What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave?

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What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/29/2009 11:28:42 PM

sfguy1

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So the sense I get from the profiles is that there are at least two kinds of slaves desired?

1) A slave that does anything for his Mistress/Goddess, but also shares a vanilla kind of relationship -- movies, cuddling, vacations, talking, etc.

2) A slave that is a slave 24/7: maybe chained to the bed or in a cage much of the time and beaten regularly.

I'm thinking that the second kind isn't realistic, that the profiles that suggest that are teasing or playing, maybe thinking that's a turn-on.

What do you think? Are most of the situations of the "Type 1" kind?

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/30/2009 2:21:03 AM

GYPSYMAMBO

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If there are 1400 MIStresses on here then 1400 different kinds of slaves are required..if there are 27 MIstresses on here then there are 27 kinds required...
and as well they(hopefully) come willing to be moulded not a done package.

Mistresses desire a slave to be trained/moulded/ to match/enhance their life...style..personality..needs..wants...situations..etc...

The 2 kinds you peak of are total objecitfication M-s with humiliation etc and slave/partner...just 2 of MANY

its the snowflake thing

GM

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 10/30/2009 2:23:08 AM >

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/30/2009 8:20:24 AM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfguy1

So the sense I get from the profiles is that there are at least two kinds of slaves desired?

1) A slave that does anything for his Mistress/Goddess, but also shares a vanilla kind of relationship -- movies, cuddling, vacations, talking, etc.

To add to what GM has said, first I suggest you understand the difference between a submissive and a slave. Generally speaking, a slave will turn over all control of his life to a Mistress without question and doesn't have any limits, unless they were stated/negotiated at the beginning of the relationship. Slaves usually are considered completely owned property. A submissive on the other hand, will generally retain control over certain parts of his life, has hard and soft limits, safe words, and is more likely to also share a vanilla kind of relationship of the type you speak of. Many submissives also tend to feel owned, but usually not in the same context as a slave. I know one woman who frequently says she views herself as being owned in the same way as though she were a pair of her Master's boots. Whether or not a slave will have the vanilla you speak of, would be a matter of the dynamic that evolves over time as part of the relationship between the two; something which also applies to the relationship between a submissive and his Dominant as well.

Disclaimer: the above are general statements for comparison/reference and are not absolutes. Its really up to each individual to decide for themselves whether they're a submissive or a slave; something only they can discover on their own through introspection. In my experience, each Mistress will also have her own thoughts on what defines a slave and a submissive.

I consider myself to be a submissive who has a certain number of slave tendencies. Since the mid 90's, my on-line name has always been "pixel". The "slave" in pixelslave comes from doing computer graphics and having felt as though I was at times a slave to manipulating the pixels in images when it was necessary to work late into the night to meet a client's deadline. That's its true origin. As such, it wasn't primarily based on my being in the lifestyle; although a hint to that was intentional. However, that "hint" was never meant to be a reference that defined myself as being of slave orientation.

You might search on D/s (Dominant/submissive) vs M/s (Master/slave) relationships to get some idea of the differences that often exist between the two.

quote:

2) A slave that is a slave 24/7: maybe chained to the bed or in a cage much of the time and beaten regularly.

I'm thinking that the second kind isn't realistic, that the profiles that suggest that are teasing or playing, maybe thinking that's a turn-on.

What do you think? Are most of the situations of the "Type 1" kind?

You're right. The latter is essentially a fantasy of many men. Very few women want to have a man chained to a bed or in a cage 24/7. Of what use to them is he in that state? Instead, they'd rather have him doing something useful. They may have him sleep that way or do a scene like that for the weekend, but its certainly not the norm and is the stuff primarily of fiction or "wanking material". If a man wants that, he's likely to get it only on a short term basis as part of a scene from a Lifestyle Domme or will have to pay for it by visiting a Pro Domme; again on a time limited basis. It just doesn't happen that way for most.

As for being beaten regularly, some may include that as part of their dynamic, either for no reason, as punishment, or as part of their play. Again, as GM said, each relationship is different and what happens will depend on what the two parties negotiate between them. What works for one couple may not work for another.

