Profiles and Journals

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Profiles and Journals

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Profiles and Journals

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Profiles and Journals - 10/31/2009 2:41:01 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

This is to the millions of members on this site who spend their profile space to detail the kinds of fakers, scamers and liars they have met online, which they would like to politely not write them. The people they are directing it at have never shown any evidence of manners or concerns for another feelings, but, surely, if you spell out in your profile what you dont want out of life, they will respect that, right?

A lot of men will write you, call you things they don't have permission to call you, make demands, and cuss you out and tell you that you are not a sub when you don't obey them, sight unseen. Some men in other countries will write and tell you they want to be your slave and need you to send them money. Someone will eventually write and offer you an all at home, all on line job which you will not be able to see the flaw in, which seems legit, but, if you take it, you would actually be breaking federal laws. They will deny this to the end. Some men in Nigeria, who barely speak English, will write to you claiming to be Native born Americans. They will say they live in NYC and speak no language other than English. Since they clearly can't speak English, if this were true, it would be very sad.
The ones who don't read your profile, won't read your journal, either. It is of no value to put things in your profile like 'please read my profile' or 'no scammers'. it just makes you seem to focus on the negative - the ones you are directing it at never read it.
It is like going to the mailbox. 90% of the mail is either junk mail or bills. but i keep picking my mail up, everyday, because sometimes i get a party invite or a letter from a friend.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

Post #: 1

RE: Profiles and Journals - 10/31/2009 5:03:36 PM

gentlemanprince

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

While I agree that the directions and warnings will not affect the scammers in the least, I suspect that writing them is a form of venting.

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 2

RE: Profiles and Journals - 10/31/2009 5:33:29 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

This is to the millions of members on this site who spend their profile space to detail the kinds of fakers, scamers and liars they have met online, which they would like to politely not write them. The people they are directing it at have never shown any evidence of manners or concerns for another feelings, but, surely, if you spell out in your profile what you dont want out of life, they will respect that, right?

Wrong, but of course we all know that.
I put time and effort into my profile and rarely do I get email from people who have taken the time to read any of it. However...there are those who do, the few...the proud...the literate! I love when someone takes the time to comment on something I've written in my profile or journal. I have a lot in my journal and I've gotten emails from men who comment on something I wrote about last year...I like that.

A lot of men will write you, call you things they don't have permission to call you, make demands, and cuss you out and tell you that you are not a sub when you don't obey them, sight unseen. Some men in other countries will write and tell you they want to be your slave and need you to send them money. Someone will eventually write and offer you an all at home, all on line job which you will not be able to see the flaw in, which seems legit, but, if you take it, you would actually be breaking federal laws. They will deny this to the end. Some men in Nigeria, who barely speak English, will write to you claiming to be Native born Americans. They will say they live in NYC and speak no language other than English. Since they clearly can't speak English, if this were true, it would be very sad.

This reminds me of the email I got yesterday from a dom (I use that term loosely) who sent me a phone number and said "call me bitch". I did....call him bitch, that is, then proceeded to block. Then there's the "couple" from Florida who want me to work part time in their office and have sent me at least 4 emails even though I've blocked them...inset HUGE eye roll. Or what about the male sub who told me he has a web cam and is willing to learn to please me...in ROMANIA!!!! Yes, this is the grease that clogs the arteries of CollarMe.

The ones who don't read your profile, won't read your journal, either. It is of no value to put things in your profile like 'please read my profile' or 'no scammers'. it just makes you seem to focus on the negative - the ones you are directing it at never read it.

Which is why I really don't bother writing about scammers and fakes. My journal is full of quotes and things I think about or am dealing with that are D/s related, somewhat...sometimes...except for the silly stuff.
In fact, I get turned off by the people who rant on about all the "fakes and scammers" in their journals. I was reading through some of them this morning and these rants made up most of the entries I read. I find them to be very negative and depressing. I rant but I try to find something positive in the end...finish with a positive note or suggestion. At least I think I do. You're right, though, what I write about people trying to have integrity or maturity is more than likely falling on deaf ears for the most part.
In the end...I write for Me...to please Me...and if it pleases someone else, great!

