RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 10:14:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

what's so sad is i don't even know where to go to get tested if i decided to right this second, i would have to inquire from somewhere, i wonder how many other people are like that and if that isn't one of the factors in how many do get tested. 

i figure i've got a semi decent excuse for never finding out since i've abstained, but it probably would be nice to simply have efforts increased in making people aware, i wonder if it's covered in sex ed classes, i never took any but it was never mentioned in health or anywhere else to me growing up. 

in that regard, there's no way of me knowing whether the pap thing was to pull the curtain over my already ignorant eyes, or if she believed that a pap test was indeed all she needed.  i'm not sure how well the procedure is explained to them when get them and what they're for and what they find out from it, so it could be highly unlikely she would be under that impression, but i'm so called "blissfully ignorant" in those regards, so i'm not sure i could blame her anymore than myself.


Google?

Akasha




CarrieO -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 10:20:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

what's so sad is i don't even know where to go to get tested if i decided to right this second, i would have to inquire from somewhere, i wonder how many other people are like that and if that isn't one of the factors in how many do get tested. 



Planned Parenthood...not just for women and you can check the CDC website, they have a number you can call that offers referrals to STD clinics.




Drifa -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 10:28:50 AM)

My Lady and I had full screenings at the same time and exchanged the results. We used safer sex procedures until the results were back and confirmed. It's rare that she allows me to play with others, but if she does she absolutely requires gloves, condoms and/or dental dams as required by the situation and activities.

We both get regular checkups with our normal physician, and we always request the STD screening as a part of that.

It's crazy to not take these minimal precautions.




hopelesslyInvo -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 11:20:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

what's so sad is i don't even know where to go to get tested if i decided to right this second, i would have to inquire from somewhere, i wonder how many other people are like that and if that isn't one of the factors in how many do get tested. 

i figure i've got a semi decent excuse for never finding out since i've abstained, but it probably would be nice to simply have efforts increased in making people aware, i wonder if it's covered in sex ed classes, i never took any but it was never mentioned in health or anywhere else to me growing up. 

in that regard, there's no way of me knowing whether the pap thing was to pull the curtain over my already ignorant eyes, or if she believed that a pap test was indeed all she needed.  i'm not sure how well the procedure is explained to them when get them and what they're for and what they find out from it, so it could be highly unlikely she would be under that impression, but i'm so called "blissfully ignorant" in those regards, so i'm not sure i could blame her anymore than myself.


Google?

Akasha



that's my point, whether from a friend, a relative, or some other source of information be it google or anything else, i would have to inquire and find out from somewhere on my own from my own desires, because i did not already know it and it has never even been attempted to make me aware of it. 

if people were made aware; school, advertisements, having a dad more responsible than mine... i wonder how much effect it would have for people to know exactly where to go, what it would cost, how long it would take, how much trouble it is, how soon you get results etc.  would people, of either gender not be likely to show more responsibility in this issue?

such as CarrieO mentioned, i would have expected planned parenthood to laugh at me if i went in there, i've always been under the impression they were for women wanting birth control and whatnot~

if i knew that the place 7 minutes from my house was for more than just women getting pills and shots, well... who knows?  there's of course always the chance i'm the only one who didn't know that they did more than just birth control, but it's more likely that i'm not alone. 

and while people can always "google" to find out things if the need arises, imagine the difference if they were taught that rather than expected to find out of their own accord, especially when it's not something most people have a jolly interest in finding out the answers to.  that's pretty much the entire problem with sex, impulses and decision making.  when it comes to sexual things, thinking rationally goes on a decline in favor of acting on desire alone.

but the point isn't that people don't have the tools to make themselves aware if they choose to, the point is if people were made aware, if they learned it in school, if they were seeing commercials on how/where to get tested rather than just commercials that say "you gots the herpes? well call toll free, take our pills, and talk to your doctor if you experience bleeding from the eye", i'm sure it would help to some degree, probably a very consequential amount.

the question of the thread being how many actually do get tested, i'd imagine the issue of how many know how is going to factor in pretty heavily. 

google can answer a lot of things, people can always find them out in some form or fashion, but...

if i asked how many people actually calibrate their television correctly to produce accurate gamma displays, and have the appropriate connections between devices and services to maximize its capabilities, i'd image that despite people technically being able to go on google and finding out, or asking someone they think would know, reading a 300 page manual, or calling the people who sold it to them and will connect them to someone who doesn't know their language after holding for 30 minutes...

well, i'd bet money that a lot of people would say "i don't even know, i was never aware, i just plugged the damn thing in".  much like the answer to the question, do you have any diseases?  a lot of guys would say (if they were honest) "i don't even know, i'm not aware, i just plugged the damn thing in".

in both cases, a considerable factor in that would surely be how well they were informed of the facts and their options. 

sure this doesn't shirk anyone of responsibility or blame, but in the interest of us, anyone else, or society as a whole wanting the statistics to shift, there's plenty i'm sure that could be done, and helping to make people aware is no exception.




