Some things you dont talk about...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Some things you dont talk about...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Some things you dont talk about...

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 8:30:27 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Relationships are an intimate thing between two..or in some peoples cases more than 2 people. I noticed there are tons of people on here who are actually in D/s Master/Mistress slave/submissive relationships,so it made me think...we are all participating in a forum, exchanging of ideas, putting out a problem or two, sharing experiences, asking questions..but what are some of the things you would never talk about on here in regards to your relationship? I know there are areas for me I wont publish to the forum..things like..say I disagreed with Master over something and I was upset...I'd never ask for advice on here....thats something for Master and I to work out..I wouldnt invite people in to advise...I dont think Master would want me to either.

If you are already in an established D/s relationship where are your limits in regards to posting and what you post about?

If your not in a relationship at this time, where are your limits in regards to what you post?

Post #: 1

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 8:39:22 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

My limits would be plentiful..if it is something that can be responded to with common sense they hey I am there with an opinion..however if it is something that deals with actual D/s experience and not just human nature or male/female issues then I say nothing,as I feel that with novice status my 2 cents would be worth less than 2 cents....be well..Tempting

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 2

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 8:43:57 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

I am new to this forum and therefore not much is known about Me...I am not in a relationship at this time and have been open about my seperation (she gets her apartment the first of May...) but somethings I won't post directly have to do w/family, I have spoken to friends and emailed people I know...I also see this as an exchange of thought (and quite a bit of humor ) but I agree, directly personal such as a disagreement between you and your Master is none of My business...though I could see a post regarding how to deal with that situation in general...and you'ld prob'ly be told to talk with your Master LOL...
I enjoy the thought provoking posts on the board in general and the honesty and attempts to learn/teach.
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 3

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 8:45:24 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

I think that problems currently going on in the relationship are a biggie. I post things about my boy that was released for the sake of learning from mistakes even if I'm not always the one getting the benefit.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 4

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 9:04:58 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

If you are already in an established D/s relationship where are your limits in regards to posting and what you post about?

;) I'm not telling.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 5

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 9:05:06 PM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

He enters, dips His lid smiling,,,,

thinks to self of that song "You can't touch this....."

and that in short is the boundary.

If you feel that to post your comment is to be hurtful, disrespectful and detrimental to the other person then dont - Whether your Dom/me or to another poster. (I sometimes struggle myself with other posters) To do otherwise is a poor reflection upon oneself.

Too many people yell from the rooftops about their self-rights yet totally forget about others' rights. The only rights I have are the ones that people give me through respect of me, just as I endeavour to do to them.

Yes, of course we can post of troubles in our D/s M/s relationships cos there is truly learning for others to be had in reading those posts, but I believe these posts are generally of 'healed' troubles to be positively received within the existing relationship and with other posters. Whingeing? or Educating? another bottom line.......

The posts recently of subs and Ds speaking of their childhood, adolescent abuse and their learning is a great example. Yes, this impacted in Wild's relationship with men in general and then I questioned it with Us. Yes it impacted hugely on our relationship and the reality is that it may rear it's head in the future; however we are both sufficiently secure to share this and she was able to convince me that she had sufficiently 'healed' to assist others' education in their self- healing for more fulfilling relationships.. On this particular topic it pleases me that the pain I give her is a fulfilling healthy need not a fucked-up one.

I trust this makes some sense.

Warm regards

Paul, Sir to His Wild and His Angel.

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 6

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 9:06:38 PM

Delvin

Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

Hmm,

Here as well as other places Myself and my slave use these forums for information on how others view this life we all live, how they live each day. I really cringe when someone starts to bring out their personal laundry and will post to it if I see something I can offer up as advice. As for our personal laundry, it is never placed on the open forums simply because that is My burden to take care of not a large list of strangers with no idea how we live. If I should need advice on something, I will seek out the proper professionals if needed which include Men I trust within this life. I give my slave a little freedom to speak with other slaves to work through some of her day to day emotions and feelings, though everything she may discuss is always discussed at home as well.

One note here is a personal private journal she will keep for herself which I have placed as off limits to Me as well as anyone else as long as I own her. This is her own detailed journal which she can reflect on as the years go by. If at some time she wishes to divulge that information, that first would be discussed with Me before releasing it to open scrutiny unless of course she no longer serves in which case, she is free to do as she wishes.

Ultimately we are here to seek out other like minded people who we can enjoy conversations and yes, even heated discussions about this life, but beyond that, the personal information remains that; Personal.

D

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 7

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 9:58:31 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Generally I prefer to post to a subject already on the boards. What goes on in my life tends to stay there. It is of little interest to anyone else anyway except when I can used it as an example or to demonstrate a point.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Delvin)

Post #: 8

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 10:06:38 PM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

What happens in our bedroom stays in our bedroom. Sex is not something that I would really discuss here, either would be any big problems in the relationship.

1st Girl Phoenix

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 9

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 10:14:44 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I am a believer in the motto, "Discretion is the better part of valor". As a general rule I will post information on a forum that I would share in casual kink conversation such as -

#1 Have you tried the new club/dungeon yet? I was thinking of going there with my
sub next weekend.

#2 I just attended a particular workshop/class with my sub and we enjoy the
practicing the new techniques.

The inner workings of the relationship are a private matter. If I need advise, constructive
feedback or just to vent, then I turn to my close friends in The Lifestyle.

