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need advice from pain slaves - 3/9/2006 4:49:12 PM   
slavebeth22


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline 		I have wanted to be a pain slave for a long time. A few months ago I met a wonderful man who was willing and able to take the job on. I have been a pain slave for over 2 weeks now.

I am glad I did this. It is what I was made for. But the experience is much different to how I expected. I knew it would be hard, physically and metally. And it is very hard. But it is much more mentally tiring than I appreciated it would be.

Last night we wrote out a contract to detail our arrangement and to state my limits (not that I have many). He wanted to leave this for a couple of weeks to give me a chance to back out if I couldnt take it. But I am now dedicated to him and to this life for a year.

Thing is, I think there are different kinds of pain slave. The kind which is turned on by pain itself, the kind which enjoys the intense attention given to them by a torturer and gets turned on by seeing them turned on, and the kind which doesnt like pain, but gets turned on by the overwhelming sense of achievement of doing the unthinkable.

I used to think I was the first, but now I know I am the second and third.

Is there any other pain slaves who can add to this? Has anyone else had a realisation about their desire to be a pain slave, after they were in a masochistic relationship? I'd value the input of anyone else who knows about this first hand.

Elizabeth
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/9/2006 5:00:11 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Thing is, I think there are different kinds of pain slave. The kind which is turned on by pain itself, the kind which enjoys the intense attention given to them by a torturer and gets turned on by seeing them turned on, and the kind which doesnt like pain, but gets turned on by the overwhelming sense of achievement of doing the unthinkable.


Pain is in the eyes of the beholder...you have given three specific examples here. Which one applies to you or him? That, we don't know...so tell us.

In my opinion the worst pain dished out is emotional....there is no preperation for that.
Many are Masochist..beat me...beat me...beat me.

Sure, no problem!

This I too enjoy...but if I truly want to hurt you...I won't beat you, not if your a Masochist, that's to good for you.....I will do this for you?

Well, I was going to tell, but have since changed my mind, but it will hurt a hell of a lot more than physical pain.

Trust me!

Restraints and complaints...winks, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/9/2006 5:02:20 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I am not a painslave, but have some modicum of experience with such as they;

I think it is a natural outcropping of the notion of pain, and its ephameral draw. You go in thinking you are the first case, something about it draws you, but in the concrete as opposed to the fantastic, you find yourself in the second or third group invariably.

That is my opinion, for whatever that's worth. (not much, I assure you.)

I think this would be grand as a poll with the three choices listed and perhaps an other button.

Good Luck,

And remember, there is good news and bad news to this.

The good news is, that it only hurts until you pass out.
The bad news is..........well you work it out.............

LOL,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/9/2006 5:53:38 PM   
Merritt27


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		Elizabeth,

First...congratulations on finding someone you are compatible with! For me that was the hardest part :)

i would have to agree with you that there are different motivations for seeking out and/or enjoying pain. If you had asked me a year ago if i was a "pain slave", "pain slut" or "masochist".... i would have said "Hell NO". i was the girl with the ad that said i wasnt looking for a pain centered relationship. Fast forward a few months and introduce one sadistic yet extemely caring Dominant and you now have a girl that begs to be beaten. i do have a pretty high pain threshold, but for me it is the intensity that i crave more so than the physical pain. It is an amazing aphrodesiac for me to watch Daddy get turned on with every flick of the flogger or crop. For U/us everything goes full circle....a little pain can lead to being held for hours talking on the bed....or just the opposite, cuddling on the couch can lead to a seesion with the crop. Either way, the passion and intensity that fill the room is intoxicating.

Best of luck to you in your new relationship. Be happy and be safe!!!

_____________________________

Proud Partner to PlayfulOne

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/9/2006 7:46:56 PM   
slavebeth22


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline 		Hi amber

Oh yes, intensity. I have never felt anything like it. Thats whats so tiring, its just intense every day now. I hardly get time to calm down and take it all in. Such a mix of emotions, way more than I thought I'd have. I never thought I'd cry. But I bawled like a baby.

