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RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:55:19 AM   
SomethingCatchy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I keep getting that question. My question is, why should it matter? If I don't find you attractive, that has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your physical looks and a personality I don't mesh with.
When a man asks me this question when he's old enough to be my father, I wonder if he's trying to put pressure or expectations on me. "You said you didn't care about age, so why don't you like *ME*?!"

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?



Yeah but cathy, there is that awful "old people smell" they get after they turn 50 LMAO!



I kind of like the mothball smell!


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:58:52 AM   
looking4princess


Posts: 165
Joined: 4/9/2008
Status: offline 		Isn't it a social style we were taught from high school? Sophomore girls swooned (old fashioned word - hee hee) for Senior boys who happily took advantage of their adulation. Do you recall a high incidence of Senior Girls dating Sophomore boys? Ick factor! The really "cool" girls dated older guys from college or post high school townies. The "couger" phenomenon is pretty recent, isn't it?

I have been blessed with two wives and several Mistresses all deliciously younger than me, but mature enough to hold more than their own in any conflict or discussion.

I cannot speak for the gay community but popular media gives the impression there is a very high premium for youth among gays. Perhaps just a stereotype.



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RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 7:59:57 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Yeah but cathy, there is that awful "old people smell" they get after they turn 50 LMAO!




Oi!! Fuck off I'll have you know that is expensive Eaude d'Bruin aftershave you are referring to....

Now if you were thinking about my underdungers with the well calculated skid marks or the arse tearing, paint blistering farts then you do have a point as these things mature and ripen with age..

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/30/2009 8:03:05 AM >

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RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:02:05 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I keep getting that question. My question is, why should it matter? If I don't find you attractive, that has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your physical looks and a personality I don't mesh with.
When a man asks me this question when he's old enough to be my father, I wonder if he's trying to put pressure or expectations on me. "You said you didn't care about age, so why don't you like *ME*?!"

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?



Yeah but cathy, there is that awful "old people smell" they get after they turn 50 LMAO!



I kind of like the mothball smell!


LMAO!....see..... i knew you would understand! as a side....the mothball smell is worse during oral sex.... get it...mothBALLS....ok...i have been up for over 24 hours....i'm not right in the head!...Yes, i am totally going to use lack of sleep as an excuse.


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RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:05:34 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Yeah but cathy, there is that awful "old people smell" they get after they turn 50 LMAO!




Oi!! Fuck off I'll have you know that is expensive Eaude d'Bruin aftershave you are referring to....



Well there are some who quite enjoy the natural scent of a perfectly aged bruin.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:07:51 AM   
looking4princess


Posts: 165
Joined: 4/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I keep getting that question.


Yeah but cathy, there is that awful "old people smell" they get after they turn 50 LMAO!



I kind of like the mothball smell!



Maybe I am misreading the intent of the quoted comments, but they strike me as the ugly cruelty one would expect from shallow youth. Makes a pretty damn good case why age difference matters. Begin storing your perfumes now ladies. You may need it sooner than you think. Immaturity and lack of empathy has its own distinct stink.

Hmmmm, kinda makes you wonder if some people start a thread just to boast of their own self-defined beauty though they omit a photo.

_____________________________

vincent....

Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance? I ask you.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:10:31 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, you are misreading the intent.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:11:43 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		I wouldn't get upset, chances are the quoted posters was being humorous. 

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to looking4princess)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:14:11 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Yes, you are misreading the intent.

Hey be quite!....he DID say "shallow YOUTH" !! LMAO.....i'll take ANY correlation i get with youth LOL


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candy posts in pink font

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:16:24 AM   
SomethingCatchy


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Joined: 7/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I don't understand how you think of that question as pressure. Younger men ask me if I am into younger men and or me it just seems like a question, I feel no pressure from it. Perhaps it is your insecurity?



I said 'I wonder if he's *trying*' Based on actual, personal experience, when an older man asks me this question and later I find out I'm not interested in them, they get whiny and ask questions that sound an awful lot like 'You said you didn't care about age, so why are you rejecting me?'

