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Begging - 10/30/2009 12:33:49 PM

PainfullyCurious

Posts: 157
Joined: 10/26/2009
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So I just returned from my first-ever spin class at the gym and let me tell you, I think it was punishment enough to meet my needs for today! I was watching the clock and when there were only 5 minutes left, I found myself silently pleading for mercy- begging that the instructor would please not make us stand up or sprint anymore.
That brought my thoughts back to a question that's been forming since I started poking around CM:

As a Master, in what situations do you like to hear your sub beg?

In day-to-day life I've always thought that begging = annoying and that someone who is sure of what they are doing would just find it to be a nuisance. At what point does it start to be a turn on for you? Or is it just something that you tolerate?

Please remember - I fully expect that the answer is different for everyone. I'm looking to hear your perspective.

Post #: 1

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 12:39:19 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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begging and nagging are two different things.......begging from a wanton slut is pleasurable, to please me, for clothes to wear when she goes outside, to just about anything......

nagging is when you think that if you keep saying something over and over because I must not have heard you, and when I hear you I will acquiesce.......that is fuckin annoying.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 2

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 1:33:57 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

In day-to-day life I've always thought that begging = annoying and that someone who is sure of what they are doing would just find it to be a nuisance. At what point does it start to be a turn on for you? Or is it just something that you tolerate?

Please remember - I fully expect that the answer is different for everyone. I'm looking to hear your perspective.

Painfully,

i really had issues with this in the past. i saw it as a demeaning act and the mere idea of begging anyone for anything made me ill. i was accustomed to getting what i needed for myself and would rather circumvent the situation than plead. however, life has a way of humbling us or placing one within situations that provide opportunities for the expansion of thought. which is a nice way of saying i do it now and boy can i beg.

when properly inspired i find the act enjoyable. but i will confess it had more to do with supplicating myself for a certain Someone versus doing so in general. initially i found it only possible to do so out of contrition but can admit that there's an arousing element as well. i believe the resignation of ones ego can add a level of enjoyment to something others might view as beneath them.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 3

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 2:14:15 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

For me, "begging" is a BDSM excess that has nothing to do with real life. In real life, Carol asks for things... standing upright... on her two feet... like a human adult. It's not that I see it as demeaning... I see it as a divergence from reality... yet another BDSM power word.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 4

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 2:21:12 PM

PainfullyCurious

Posts: 157
Joined: 10/26/2009
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Hmm procelaine... I never thought of it like that.

Also, on the subject of begging to please you, how do you know that the act you're begging to do will actually please the person when they are telling you not to do it? Does that just come naturally, from developing a history what person?

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

In day-to-day life I've always thought that begging = annoying and that someone who is sure of what they are doing would just find it to be a nuisance. At what point does it start to be a turn on for you? Or is it just something that you tolerate?

Please remember - I fully expect that the answer is different for everyone. I'm looking to hear your perspective.

Painfully,

i really had issues with this in the past. i saw it as a demeaning act and the mere idea of begging anyone for anything made me ill. i was accustomed to getting what i needed for myself and would rather circumvent the situation than plead. however, life has a way of humbling us or placing one within situations that provide opportunities for the expansion of thought. which is a nice way of saying i do it now and boy can i beg.

when properly inspired i find the act enjoyable. but i will confess it had more to do with supplicating myself for a certain Someone versus doing so in general. initially i found it only possible to do so out of contrition but can admit that there's an arousing element as well. i believe the resignation of ones ego can add a level of enjoyment to something others might view as beneath them.

porcelaine

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 5

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 2:34:38 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I think sometimes it would be in the vein of knowing each other well, and for some things begging to please is kinda knowing how the world works, but look:

why can't the beg be along the lines of Master, please command me how to please you best, with all the slavish and servile accoutrements going on......

that make sense?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 6

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 2:42:09 PM

PainfullyCurious

Posts: 157
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline

Yes. It's getting clearer. I can see how it would be obvious that having a sub beg to touch you, or give you oral sex, would be pleasing.