Talk about a rollercoaster :)

Elizabeth

(in reply to Merritt27)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/9/2006 10:19:12 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Last night we wrote out a contract to detail our arrangement and to state my limits (not that I have many). He wanted to leave this for a couple of weeks to give me a chance to back out if I couldnt take it. But I am now dedicated to him and to this life for a year.


From personal experience contracts change often as relationships grow and people grow. In my eyes, my limits are there for eather health reasons or because it is not something I can physically or emotionally do. Those things may change.

An example: I love vaginal fisting but anal fisting is a no. Why? Because physically it is impossible for me my ass hole simply can not accomidate and stretch to that point yet. Is that perminant. No, with time and patience and alot of lube that may change. *laughs*

I would also say to take it day by day. Be open and honest with your Dom about how things feel and what you can and can not take and why.

Remember be safe, sane and learn yourself and your Dominate.

Nika{Phoenix}
His Deviant Slave

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/9/2006 10:43:01 PM   
slavebeth22


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline 		Hi Nika

Comments on the contract understood. I appreciate its not really set in stone. But we wanted to have one. My limits are basic, no permanant scarring, marks or disfigurment. A loss of vaginal and anal elasticity is expected, but no permanant damage. Bruising, welts and temporary marks must be within the area limited by my neck, elbows and knees. Hes not allowed to cut my hair (head hair). And I have a part time job so must be available and fit for work when required.
Apart from that, He decides what happens, where, when and for how long. As long as its within the contracted limits. This includes many things I cannot do and indeed dont want to do. Like anal fisting. In fact I have already done things I would never have done otherwise. But I believe thats all part of serving as a slave. I have complete trust in Him. And want him to do what pleases him. I gain a great deal of satisfaction from doing that. I'm sure there are others reading who believe the same.

Peace
Elizabeth

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 12:37:32 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I dont know whether I would call myself a pain slave, but i do enjoy very intense sensations....my experience of this can differ in the beginning, depending on my headspace at the time, the atmosphere around me, whether it starts fast or slowly. In the end it all turns out the same.

I never see pain as punishment, I cant get my head around that idea, I guess cuz Ive experience so much pleasure from it, I just cant associate intense sensation with punishment. Saying that, in particular circumstances, intense sensation can focus me, if I'm all over the place, still wouldnt call that punishment, in that case its just an aide to.......remember my place perhaps.

Other times, I see submitting to intense sensation as a means of surrender to Master in a very obvious physical way...in this space....I really need to feel that Master is just using me for his very own pleasure..no sense that he even cares about me...sorry if that sounds bad.

Other times, its as though my body craves the intense interaction and connection that Master being the inflictor brings. Its like a union or something and an intense desire goes along with that mood.

So, as I said, depending on my head space and the atmosphere around me at the time, is how it all begins from my experiential perspective...yet in the end, it all leads to the same place.


Addition: i have been in spaces where I just couldnt get enough, Ive got no idea what brings on that space, its as though, im like an empty vessel or something and I need to be filled and this intense sensation touches me in a really deep place.....I would have no consciousness about stopping, or desire to stop...usually when it stops in this kinda space I get really thrown into intense......................I dont know the word......its a pretty horrible place yet amazing place yet horrible. Its like I'm so open, yet not receiving suddenly...and I will go through crazy emotions and thoughts. I dont know what it is that I think I need at that time.....I really dont know..but I'm in need, such desperate need..and when it stops...its like I'm thrown into........hell.


Ive edited this 3 times adding stuff lol

< Message edited by slavejali -- 3/10/2006 12:44:34 AM >

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 3:51:28 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Hmmm

Given the choices A B or C...

I will have to say almost a total B, with a lil C thrown in for flavor.

But then again...I *can* find certain pains yummy at the right time.

Some pain I will NEVER like, not even for the reaction. (it just hurts too dang much! And yah...I KNOW that's the point, so?...)

*lol*

I try not to analyze it to much. Just enjoy it. It is what it is. (profound, huh?!!)