Sincerely,

Vendaval

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

If you are already in an established D/s relationship where are your limits in regards to posting and what you post about?

If your not in a relationship at this time, where are your limits in regards to what you post?

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 10

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 10:14:45 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

I really don't know. As a rule i would say that what is between my pet and I stays between her and I.
However, that being said, I do tend to ramble and will probably reveal things that would be better left unrevealed....that's the price of having a big mouth, both actual & cyber.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)

Post #: 11

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 10:26:43 PM

slo18

Posts: 125
Status: offline

I dont know there was a message board that I posted on for years that recently became defunct. I told everything right down to names. but, no one i talked about posted there and there was no chance of these ppl ever meeting those ppl so no ones feelings got hurt and i got good advice. here I dont know I am not at that level of comfort and there is a chance of meeting ppl who know ppl bla bla bla

_____________________________

if god and the adorer call, tell them my prophet shall call their prophet, for I am in meetings verily till the end of time.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 12

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/8/2006 10:38:23 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

i'd tell you, but i don't talk about it.

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 13

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/9/2006 12:15:56 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

i can see your point most of the problem is most people do not know how to cultivate a relationship on anylevel so they have to ask questions and post and grow. most things are by trial and error nomally at someone elses expense. but thats the way this lifestyle is all about me not we shrugs

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 14

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/9/2006 1:12:26 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

..but what are some of the things you would never talk about on here in regards to your relationship? I know there are areas for me I wont publish to the forum..things like..say I disagreed with Master over something and I was upset...I'd never ask for advice on here....thats something for Master and I to work out..I wouldnt invite people in to advise...I dont think Master would want me to either.

If you are already in an established D/s relationship where are your limits in regards to posting and what you post about?

If your not in a relationship at this time, where are your limits in regards to what you post?

I don't post about what I don't want to post about.

Texas Maam

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 15

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/9/2006 5:55:21 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
If you are already in an established D/s relationship where are your limits in regards to posting and what you post about?

If your not in a relationship at this time, where are your limits in regards to what you post?

There are a gazillion things I don't discuss publically, and in some ways it's a rational system and in some ways it's an arbitrary system. Pretty much "Whatever I feel is ok to share, I share, whatever I feel is private, stays private."

And my partners all know what that means.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 16

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/9/2006 6:24:38 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

mmmmmm some things you don't talk about....?

mmmmmmmm well If I told you then I am talking about them and if I talk about them then the answer no longer applies to your question..... SO....

Answer... Anything I haven't talked about! of course that doesn't mean I will not talk about it sometime in the future... things change you know *G*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 17

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/9/2006 6:35:44 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Relationships are an intimate thing between two..or in some peoples cases more than 2 people. I noticed there are tons of people on here who are actually in D/s Master/Mistress slave/submissive relationships,so it made me think...we are all participating in a forum, exchanging of ideas, putting out a problem or two, sharing experiences, asking questions..but what are some of the things you would never talk about on here in regards to your relationship? I know there are areas for me I wont publish to the forum..things like..say I disagreed with Master over something and I was upset...I'd never ask for advice on here....thats something for Master and I to work out..I wouldnt invite people in to advise...I dont think Master would want me to either.

If you are already in an established D/s relationship where are your limits in regards to posting and what you post about?

If your not in a relationship at this time, where are your limits in regards to what you post?

I'm not going to give you my address, my phone number or my SS#. I'm not going to give you the full names of my family members or any of our extended family members.

I'm not giving anyone a blow-by-blow account of my sex or scene life. You want to know about that, you get to know me as a friend and prove your trustworthyness. Odds are I actually still won't tell you cause I don't care for such details even from my closest friends.

I talk about my past and my childhood cause not doing so allows the abuse and the secrets to continue.

I talk about my scene experiences and philosophy so that my comments are grounded in some personal reality and not a vague generality that others think might apply to them or should apply to them.

I debated about a picture cause I want my thoughts to have more weight than my body or my looks. In the end I decided to include one cause I do give public readings and I do go to some BDSM events and folks might want to say "hi" or wave at me if they see me. I chose the picture I did cause I think I look happy in it (I was completely happy when the picture was taken) and who wants a pouty or frowny TammyJo?

Since I'm not in a closet though with my BDSM desires and roles I feel its important for me to be as honest and as much myself as I can.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 18

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/9/2006 6:43:09 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I hold My relationship very close to Me, it is a gift, as such, I keep many things private, out of respect for him and U/us--he has talked of revelations, those will never appear only in the context just mentioned--intimate times, pet names, My treatment of him, the intimacies of O/our dynamic.

I may ask about other relationships, styles, techniques---but I also mentor--so any assumptions are purely those--I am extremely private about My life in many areas--those are the things one will never see.

I may make references or talk of things in the past--I will never reveal intimate details of those, only references out of context--the boy knows I have been a Domme for a long time, but I don't need to share those experiences in detail in front of him here, they are things to be shared with U/us and are private to just that --My past and the past of others.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 3/9/2006 6:47:28 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 19

RE: Some things you dont talk about... - 3/9/2006 7:11:10 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

If you are already in an established D/s relationship where are your limits in regards to posting and what you post about?

If your not in a relationship at this time, where are your limits in regards to what you post?

There's plenty that I don't talk about, in fact the vast majority of what happens in my relationship I don't talk about openly.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Some things you dont talk about...

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109