Nothing to do with my own insecurity, but thanks for trying to knock one on me.


_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:21:41 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		*thinks of old ppls smell n gags*
..but no as long as they dont have it (not all ppl get that old ppl smell) then it's all gooooooooooood and..I'm not up for the 'oi, can ya pass the walker' yet..
but after I discovered how old I'm getting I'm thinking of asking it for xmas


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RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:21:57 AM   
porcelaine


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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?


Catchy,

i have had a myriad of experiences on this issue. i believe it is difficult for some to ascertain if you're open to dating outside of a defined margin. in the past when i noted my preferences the age range was specified. however, the responses were very akin to what you've mentioned. most ignored what was stated and assumed allowances would be made. there were also instances of ambivalence and a desire for me to explain why the parameters existed. on occasion it appeared that there was a preconceived notion (or what i interpreted as such) that things of this nature shouldn't matter. i eventually removed the information because i found it encouraged those outside of the defined range to contact me.

having dated men younger than myself, i find the question never came up. we simply meshed and it was never an issue. compatibility and sharing similar desires was more important. i believe it is important to remain true to ones self. i don't deny exceptions can be made if an individual meets other requirements and the area of compromise isn't one you'd be uncomfortable about in the long run. but i'm unable to support the idea that my preferences should be set aside for another person unless i have a compelling reason within that is separate from their own. i don't have a negative opinion about persons older than myself, but sincerely believe that relationship wise i'm more compatible with those within my age range.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:22:20 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I keep getting that question. My question is, why should it matter? If I don't find you attractive, that has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your physical looks and a personality I don't mesh with.
When a man asks me this question when he's old enough to be my father, I wonder if he's trying to put pressure or expectations on me. "You said you didn't care about age, so why don't you like *ME*?!"

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?




Maybe it's just poorly worded, but from what's written above, they're not asking "the age question". They're specifically accepting your assertion that age doesn't matter, so they're asking what else might be the problem.

In regard to the age issue, it's pretty much a non-issue for me. Yes, it's a little frustrating when someone seems like a virtually perfect fit for you except that they've set an arbitrary age limit that excludes you. I don't set such arbitrary limits, because I recognize that individuals of any given age can be extremely different from each other; there are 50-year-olds that seem more like 30, and vice versa. If I set such an arbitrary limit, I'm excluding some people who might be great matches for me. On the other hand, there aren't many 85-year-olds who appear to be 30, so I'm probably not missing too many good opportunities if I exclude the over 80 group.

It does make some sense to focus one's attention and energy on age groups that are more likely to yield a higher number of compatible people. But it's silly to completely ignore someone purely because of age, when everything else seems like a good fit. Since I'm not interested in people who make such silly, irrational decisions, it doesn't matter to me if they exclude me because of age.

In my search, I don't specify or care about age. I recognize that I'm unlikely to find a good fit with someone who's a LOT older or younger than me, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible. If she's physically attractive to me, seems intelligent, and has compatible interests, then age is a pretty meaningless number (as long as she feels the same way about me).

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:22:59 AM   
looking4princess


Posts: 165
Joined: 4/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

I wouldn't get upset, chances are the quoted posters was being humorous. 


If so, I missed the context and I withdraw my concern, but I am not convinced as I see it continues.

< Message edited by looking4princess -- 10/30/2009 8:25:09 AM >

_____________________________

vincent....

Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance? I ask you.

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:24:53 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Yes, you are misreading the intent.

Hey be quite!....he DID say "shallow YOUTH" !! LMAO.....i'll take ANY correlation i get with youth LOL




I know I'm old, but I try to make up for it by being really immature.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:27:18 AM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub


quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I keep getting that question. My question is, why should it matter? If I don't find you attractive, that has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your physical looks and a personality I don't mesh with.
When a man asks me this question when he's old enough to be my father, I wonder if he's trying to put pressure or expectations on me. "You said you didn't care about age, so why don't you like *ME*?!"