(in reply to slavejali)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 4:30:20 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I enjoy pain to please my Master, being a slave i am meant to give him pleasure

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 5:45:33 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well even though i am not into pain, and i was lucky to find a wonderful Master who is not into it either. I congralate you in finding what it is you are some people never find that. Best of luck.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 6:11:50 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		What's the difference for you between a "pain slave" and a masochist?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 8:34:49 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
In my opinion it's simply the label.
Tamatoe Tamotoe

Nika{Phoenix}


_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 11:25:47 AM   
slavebeth22


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline 		....I really need to feel that Master is just using me for his very own pleasure..no sense that he even cares about me...sorry if that sounds bad.

That doesnt sound bad at all jali. Thats exactly right. For me anyway. If I felt he was doing what he does for me, it wouldnt be right. I do it for him and totally for him.

Elizabeth

(in reply to slavejali)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 11:33:22 AM   
slavebeth22


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What's the difference for you between a "pain slave" and a masochist?


Thats a good question. I guess a lot of that is down to how individuals interperate different phrases, but to me....

a masochist is someone who enjoys pain. This may or may not be as part of a dom/sub arrangement.

a pain slave is someone who may or may not enjoy pain but willingly accepts pain as part of submission.

Which brings me back to the subject of my first post. I thought I was a masochist. I now know I am not, but I am a pain slave.

Elizabeth

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 11:41:51 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavebeth22
Which brings me back to the subject of my first post. I thought I was a masochist. I now know I am not, but I am a pain slave.

Elizabeth

So you only submit to pain? If someone wanted to hurt you, it wouldn't matter whether they were a slave or top or switch or vanilla, just that they are a sadist?

You don't submit by accepting the authority of someone else in other areas of your life? I'm just trying to see your perspective in things. What I'm getting here is that you want to be hurt, plain and simple, and that you get pleasure from knowing they are getting a sadistic thrill from hurting you.

You must realize that you do it for your own pleasure as well- just not your direct and immediate pleasure. It's perfectly fine to want to be hurt like that and it's perfectly fine to want the sadist to not care.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 12:32:16 PM   
slavebeth22


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline 		I am finding difficulty finding the exact words to describe how I am feeling. I have never spoken openly about it before. I'm new to this message board :)
I dont submit just to pain. I submit to my Master. Only one. I am submissive to him in all ways. But sadism is a major part of our relationship. If not the major part.
I do know I do this for my pleasure too. But I have learned a lot about myself in the last few weeks. I had suffered pain before, but not until now had I suffered it so frequently and for such long periods. I now know I dont enjoy the actual pain. I hate it intensly. I do enjoy the spectacle of his enjoyment, his focus, his attention to detail, his attention to me, how careful he can be with me. I dread it before it happens. So much I tremble, cant eat and feel sick. But I am excited too. Afterwards I am elated. No words could describe how I feel then. I have never taken drugs, but I can imagine they give that sort of "high".
Yes, i know I enjoy it too :) I hope this makes sense to someone.

Elizabeth

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 12:39:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavebeth22
Afterwards I am elated. No words could describe how I feel then. I have never taken drugs, but I can imagine they give that sort of "high".
Yes, i know I enjoy it too :) I hope this makes sense to someone.

Elizabeth

So what's the difference between "slave" and "pain slave"?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 12:47:27 PM   
slavebeth22


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline 		A slave is a slave, with or without pain. And a pain slave is definitly with.
I dont know, I'm new to this board, I may be using the wrong terms. I know what I am even if I cant describe it accurately :)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: need advice from pain slaves - 3/10/2006 4:40:39 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I find your term 'pain slave' a bit confusing because it is not clear whether you are a slave to pain or a slave to your sadistic Master/Mistress. In reality, it doesn't matter what you call it, as long as you both enjoy what's happening.
Now, to address your fatigue. An extended intense pain session can be very draining emotionally and physically. Your mind as well as your body needs time to rest in between. You will build up stamina, but perhaps it would be a good idea to be given a few days break between sessions for awhile. If that isn't feasible, maybe an intense session one day and a lighter session the next. I sometimes take a 20 minute nap after a particularly intense session, its very refreshing. It is also important to keep yourself well hydrated before, during and after. My Dom has a water bottle handy and offers me drinks of water from time to time. Light snacks such as slices of fruit, cheese etc. also keep my energy up.

(in reply to slavebeth22)
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