Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. (11/2/2009 2:49:00 AM)
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Sunshine, I wasn't I used to shine on that I had an adhd problem, I mean I knew I was adhd, but I was like oh it's ok it's not bad, and it wasn't but it is, and I just didn't realize it because I didn't see it and the scabs been ripped off the wound because Daddy tells me as gently as possible look honey you're doing x and people are doing ya nd I was like no daddy no daddy they're just not nice people . Or C has tried so politely to tell me to my face with out hurting me because she knows I have mental problems, and she's been so good, but daddy paints her as a villan because even though she's nice to me her words hurt and he can tell I was crying, and then he's like super protective, and I'm like no c's right and hes like no she's a fucking bully I want nothing to do w ith but you want to try to calm things down* and I end up making things worse,* and I'm going to let you do what you need to do to fix things and I fuck them up so banned I am damned near permenantly banned from her bdsm events. On here when I am agreeing an telling people what I am doing to get bvetter some cheer for me and then feel I am yes butting them and their advide and have no intention of doing what they told me, I'M NOT I am agreeing an letting you all know I tried it or that or this or some other. And every one has been so kind and tole me keep up the good work talk about your progress check in and I do, but albeit on a new thread an then the haters say shut up or oh god it's you again or you're an idiot, and it hurts me I was so happy tonight and I came here and all the negative replies an the ripping me a new asshole had me a panicking mes sin minutes because I tried to explain an them someone said wait why are you posting YET AGAIN, on a thread YOU ALREADY POSTED. And I explain an they understand but any good that came out of it is lost amongts the snarkyness, so I post again an try again and mods call it spam and delete it an mean while all the people who were rooting for me slowly begin to think of me as an idiot again and I''ve lost the friendship that was budding and then I am completely ignored because chris moss is an attention seeking whore who's an idiot, not because of her honest to god mental problems but because she's stupid and a post whore. quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Hello TFB, You are still very young, and perhaps life seems terribly immediate to you. Over time you will find that while yes, things will come back to bite you in the bum at times, and yes, people will remember that, there will also be those glorious times when people say "wow, she's really matured." You will find that even when you screw up, your taking responsibility and working on it and keeping on will be seen and your process respected. Even if people don't like you, or they have prejudices against you, you will still be ok. One day, the naysayers and the gloom and doom people will not matter to you. Many of us have been in the same boat you are in. I certainly have. I can't tell you how many people were uncomfortable with me and with how I behaved. But if we allow ourselves we really do grow up, gain coping mechanisms, and calm down. I would like to encourage you to look at a couple of things. I don't think you need to answer on the boards, but you may want to write me privately (you are very welcome to), or you may want to talk it over with a trusted advisor : Medications - are you on them? Are they correct for you (type and dosage)... I found that when I go off my thyroid medication I am really pretty crazy. I can't explain how it works, I just know that I can't focus, I'm scared all the time, and I have no control over my emotions and behaviors. When I'm on the right medication, I'm a pretty calm gal. Therapy - how's it working? Are you getting the RIGHT NOW help you need? Therapy is a two tiered process - one is dealing with the underlying issues to clean them up but the other is creating coping mechanisms so your underlying issues don't overwhelm you while you are dealing with them. Are you getting both of these things? Friends - You say you don't have any in real life. I want to recommend that you try some twelve step programs. I know you've mentioned that you were in Foster Care? Group Home? Clearly you have issues around food so Overeaters Anonymous could be an option. Also, I found Adult Children of Alcoholics and Alanon helpful because my father's drinking was what caused so many of the problems in my own family. Even if alcohol is not an issue in your life or your family's lives, those groups can still be helpful for people who have a hard time taking care of themselves. Generally speaking they are supportive and kind people who have been through some pretty heavy stuff and can handle what you are going through. Somebody has been where you are. Over the last two years, I've seen you grow and mature in many ways. Your posts used to be really angry and filled with some pretty hurtful, blasty kinds of things. Now you are a lot calmer than where you were (although, yes, you do have a ways to go - but don't we all?). Hang in there. This too shall pass, hugs, sunshine
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