Knowing when to beg outside of sex and play would probably be tricky for me. I don't see much of a reason for it at all. If anyone thinks differently and can explain, I'm, well, still curious...

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 7

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 2:59:34 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Mostly it's an act preferred in play/sex. Outside of it is tricky. If you have to beg to be allowed to eat dinner, where's the line between doing what's hot and mistreating someone? If they beg wrong are you going to starve them? For how long?

But "please, please, please may I cum" is one of those things that rarely is taken badly.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 8

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 3:01:38 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Master enjoys me begging for those things I genuinely want...to a point..but when he says no, that's the end. No means no so shut up.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 9

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 3:10:13 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I am with little one, regarding your current question, if you really have to carfully craft a beg to get something, perhaps it makes you appreciate what you have more, and will make you think long and hard what you need, versus what you want, and will lead to your having a less domenow attitudes and overall (believe this or not, a more contented and serene life)

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 10

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 3:11:45 PM

PainfullyCurious

Posts: 157
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If they beg wrong are you going to starve them? For how long?

OK. Now I'm lost again... How do you beg wrong?
... and I'll save my questions on how you stop yourself from having an orgasm for another day... so much to learn...

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 3:31:44 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

The orgasm, if he says no and it looks like I can't stop it, he's been known to hit me on the inner thighs with a wooden spoon. Which for me is more than enough pain to make the pleasure recede.

Some doms don't want to hear please, please, please. They want flowery thought out sentences. "Oh please Master who I adore, please let your unworthy slave have an orgasm". That kind of stuff. Of course if I'm in shape to think of full sentences then I'm not really that desperate for what I'm begging for.

But I burst into tears one time when he asked what I would do if he allowed me to come. Turns out he was looking for the word "anything" to show desperation. All I knew is that I couldn't think of anything good enough and didn't think he'd ever agree. So these days it helps if he tells me what he wants to hear. "You'll do anything for me, won't you, little girl" gets a response of "Yes I'll do anything for you, please oh please". And after hearing what he wants me to say a couple of times, now I know the kind of stuff he likes to hear.

Convoluted subject, isn't it?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 12

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 3:33:15 PM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am with little one, regarding your current question, if you really have to carfully craft a beg to get something, perhaps it makes you appreciate what you have more, and will make you think long and hard what you need, versus what you want, and will lead to your having a less domenow attitudes and overall (believe this or not, a more contented and serene life)

Ron

This is what works for me, outside of the begging to cum scenario. He makes me work hard at asking for what I want, so I am forced to evaluate my wants vs my needs and it really makes me appreciate what I have and what I receive.

_____________________________

As we think, so we become.

Nichts ist unmöglich

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 13

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 4:04:58 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe
This is what works for me, outside of the begging to cum scenario. He makes me work hard at asking for what I want, so I am forced to evaluate my wants vs my needs and it really makes me appreciate what I have and what I receive.

you just about got a begging poem made there, babe!!!!!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 14

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 4:15:40 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

Hmm procelaine... I never thought of it like that.

Also, on the subject of begging to please you, how do you know that the act you're begging to do will actually please the person when they are telling you not to do it? Does that just come naturally, from developing a history what person?

Painfully,

i do not. however, begging shows my willingness to prostrate myself before Him humbly. with the understanding He is not beholden to me and will respond according to what He deems appropriate, not my pleas. nonetheless, He expects transparency and silencing those pleas would be in contradiction to the openness i'm required to maintain. what's most important is that the request is made without expectation.

if you look at this from a realistic mindset you can see it is probable that the slave will make requests that are denied. which reinforces her station and His right to bestow or withhold as He wishes. when i find myself in situations of this nature i'm reminded that i control nothing and what is given is always a privilege which i appreciate immensely.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 15

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 5:05:07 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

So I just returned from my first-ever spin class at the gym and let me tell you, I think it was punishment enough to meet my needs for today! I was watching the clock and when there were only 5 minutes left, I found myself silently pleading for mercy- begging that the instructor would please not make us stand up or sprint anymore.
That brought my thoughts back to a question that's been forming since I started poking around CM:

As a Master, in what situations do you like to hear your sub beg?