It is like going to the mailbox. 90% of the mail is either junk mail or bills. but i keep picking my mail up, everyday, because sometimes i get a party invite or a letter from a friend.

Yeah, those letters from friends...though few and far between...do make it worth it.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 3

RE: Profiles and Journals - 10/31/2009 5:34:01 PM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

It matters not what you have written in your profile, men especially, and not all by any means, will fall over themselves to write to you, call you all the names under the sun, want you to obey from word one, and tell you you are a hopeless sub or slave or whatever, and just generally make themselves pains in the arse.

There are a percentage of people who never ever read or take on board what is written by others on their profiles, they are just here to make a prat of themselves and piss off as many as possible, shake down the unwary too. But there are good folk, who read positive, informative profiles, and do contact others who look like they might respond.

Unfortunately, the good does not outweigh the dross!

_____________________________

pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 4

RE: Profiles and Journals - 10/31/2009 5:53:20 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

This is to the millions of members on this site who spend their profile space to detail the kinds of fakers, scamers and liars they have met online, which they would like to politely not write them. The people they are directing it at have never shown any evidence of manners or concerns for another feelings, but, surely, if you spell out in your profile what you dont want out of life, they will respect that, right?

A lot of men will write you, call you things they don't have permission to call you, make demands, and cuss you out and tell you that you are not a sub when you don't obey them, sight unseen. Some men in other countries will write and tell you they want to be your slave and need you to send them money. Someone will eventually write and offer you an all at home, all on line job which you will not be able to see the flaw in, which seems legit, but, if you take it, you would actually be breaking federal laws. They will deny this to the end. Some men in Nigeria, who barely speak English, will write to you claiming to be Native born Americans. They will say they live in NYC and speak no language other than English. Since they clearly can't speak English, if this were true, it would be very sad.
The ones who don't read your profile, won't read your journal, either. It is of no value to put things in your profile like 'please read my profile' or 'no scammers'. it just makes you seem to focus on the negative - the ones you are directing it at never read it.
It is like going to the mailbox. 90% of the mail is either junk mail or bills. but i keep picking my mail up, everyday, because sometimes i get a party invite or a letter from a friend.

I jusrt simply delete them and move on, maybe someday they will get tired of the rejection and move on as well

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 5

RE: Profiles and Journals - 10/31/2009 6:14:13 PM

SubmissiveOinker

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/23/2009
Status: offline

I personally find myself getting frustrated at the pages of messages I receive, however I fully appreciate it when people who message me are serious about the content found in both my profile as well as my journal entries, I realize its online that means it will always be hard to search through the fakes out there. In the end,it shall certainly be work it, I just read through the messages and respond to who I can. The thing that probably annoys me the most in the end is getting a long detailed message, five minutes after the person notices I read the message, sending me several messages. Its irritating as it takes time to respond to messages. Way I figure it, you can always step away then respond, when your mind is calm enough...or just block and delete the person's message. After all it is your choice in what you want to do. Why waste your emotions on rude messages when there are better things to do with your life? That's my point just focus on the good messages your receive,instead of the bad.

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 6

RE: Profiles and Journals - 10/31/2009 6:24:07 PM

Lucienne

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline

I understand the urge to vent. But it really is kind of silly to read "if you are a robot, do not respond to me!!!!"

It's like guys who write "No Games!!" I pointed out to a guy once that it's worthless to include that qualification, because it's not like there are people out there with profiles stating "I love being manipulated. Please fuck with my head in an insincere manner." He thought I was an asshole for saying that. I could live with it.

(in reply to SubmissiveOinker)

Post #: 7

RE: Profiles and Journals - 10/31/2009 6:28:35 PM

librarysub

Posts: 32
Joined: 11/16/2008
Status: offline

tsatske Thanks. For some reason your post set off a light bulb about communicating with people in general. There are just some brick walls out there and trying to talk or write to them just makes a person look silly. I refuse to be unintentionally silly (stupid) anymore. Well okay, I'm sure I will be but I really have learned something here.

_____________________________

De Ja Moo: The feeling I've heard this Bull before

i'm an adult so i can do whatever my Master wants

i swallow because i like to keep things clean.

