He says one thing but does another.

He says one thing but does another. (Full Version)

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vicioustoy -> He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:02:03 PM)
Hello, Masters. I am new to the notion of finding Masters online and I'm in a bit of a quandry here. In brief, for the last month I've been speaking with a Master I adore and really click with. However, he has made excuses as to why we could not meet last week, the week before etc despite the fact that he maintains that he wants to and we will. It really seems like he's just pulling all punches to get out of meeting. We even had a deadline for meeting which fell through because he got "ill." I do not know whether to give him the benefit of the doubt or believe I am getting toyed with (and not in the fun way). Also, he has been neglecting me. Our communications went from constant to basically rare and he is basically ignoring me . He does not respond to my texts or emails, despite my telling him that I am beginning to lose faith in him but when he does reply he again maintains that I am "stuck" with him and we will meet etc etc etc. It has been one week since he went from doting to barely around. Is he keeping me on the line so to speak? I figure these are the possibilities: - He has been a fraud since day one, lying about his physique, marital status or something else and knows he can never meet and therefore has been leading me on for his own pathetic jollies. - He is just an ass and he is getting off on messing with me. - He is telling the truth about his excuses, is merely busy and this is all coincidental. Of course I am (stupidly?) hoping for entry #3. Have I been "velcro collared"? Why would he continue contact if he has lost interest and just wants out? Any feedback is appreciated on this matter. I am rather distraught over this. I thank you in advance. Thank you. V

DarkSteven -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:05:22 PM)
Here's what you're looking at, worst-case: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2875431/tm.htm

lizi -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:11:49 PM)
Read the thread DS posted, I'd have done it but he beat me to it. If someone can't be bothered to show enough interest in you just move on. At the very least the two of you may not be a good match. There are many probable reasons why it's happening that he's not in contact with you and postponing a meeting and none of them are good. He's either not who he says he is or in another relationship. You're young and gorgeous, if anyone puts off meeting you they have a skeleton in the closet. Period.

DesFIP -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:12:47 PM)
His wife's been checking his computer usage, phone calls, texts etc. His mother's making him do homework and not hang out on the computer. She's also taken his cell phone away because of his grades. He thinks this is funny. He is a she. Pick your own. What I want to say is that why doesn't matter. Are you happy? No. Do you trust anything he says anymore? No. So when you're unhappy and untrusting, why continue? Move on and find someone who wants to meet quickly as you do, someone who wants the same level of contact as you do.

lovingpet -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:15:04 PM)
At best, it sounds like he's just not in a place in his life where he has the proper focus to place on you. At worst, he has lost interest and you should be cutting your losses. Is what you have acceptable to you? Have you asked him why the contact has dwindled? Are you willing to wait while he sorts out life circumstances or do you want to continue your search? There is really nothing lost or gained at this point. What is right for you at this time? lovingpet

vicioustoy -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:16:26 PM)
Thank you graciously for your responses....I think I just needed to hear someone say it. :(

DrkJourney -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:19:33 PM)
Been through this dozens of times when I was looking for a slave. It's a net game. When things get too close, they will disappear for weeks, months, whatever, then he will show up out of the blue wanting to apologise sometimes even blaming you for the reason he left, and want to try again...but he will do the same thing all over again once things start getting too close. You are stuck with no one. Just because you are submissive you still get to choose who you serve. Stop feeding into him...meaning stop trying to make contact, move on and when he does come back, either ignore him or tell him you are no longer interested and then ignore him. I just had a one of these gamers contact me the other night (had run off at least 3 times before...the last time was sometime last year, when he finally admitted that he was married), he actually was trying to get things started again, even though he read in my profile that I was now married. It's all a game to those types...don't waste your time....continue your search [ok off my soapbox now].....lol

vicioustoy -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:24:11 PM)
Again, I hear it and know you are right. I have a lamentable fetish (I'm seldom able to see men under like 6'3 as Dominants) and maybe I was just stupified over finding a 6'5 local Dominant who didn't already own a pet. Ah well. I'm sure there are others. Guess I'll take it out on the old slave tonight. :P I'm still sad and disappointed but I know in my heart that you're all right. Thank you for taking the time to put the writing on the wall for my optimistically blinded ass to see. :/

DrkJourney -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:28:13 PM)
Never blame yourself....hope does it to us all...why else would so many have flown under my radar in the past...lol Just wait, that disappoint will turn into just plain pissed off and the old skin will get thicker and thicker.....lol Just be patient it will happen...and in the meantime you have something to occupy your time...lol

DarkSteven -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:30:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: vicioustoy Again, I hear it and know you are right. I have a lamentable fetish (I'm seldom able to see men under like 6'3 as Dominants) and maybe I was just stupified over finding a 6'5 local Dominant who didn't already own a pet. So? I'm 5'9" in RL but 6'8" online. And my cock size gets REALLY big online. [:D]

antipode -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:33:24 PM)
quote: We even had a deadline for meeting which fell through because he got "ill." I am not sure what you want with all of the questions and possible scenarios. If he had wanted to meet, he would have. Don't be insecure. It is - barely - possible he is hesitant because you have left your weight out of your profile, which normally only overweight women do.