In day-to-day life I've always thought that begging = annoying and that someone who is sure of what they are doing would just find it to be a nuisance. At what point does it start to be a turn on for you? Or is it just something that you tolerate?

Please remember - I fully expect that the answer is different for everyone. I'm looking to hear your perspective.

I am not real big on begging, though I do see the draw to it, the control and power factor. For me, if my sub has performed well, has acted in a proper manner and if she asks real nice(that doesn't mean she is required to do anything special) She will more than likely get what's she asks for. I do not require a sub to beg, to prove that I am her dominant, nor do I feel I need to be a hard ass when it comes to granting requests.

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 16

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 5:41:45 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

My S.i.T. (slave/sub in training - I'll decide which he is later) and I were going at it hard and heavy one day and he begged for something. I don't remeber what - maybe he wanted to suck me when I had other plans for him. Anyway, I told him he was not to beg since I considered inappropiate for my property, but he should simply ask, and I would decide. The end of it..... or so I thought.

A few days after that, we were going at it hard and heavy (again) and I thought, "Self, this'd be even hotter if he'd beg." So I told him to do so and he got all confused and I asked, "What's wrong?" He replied "Sir, you told me I wasn't to beg." I laughed, broke the scene and tried to sort out my own understanding of when begging is HAWT or not. My S.i.T. is waiting for me to let him know. LOL!

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 17

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 5:59:59 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am with little one, regarding your current question, if you really have to carfully craft a beg to get something, perhaps it makes you appreciate what you have more, and will make you think long and hard what you need, versus what you want, and will lead to your having a less domenow attitudes and overall (believe this or not, a more contented and serene life)

Ron

If I have to carefully craft a sentence, then I'm not at the same time desperately in need of it. So if I have to carefully craft how to ask to orgasm, then that would prevent me from having one.

Same time, I wouldn't be begging to suck his cock if the question needs to be asked so carefully. So being told to carefully craft it means I won't orgasm and I won't want to give him oral sex. Do this a lot and it's going to cause problems with our sex life. Why would I want to get aroused when I know it will end badly?

In real life, I don't beg for things. I ask once if at all. And usually I don't ask, I just hope he'll offer since he knows I like going to the bookstore, or TCBY or whatever. That's for unimportant things.

For more important things I state a need. "I have to go to the bathroom, where can we stop?". After menopause there comes a point where no matter how many kegels you do, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Same for other needs.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 18

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 6:01:18 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

Unfortunately I have never seen the thrill or the desire to indulge in the act of begging. This used to frustrate my former owner as he expected me to beg when I really wanted something, whether it was for a piece of chocolate or to be able to have an orgasm. I just can't get over the idea that I see begging for something as being too demeaning in my mind.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 19

RE: Begging - 10/30/2009 6:11:04 PM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

My S.i.T. (slave/sub in training - I'll decide which he is later) and I were going at it hard and heavy one day and he begged for something. I don't remeber what - maybe he wanted to suck me when I had other plans for him. Anyway, I told him he was not to beg since I considered inappropiate for my property, but he should simply ask, and I would decide. The end of it..... or so I thought.

A few days after that, we were going at it hard and heavy (again) and I thought, "Self, this'd be even hotter if he'd beg." So I told him to do so and he got all confused and I asked, "What's wrong?" He replied "Sir, you told me I wasn't to beg." I laughed, broke the scene and tried to sort out my own understanding of when begging is HAWT or not. My S.i.T. is waiting for me to let him know. LOL!

This is funny. My boyfriend makes it easy for me. When he wants me to beg, he says, "Beg."

On a related note, LanceHughes, my boyfriend didn't want me to call him sir, then after months decided he did in a particular circumstance. Again, he made it easy for me. I begged for something and he repeated what I'd said and added "sir" to the end. It was obvious to me what he wanted.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 20

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