AAkasha -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 12:40:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

well, i'd bet money that a lot of people would say "i don't even know, i was never aware, i just plugged the damn thing in".  much like the answer to the question, do you have any diseases?  a lot of guys would say (if they were honest) "i don't even know, i'm not aware, i just plugged the damn thing in".

in both cases, a considerable factor in that would surely be how well they were informed of the facts and their options. 

sure this doesn't shirk anyone of responsibility or blame, but in the interest of us, anyone else, or society as a whole wanting the statistics to shift, there's plenty i'm sure that could be done, and helping to make people aware is no exception.


I think it will vary widely depending on personal circumstances.  Every gyno doc I have had reviews sexual risks and asks about protection and testing. For those that don't go to doctors, they hopefully are hearing about it at school or from peers. The point is, youth now can just go home and privately Google if they have questions.  Before the Internet, it was MUCH more difficult.  Yellow pages?  Look under what?  Call Planned Parenthood?  Ask your parents if you can see a doctor?  Now you can Google and find out anything you ever want to know but you have to filter based on sources.  I'm sure in 20 minutes you could find out where, how much it costs, what has to be done, and read hundreds of first hand experiences from people who have gotten tested, including how to ask your partner tactfully, whatever. 

If someone doesn't know what an STD is and doesn't have access to the Internet it's a different issue entirely. In my social circle I see the teens and college kids as being pretty savvy when it comes to using the Net to find anything, and safe sex/condoms/whatever are preached enough as a talking point that while some may scoff at it, I'd imagine many are doing their own research.  This just was not possible 20 years ago.

Akasha




DemonKia -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 2:17:37 PM)

FR, after read thru

First, to be clear, I advocate a combined approach of testing & safer sex techniques, both, particularly for the non-monogamous & the younger adults . . . .

I feel the need to clarify where I stand cuz I gotta add some nuance to a reliance solely, or even heavily, on testing. Here, straight from the Centers for Disease Control website:

Currently, there is no test designed or approved to find HPV in men. The only approved HPV test on the market is for women, for use as part of cervical cancer screening. There is no general test for men or women to check one's overall 'HPV status'. But HPV usually goes away on its own, without causing health problems. So an HPV infection that is found today will most likely not be there a year or two from now.

REMEMBER: HPV is very common in men and women. Most men with HPV will never develop health problems from it. Finding out if you have HPV is not as important as finding out if you have the diseases that it can cause. Scientists are still studying how best to screen for penile and anal cancers in men who may be at highest risk for those diseases...


& that's just for human papillomavirus, the cause of venereal warts. &, cuz this is biology & biology quickly gets complicated when examined with any depth, there are actually a number of strains of HPV, some of which are responsible for the overwhelming majority of adverse outcomes . .. .

There's something on the order of a score or so of pathogens that arguably qualify as sexually-transmitted infections (STIs), some of which are relatively rare in temperate climes & more an issue in the tropics. & each pathogen generally has varieties of strains, & the pathogens include varieties of bacteria (gonorhea, syphilis, chlamydia, etc), viruses (HIV, HPV, herpes, etc), bugs (scabies, pubic & head lice, bed bugs, etc), & additional (ex: intestinal parasites can become STIs under the right conditions) . . . . . How about fungal infections? Athletes foot, crotch rot, & etc?

& then there's error rates (false negative & false positives) of different tests, compounded all together, over populations . ... Thus the necessity for the non-monogamous to engage in regular testing, based primarily around their perception of risk & or acquisition of new sexual partners . . . . . .

& then I like to recommend a perusal of men-seeking-men ads on Craigslist (near or far) & a noting of all the 'straight-looking, straight-acting guys looking for surreptitious action on the side, who admit to having girlfriends or wives', as just an example of the stealth promiscuity & bisexuality (both complicating factors) about . .. .