lizi -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:37:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: vicioustoy Again, I hear it and know you are right. I have a lamentable fetish (I'm seldom able to see men under like 6'3 as Dominants) and maybe I was just stupified over finding a 6'5 local Dominant who didn't already own a pet. Ah well. I'm sure there are others. Guess I'll take it out on the old slave tonight. :P I'm still sad and disappointed but I know in my heart that you're all right. Thank you for taking the time to put the writing on the wall for my optimistically blinded ass to see. :/ When you find someone you think will fit the bill it's hard to let go...but in this case you have to see that he may fit your height requirements and THAT'S IT! Besides, did you ever think that maybe that's what he faked...the one thing you want...his height?Someone else will come along. It's going to happen. Don't settle for less than what makes you happy- what is it worth if you get a nice tall man and you're not happy with him? There were times when I felt as you did about someone that really fit me in some way but not totally, it was hard to let go but boy am I glad I did in the end. A lot of the people here have found what they are seeking or are still looking but they're bound and determined to never settle. I learned a lot from reading the message boards and seeing what people had to say about their relationships. It helped me get my act together and figure out what I wanted and what would make me happy. The best of luck to you...

vicioustoy -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 6:41:20 PM)
DarkSteven- Lots of photos were exchanged. It's quite unlikely he is lying (verifiers and such) antipode- if you read my profile you'll see it is clearly stated that I am a large woman. I just think it is in poor taste to print my weight online. He has seen many, many pics of me and is well aware (and apparently into) my shape. Incidentally, I met him elsewhere online and he has not seen this profile. lizi- Unless he took a few photos of his big friend with my name written on him in ballpoint pen, it is unlikely. One month doesn't seem like a ridiculous time to get to know someone/meet someone but I'm still going to back myself up I think.

KCpower -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 7:18:44 PM)
He's a midget....face it. so WTF? why worry...even if he is a giant physically, he's a midget mentally. You deserve and will get better...trust me. By the way..I'm six foot three and my cerebullem is even larger....if yu want to chat?

vicioustoy -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 7:26:08 PM)
Well said Mr. KCpower and if you're local (and not an asshat like some people), wouldn't that be a charm? Edit- Ach, you're not local to me, but ah well. I'm sure I'll find another tall guy who gets through to my stubborn self. It's not like there's only one on earth who seems to be able to subdue me. Rare-ish but not totally impossible.

NuevaVida -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 7:44:47 PM)
I corresponded with my owner for a month or so before we started talking on the phone, and it wasn't long before we talked daily and at great length. One night - a Thursday, in fact - I asked him, "What are we doing here...where do you see this going?" He said "I am very interested in pursuing a relationship with you." My response was if that was the case, I needed to meet him, and very soon, so I could see him and look into his eyes. We met that weekend, despite that he worked all weekend and had to drive over an hour after work to see me. To add to that, I offered to drive to him, to the city he worked in, but he insisted we meet halfway. My point is (and I see it has already been said), if he were serious about you and wanted to meet you, he would have. In your shoes I'd have lost interest after the second cancellation.

Wantstocontrolu -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 8:03:56 PM)
Pick door number one.. he is a fraud or just a person who is unhappily married and living a fantasy

Musicmystery -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 8:19:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven And my cock size gets REALLY big online. Yeah, but it won't upload... [;)]

vicioustoy -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/30/2009 8:20:16 PM)
quote: My point is (and I see it has already been said), if he were serious about you and wanted to meet you, he would have. In your shoes I'd have lost interest after the second cancellation. Well, we never actually had a concrete date to meet actually. It's been about a month and he's allegedly been having a nightmare at work, a sick family member and he himself was sick. When I think of all I've been through in the last few weeks and how they would sound to someone who was trying to meet who didn't know they were untrue, my thoughts shift and I wonder if this is all situational. This month I was on the road for a week with my friend's band, my dog came down with a rare neurological disorder out of the blue, I got sick with a wretched flu, I got "hacked" at an ATM and had my rent money stolen... Maybe his excuses are not so far fetched. But I did manage to keep in touch though...then again my job isn't as all consuming as his by a longshot. Either way, I'm keeping an open mind but distancing myself and looking in case he falls through. The ball is in his court, it's just all the variables that are making me a little insane. If he comes through he comes through, if not there's nothing I can do about it so I just have to try to keep my chin up, right? Him being married is also a possibility, but seeing as I am also married (my husband is my 24/7 slave), he knows I would not be opposed and should theoretically not care. I'll keep all you awesome people updated whatever happens. :) Oh and Musicmystery, LMAO. Thanks, I needed that!

Rhodes85 -> RE: He says one thing but does another. (10/31/2009 8:52:24 PM)
Howdy Vicious I agree. Either hes married (or otherwise involved) or hes screwing you over. Unfortunately theres plenty of people that get off screwing with peoples heads like that. I've been there so I know how you feel (also learned that just because I was 23 and she was 36 doesn't mean shes more mature than me. Sad but true) Anyways, regardless of what the reason for him doing this is, I don't think you should care why he is doing it. He is screwing you over, not treating you with the respect you deserve and therefore does not deserve you. Period. My advice is to drop his ass to the curb, don't look back and DON'T feel bad about it in any way. His losing you is his fault and his not treating you with respect is his fault. Not yours. Also, the being married part, the key point is that yes you are married, but your husband knows about all of this (and being your slave I assume is perfectly ok with it) while on the other hand his wife (assuming hes married) evidently is not aware of his activities with you. So really he can't use that as an excuse. In any case, whatever happens don't let it get you down. You're young, very attractive and i'd say you have alot to offer. I don't think you will have any trouble finding someone alot better than this guy. Hell i'm 6 feet, very strong and can handle stubborn people extremely well (you haven't seen stubborn until you've met one of my staff [:D] ) and i'd be very interested if I were more local. Well i'd be interested anyway but you seem to be interested in local. Ah well, like I said, theres a hell of alot more people out there for you. Good luck.

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