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 8

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 12:10:55 AM

mystiquenz

Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline

You always have the following option: *unplug the computer and walk away*

Well wishes,

_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 9

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 12:35:35 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

agree, but you don't commit suicide when you dislike 1 thing in life either. ( well most of us don't)

Iknow every forum sooner or later get spammers. But I am curious about how it works when you report them.
I see some names comming back over and over..and I reported them several times. Guess it takes a lott of time to check them.

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 11/1/2009 12:38:43 AM >

(in reply to mystiquenz)

Post #: 10

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 5:31:03 AM

librarysub

Posts: 32
Joined: 11/16/2008
Status: offline

i got a message about "work at home". The weird thing was the sender has a profile and even a picture, and had looked at my profile. Made me wonder if it's an intelligence test. i ignored it and him, so wonder if that means i passed or failed?

_____________________________

De Ja Moo: The feeling I've heard this Bull before

i'm an adult so i can do whatever my Master wants

i swallow because i like to keep things clean.

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 11

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 5:36:39 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

Intelligence test? For what?
To see if you are suitable for him?

(in reply to librarysub)

Post #: 12

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 5:36:41 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

The guy who offered me the work at home offer had a very legit profile, with a very natural (not model perfect, not my size - fit but middle aged) picture. this kind of scam does not require a model, its better if you feel comfortable with the picture.
He had sense to write me a couple of times before he offered the job. Just needed someone to print out the checks to mail to pay his bills for his buisness, print out bills for him.
i can see someone doing that from home. I can not prove that this guy is printing bad checks. BUT- if i trust this guy I don't know (who sure sounded like a nice, normal, middle of the road guy in the letters he wrote me before the job offer) - if it goes bad, I'm the one going down for it. I would be the one with the least knowldge, the least profit - but the one actually printing the checks.
I can see someone doing such a job from home. I can see a small buisness owner wanting to hire an indivdual to do this instead of a more expensive company. I can see saving money by hiring an unskilled individual for something that doesn't take much skill. BUT - by the time you type in all the info for me, you've done most of the work you are hiring out. Why not hire someone local to you so you can just drop off a bag of paperwork to them once a week? Unless you need to cross statelines to make you harder to catch.... it just doesn't feel right. I didn't write him back.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to librarysub)

Post #: 13

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 7:39:40 AM

prpackaged

Posts: 65
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

I love reviewing profiles and, sometimes, journals. There is a wealth of knowledge presented in the writings. First and formost there is the information that there is something in common that might make contact worth attempting. I am always amazed that people want full control of the situation before they have had a chance to explore that situation. Someone who is a switch but only responds to subs certainly will not develop relationships with doms/dommes. My preference is to follow up on those who have similar interests. The certain death knell for an attempt is to read that this person has put his/herself out there and had "only" be approached by scammers and, therefore, wants the scammers to stop writting but is open to others as long as they meet those very restrictive criteria. I am still looking for interesting subs who are near my age. These children

that I see are not very interesting. Are not profiled intended to elicite interest? Are not the journals extra informaton to fill out desires and interests? Too many want perfection on the first email. I have certainly had my share of Nigerian contacts. I am courteous enough to reply and always point out that the reputation of those from Niger is that of scammers. Rarely do I recieve a reply. Simple dictum to follow: Ask for what you want and accept with courtesy what is offered. Simple turn downs for first contact is a gracious way to point out that the person did not read or understand your profile. And for all who post: Thanks for filling out our profiles with anything other than "prefer not to say".

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 14

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 8:14:50 AM

Lucienne

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: prpackaged

I love reviewing profiles and, sometimes, journals. There is a wealth of knowledge presented in the writings.

Maybe it's just me, but I read the entire profile and all journals prior to contacting someone. It seems foolish not to. Reading journal entries is usually good for some laughs as well as eliminations without having to contact the guy. Having journal entries on my profile helps me determine how much discernment goes into a guy's decision to contact me.

I have a journal entry that states I decline all CM chat requests, don't do yahoo, and don't care to IM with people I don't know in real life. This morning, I had a guy send me a chat request. Decline. Then he cmails me - I'd like to get to know you. I respond: I suggest you start by reading my profile and journal entries. Thanks to the lovely "who's viewing me feature," I know that this was the point at which the young man clicked on my full profile. A minute later he writes "I did. do you have yahoo?" I respond: No you didn't, or you wouldn't be asking that question.

