to any who are not adepts. My previous diverse employment from which there are still people I talk to and departments to which I must keep in contact... These things she is aware of and understands that they are not part of our personal relationship

RavenMuse -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:33:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan? Absolutely. Once past a certain level of intimacy, where both people are seriously looking at a long term relationship then she can ask me absolutely anything. I don't hold secrets, not of my own, I have nothing to hide. The only questions I won't answer are those involving things other people have told me in confidence, but anything about myself, I am an open book to any partner. In the long run I find it avoids more 'poop' than it causes.

Cloudz -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:39:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: Level Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan? Absolutely. Once past a certain level of intimacy, where both people are seriously looking at a long term relationship then she can ask me absolutely anything. I don't hold secrets, not of my own, I have nothing to hide. The only questions I won't answer are those involving things other people have told me in confidence, but anything about myself, I am an open book to any partner. In the long run I find it avoids more 'poop' than it causes. Dear Raven, I could not have said it better. There are 'conversations' that I must keep private due to my employ, but they have no effect on a partner. I prefer honesty in all things...life just runs smoother this way.

IronBear -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:47:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cloudz quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: Level Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan? Absolutely. Once past a certain level of intimacy, where both people are seriously looking at a long term relationship then she can ask me absolutely anything. I don't hold secrets, not of my own, I have nothing to hide. The only questions I won't answer are those involving things other people have told me in confidence, but anything about myself, I am an open book to any partner. In the long run I find it avoids more 'poop' than it causes. Dear Raven, I could not have said it better. There are 'conversations' that I must keep private due to my employ, but they have no effect on a partner. I prefer honesty in all things...life just runs smoother this way. Where possible, I do agree and were it not for other aspects opf my live and former life I would go down that path too...... << Whispers: "Ake iyuskinyan wancinyankelo Tsiloni" Smiles quietly>>

Cloudz -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:49:42 AM)
Blows kisses to IB - Yes, of course I am wildly transparent to you m'dear.

RavenMuse -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:49:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cloudz Dear Raven, I could not have said it better. There are 'conversations' that I must keep private due to my employ, but they have no effect on a partner. I prefer honesty in all things...life just runs smoother this way. Very much so. Sure people complain at me for being too open, too bluntly honest... tough. It is far better than the alternative. Hiding things, secrets, lies? All undermine the trust in a relationship and IMO trust is a major cornerstone of any relationship, if it is lost then there is nothing left worth having.

RavenMuse -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:53:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Where possible, I do agree and were it not for other aspects opf my live and former life I would go down that path too...... Thats why I mentioned confidentiality about other peoples business, there are things in my past I can't discuss due to the official secrets act, things about my old coven that I won't discuss because of oaths I took...... but most anything involving just myself. Then if it is important enough for a partner to ask then it is important enough for me to give her as full and open an answer as I am able without breaking confidentiality to others. I think we are probably doing the same thing old friend, just maybe wording it diffrently.

IronBear -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 4:59:19 AM)
That mitakola is entirely possible. but we do think alike don't we.... In the language of my Blood Brother, you are a Itancanka ,wicasa iyotanyapi (Master, a Man of Honour).

BeeQueen -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 5:13:01 AM)
transparency or honesty...what is it u refer too? transparency would bee laying out all motivations of my actions honesty regards answering questions as open as u can/know. for transparency u would first need to know about ur own motivations eg why u do certain things as u do them. selfreflexion is something not many ppl have, and even less are able to talk about selfreflected awarness but honesty and open talks about why or how i do things or expect things is absolutly needed for the lifestyle i live. Bee

Littlepita -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 5:28:55 AM)
Yes it is very, very important to me and required of my Dom that I be totally transparent and honest about everything.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 5:30:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan? How can a relationship really work long term unless everyone is open and up front with what's going on? We all hit bumps sometimes, but you work through them.

MasterBuckeye -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 5:32:19 AM)
I have to say that is is extremely important, especially when taking in a NEW Slave/Sub. Without it, I don't believe there can be a solid foundation of trust in one another. Master Buckeye

RavenMuse -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 5:42:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear That mitakola is entirely possible. but we do think alike don't we.... In the language of my Blood Brother, you are a Itancanka ,wicasa iyotanyapi (Master, a Man of Honour). A high compliment indeed old friend and one I can repay in kind. Your words, attitude and actions that I have observed lead me to draw no other than a high opinion of you also.

MsIncognito -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 6:24:08 AM)
While I do think transparency is important in a relationship I think it has to be a two way street, at least for me. I often get the impression that submissives are expected to be transparent to their Doms yet it's not something that is reciprocated. I know so many submissives who have to keep journals, blogs and report on just about every thought that passes through their head yet only once have I heard of a Dom who regularly kept a journal for his submissive to read as well. I know that many people want and like the imbalance in transparency in a D/s relationship but that's one area where I would need the playing fields to be relatively equal.

IronBear -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 7:03:17 AM)
In a D/s field, I agree with you regarding even playing fields. In an M/s relationship perhaps but dependant of the people.. In a Gorean relationship? Never.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 7:32:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan? i am transparent to him in every way. As for the "poop hitting the fan," As he always says, there may be things i share with him that he doesn't like, but he needs to know them so he can correct what needs correcting. There is nothing about me that he does not know.

SimplyV -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 9:29:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: Level Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan? Absolutely. Once past a certain level of intimacy, where both people are seriously looking at a long term relationship then she can ask me absolutely anything. I don't hold secrets, not of my own, I have nothing to hide. The only questions I won't answer are those involving things other people have told me in confidence, but anything about myself, I am an open book to any partner. In the long run I find it avoids more 'poop' than it causes. Oh how true that is. I also like to live my life that way. Keeping things from people isn't a good way to build trust, unless its a secret you were trusted to keep, then keeping it is the only way to retain that trust. quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie i am transparent to him in every way. As for the "poop hitting the fan," As he always says, there may be things i share with him that he doesn't like, but he needs to know them so he can correct what needs correcting. There is nothing about me that he does not know. Very true. If ya don't know its broke, ya can't fix it.

amayos -> RE: Transparency (3/8/2006 9:56:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan? Transparency does in fact matter a great deal. Judgment and resentment and lack of transparency share a sort of merry-go-round relationship. Lack of transparency leads to resentment, which is by its virtue is a hidden anger. It is resentment that allows you to judge privately and thus build even more reinforcing anger—which can over time become addictive. True transparency is counter to this process, even if it means harsh implications for being so at first.

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