Stiff clits & dicks can have no conscience . . . . . Sadly, cynically, all too true . . . . But don't just rely on those test results . . . . . Especially if one of one's goals is to participate in the eradication of such diseases; we got rid of small pox, I see no reason that many infectious agents can't be radically minimized, at the barest least possibility . . . . . . . & that's coming from a bit of a germophobe with a decent ability to allow for pessimism . . ..

[;)]




hopelesslyInvo -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 2:20:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I think it will vary widely depending on personal circumstances.  Every gyno doc I have had reviews sexual risks and asks about protection and testing. For those that don't go to doctors, they hopefully are hearing about it at school or from peers. The point is, youth now can just go home and privately Google if they have questions.  Before the Internet, it was MUCH more difficult.  Yellow pages?  Look under what?  Call Planned Parenthood?  Ask your parents if you can see a doctor?  Now you can Google and find out anything you ever want to know but you have to filter based on sources.  I'm sure in 20 minutes you could find out where, how much it costs, what has to be done, and read hundreds of first hand experiences from people who have gotten tested, including how to ask your partner tactfully, whatever. 

If someone doesn't know what an STD is and doesn't have access to the Internet it's a different issue entirely. In my social circle I see the teens and college kids as being pretty savvy when it comes to using the Net to find anything, and safe sex/condoms/whatever are preached enough as a talking point that while some may scoff at it, I'd imagine many are doing their own research.  This just was not possible 20 years ago.

Akasha



i think the problem is, despite how accessible the answers are for people, there isn't enough prompting them to ever ask the questions.

my case may be a little different than most, but no matter how much people probably know in the back of their head that they should be doing things, most people show us that they're often quite content living their lives in reckless disregard for themselves or others.  coupled with the amount of double standards a lot of others live by, and people who can't follow their own advice, there's a lot of situations that seem "hopeless" in addressing, but i feel like this isn't one of them.

what i'm trying to say is, while i've never been inclined to go hunt down the answers about getting tested for std's since it has (as of yet at least) to be a real concern for me, and regardless of how i feel about me or my partner being tested prior or during a relationship, the realization that i had no idea going into this of where to go to do so, or of what 'test' to trust worried/worries me.  even if i knew where to go get tested myself and did, i'm fairly certain that i would have bought into her waving a pap test paper in my face, and i would have no reason to disbelieve it, i mean after all i know part of what that test includes, and it's about as "involved" as a test can be in that area.  even knowing what i know now, i certainly don't want to play junior detective for every facet of my life and spend hours on google each day cross examining everything someone says or does.

there's a lot of things people know, i mean just know, and they know it because it was decided that people need to know it.  for example, we know mc donalds is a safe place, and that if mr. rapist in the van offers me candy, i can run into mcdonalds or any other establishment with that yellow sticker on the window and get help.  i know not to take the candy from mr. rapist stranger in the van that i don't know in the first place, or to even approach, and that what i should do is to get away and find help.  i know how to dial 911 if there's a burglar in my home, i know poison control, i know stop drop and roll, and we all know and have these things firmly embedded in our brain.  so how does something like this not exist in what i would think of as needing to be common knowledge.  how many of us have ever been raped?  nevermind...  how many of us have ever caught on fire, had to call 911, had to give cpr or the heimlich, or hold someone screaming and incoherent under cool running tap water while holding their eyelids open?  even if it's more than i expect, compare it to how many of us, or anyone else engage in sexual relations.  that's what i'm getting at, and 'maybe' that's already taken care of for the future generations by way of sex ed classes that didn't exist for me when i was in school, but really, how do people go through life not knowing something that has nearly a 100% chance to affect them, yet we know a ton of things that are less that have a less than 1% chance to occur.

and of course stds and protection are common knowledge, but it's also common knowledge that nothing is 100% effective in preventing transmitting them, and that you don't have to actually have sex to get many of them. 

at this point i think i'm going to freak out my immediate family and friends because i want to ask them where i can go to get tested for stds, just to see if they even know, i might even bring up that it needs to be a place that does bloodwork since testing for aids can't be done with just a urine sample and such.

anyway, i guess i may just not have a way to explain it. 

no matter how long i've sought sexual relationships, or been on these very forums talking many times and in agreement over of the importance of being tested, or how much i know about cures, treatments, symptoms, and spreading of stds themselves; the sudden discovery that i'm approaching 27 and didn't know how or where to actually get tested for them without hunting down an answer... well, it really just strikes me as there being something wrong about that, and not just on my part. 

i dunno... i know if i ask the question and look for the answers i will be able to find them; i just really feel this is among one of those things no one should even have to ask, you should just know, you should be made aware. 




azjojoba -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 2:24:45 PM)

So what kind of tests do you think should be done? There are other questions like for instance are these tests free, anonymous etc.