Then I wrote some friendly advice I'm considering promoting to a journal entry, but I don't know if it comes across as too negative:

Dude, put some effort into this shit. All you're going to get with spam and fly-bys is scammers and dolts.

(in reply to prpackaged)

Post #: 15

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 8:42:25 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

I received the same email this morning. I checked out his profile, and while somewhat surprised it wasn't written in broken English, I still reported it as a spammer and went on about my surfing. ♥

quote:

ORIGINAL: librarysub

i got a message about "work at home". The weird thing was the sender has a profile and even a picture, and had looked at my profile. Made me wonder if it's an intelligence test. i ignored it and him, so wonder if that means i passed or failed?

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to librarysub)

Post #: 16

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 8:48:07 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

Our profile says that if you dont read it, we will know. And we will.

I assume no one reads them when they are being a self-serving wanker, and so if they make a int that they have (we have a prefered way of being greeted right up there on top) they will get a reply. If they couldnt be bothered, neither can we. Easy.

As for reading journals, thats my ventspace. I had made one about requiring tribute towards the wedding from anyone who begged to serve, in hopes that the tribute thing would keep people at bay. I even SAID that since so many people find tributes so disturbing I was hoping it would cut down on our offers. It actually increased them.

I no longer thing people DONT read. I think they very selectively read. They see the parts that they think help their case, and skip over the ones that wont help them get what they want.

DV

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to krikket)

Post #: 17

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 8:55:18 AM

SubmissiveOinker

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/23/2009
Status: offline

quote:

i got a message about "work at home". The weird thing was the sender has a profile and even a picture, and had looked at my profile. Made me wonder if it's an intelligence test. i ignored it and him, so wonder if that means i passed or failed?

Okay I am still learning how to do the quote thing ::Chuckles:: So hopefully this worked as I wanted it to.

Now, I've received the work at home Message last night too, actually I received the same message twice. I recently edited my profile, making my profile seem more demanding than I actually am so I don't have to spend a day going over 4 or 5 pages of messages Wrote out some regulations for people to message me, they are pretty simple. One of them was stating that I won't be responding to messages without them mentioning my profile at all.

(in reply to VampiresLair)

Post #: 18

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 9:31:06 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

I see some names comming back over and over..and I reported them several times. Guess it takes a lott of time to check them.

If you read the autosystem message carefully, it does tell you that you only need to report once, as you're only counted once. It says "after a predetermined number of users have reported it"; it doesn't say "after a predetermined number of reports".

quote:

i can see someone doing that from home. I can not prove that this guy is printing bad checks...

His English must be getting better then, or perhaps someone else was "on duty" when they were writing to you. The work-at-home-printing-our-checks letter I got was full of strange information that sounded like it was run thru an online translator. For instance:

This is (name removed to protect the guilty), a Supervising staff of (name) Construction firm.

Do u know how to set up a bank account on a blank check cos will are looking for some one who will be doing that as we have liason with the UPS as regards the Delivery of the payments

Then there is the whole interest in magnetic ink. If you're a company that is large enough to print your own checks with magnetic ink (and I don't mean the "pay to" info, I mean the account numbers and routing numbers at the bottom), you won't be hiring people to do this at home. I think the guy has been watching the movie "Catch Me If You Can", which recounts the life and "career" of a master con artist who printed his own checks by purchasing a MICR machine at an auction.

I reported it as scam.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 19

RE: Profiles and Journals - 11/1/2009 9:42:38 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

I've recieved the email from the "construction firm"....report/block

The one I've been getting is from a profile that claims to be a submissive couple from Florida...

"Would u like to work online from home temporarily and get $500-$1500 weekly ?
Just a part time work and won't disturb your day time work Pm me back if
you are interested for more details....email deleted to protect fools"

I have reported and blocked but "they" continue to view my profile so I'm sure there will be more to come under another name.

I've taken to deleting mail from people who either haven't viewed my profile or who don't post on the forums. Sure, I may be missing out on the next big thing but...C'est la vie!

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Profiles and Journals

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109