What is your take on the age question?
Why do men insist on asking this question?
Do gay men ask this question of younger men?
Do women ask this question of younger men/women?




Maybe it's just poorly worded, but from what's written above, they're not asking "the age question". They're specifically accepting your assertion that age doesn't matter, so they're asking what else might be the problem.

In regard to the age issue, it's pretty much a non-issue for me. Yes, it's a little frustrating when someone seems like a virtually perfect fit for you except that they've set an arbitrary age limit that excludes you. I don't set such arbitrary limits, because I recognize that individuals of any given age can be extremely different from each other; there are 50-year-olds that seem more like 30, and vice versa. If I set such an arbitrary limit, I'm excluding some people who might be great matches for me. On the other hand, there aren't many 85-year-olds who appear to be 30, so I'm probably not missing too many good opportunities if I exclude the over 80 group.

It does make some sense to focus one's attention and energy on age groups that are more likely to yield a higher number of compatible people. But it's silly to completely ignore someone purely because of age, when everything else seems like a good fit. Since I'm not interested in people who make such silly, irrational decisions, it doesn't matter to me if they exclude me because of age.

In my search, I don't specify or care about age. I recognize that I'm unlikely to find a good fit with someone who's a LOT older or younger than me, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible. If she's physically attractive to me, seems intelligent, and has compatible interests, then age is a pretty meaningless number (as long as she feels the same way about me).


When the whining comes in, I just assume it's because they didn't get their way. People in general whine when they don't get what they want from time to time. I have never thought about it being a specific question of 'what is the problem if it isn't age' though. I'll keep that in mind if I'm ever in this position again.

I agree with everything else you wrote. While I don't generally find men 20 years older than me attractive physically or emotionally, I have never cut someone out of the running just based on a number.


_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 8:35:59 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: looking4princess

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

I wouldn't get upset, chances are the quoted posters was being humorous. 


If so, I missed the context and I withdraw my concern, but I am not convinced as I see it continues.


No harm, no foul as that was how I interpreted those comments. I'm one who 99% of the time isn't bothered by any sort of age comment whether it's aimed at me personally or in general. My attitude is one of indifference to age comments, and I do often date outside my age group and it's usually 5+ years older then myself. Yet it all boils down to the fact that it's the mutual attraction between us which is important...not the fact that there may be a 15-20 year age gap. The only stipulation I have is the reverse as I will not get involved with anyone who at an age where they could be a biological offspring. That concept is just too unnerving.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to looking4princess)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 9:02:46 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		You put that as if only older men get whiny and ask further questions about why not. Younger men do the same thing. Why not choose me (stomp stomp), ect. Its not an older man thing or a younger man thing. Its a rejection thing.


quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I don't understand how you think of that question as pressure. Younger men ask me if I am into younger men and or me it just seems like a question, I feel no pressure from it. Perhaps it is your insecurity?



I said 'I wonder if he's *trying*' Based on actual, personal experience, when an older man asks me this question and later I find out I'm not interested in them, they get whiny and ask questions that sound an awful lot like 'You said you didn't care about age, so why are you rejecting me?'

Nothing to do with my own insecurity, but thanks for trying to knock one on me.



(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 9:09:17 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: looking4princess

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

I wouldn't get upset, chances are the quoted posters was being humorous. 


If so, I missed the context and I withdraw my concern, but I am not convinced as I see it continues.


Most of the people on here are friends and are verbally jabbing one another in jest. Do not assume the worst for crying out loud. Or I will call you an old fuddy duddy!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to looking4princess)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Are you 'into' older men? - 10/30/2009 9:11:23 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

What is your take on the age question?


I don't ask, I think it is a stupid question. Having said that, I have mailed with subs stating they have no age concerns, and then getting an earful for being too old. Go figure.

Nice way to weed out the insecure and frustrates, methinks.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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