A blood test is good, but I don't know how many other diseases need to be detected by other tests. From what I have seen, fairly complete testing will cost about $300. That's a lot of money.

If you want your sub to get a test, you should provide guidance where he/she should go. Depending on finances perhaps you should help, especially if you demand all the major tests.




BKSir -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 2:46:37 PM)

The full work up can cost a good deal of money if you go to a doctor, or clinic.  However, we have, like most cities above 30,000 people, organizations such as the Utah Aids Foundation (the one here locally) that you can go to and get tested for free or very very inexpensive.  Obviously the UAF tests for Aids, and that test is free.  They test for the others as well, Syphilis and Gonorrhea as well, for a minimal fee, I think like $50.  Herpes is a bit more difficult to test for, since they actually, to get a valid test, need to test a sore, so they don't do that one.

As far as education goes, there is, as someone pointed out, a plethora of information on the web.  Unfortunately, it's the internet, so be careful where you get the information from.  Make sure it's a reliable source.  Or, you can go to your local hospital, clinic, etc, and just ask them if they have some information on the different stds, testing and safer sex practices.

Also, keep an eye out for independent classes going on.  Our household works with the UAF here, and at least once a year hosts a dinner-class for people, often getting a turnout of around 15-20 people.  I cook the food and provide the house, they come in and teach a class for about an hour and a half or so on safer sex, hand out condoms/dental dams/etc, and people leave happy, educated and full.

EDIT:  To add.
Virgin or no, before my secondary partner and I did anything (he was a virgin at the time) we still went to get tested together.  As I said before, accidents do happen and sometimes we just don't know.  Again, it would have been astonishing if he did have something, but, better to be safe than sorry.  And really, what did it cost us aside from a whole hour out of our day and a few dollars?  Certainty and peace of mind are most definitely worth that little of a price to me.  I wanted to make sure he was clean, and wanted him to be assured that I was as well.

If you're scared of needles, don't worry on the HIV test, most places use the mouth swabs now, which are surprisingly more accurate than blood work.  And any of the incorrect results they've gotten have been incorrect positives.  There's yet to be an incorrect negative.  I'd rather it falsely come back positive, scare the hell out of me and I have to retest a couple times, instead of it coming back false negative and very bad things happen.




LadyPact -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 4:46:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

So what kind of tests do you think should be done? There are other questions like for instance are these tests free, anonymous etc.

A blood test is good, but I don't know how many other diseases need to be detected by other tests. From what I have seen, fairly complete testing will cost about $300. That's a lot of money.

If you want your sub to get a test, you should provide guidance where he/she should go. Depending on finances perhaps you should help, especially if you demand all the major tests.



In My case, I get over on this one.  Due to My boy's profession, I don't have to pay anything for his testing.  Also, he's more knowledgeable on the subject  than I am because of the same.  Any person, regardless of role, has a responsibility to know their own health status before becoming involved with another human being. 

If you are covered by medical insurance, the cost isn't going to be as high as $300.00.  You'll pay the same co-pay as any other type of blood panel.  If not covered by health insurance, you can get the same tests done at county public health in the US.  I have to admit that I am not aware of what agency is the best recommendation for our friends across the pond. 

Even if I had to pay a whole $300.00, that's certainly worth it to Me in having Myself tested if I'm going to have a new partner in My life.  I don't just have Me to be concerned about.  I have the males that are already in My life and any potential partners that I may have over the course of My life to think about.  In My opinion, they are worth it.






Hierodule -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 5:01:09 PM)

If you are low income and female in IL you can get this thing called "the pink card" through planned parenthood or the state health dept.'s website. It entitles you to free family planning services, annual exams, and STD tests. If you are outside of IL a good place to start is PP. They will know about state programs and they also offer sliding scale rates most of the time. There are also free clinics. You might have to wait in line but you will get tested. STD tests are one health service that you can usually obtain for little or no cost. 




angelikaJ -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 5:32:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

what's so sad is i don't even know where to go to get tested if i decided to right this second, i would have to inquire from somewhere, i wonder how many other people are like that and if that isn't one of the factors in how many do get tested. 





