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hopelesslyInvo -> RE: How Many Of You Really Check? (11/10/2009 2:08:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
quote:
ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo
quote:
ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
Looking up that sort of information is a necessary part of being responsible for oneself.
You would have to look up the location and directions anyway, so not having the information handed to you or already having information at your fingertips really is not an excuse for choosing to not take the 60 seconds or so it takes to look something up.
And you could start with this:
http://yourstdhelp.com/indiana.html
edit clarity
well, as i've said in earlier and later posts, my situation is a little different not just on account of my ignorance, as i've not been running around on rampant sexual escapades, hence never having a reason to need to find it out on my own~
but more importantly, the point again here is not "i don't know how to find out" the point is "how did i not already know this".
if it's coming to the point of me realizing that i'm the only one here thinking it's worrisome that people (at least me/my class/my whatever) aren't taught that planned parenthood can run the tests to check for stds, (which is well known to nearly everyone and even for me doesn't require looking up) when they do tell us the government philosophies about practicing safe sex, and recommend planned parenthood for forms of birth control etc... well, i can accept that; but i think given the situation, i've been "responsible for oneself" more than enough to not be considered making excuses for anything.
i don't go around google'ing where to find the nearest place to get help for alcohol abuse either, but drinking is yet another thing i don't do so...
i couldn't blame your thoughts going in the direction they headed if you just skimmed the thread and stopped on that post of course; mine would too.
the point isn't anything to do with my capability to find out by one way or another, as i said in the line you quoted "i would have to inquire" and i am of course as capable as anyone else, but why do i need to inquire this? i mean, if i had a son/daughter/student/whatever, this would definitely be in the list of things i think i should be telling them when i make them aware of other things, and i'm not going to say "ah hell, he can just go google it or something" and leave them to it. as simply as i can say it, i think it's sad that i've made it out of college and never was it so much as mentioned.
anyway the link is helpful, and i might bookmark it for later when such a thing becomes pertinent for me, but until then i'll continue questioning why i didn't hear 10 years ago the very simple things i've read in this thread today. i mean, if they're going to tell us "sex is worth waiting for, and you are worth waiting for, but if you decide not to wait, make sure to use a condom", why not throw in "oh by the way, if you do happen to be a screw up and just go sleeping with everyone that'll let you, you can go get tested to find out what presents they've left you in the building next to papa johns".
it's so simple but so important, how did they leave that out?
I think it's pretty rare and incredibly sheletered for someone to get to the point of sexual exploration and not have any idea that there is something called "safe sex" enough that they would Google it to find out more. It's also something your partner would hopefully bring up if you did not. It happens when you also have the other necessary talk: who's using birth control? Birth control and safe sex go hand in hand in many talks. With the exception of the extremely sheltered and/or kids way too young to know better, I don't think there's any lack of available information or resources for someone who wants information.
I am not sure what your relationship experience is. But even for those that are virgins by choice, that doesn't mean they aren't sexually experimenting, and during those times of growing intimacy there are needs for discussions about what comes next and what the plan is. Even people who make a choice to not have sex still have a lot of forms of safe intimacy, sometimes even shared orgasms. The challenge is that once you open pandoras box it's easy to want to do more in the heat of the moment.
Presumably when you are going through the stages of physical intimacy or even manual orgasms, some discussion about birth control is the next indicated step. Right?
Akasha
it's real simple.
yes, that situation sounds very rare.
no, it wasn't one i went through.
no, i do not understand how a clear message gets further distorted into suddenly meaning i have no idea there is something called "safe sex".
no, google wasn't exactly an option 10 years ago.
no, broadband didn't exist 10 years ago.
no, i did not frequently use the computer 10 years ago.
yes, i could have looked it up since then and i'm aware of the fact.
no, i did not look it up.
yes, i find it stupid i was told where to go to buy condoms but not where to go for a std test.
no, my "girlfriends" never brought up the taking the test.
yes, they were all on birth control and i knew which kind.
no, it did not matter because we did not have sex.
no, we did not exchange fluids outside of kissing.
yes, i mean normal kissing.
yes, that means about as virgin as they come.
yes, my sex life has been sheltered.
no, i never so much as insinuated a lack of available information, among the 50 other things i did not allude to.
yes, i have touched into the gray area between the black and white in regards to sex.
no, i have never lost control of my own actions and blamed it on the heat of the moment.
yes, i had a plan to what "came next"; nothing, followed by waiting and having patience.
yes, i hoped to fall in love.
no, i don't intend on regretting my first time.
yes, i would have regretted any of prior girlfriends having been my first.
no, i do not regret or rejoice being a virgin.
yes, we talked about safe sex, including diseases and pregnancy prevention.
no, we did not talk about mandatory testing.
no, i don't find that to be an issue.
yes, the reason is because i was not going to have sex with her/them at the present time.
yes, i wanted to have sex with them.
no, it was not enough to sway me.
yes, i was aware that not having protection decreased how much protest the word no would receive.
yes, the last time i've dated anyone was a long time ago.
yes, asking new potential partners about std's is difficult for me.
yes, even if they ask first.
yes, i know there's no reason for it in the eyes of others.
yes, i have been under the wrong impressions.
yes, i know i could have requested more, learned more, offered more, accomplished more.
no, i don't think it matters due to the whole "abstinence" thing.
no, i do not know for a fact that i am std free anymore than anyone else does.
yes, i'm tired of explaining something and not getting the point across.
yes, i'm tired aka sleepy as well.
yes, that impacts my writing.
no, i don't see myself as irresponsible.
no, i don't see myself to have made excuses.
yes, i do believe the golden rule of safe sex was, "abstinence is the safest and only 100% way to be sure"
yes, i spent far too long on this reply.
yes, i retyped it more than once.
no, i don't mean to sound like a dick.
yes, i'm aware i'm making myself sound that way anyway.
yes, i care what people think.
yes, that includes people in this forum.
yes, some people more than others.
no, i don't think it's foolish to do so.
yes, i'm going to shut up now.
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