- pixel

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/30/2009 8:52:49 AM

thetammyjo

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In my household a slave is simply a person who has decided that he/she trusts me enough to consider and be considered my personal property, every day without fail unless there is an emergency. What we do and how we do it is a private matter, negotiated long before a slave-owner contract was signed. It has varied from slave to slave but in general, in my household, a slave's purpose is to make my mundane life easier. Anything else is a perk or another duty. Being a slave is very much a job or some might say a calling and it should never be taken on lightly.

Submissives, bottoms, or masochists in my household would be for fun and play and only from time to time. I suppose a lover or partner might also fulfill these roles but so far that isn't how things work in my household.

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/30/2009 8:55:54 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfguy1

So the sense I get from the profiles is that there are at least two kinds of slaves desired?

1) A slave that does anything for his Mistress/Goddess, but also shares a vanilla kind of relationship -- movies, cuddling, vacations, talking, etc.

2) A slave that is a slave 24/7: maybe chained to the bed or in a cage much of the time and beaten regularly.

I'm thinking that the second kind isn't realistic, that the profiles that suggest that are teasing or playing, maybe thinking that's a turn-on.

What do you think? Are most of the situations of the "Type 1" kind?

Please try to look at the situation from some kind of practical standpoint. If someone is chained to the bed or caged 'most' of the time, how is anything getting done? How is that person earning an income, sharing in the household, or doing the fun things?

People tend to get confused between the reality and the fantasy of a M/s type of life. Just because a dynamic is based on one person having authority over another doesn't mean they don't do the same things that other people do. It's not that life is devoid of laughter because a slave is never permitted to say anything funny, or that their leisure time never includes watching a movie together or going for a walk. There's still plenty of hugging, cuddling, kissing, and other signs of affection.

Now, I do happen to prefer a service oriented slave who also is a masochist. The reason for that is because I happen to be a sadist, but not everyone living this kind of life has that particular trait. The 'beating regularly' part is because My boy and I both enjoy it. We are just wired that way that we get what many call an endorphin rush or space from it. For us, it brings us closer together because it adds to the intimacy of our lives.

I know there's a lot of bunk out there about what people think a M/s life is all about. What I'd recommend is that you actually talk to the people who are based in the reality more than the fantasy. The people who actually live this way. You'll still get a lot of different answers because we're all unique individuals, but it's going to be a lot more informative than what it's imagined to be like.

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/30/2009 11:53:04 AM

BoiJen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfguy1
2) A slave that is a slave 24/7: maybe chained to the bed or in a cage much of the time and beaten regularly.

I'm thinking that the second kind isn't realistic, that the profiles that suggest that are teasing or playing, maybe thinking that's a turn-on.

I think you need to redefine the way you read these things. 24/7 isn't all tied up and bound and beaten 24/7...it's in constant service 24/7. Women want to be able to do whatever they want to do when they want to do it. Part of 24/7 isn't actually doing all those things all the time, it's BEING able to do those things ANY time they want to.

Just tipping you off on that little clue.

boi

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/30/2009 12:22:27 PM

SomethingCatchy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: sfguy1
2) A slave that is a slave 24/7: maybe chained to the bed or in a cage much of the time and beaten regularly.

I'm thinking that the second kind isn't realistic, that the profiles that suggest that are teasing or playing, maybe thinking that's a turn-on.

I think you need to redefine the way you read these things. 24/7 isn't all tied up and bound and beaten 24/7...it's in constant service 24/7. Women want to be able to do whatever they want to do when they want to do it. Part of 24/7 isn't actually doing all those things all the time, it's BEING able to do those things ANY time they want to.

Just tipping you off on that little clue.

boi

Agreed! How boring and energy draining and 'all the focus is on the sub' would it be to have them chained or caged 24/7? It's so much better, more fun, more fulfilling to have someone on call any time you want instead of pouring your time and energy into him like he's a new born infant.

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/31/2009 1:59:09 AM

sfguy1

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Thanks for all these responses!

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/31/2009 8:50:15 AM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfguy1

So the sense I get from the profiles is that there are at least two kinds of slaves desired?