Looking up that sort of information is a necessary part of being responsible for oneself.
You would have to look up the location and directions anyway, so not having the information handed to you or already having information at your fingertips really is not an excuse for choosing to not take the 60 seconds or so it takes to look something up.

And you could start with this:
http://yourstdhelp.com/indiana.html 

edit clarity




hopelesslyInvo -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 7:14:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Looking up that sort of information is a necessary part of being responsible for oneself.
You would have to look up the location and directions anyway, so not having the information handed to you or already having information at your fingertips really is not an excuse for choosing to not take the 60 seconds or so it takes to look something up.

And you could start with this:
http://yourstdhelp.com/indiana.html 

edit clarity


well, as i've said in earlier and later posts, my situation is a little different not just on account of my ignorance, as i've not been running around on rampant sexual escapades, hence never having a reason to need to find it out on my own~ 

but more importantly, the point again here is not "i don't know how to find out" the point is "how did i not already know this".

if it's coming to the point of me realizing that i'm the only one here thinking it's worrisome that people (at least me/my class/my whatever) aren't taught that planned parenthood can run the tests to check for stds, (which is a well known place for nearly everyone, and even for me doesn't require looking up) at the time when they tell us about the government philosophies of how to practice safe sex, and recommend to us that we (read "the girls") go to planned parenthood (the same place!) for forms of birth control etc... well, i can accept that; but i think given the situation, i've been "responsible for oneself" more than enough to not be considered making excuses for anything of this nature.

i don't go around google'ing where to find the nearest place to get help for alcohol abuse either, but drinking, much like sex is yet another activity i don't currently partake in so...

i couldn't blame your thoughts going in the direction they headed if you just skimmed the thread and stopped on that one particular post of course; mine would too. 

the point isn't anything to do with my capability to find out by one means or another, as i said in the line you quoted "i would have to inquire" alluding to my ability to do so just as anyone else, but why do i need to inquire this?  i mean, if i had a son/daughter/student/whatever, this sort of thing would definitely be in the list of things i think i should be telling them at a certain time in their life, and i'm not going to say "ah hell, he/she can just go google it any other questions or something" and leave them to it. 

as simply as i can say it, i think it's sad that i've made it out of highschool and college and never was it so much as mentioned by anyone, no one that worked at the school, no one that visited the school, and not surprisingly not a word from dear old dad whose philosophy on women and how i should live my life to the fullest is to get a vasectomy and go screw every bitch i can.  i may as well be expecting snakes to recommend good fruit to add to my diet.

anyway the link is helpful, and i might bookmark it for later when such a thing becomes pertinent for me, but until then i'll continue questioning why i didn't hear 10 years ago the very simple things i've read in this thread today.  i mean, if they're going to tell us "sex is worth waiting for, and you are worth waiting for, but if you decide not to wait, make sure to use a condom", why not throw in "oh by the way, if you do happen to be a screw up and just go sleeping with everyone that'll let you, you can go get tested to find out what presents they've left you in the building next to papa johns". 




MaamJay -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 7:27:42 PM)

Getting back to the OP, yes I do check and I use safe sex measures. Master and I both got tested and exchanged results before we met and got together the first time, but even then used safe sex measures as it was soon after the first test and HIV can take time to show up. However after a second negative, we became fluid bonded.

Being a virgin is no reason not to test, the person could be a drug user and therefore be carrying any number of diseases that can be transmitted. Getting tested isn't that hard and is worth the money.

It was interesting that when I went to get tested (at the clinic at the Uni where I worked) I got very positive feedback along the lines of "I wish everyone who was taking on a new partner did this!" whereas Master copped negativity from His GP (not someone He thought highly of, hard to find a good one in a smaller town!), along the lines of "You shouldn't be doing this unless you are marrying them". So for them, the moral issue of marriage was more important than health, NOT a particularly enlightened stance for a doctor IMO. But at least the test got done!

More casual encounters are either not sexual, or limited sexual contact and using safe sex practices. However, if there was a prospect of wanting to become more sexual with someone, then off we go for a test. Simple as that.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]




AAkasha -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 7:29:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Looking up that sort of information is a necessary part of being responsible for oneself.
You would have to look up the location and directions anyway, so not having the information handed to you or already having information at your fingertips really is not an excuse for choosing to not take the 60 seconds or so it takes to look something up.

And you could start with this:
http://yourstdhelp.com/indiana.html 

edit clarity


well, as i've said in earlier and later posts, my situation is a little different not just on account of my ignorance, as i've not been running around on rampant sexual escapades, hence never having a reason to need to find it out on my own~ 

but more importantly, the point again here is not "i don't know how to find out" the point is "how did i not already know this".

if it's coming to the point of me realizing that i'm the only one here thinking it's worrisome that people (at least me/my class/my whatever) aren't taught that planned parenthood can run the tests to check for stds, (which is well known to nearly everyone and even for me doesn't require looking up) when they do tell us the government philosophies about practicing safe sex, and recommend planned parenthood for forms of birth control etc... well, i can accept that; but i think given the situation, i've been "responsible for oneself" more than enough to not be considered making excuses for anything. 

i don't go around google'ing where to find the nearest place to get help for alcohol abuse either, but drinking is yet another thing i don't do so...

i couldn't blame your thoughts going in the direction they headed if you just skimmed the thread and stopped on that post of course; mine would too. 

the point isn't anything to do with my capability to find out by one way or another, as i said in the line you quoted "i would have to inquire" and i am of course as capable as anyone else, but why do i need to inquire this?  i mean, if i had a son/daughter/student/whatever, this would definitely be in the list of things i think i should be telling them when i make them aware of other things, and i'm not going to say "ah hell, he can just go google it or something" and leave them to it.  as simply as i can say it, i think it's sad that i've made it out of college and never was it so much as mentioned.

anyway the link is helpful, and i might bookmark it for later when such a thing becomes pertinent for me, but until then i'll continue questioning why i didn't hear 10 years ago the very simple things i've read in this thread today.  i mean, if they're going to tell us "sex is worth waiting for, and you are worth waiting for, but if you decide not to wait, make sure to use a condom", why not throw in "oh by the way, if you do happen to be a screw up and just go sleeping with everyone that'll let you, you can go get tested to find out what presents they've left you in the building next to papa johns". 

it's so simple but so important, how did they leave that out?



I think it's pretty rare and incredibly sheletered for someone to get to the point of sexual exploration and not have any idea that there is something called "safe sex" enough that they would Google it to find  out more.   It's also something your partner would hopefully bring up if you did not. It happens when you also have the other necessary talk: who's using birth control?  Birth control and safe sex go hand in hand in many talks. With the exception of the extremely sheltered and/or kids way too young to know better, I don't think there's any lack of available information or resources for someone who wants information.

I am not sure what your relationship experience is.  But even for those that are virgins by choice, that doesn't mean they aren't sexually experimenting, and during those times of growing intimacy there are needs for discussions about what comes next and what the plan is.  Even people who make a choice to not have sex still have a lot of forms of safe intimacy, sometimes even shared orgasms.  The challenge is that once you open pandoras box it's easy to want to do more in the heat of the moment.

Presumably when you are going through the stages of physical intimacy or even manual orgasms, some discussion about birth control is the next indicated step.   Right?
Akasha




InvisibleBlack -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 7:39:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think it's important that we think about such precautions.  What do you think?



Trust, but verify.




azjojoba -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 7:54:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In My case, I get over on this one.  Due to My boy's profession, I don't have to pay anything for his testing.  Also, he's more knowledgeable on the subject  than I am because of the same.  Any person, regardless of role, has a responsibility to know their own health status before becoming involved with another human being. 

If you are covered by medical insurance, the cost isn't going to be as high as $300.00.  You'll pay the same co-pay as any other type of blood panel.  If not covered by health insurance, you can get the same tests done at county public health in the US.  I have to admit that I am not aware of what agency is the best recommendation for our friends across the pond. 

Even if I had to pay a whole $300.00, that's certainly worth it to Me in having Myself tested if I'm going to have a new partner in My life.  I don't just have Me to be concerned about.  I have the males that are already in My life and any potential partners that I may have over the course of My life to think about.  In My opinion, they are worth it.



There are a range is issues with STD testing that make things tougher than it should be.

First there is the matter of keeping the test anonymous and private. Using insurance will obviate any of that. Even using most doctors won't work because you will have to present ID. I would hate to have on my medical record I got tested for STDs, especially if the result was positive! It might be a problem even if the tests were negative -- like for instance what if a a company you were applying for work checked your record? Privacy on things like this are much more important than people understand.

Of course cost is a factor also, and I suppose that it goes up as you test for more STDs.