1) A slave that does anything for his Mistress/Goddess, but also shares a vanilla kind of relationship -- movies, cuddling, vacations, talking, etc.

2) A slave that is a slave 24/7: maybe chained to the bed or in a cage much of the time and beaten regularly.

I'm thinking that the second kind isn't realistic, that the profiles that suggest that are teasing or playing, maybe thinking that's a turn-on.

What do you think? Are most of the situations of the "Type 1" kind?

In reality, neither of the above is "correct", as both examples describe acts and scenarios, not the base essence. It cannot be fleshed out in terms of objects or actions entirely, as this is a matter of psychology, which is intangible.

With that in mind, I feel it's better to answer the question posed in the thread title: What does it really mean to be a slave? As briefly as possible, slavery means full surrender and commitment to another; that one is wholly controlled by one's Keeper, without expectation of equality, remuneration or even appreciation, wherein the only reward is the act of serving itself. How a slave is treated depends upon the style and personality of his or her Keeper, so painting any particular picture of an expression of this dynamic is really illustrating the symptoms, not the source.

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/31/2009 9:41:54 AM

VampiresLair

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A slave is here to make my life easier. I fail to see how having them bound, chained and locked away gets my housework done, my dishes washed and my carpets vacuumed. Fox is a 24/7 slave in that he is mine all the time and a combination of both your types. I can tie him up when I choose, but he also has school and a job and chores around here. I cant limit him to a single thing slaves are or arent. He is what I want when I want it.

DV

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 10/31/2009 10:52:56 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfguy1

So the sense I get from the profiles is that there are at least two kinds of slaves desired?

1) A slave that does anything for his Mistress/Goddess, but also shares a vanilla kind of relationship -- movies, cuddling, vacations, talking, etc.

2) A slave that is a slave 24/7: maybe chained to the bed or in a cage much of the time and beaten regularly.

What do you think? Are most of the situations of the "Type 1" kind?

sfguy,

i don't believe either scenario presents slavery from the perspective i've come to embrace. the examples provided are compliant actions that could be performed by anyone that was willing to engage in that manner. surrender and obedience go hand in hand and are necessary components of slavery. my desire to acquiesce and serve Him in the fashion He dictates is always the foundation. i live in deference to Him and do so willingly without expectation. my countenance is surrendered and embraces His desires in all ways possible, intentionally usurping my own. the manifestation of my enslavement is wholly determined by Him.

porcelaine

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 11/2/2009 8:07:55 AM

TheMistressKay

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It really depends upon the relationship. I know a couple that, she does her own thing, for the most part, but is required to ask permission for basic things like the bathroom or to do anything else that he has said was "allowed without permission". She also sleeps at a cage at the foot of the bed instead of sleeping in the bed. That's just how some people enjoy it.

Myself? My slave and I are dating along with the M/s aspect. I leave him a list of chores I want done by the time I get home anytime he is to be home by himself. I require him to fetch me anything I ask for without complaint, and when he messes up, he shall be punished accordingly (either by revocation of priviledges or by ceasing of play). He is required to treat me with respect and have an open mind towards any new activity. As a slave, he has no limits and no safe words, either. (Although, on that page, I've known him for two years, so I know when he is at the point of breaking.) He is required to ask permission to use the restroom, and I control all of his finances, so he is required to ask if he may purchase anything. He sleeps in my bed with myself (unless he's been bad. Then he sleeps at the foot of my bed.), but it isn't 24/7 of having him locked up. That would defeat the purpose of having a slave if he couldn't do anything.

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RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? - 11/2/2009 7:41:42 PM

undergroundsea

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I have recently modified my spectrum of dynamics that exist in BDSM relationships based on amount of control surrendered in increasing order:

Top/Bottom
Dominant/Submissive
Master/Slave
Owner/Property.

I agree that it is not the specific acts or scenarios as described in the OP, but the nature of the dynamic and amount of control surrendered that matters. I also agree that different people will define slave differently.

I think these terms are useful to specify the general ballpark of where one thinks to be, and then to use that as a starting point to compare definitions and relationship expectations with each partner. Each pairing defines its own brand of BDSM.

Cheers,

Sea

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