Perhaps in some states it's not that difficult, but so far I have yet to find decent information about where to go in my state.  Free HIV tests are available but not much else.

Just try googling on STD test with your state and see how much junk there is.

I'm not making excuses, I'm just stating some of the problems. It would not bother me if a potential mistress or adult play partner wanted me to be tested as long as she was reasonable about it. There are plenty of ways we could play safely until the results were in.




LadyPact -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/9/2009 8:53:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In My case, I get over on this one.  Due to My boy's profession, I don't have to pay anything for his testing.  Also, he's more knowledgeable on the subject  than I am because of the same.  Any person, regardless of role, has a responsibility to know their own health status before becoming involved with another human being. 

If you are covered by medical insurance, the cost isn't going to be as high as $300.00.  You'll pay the same co-pay as any other type of blood panel.  If not covered by health insurance, you can get the same tests done at county public health in the US.  I have to admit that I am not aware of what agency is the best recommendation for our friends across the pond. 

Even if I had to pay a whole $300.00, that's certainly worth it to Me in having Myself tested if I'm going to have a new partner in My life.  I don't just have Me to be concerned about.  I have the males that are already in My life and any potential partners that I may have over the course of My life to think about.  In My opinion, they are worth it.



There are a range is issues with STD testing that make things tougher than it should be.

First there is the matter of keeping the test anonymous and private. Using insurance will obviate any of that. Even using most doctors won't work because you will have to present ID. I would hate to have on my medical record I got tested for STDs, especially if the result was positive! It might be a problem even if the tests were negative -- like for instance what if a a company you were applying for work checked your record? Privacy on things like this are much more important than people understand.

Of course cost is a factor also, and I suppose that it goes up as you test for more STDs.

Perhaps in some states it's not that difficult, but so far I have yet to find decent information about where to go in my state.  Free HIV tests are available but not much else.

Just try googling on STD test with your state and see how much junk there is.

I'm not making excuses, I'm just stating some of the problems. It would not bother me if a potential mistress or adult play partner wanted me to be tested as long as she was reasonable about it. There are plenty of ways we could play safely until the results were in.



The potential employer thing isn't valid.  No human resource department has the kind of authority to access your medical records, including any tests that you have had performed.  Not only is a potential or current employer not permitted to seek out that information, it's against the law for any medical facility to provide it.  One of the few exceptions to this is being a member of the US military.  Let's cut that kind of noise, since I think we're both pretty aware who you'd be worried about.

In fact, I did google this when I was writing My prior reply.  I found seven locations that offer STD testing that were local to Me.  Two were under county health, two that were private practitioners, and three for planned parenthood.  The mini map was the sixth listing on the page.  The first listing on the page was CA STD Testing, which states there are over 3500 centers in the state of CA offering
STD tests in one visit: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, Herpes 1/2, Syphilis, and HIV.  It took Me less than 30 seconds to get that information, which is less time that it takes Me to log onto CM.

As for not wanting a test on your medical record, I think that takes a backseat to a number of other things.  Would you not want to know if you were infected?  What about the other people you could possibly infect?  Are you aware of the way bloodborn pathogens are spread?  If it would make you feel bad to have a positive test on your medical record, how would you feel about it being on someone else's medical record that wasn't prevented because you didn't want to be embarrassed?




PhoenixRed -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/10/2009 12:16:42 AM)

Fast reply

Absolutely I insist on safe sex practices and testing. Because of my profession, I have gotten a Hep B vaccine, as well as many others, and had an HIV screening every year, no questions asked. I have also aways had them do a full STD screening with my annual health exam....it doesn't cost any more to have it than not (it's all the same $20 copay with my medical insurance).

Around this area, we also have a wonderful event for free testing. In June of every year, the Gay Pride festival does free testing for most of the major STDs, Hepatitis C and HIV. They take blood and urine samples. And it's all anonymous and confidential. 2 weeks after the testing, you can go down to the county health office and pick up a printout of all of the results, so you can have your "papers" to show anyone who asks, and prove you're squeaky clean. Our entire poly clan gets tested together every year, and I took my sub with us this year. We make it a family outing, and have a lot of fun at the festival to boot! I'm sure Kansas can't be the only state that has this kind of thing. Might be worth looking in to it.





VAcontroldom -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/10/2009 12:38:24 AM)

Donating blood is a great well to help others, and for those concerned about the cost of testing, they test your blood and you not only aren't charged but you get a thank you at the end (and a valid donor card for proof for potential partners)




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